Crazy Little Thing Called Love
by GreyAncient
Summary: Lost Fanfic Theater Part 2. It's summer vacation and Kagome just wants to spend a week on the beach relaxing with her friends. Unfortunately, a certain stubborn half-demon is determined to bring her back to the Warring States Era, even if he has to follow her halfway across modern day Japan to do it. Rated M for Inuyasha's filthy mouth.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: Welcome to part 2 of what I'm now calling Lost Fanfic Theater. Our story this time is Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen of Blades. This one's a bit of a monster compared to Two of a Kind, weighing in at 35 chapters. As always, I did not write this. I'm simply publishing it because it's effectively no longer exists on the internet. I'm keeping it as intact as possible, which with this one sadly is not as much as I'd like (The start of each chapter had an illustration depicting a scene or character in said chapter. I also added line breaks between paragraphs to make it easier to read). So without further ado Lost Fanfic Theater presents:**

Crazy Little Thing Called Love  
by Queen of Blades

CHAPTER ONE

"I told you, I'm going, so knock it off!"

"I thought you said it was your summer vacation?"

"Yes! Emphasis on 'vacation'!"

Kagome and Inu Yasha glared at one another, two mighty wills locking proverbial horns in an argument that Kagome thought was getting pretty old. Every time she went home, he tried to talk her into staying. He just took it too personally! Going back to her time only meant leaving him physically, not _leaving him_ leaving him! And it wasn't as if she wouldn't be back, or anything. They still had more shards to find! But it was her summer vacation, and she figured she was more than due for a little down time.

Inu Yasha crossed his arms and huffed at her. She balled her fists and huffed back. He growled, she growled back. If he hadn't been sitting on the lip of the well, in her way, she would've just jumped in and let him rot. But he was in the way, and she didn't feel like going through the "sit" routine this time. After all they'd been through, she thought in frustration, she shouldn't have to pull that on him to get her way. "Inu Yasha," she hissed through clenched teeth and narrowed her eyes at him, "get out of my way. I'll be back in one week, ok? Just deal with it."

He didn't move. "Why can't you spend your vacation with me?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm always with you!" Oops! That didn't come out right. Kagome backpedaled and tried it again: "I mean, I like being with you, but we're always in some kind of danger. I can't relax under those circumstances! That's why I need this vacation!" She wrung her hands and pleaded with him with big, dewy eyes. "I haven't spent time with my other friends in months! Inu Yasha, please don't make me say the 'S' word…"

Inu Yasha gulped. "You wouldn't…"

"Don't make me do it…"

He bit his lip, and his claws dug into the side of the well dislodging bits of wood and leaves. He looked up at the leafy branches interwoven over his head, felt the dappled sunlight on his face, refused to let go of his nice fantasy about spending a little quality time with Kagome. Alone. On a picnic, or something. Whatever girls liked, he wouldn't know. Kagome liked picnics, he knew that. He envisioned walking someplace scenic, maybe having a decent conversation about her home, her family, these friends she was so keen on spending time with instead of him. Then a nasty little thought got hold of his imagination and his heart skipped. He looked into Kagome's face with an expression so intense it made her take a step back.

"So," he drawled in a dangerous tone, "what's his name?"

Kagome gaped at him. "What…are you…talking about?"

"Ah-ha!" He jabbed a finger in her face. "It's that Hoho guy, isn't it?"

She rolled her eyes and batted his finger out of the way. "That's 'Hojo', and so what if he's one my friends? Why are you so jealous of me all the time? Do you think girls like that? Always feeling like we're on a—uh…*cough*-um, under somebody's thumb?" She almost said "on a leash", but her eyes fell on the rosary around Inu Yasha's neck, and she quickly found something less touchy to say.

Inu Yasha didn't miss the reference, though. His hand went up to touch the beads as he fixed her with a guilt-inspiring frown. "You're seeing him, aren't you?"

"Define 'seeing'…"

"AH! I knew it!" Inu Yasha jumped off the well, the better to stalk around her and shout in her ear. "He's your boyfriend, isn't he? You're just—just—stringing me along, aren't you?!" He stomped around to the far side of the well and leaned on it, a look in his eyes that was a mix of anger and hurt. "Fine!" He smacked the edge of the well, then turned his back on her. "Go home! Have a nice summer vacation with Hojo!"

"Inu—" Kagome began angrily, but he was through the trees and in the air and gone before she could even utter the other half of his name. "You are such a jerk!" As she hopped up onto the well's edge and swung her legs over the side, she muttered: "Ok fine. If that's the way you wanna be, fine. See if I care. You won't ruin my vacation, you big jerk! I'm outta here!"

And with that, she dropped into the well. From the treetops, Inu Yasha watched her go, having heard every single word. "I'm not a jerk… Bitch… Fine. Just leave. I don't care what you do!" But as he leapt away en route to nowhere, his mind tormented him with images of Kagome and an impossibly handsome young man, who was smart and well-educated and sensitive and—well, everything Kagome thought he wasn't. That same imagination told him this must be what Kagome's friend Hojo was like. After all, she'd spent time with the boy before, how could he be so conceited as to think nothing had come of it? And Hojo was from Kagome's time, he went to her school, lived in her world. Probably knew what the hell she was talking about all the time. Yeah, that Hojo guy was a much better match for Kagome than some scruffy half-demon who couldn't even express himself without resorting to violence.

Inu Yasha landed by a tree so he could express himself by punching a big hole in its trunk with his fist, then he plopped down next to it and expected the tree to give him pleasant shade after that sort of treatment. The lack of decent shade from the abused tree provided a metaphor for his relationship with Kagome (and just about everybody else) that for once Inu Yasha grasped. Or maybe the universe trying to impart great wisdom to him through nature was just his imagination (or guilty conscience). "Kagome…

He jumped to his feet, turned around, grasped the tree trunk with either hand, hauled back and slammed his head against it in time to his memory of Kagome saying: "You (WHAM) are (WHAM) such (WHAM) a (WHAM) jerk (WHAM) exclamation point (WHAM)".

A familiar voice at his feet made him stop that, only he was so dizzy all he could do after teetering about for a few steps was fall down on his butt and lay himself out spread eagle to recover. "Shippo…go away."

Shippo did not go away. He trotted up nice and close to Inu Yasha's face, to make sure the other demon didn't miss a single nuance of his mockery. "You are such a moron. What did you do this time? Tell her she's ugly again?"

And yet, dizzy as he was, Inu Yasha could still put an awful lot of grip strength behind those fingers he wrapped around the little fox's neck. "It's none of your business."

Shippo choked and tugged at Inu Yasha's fingers. "Let…go of me…you big…jerk!" Little sparkly things danced in his vision, which was quickly taking on the appearance of a long, dark tunnel.

Inu Yasha let go. He raised a thoughtful finger to the heavens and observed: "Everyone keeps calling me that. I think I'll make it stop with you."

"EEK!" Shippo just barely dodged the fist that almost put a nice hole in his skull (like the hole in the tree trunk, which Shippo only just noticed and which scared him silly as he belatedly realized he'd picked a very bad day to butt into Inu Yasha's relationship troubles). "Ok! Ok! I'm going!" He tried to run, but Inu Yasha had him by the tail. "You know, Inu Yasha, that's getting pretty old—URK! Cut it out! Do you want me to stay or go, huh? Make up your mind, 'cause if you want me to leave, I'm ready to go!"

Inu Yasha turned the fox so they were nose to nose and asked, very calmly: "Do you think I'm a jerk to Kagome?"

"Eh?" Shippo wasn't quite sure how to answer that one. On the one paw, he could be honest and say "yes", which would probably get him strangled. On the other paw, he could lie, which would also get him strangled. He opted for middle ground: "Sometimes, I guess. *ahem* Why do you ask?"

Inu Yasha shrugged with one shoulder while distractedly twirling Shippo back and forth with his other hand. "Do you think she's got a boyfriend in the future?"

His body wasn't the only thing that was spinning now. Shippo shook his head, totally confused by this constant shift in directions. "Ok, fox," he coached himself, "somewhere in his mad ramblings there is a pattern. Find it, and the jerk might start to make sense." He thought about it and decided Kagome and Inu Yasha had had another fight on her way into the well, during which she had called him a jerk and might have mentioned the name of a male other than Inu Yasha, or Inu Yasha's limited imagination might just be working overtime that morning.

"Yeah," he finally replied with the sarcasm layered on nice and thick, "and a better one than you—YIP!" Shippo flew from Inu Yasha's grasp, straight at the tree, where he popped into the hole Inu Yasha's fist had made and just stuck there. "Get me out of here right now!"

Inu Yasha's face was suddenly right in Shippo's. "Is that what you think? She can do better than me?"

"Shit, yeah!" Shippo screamed back at him. "You're a jerk! The only time you ever say anything nice to her, you always try to make it sound like it's some kind of momentary lapse of reason! Ugh! Urk!" He struggled but his body remained firmly stuck in the tree trunk. "If you had half a brain and a reasonably intelligent command of the language, you'd tell her how you feel and not act like such a big, stupid baby about it! You're old enough to be her grampaw and you act like her baby brother! Dammit, Inu Yasha, get me out of this tree!"

"Ok!" Inu Yasha pulled back his fist with a wicked grin.

Shippo turned white and frantically shook his head: "Not like that! Not like that!"

* * *

Kagome unpacked her things in her bedroom, still grumbling invectives against Inu Yasha, while feeling kind of guilty at the same time. She also felt a little afraid for Hojo, since Inu Yasha's temper tended to be a tad unpredictable, and it would be pretty scary for her classmate to have a jealous demon dog show up on his doorstep wanting to "talk". In Inu Yasha-speak, that meant "put 'em up, Human, let's rumble", and Hojo was by no means a brawler. Bam-bam-bam! And it would all be over. Hojo'd be lucky if he didn't come out of it with brain damage. On the up side, Inu Yasha probably could benefit from those soothing herbs Hojo was always giving her.

She snorted: "Yeah! Soothing herbs and a therapist! Dumb jerk."

But he'd looked so hurt… Did he really think she had somebody here that she preferred over him? Somebody she was keeping a secret? Kagome sat down on the edge of her bed and lay back to stare at the ceiling. If she could actually take him anywhere, she would have invited Inu Yasha to come home with her. But how could she explain him to anybody, with those doggy ears, claws and demon eyes? Yeesh! Not to mention his utter lack of manners! She could see it now:  
_Kagome: "Hi, everybody! This is my boyfriend, Inu Yasha. He's a demon."  
Everybody: "A demon?! EEEK!"  
Inu Yasha: "Come back here, you cowardly bitches!"_

She imagined seeing a movie with Inu Yasha:_  
Inu Yasha: "Hey, Kagome? Where are the people?" (Crawling behind the screen, getting fed up and slashing it.)_

At a restaurant:  
_Inu Yasha: "Gobble-gobble! This food is great! Hey, you! Bring me more food!" (Grabbing the waitress' skirt.)_

Even if she could dress him up, she certainly couldn't take him anywhere! Ugh! There was another thing: Shopping with Inu Yasha:  
_Inu Yasha: "Why do I have to wear these funny looking clothes? D'ya want me to look as stupid as you do all the time?" (Throwing merchandise all over the store.)_

They had nothing in common (except the Shikon Jewel)! But… Kagome closed her eyes and remembered the times he'd been nice, when he'd actually said something sweet and hadn't taken it back. She remembered his courage and all the times he'd saved her life. "…and he looked so hurt when I left," she whispered to herself, then snapped out of it. "I need this vacation, and he'd just ruin it!" Decision made, Kagome went back to putting away her things.

* * *

"Inu Yasha, I dunno if this is such a great idea," Shippo said cautiously, staying out of range and rubbing the big bump on his head from his last encounter with Inu Yasha's fist.

"Too bad," Inu Yasha snapped, "I'm going." They were at the well, Inu Yasha sitting on the lip ready to go in, and Shippo standing on the other side of the rim trying to talk him out of it.

Shippo sighed. "She doesn't want you to! Can't you let her have her way just this once?"

He dug his claws into the wood and squeezed his eyes shut. "I can't lose her, Shippo." Then he dropped into the well."Who said anything about 'losing her', you big moron?" The fox hesitated for a moment, thinking how much he was going to regret what he was about to do, then jumped in after him. "That idiot. He's gonna blow it again!" Oh well, it would be interesting to see where Kagome lived, anyway, even if Inu Yasha would be there making an ass of himself the whole time. Hm. That might just be the most amusing part of the trip!


	2. Chapter 2

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:

Chapter Two

Inu Yasha crawled out of the well inside the shrine, snuck over to the door and pressed his ear against it to listen for any sounds of people (namely, Kagome). He didn't expect any noises behind him, though.

"Oi, Jerk Boy!" Shippo hailed him, and Inu Yasha just about jumped out of his skin.

"Go home!" He reached down to snatch up Shippo by his god-given handle and toss him back into the well, but the little fox darted through his legs and out into the main shrine grounds. In the middle of the courtyard, he turned around, tugged at his eye with his finger and stuck out his tongue.

"Nyeh-nyeh! You can't catch me! Nyeh! WOOPS!"

"Oh, you're so cute!"

Inu Yasha buried his face in his hands and sighed. Figured the first person to see the stupid kitsune was Kagome's mother, who had taken such a fancy to Inu Yasha's ears upon their first meeting. Mrs. Higurashi scooped up the thoroughly startled Shippo and hugged him, then ran his tail through her hand and chirped: "It's so soft and fluffy! And look at those tiny, little feet! You're a fox spirit, aren't you? Kagome brings home the strangest friends sometimes!"

"Strange?" Shippo echoed, then gave her his cutest smile. "Oh, you mean Inu Yasha! Yeah, he is pretty strange."

Inside the little shrine, Inu Yasha cracked his knuckles and growled. "Why you…! I'm strange now, am I? We'll see who's strange when I'm done with you, you little furball!"

Kagome's mother laughed. "Well, Kagome seems to like him… She talks about him all the time. And I think he's Sota's hero. Is he really half-demon?"

Hero, huh? On that high note, Inu Yasha decided it was time to make his entrance. Kagome's mom was alright! And that kid brother of hers, too. Heh. Sota's hero. He should be Kagome's hero, too, dammit! After all the times he'd saved her life, you'd think she'd idolize him! But nooooo! Little Miss I Don't Have Time For You was probably off idolizing Hojo!

Mrs. Higurashi put down Shippo and gave Inu Yasha a great, big smile. "Well, it's been a long time, hasn't it, Inu Yasha?"

Inu Yasha turned red and ducked his head. "Uh, yeah, I guess. Um, is Kagome around?"

Mom tweaked his ears, turning Inu Yasha's face even redder. "You just missed her—your ears are so cute! Do you mind me doing this?"

"Actually, yes…"

She stopped. "Sorry."

"What do you mean 'just missed her'?" Shippo asked and reached up his arms so she'd pick him up again like Kagome always did. What a nice lady, he thought as she stroked his tail some more.

Mom scratched Shippo's head and replied: "She already left for the beach." She frowned at Inu Yasha, who was turning many shades of jealous green and growling at Shippo. "I really don't think you two could blend at a public beach, so don't try telling me you were invited." Shippo licked her cheek, which put a smile on her face again. "She'll be back next Saturday."

Inu Yasha's eyes bugged. "A whole week?!" He clenched his fists and petulantly stomped his foot. "I can't believe her own mother is letting her spend a whole week at the beach with a boy!"

"What boy?"

Inu Yasha was taken aback. No boys? No Hojo? Just Kagome and her girlfriends? A wave of relief washed over him and left him almost giddy. Kagome wasn't with a boy after all!

Mom laughed all of a sudden. "Well, there will be boys there—and that nice Hojo she's been seeing is going, too. But Kagome isn't going with a boy, she's going with her girlfriends."

Inu Yasha shrieked: "She's been 'seeing' Hojo?!"

Shippo flipped his tail over his face. "Oh-ohhh…"

"Well, they've only been to the movies a few times," Mom amended a little sheepishly, "but he seems so nice." Then it hit her. She saw Inu Yasha's heartbroken expression and did the math: There was definitely something Kagome hadn't been telling her about her relationship with this dog-eared boy. "Is there something I should know, Inu Yasha?"

You should know your daughter's a two-timing trollop! But Inu Yasha didn't say that. After all, it wasn't as if he owned Kagome, or like they were 'official' or anything. They hadn't even really talked about it (and finished the conversation). Was she talking about it with Hojo even now as they made their way to an entire (romantic!) week together at the seashore? AUGH! "So is it just Kagome and this Hojo guy?"

Mom raised an eyebrow, the pieces in this little puzzle rapidly falling into place in her brain. So, her daughter had a half-demon admirer, did she? Mom wasn't so sure she approved of that, except for the fact that Kagome said Inu Yasha had saved her life a few times and was a nice boy deep down inside. Nice Boy wasn't what Mom was seeing before her. That would be Jealous Boy cracking his knuckles with a dangerous gleam in his strange eyes, none of which boded well for any boy on the beach trip with Kagome and her girlfriends. Better stop any trouble before it got started.

"It's several boys and girls from Kagome's class," Mom told Inu Yasha pointedly, "and I know every one of them and their parents very well! Kagome doesn't need a jealous boy like you ruining her vacation! So if you can't calm down and behave yourself, I don't want you anywhere near my daughter!" She hugged Shippo a little too tight as she got in Inu Yasha's face and exchanged looks of death with the half-demon. Much to Shippo's astonishment, Inu Yasha backed down.

"I won't ruin anything…" Inu Yasha moped. He scraped his toes in the dust and refused to meet Mom's eyes. "I just want to—" he paused and looked up, "—um, be where she is." And keep that stupid Hojo kid's hands off of her!

Mom didn't waver in her resolve. A jealous boyfriend was dangerous enough, but a jealous half-demon boyfriend was simply out of the question. Kagome could do a lot better. And anyway, the poor girl really needed this holiday with her normal friends. "Well, that's very nice, but you're just going to have to live without her for a week. I'm sorry." She put Shippo down and gave his backside a shove in Inu Yasha's direction. "I think you boys should go home now."  
Like hell. "Ok," Inu Yasha thought, "I can't attack her mom, or Kagome'll never ever forgive me. Can't threaten her, either." He scrambled for a plan that wouldn't further his image as a dangerously jealous half-demon but was completely at a loss about what to do. Shippo to the rescue.

The kitsune fluffed his tail and made his eyes as big and dewy as possible as he looked up at Kagome's Mom and wrung his tiny hands. "I really envy Kagome," he sighed. "I've never been to the beach before. It must be so much fun to have all those friends to hang around with and just play at the shore for a whole week. I'll bet they're going to a nice resort, aren't they?" Big, big sigh.

Inu Yasha gave his little partner in crime a funny look but decided to go along with whatever Shippo had up his sleeve. The kid had a much higher tolerance for sappy behaviors than he did.

Mom wasn't fooled. "I'm not telling you where she went."

"Shit." The boys said in unison, with feeling. It was very much the wrong thing to say.

"Is that how you talk around my little girl?!" Mom accused, jabbing an angry finger at each demon in turn. "I was wondering where she was picking up that kind of language! She was getting it from demons! That's it," she declared as she spun on her heel and headed for the house, "when Kagome gets back I am absolutely forbidding her to have anything more to do with you two—and those other bad influences she's hanging around with in the past! I'm surprised she's hasn't taken up with Oda Nobunaga, himself, and tried to sack a village!"

Inu Yasha felt this wouldn't be the best time to tell Kagome's mom that they'd met a boy calling himself by that name and they had almost sacked a castle with him, but it was just to save a princess (and a lot of other girls) from having their souls eaten by a toad demon. Inu Yasha also felt it would be unwise to reveal his past sacking of Kikyo's village and the slaughter of villagers that had gone with it.

Suddenly, Mom spun back around and stomped back to stick her finger in Inu Yasha's face again. He actually took a step back. "You better not have tried anything with my baby, you—you—overgrown mutt, or I will personally rip off your ears and make you eat them!"

"With soy sauce, or-" For which, Shippo got his furry butt punted back into the shrine by Kagome's mother, who no longer found him adorable.

"Go home!" With that, she stalked off to the house and slammed the door with great finality, leaving Inu Yasha trembling with rage and hurt in the courtyard, and Shippo on his head at the foot of the stairs down to the well.

Going from jerk to hero and back again that fast was pretty disorienting, so Inu Yasha just stood there for a while and digested what had just happened. Kagome's mom planned to forbid her to see him. Ever. No more Kagome going into the well to his time and having grand (and dangerous—but that just gave him more opportunities to be heroic) adventures. And just what the hell had happened to "Kagome talks about you all the time, you're Sota's hero"? Didn't that count? Just because he got a little bit jealous and said a naughty word, Mommy wouldn't let him near her little girl again. His first instinct was to snarl: "Who does she think she is?" But the answer was: The one person he had to impress if he ever wanted to see Kagome again, that's who.

"This sucks," Shippo said as he emerged from the shrine once again. "Oh well, I guess we couldn't expect you to actually be able to impress a girl's mom." He ducked Inu Yasha's claws with admirable calm and continued to mock. "Too bad. You were actually in the nice guy column for, what? Five whole *duck* minutes? That's a *dodge* record for you, *duck* isn't it?"

"Will you shut the hell up?!"

Shippo had a really good snotty remark all ready but one look at Inu Yasha's face made him choke on it. "Inu…Yasha? Are you crying?"

"SHUT UP!"

And Shippo was once again sailing through the air, this time headed in the direction of the house. Inu Yasha watched him through misty eyes as he tumbled end over end, then dropped right into Sota's waiting arms. Sota? Things were looking up. Mom might think he was the scum of the earth, but he was little brother's hero!

"Sota!" He grinned, covering the distance between himself and the little boy in ten giant, eager steps. Sota stood in the shadow of the house, holding Shippo and playing with his tail, which seemed to be a very popular item that day. "Long time, no see!"

"She went to Green Mermaid resort. It's about thirty kilometers north of here."

Inu Yasha and Shippo blinked at him as if struck. Inu Yasha's ears twitched. "How far is thirty kilometers?"

Sota rolled his eyes, then realized he had no idea what unit of measurement people had used in the Warring States period and even if he did, he wouldn't know how to convert it to metric. "Uh…ok, it's pretty far, but follow the coast north until you come to this really big—I mean, _huge_—building that's painted green and has a sign in front of it with a mermaid on it. You know what that is, right?"

"The sign or the mermaid?" Shippo asked, and got thumped on the head for it. "Geez, Inu Yasha, it won't kill you to have a sense of humor!"

"Mermaid," Inu Yasha repeated, "I know what those are. Huge, green building on the shore. Anything else?"

Sota thought about it. "Well, there'll probably be a lot of people there, and you'll need money to rent a room, if they have one available, which they probably don't."

Inu Yasha snorted: "We don't need a room. We'll camp out."

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Sota advised, "you'll just get arrested. They don't let people do that." He pointed at Inu Yasha's ears and tugged Shippo's tail. "And you can't go like this—or wearing those clothes. Nobody dresses like that."

The two demons sighed impatiently. Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes at Sota, who wasn't proving to be quite the great, white hope he'd promised to be a few minutes ago. "Look, Sota, we don't have money, we don't have other clothes, we can't do anything about our demonic parts, AND WE DON'T BLOODY HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH IT!"

Sota frowned, hip to the whole situation, since he'd overheard his mom's conversation with these boys. "You think Hojo's gonna make his move, don't you?"  
"Is he planning one?" Inu Yasha demanded.

Sota shrugged. "I know he really likes Kagome a lot."

Inu Yasha started quivering and misting up again, then mastered his emotions. "Thanks for the directions," he said and made as if to leave, but the little boy had a death grip on his kimono. "Let go!"

"If you go off like you are now, you're not gonna score any points with Kagome," Sota said bluntly. "She'll hate you for embarrassing her in front of her friends."

Shippo bit back on his remark about how Inu Yasha was probably going to do that anyway. His head still hurt, and his butt was definitely bruised. "Any suggestions?" He asked instead, just as Mom called Sota to come inside and eat his lunch. "Damn!"

"You shouldn't talk like that in front of a little kid, you know," Sota scolded him, then shouted: "I'm coming!" To Inu Yasha and Shippo he said: "Wait for me inside the well, ok? Gramps thinks you're cool, so I'll ask him to help. I'll be back after lunch! Don't go anywhere!" With that, he ran into the house to eat.

The two demons realized at that moment that they were very hungry and the odds of getting a meal out of Kagome's mom were slightly less than zero. Also, lacking money, they couldn't go buy food, either. Well, the only thing for it was to go back home and grab a bite to eat, then come back and meet with Sota, and maybe Gramps, again. This was definitely not going as planned (not that Inu Yasha actually had a plan, beyond showing up on Kagome's doorstep and insinuating himself into her summer vacation). She didn't say anything about going to the beach! Sounded like fun, though. Inu Yasha had never seen the ocean up close and had certainly never gone swimming in it. What would Kagome and her friends do there? Just lay around on the beach and swim in sea? Or did the resort offer other activities to amuse its patrons? Inu Yasha pictured Kagome in that tiny outfit she wore when she took a bath (after he saw her naked once…heh), then he imagined lots of pretty girls in similar attire, frolicking on the beach.

"What're _you_ grinning about!?"

* * *

When Inu Yasha and Shippo returned to the well an hour later, it wasn't Gramps who was there with Sota. "Who's that?!" Shippo asked with great interest as he spied the shapely, pretty young girl who was with Sota and another little boy.

Sota introduced her as Yuki. "She's Kei's big sister." Kei, apparently, being the small boy with Yuki. Yuki and Kei waved at Shippo, then Inu Yasha when he emerged. He gawked at the sight of the pretty girl in shorts and tank top at the top of the stairs. (Did all the girls in this time take their clothes off?) Yuki's eyes bugged at the sight of the two demons and had the usual reaction to Shippo: She picked him up, hugged him, played with his tail and declared him "adorable". Inu Yasha let her touch his ears once, noting that she had pretty eyes, a nice smile and smelled like jasmine flowers.

"ACK! What am I thinking?!" He berated himself. "I'm here to spend time with Kagome!"

She smiled at him and said sarcastically: "So, Sota tells me you guys wanna blend at the beach." She looked at Sota. "You must be joking."

"Look," Inu Yasha told her, "I just want to find Kagome and—" he almost said "keep her away from Hojo", but didn't want to risk getting the same reaction out of Yuki as that sentiment had gotten out of Kagome's mom. "And, um, you know, play on the beach."

Yuki narrowed her eyes and frowned at him. "Yeah, right. You're afraid she's gonna run off with some other guy, aren't you?"

Inu Yasha gave Sota a dirty look. "Squealer."

"What?! I didn't say anything about that, I swear!" Sota stammered, waving his hands defensively.

"Hmph!" Inu Yasha crossed his arms and looked away. "Sure you didn't."

"He didn't," Yuki told him. "It's written all over your face: You like Kagome and you're afraid she's gonna have too much fun at the beach with Hojo. You know they've gone out, right?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Uh-huh," Yuki snorted. "There's no way a guy with dog ears, claws, white hair and wolf-eyes is gonna fit in at the beach. Sota, what am I supposed to do? Cut off his ears, give him shades—hey, wait a minute! That might work!"

Inu Yasha grabbed his ears and jumped back a foot. "Stay away from my ears!"

Yuki rolled her eyes. "Not cut them off! Cover them with something—like a hat or a bandana! And you could wear dark sunglasses and color your hair."

"I'm not coloring my hair like some…_woman_!"

"You got a problem with women?" Yuki growled, hands on hips.

Shippo asked: "What about the claws?"

She frowned. "I guess we can leave those go," then, with a withering look for Inu Yasha, "and I guess we can leave his hair alone, too. It is sort of pretty."

"Sort of!?" Inu Yasha echoed in an outraged voice.

Yuki smirked. "And, _I suppose_ you're kind of cute—for a demon dog."

"Who's a dog?!" Inu Yasha sputtered and clenched his fists.

After getting off to such a swimming good start, Inu Yasha and Yuki finally stopped butting heads and got down to some serious disguise planning. It was decided that he would go shopping with Yuki, for which purpose, Sota borrowed a ball cap from Gramps to hide Inu Yasha's ears and a pair of sunglasses to hide his eyes. Until they got him something else to wear, his kimono would simply have to do. Fortunately, Shippo had been able to talk him into leaving the Tetsusaiga with Kaede, so they didn't have to deal with the sword.

"And you have to pay me back for the clothes," Yuki told him as they left the shrine.

Inu Yasha stopped her just as she opened the car door and gave her a menacing growl. "I didn't ask you to do this, you know…" He looked at the car with great suspicion, but Yuki didn't seem at all apprehensive about getting into the contraption, and damned if he was going to show fear to a girl!

"You wanna get between Kagome and Hojo this week?"

He seethed, he shook his fists at her, he started to stomp back to the shrine, changed his mind and came back. "Fine. How do I get the money for that?"

Yuki grinned a very disturbing grin and purred: "Who said anything about money?"

Inu Yasha looked like he'd been bit.

Shippo giggled. He'd used his kitsune powers to make himself appear to be a boy of about Kagome's age in a Yuki-approved outfit of shorts, T-shirt and sandals. He imagined what sort of payment Yuki would want other than cold, hard Yen.

"…but you don't have to worry about the condo," Yuki said as she fired up the car, the sound startling her passengers, though neither said anything about it, "since my family owns it already."

"What's a 'condo'?" Inu Yasha asked suspiciously. And why did this machine make so much noise? Did it have a dragon under the hood? Was that what was making it go? And where was that awful music coming from?

Yuki smiled. "It's a small house on the beach, about a kilometer from the Green Mermaid, so you'll have easy access to the same beach as Kagome. Are you guys really demons? That is so cool! And from Nobunaga's time! Wow! Have you met him?"

Inu Yasha growled, but Shippo happily told her about the toad demon (as told to him by Kagome), only he left out all the bits where Inu Yasha had played the hero. That forced Inu Yasha into the conversation, if only to make sure Yuki understood how brave, strong and daring he was and how much Kagome needed his help whenever they got into trouble. He then told her about Yura of the Hair, leaving out Kagome's heroics, which Shippo hastened to fill in.

Compared to the shopping trip to the mall, the ride in the mysterious vehicle with the loud music (Yuki's car) was a cake walk. Picking out clothes for Inu Yasha and getting him to try them on proved to be a battle every single time Yuki tried, but there was no way she was going to put up with any crap from some half-demon with an attitude problem. No matter how cute he was.

"I don't like this," he announced, throwing yet another set of clothes into Yuki's face.

She handed them to Shippo, the designated hanger-upper of rejected outfits. He grumbled but did his duty. Yuki crossed her arms and frowned at Inu Yasha with a terrifying gleam in her eye. "Ok, Miss Thing, what _do_ you like? And not what you have on!"

"Bitch."

"Go fetch."

Inu Yasha growled at her, considered ditching her completely before remembering he had no earthly idea where he was or how make her "car" go where he wanted it to, so he bit his lip and started browsing. As he walked around the store, he cast sidelong glances at the other males who were shopping to try and get an idea of what might be popular. It occurred to him that a pretty girl like Yuki would know what girls liked on a boy, but everything she picked out was so…girlie. He was the mighty half-demon Inu Yasha, dammit! His clothes needed to reflect his natural toughness. With that in mind, he dragged his escorts into a store with manly-looking garments in the display window, grabbed whatever looked the most butch and like it would fit him and dragged that off to the dressing room.

Here's what he wound up with (and, yes, he owed Yuki a lot of money, or whatever it was she planned on accepting as payment):  
1 Pair of Levis 501™ button fly jeans, pre-washed and pre-faded  
1 Harley Davidson™ T-shirt  
1 Button down white cotton dress shirt  
1 Button down denim chambray casual shirt  
1 Pair of khaki pants (to go with the dress shirt)  
1 Black leather motorcycle jacket  
1 Pair of black leather motorcycle gloves  
1 Black leather gaucho hat (to go with the dress up outfit)  
1 Harley Davidson™ baseball cap (to go with the casual outfits)  
1 Green khaki cotton blazer (to go with the dress clothes)  
3 Bandannas: Blue, red and black  
2 Pairs of shorts: Dark blue and gray, both knee-length  
1 Pair of men's swim trunks, black  
2 Plain white T-shirts  
1 Pair of Converse All Star™ sneakers, black  
1 Pair of loafers (to round out the dress up outfit)  
1 Pair of Birkenstock™ sandals  
4 Pairs of socks  
7 Pairs of underwear  
1 Set of men's pajamas, dark blue  
1 Pair of dark sunglasses  
1 Bottle of shampoo  
1 Bottle of Curve™ men's cologne  
1 Toothbrush with tube of toothpaste  
1 Bottle of sunblock, SPF 15  
1 Stick of roll on antiperspirant  
1 Hair brush  
1 Large duffel bag to put it all in

He begged for a motorcycle (since they looked so tough in the pictures at the Harley Davidson display where he got the T-shirt), but Yuki drew the line right there. Not only were motorcycles expensive, none of them had a license to operate one.

"You would have expensive taste, wouldn't you?" Yuki muttered as they put their bags in the trunk and piled into her car once again. "Oh, and before you ask: No, I won't let you drive my car, so I don't wanna hear you whining about it like you did with the motorcycle."

"Bitch."

Shippo snorted: "Oh, like you know how to drive!"

"And you do, I suppose!" Inu Yasha shot back. He was wearing his bad-ass biker clothes, and Shippo had to admit they bloody suited his personality to a T.

"Kagome's gonna hate it," Yuki yawned and watched for his reaction out of the corner of her eye. "She likes nice guys."

"If she liked nice guys," Inu Yasha shot back, "she wouldn't hang around with me." Anyway, he felt good in these clothes! Yuki was probably just trying to get a rise out of him, anyway. Wait till Kagome saw him in his dress up clothes! It would be goodbye, Hojo! Yessiree! "You're just jealous 'cause I want Kagome, not you."

"Ex-SKUZE me?!" Yuki punched him in the gut with her free hand. "What in the hell gave you the idea that I am in the least bit attracted to you, you conceited jerk!"

Again with that jerk thing. "I am not a jerk!" Inu Yasha grunted and rubbed his stomach. Hm, leather jackets made good armor.

"You're a jerk," Shippo said under his breath and got growled at for his attitude.

Inu Yasha smirked at Yuki. "You like me and you know it." Ha! That'll get her! He'd never met such a stuck up, control freak girl in his life! Inu Yasha, wear this. Inu Yasha, don't wear that. Inu Yasha, I know what's best. Whatever. Only he knew what was best for him, not some girl.

She snorted her opinion of that. "I think _you_ like _me_. A girl can tell, you know."

"Not if you were the last woman on earth."

"Likewise."

Shippo grinned. "Sounds like love to me!"

As they approached her house, Yuki said: "Ok, you guys just let me do the talking with my parents. All you have to do is be polite to them, not make conversation. I'll tell them I'm just giving you a ride to the beach, since we were all headed there anyway. Got it?"

"Whatever," said Inu Yasha. Shippo nodded.

As it turned out, her parents weren't home, so they got in, got packed and got out without having to make up stories to explain themselves. Yuki left her parents a note, then called the Higurashi's to ask if someone could bring Kei home, since something had come up which prevented her from doing it. She wisely refrained from mentioning the beach. That done, they piled into her car and headed off with a CD of music by some idol singer Yuki adored blasting from the stereo, and Inu Yasha's hair blowing out the window. Shippo could hold his human illusion no longer, so he reverted to his normal form, curled up for a nap on the back seat and dreamed of Kagome riding around on a motorcycle with Inu Yasha.


	3. Chapter 3

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Three

When they passed the Green Mermaid on the way to Yuki's condo it took both of his companions to keep Inu Yasha from jumping through the car window to go looking for Kagome straight away. And they almost had to lock him up to keep him from leaving the house to look for her before Yuki could get them settled in.

"Why can't I go now?!"

"Why can't you stop whining like a spoiled brat?" Yuki shot back as she hung her clothes in the closet of her room, Inu Yasha paced around behind her, and Shippo bounced on the bed. They were both driving her absolutely crazy. "I hope you don't think I'm putting your clothes away for you, Dog Boy," she grumped with nasty glare over her shoulder.

Inu Yasha grinned with a wicked sparkle in his eyes. "That's women's work," he spat, just to watch her go ballistic. Next thing he knew he was flat on his back on the floor with a throbbing jaw and Yuki standing over him massaging her fist. "Don't mess with me, mutt—"

He kicked her legs out from under her, and she fell on her butt with a startled yelp. "Don't mess with me, bitch—"

She slammed her foot up between his legs and grinned with immense satisfaction as she watched him clutch himself and curl into an expletive-spouting little ball. She got up and kicked him in the rear for good measure. "Allow me to elucidate: Unless you want Kagome to hate you for life, you do things my way. Get it? Now be a good little punk and put your clothes away, so we can figure out how a shit-for-brains dumbass like you is gonna impress somebody like Kagome Higurashi. Shippo: Help him."

Gulp. "Uh—ok." Shippo bounced off the bed and scurried off to the room he and Inu Yasha were supposed to share. Right about then, the kitsune wasn't too keen on the idea of being in the same country with Inu Yasha, much less the same room.

Inu Yasha rolled to his feet, still partly doubled over but no longer holding himself, and growled his best evil demon growl at Yuki, who wasn't impressed. "You can have your clothes back, bitch, I'm—"

"A loser," she finished for him. She squared off with him, arms folded, foot tapping the carpet, matching him growl for growl. With a derisive snort, she added: "I can see why Kagome doesn't want you around when it's not business. You're such an asshole. Hanging around her all the time isn't going change her mind about you, you know. You have to win her over, you moron." She reached over to smack his head where one of his ears hid under the bandanna. "I mean, come _on_! You're a guy with dog ears. There are tons of cute guys running around the beach, and you think she'll go for you just because you're in her face?"

Inu Yasha seethed with fury but at the same time he wanted to cry. Yuki's words spoke right to his biggest insecurity about his feelings for Kagome: Why should she pick a half-demon from another time when she could have a normal guy who understood her and her world? She was so pretty…she could have anybody, he was sure, any of those "cute guys" Yuki said would be on the beach. He couldn't bully her into choosing him over a human and (even if he was willing to do it) he couldn't beg her and expect that to work, either. Anyway, if any of her friends saw him doing it, Kagome would probably be mortified. Why did he ever think this was a good idea? He could've just put up with her being gone, then bugged her about what she'd done this week when she returned.

He plopped down onto the bed with an unhappy sigh, hung his head and tried really hard not to shed tears in front Yuki. Much to his surprise, she sat down next to him and said comfortingly: "I'm sorry, Inu Yasha. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what your relationship is like. Though…it's pretty obvious you care about her a lot."

Inu Yasha was suspicious of this sudden change in attitude, but the girl had made a valid point about Kagome. "You're probably right—about her being able to find somebody better."

"What could be better than somebody who loves her?" Yuki asked.

ERK! "Luh—love?!" Inu Yasha sputtered with a panicky look and jumped off the bed to pace again. "Um…I just really like her…"

Yuki grinned. "Uh-huh. Sure. What's so bad about admitting you love her?" Then she nodded knowingly. "Oh, I get it: You don't think she feels the same way, so you're scared she'll find out and reject you."

"Shut up."

"That's what I thought," she sighed as she got up and slung an arm about his shoulders. He shook it off. "My aren't we touchy? Well, Dog Boy, you know what they say: No guts, no glory. If you want the girl, you have to do what it takes to win her." She winked. "Even if it means going against your nature and actually being a nice guy."

Inu Yasha gave her one last growl before sulking off to his room. What did she know about his feelings? Bitch. He didn't understand Yuki at all: First she's cussing him out and putting him down, then she's all sorry and nice, then she's putting him down again! Kagome was a lot easier to understand. At least she didn't put him down (except for that "sit" thing). He had a sudden nightmare vision of Yuki with the power of Sit and shuddered. Scary woman. And what exactly had she meant with those hints about him paying her back with something other than money? She better not have meant any kind of services, because he was nobody servant—or stud. Except for maybe Kago—ACK!

"Damn, Inu Yasha! She's a female you!"

He snarled at Shippo and got to work putting his new clothes on hangers and into the closet. No way was he going to reveal his ponderings to Shippo! He'd never hear the end of it! Worse, the little brat would probably run and tell Kagome he wanted to do _that_ with her. Gods, she'd really hate him, then! She'd think that's all he was after, tell him to "sit", go home and never speak to him again. Or (a tiny voice in head argued) maybe she wants it, too, and—NO! She's too young for that! And she's not that kind of a girl (at least, he hoped she wasn't, with all those cute guys Yuki mentioned running around here).

It took him a while to notice Shippo was handing him the clothes he was hanging up. "Thanks," he muttered. Once all of his clothes were hung, he started looking around for someplace to put his toiletries. Much as he hated the idea, he decided to ask Yuki, lest he screw up and make her mad again. She led him to a small room with a tile floor and a small sink against the wall to the left. Next to the sink was a large, odd-looking ceramic…pallet? Chair? Container? What the hell was that thing? Hmm… Inu Yasha and Shippo investigated it while Yuki put his things into little drawers under the sink. The unidentifiable was white with a long trough on the floor and a ceramic box on a pole, with a large button set into its front . Inu Yasha pushed the button and jumped back in shock when the chair-thing roared at him and swooshed a torrent of water through the trough. He watched in utter fascination as the water washed down a drain at the far end of the thing, under a sort of hood..

Yuki giggled. "This is a toilet. When you have to…um…relieve yourself, you squat here," she pointed at the trough, "do your thing, wipe with this," she pointed at a stack of filmy white paper on a shelf within reach of the toilet, "then push this button to flush it away." She demonstrated, then suddenly cleared her throat. "Well, since you're male, I guess you wouldn't have to squat to..." she mimicked the male posture for peeing, getting amused looks from the demons. She then went to the sink. "Here's how you get water to come out of this," she twisted the knobs, making water come out the spout, told them which dispensed hot water and which dispensed cold.

Then she directed her guests through a door to a small anteroom and said: "Get undressed here," then went on through another door to a larger room with a tile floor and a large, tiled tub at one end. The tub had knobs and a faucet like the sink did. Next to it was a wooden bucket with colorful bars of soap, small cloths and a long-handled brush in it. A selection of thick, dark blue towels were neatly folded and stacked on the floor nearby. Against the wall were four small, low, wooden stools. Now those were things Inu Yasha and Shippo recognized. "This is—"

"The bath," Inu Yasha interrupted with a smug look. "We have baths where I come from, too."

Yuki blinked at him. "Really? Just like this? I mean, without the automatic faucets."

The demons nodded in unison, a little puzzled by that reaction. Yuki explained: "A lot of people have Western-style bathrooms, since they take up less space. My dad wanted to have a traditional Japanese bath here, since my mom wouldn't have one in the city house. She wouldn't let him do the rest of this house traditional, either."

Shippo knit his brows and scratched his head. "What's 'Western-style'?"

She giggled. "Gaijin."

"Oh!" They nodded knowingly. Foreigners and their weird customs. Poor, uncivilized freaks didn't even know how to have a proper bath. Well, Inu Yasha had heard that gaijin were smelly and they couldn't even use chopsticks!

Yuki asked curiously: "There aren't many gaijin in Japan back in your time, are there? What are they like? They told us in history class that the Europeans were all a bunch of barbarians."

Having found something they could actually impress her with, the boys nattered on about round eyed barbarians they'd never actually seen but had heard about. They followed her out to the kitchen, where she got them all glasses of water with little square pieces of ice in them that came from a big cabinet full of cold air. She talked into a small machine for a while, then put it back on its holder and happily told them she'd just ordered something called "pizza".

"It's food," she explained. "Someone makes it and brings it here for us to eat. It's really good, you'll like it. I'll go grocery shopping later, so we don't have to get delivery all the time."

The lads exchanged puzzled looks. "'Grocery shopping'?" Inu Yasha echoed. "Is 'grocery'…food?"

Yuki chuckled, amazed at the number of things she took for granted in her modern Japan. They even knew it by a different name, didn't they? Japan was Nippon and Tokyo, her home and Kagome's, was Edo. They didn't have indoor plumbing, refrigerators, pizza, grocery stores, televisions, radios, cars—they didn't even put their clothes on the kinds of hangers she did. And they slept on futons on the floor, rather than on a Western-style bed like they had here at the condo and in her Tokyo home. No wonder Shippo wanted to bounce on the bed! He'd probably never seen anything like it (certainly not that springy). Yuki looked upon her charges with new admiration for the calm way they'd dealt with the concepts of a car and a shopping mall.

Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking about all the things I take for granted that people don't have in your time," she replied mirthfully. "Like the thing I got the ice out of," she pointed at the refrigerator. "That's called a refrigerator. We keep things cold in it, and it has a machine in it that makes ice. I can't believe how cool you guys were about my car, either!"

Well, he was just "cool" all around, Inu Yasha thought smugly. Everything in Kagome's time seemed to be done by machines: People traveled in them, kept food in them, used them to dispense hot and cold water, to communicate with other people. The few times he'd been here, he hadn't had the time to really experience the way people lived, being too busy fighting a demon or a ghost or something like that.

"You still haven't told us what 'grocery' is," Shippo reminded Yuki.

She took a sip of water and told him: "It's a market, a place to buy food. Groceries are food you've bought at a market."

Shippo asked suspiciously: "Are you a good cook?"

Yuki assured him she was a very good cook, and so were the people who made the pizza she'd ordered. "Oh yeah, you guys don't have anything like pizza in your time, either, do you?"

Inu Yasha shrugged. "Depends. What is it?" Instant ice…hm. It sure was nice to have cold water on demand like that. And food, too.

"It's a big round…um, piece of bread with sauce and toppings on it," Yuki explained, drawing a circle on the coffee table with her finger and making motions as if she was dropping things onto it. "You can get anything you like on a pizza—meat, vegetables, fish, eggs, rice—anything. It's another gaijin import." When they frowned at that, she hastened to add: "They're not as barbaric as they used to be, and some of their food's actually pretty good."

Inu Yasha and Shippo decided they'd believe that when they tasted this "pizza". "So the furniture," Shippo asked, bouncing on the couch cushion. "I guess it's gaijin, too?"

Yuki nodded. She wondered how they'd take the truth if she told them about her family, then decided she just as well. After all, if a car couldn't freak them out, then…"The furniture's my mom's taste. She's American," Yuki confessed in an embarrassed voice. "That's a country across the sea to the east. It, um, was settled by Europeans a couple hundred years ago. Mom's ancestors were German."

She's gaijin? Inu Yasha looked at Yuki more closely. She pointedly refused to meet his gaze, choosing to stare into her glass instead. Poor girl must get hell for it, but then again, her family seemed to be rich—and a rich man could get his women wherever he chose and expect lesser mortals to just deal with it. His money could even shield his kids from any trouble they might get for being half bloods. So, he thought with a tight, little smirk, Yuki was also the half-blood offspring of a powerful man.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" Inu Yasha blinked in confusion. "I was just thinking, um, that—well, I'm a half-blood, too, and…" He had no idea what he wanted to say, so he just sat back, gulped icy water and flushed with embarrassment.

Yuki laughed, sounding almost as embarrassed as he did. Shippo sighed with relief: He wasn't up for another Inu Yasha vs. Yuki fight yet. He guessed it was good the two head-butters had something like that in common, unless it just gave them one more thing to pick on each other about. The kitsune rolled his eyes: It would just figure if they did use it as ammo instead of a common ground. Funny, he thought, she didn't look very gaijin. Not that he'd actually seen one, or anything, but he'd heard they had funny-colored hair and big, round eyes (gee, that describes any anime character you could name, huh? -QOS)

"What does your mother look like?" Shippo asked. "I'll bet she's pretty."

For being such a big suck up, he got scooped into Yuki's arms and carried over to the kitchen counter where her purse sat. She dug into it and pulled out her wallet, which she brought back to the couch. Still holding Shippo, she opened the wallet and held it so Inu Yasha could see what was inside, too. "This is my family," she bragged, pointing to the most lifelike little painting either demon had ever seen. And what was that shiny stuff over it? Yuki pointed to each person and named them: "This is my dad and that's my mom. You already met Kei. And this is my older brother Shunusuke. He's in his second year at University. Um, that's a kind of school. What are you doing?"

Inu Yasha and Shippo were each rubbing a finger over the plastic sleeve that held her family picture. When Inu Yasha tried scratching it, he got his hand slapped. "Stop that! You'll tear it. It's called plastic, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what it's made of."

"That's the best painting I've ever seen," Shippo sighed admiringly.

Yuki giggled. "That's not a painting, it's a photograph. It's made with a machine—"

"Another damn machine!" Inu Yasha snorted. "Don't you people do anything for yourselves?"

"Well, why should we paint a picture when a camera can make one in seconds?" Yuki shot back. "And why should we have to wait for winter and go out to some lake and whack up the ice, when that machine makes it for us all the time? Why heat bath water over a fire when it comes out of the faucet that way?" She put Shippo down and got up to put away her wallet. "It's convenience, Dog Boy. Why do something the long, tedious, unreliable, hard way when you can do it the easy, reliable way?"

They scratched their heads but decided she had a point. Anyway, not all of the machines were noisy and obnoxious. Kagome's bicycle was a good example: It was a machine but it still needed a human to make it go. Unlike Yuki's car or the toilet. He looked around the room at all the cushy gaijin furniture that ironically was covered with Japanese motifs: Carp on the chairs across from them, stripes on the couch in the same colors as the cloth on the chairs. The table looked like a regular dining table to him, though the one in the kitchen was too tall and had chairs around it. Kagome's bed looked like the ones in his and Yuki's rooms, so those were at least somewhat familiar, though he never expected them to be so…bouncy.

He soon found his mind going back down the romance-with-Kagome trail, as he wondered if her bed was as springy as the one he and Shippo were supposed to share. That lead him to imagine what Kagome must look like as she slept peacefully in her bed, snuggled under her familiar blankets, her head on that big, fluffy white pillow…her hair spread over it like a dark cloud…her lips softly parted…her breasts gently rising and falling with her breathing…

"Better call a carpenter," Yuki snickered, "we've got wood!"

"Wha-?" Inu Yasha blinked out of his reverie to find his companions having a really good laugh at his expense. "What are you assholes laughing at?!" Then he felt it and looked down. "Shit!" He jumped up and stalked off to his room and slammed the door behind him. "You are the most vulgar woman I've ever met!" He shouted to Yuki from behind the door.

Yuki chortled: "Shunusuke uses the bathroom for that, you cretin!"

"FOR WHAT?!" He screamed back.

Shippo and Yuki were too far gone with laughter to answer him, so Inu Yasha threw open the door and stomped back out to hover behind them. "Uses the bathroom for what, bitch?"

By way of reply, Yuki made a suggestive motion with her hand that sent Shippo cackling straight off the couch and onto the floor. Inu Yasha fumed for a few moments, then grabbed her shoulders and hoisted her over the back of the couch and dragged her into the bathroom, where he dumped her into the bathtub and twisted the hot water knob. Yuki just barely managed to scramble out of the tub before the scalding water hit her skin.

"You stupid jerk!" She screamed in his face as she shoved him into the wall across from the sink. "You could've burned me! It was just a joke!"

"You don't make fun of a man like that!" He retorted with fire in his golden eyes.

Yuki gave him a saucy grin. "Who's making fun?" She leaned against him and used his sidelocks to pull his face down to her level to steal a kiss.

What she got was his fist in her stomach. Not hard enough to actually wind her, but enough to startle her so he could free himself from her grasp and get behind her. She spun about, ready for action, but he just jabbed a finger in her face and growled: "You are not a nice girl. I'm gonna go find Kagome now."

"Better do something about that first," Yuki snarled back and pointed at his shorts. There was nothing going on down there anymore, but she wanted the satisfaction of making him get all embarrassed and look. "Don't want Kagome to think that's all you're after, now do we?"

He turned on his heel and almost tripped over a very shocked Shippo on the way out the door. The kitsune gulped at Yuki, then trotted after his friend, who was headed for the front door. "Uh, Inu Yasha, don't you think we should—"

Inu Yasha picked him up and tossed him onto the couch as he passed it. "I'm going to find Kagome. If she won't at least talk to me, I'm giving the slut—" he pointed over his shoulder to the bathroom and Yuki "—her clothes back and we're going home." He turned on his way out to give Yuki a dirty look as she emerged from the bathroom, red in the face and looking like she was about to cry. Puzzling. Why was she crying? That woman couldn't possibly be feeling shame. "Slut," he muttered, then left the condo en route to the Green Mermaid, his brain racing faster than Yuki's car.

He'd never met such an obscene girl! She was nothing like Kagome. Kagome was sweet and sort of shy, especially when he complimented her on something. She would get a cute, little blush on her cheeks, her eyelids would flutter and she'd look away. He could see her fingers coming up to touch her lips as she stumbled over how to reply. And she'd never kick him down there, or make fun of a perfectly natural male reaction—she'd blush and pretend she didn't see anything. Inu Yasha smiled a little as he walked, his mind so wrapped around Kagome that he didn't realized he'd been heading beachward until he stood at the tide's edge.

All at once, the ocean's salty scent filled his nostrils, and Inu Yasha closed his eyes to drink it in and let it clear his mind of the memory of Yuki's assault. He didn't want to kiss her, pretty as she was. No, she was more than just pretty, but her aggressiveness spoiled her looks completely. Except…why had she been crying? He shook his head and turned toward the Green Mermaid, which he could just see as something big and green farther down the beach. There were people on the beach, building things with sand, or playing in the surf. Inu Yasha breathed a lonely sigh: Most of them would have to be couples, wouldn't they? Normal, happy, human couples. No dog-eared half-demons with wolf eyes. That reminded him to get his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket and put them on before anybody saw him. What would Kagome think of him dressed like he was? Was Yuki right? Did Kagome prefer the sort of (girlie, yuck) clothes Yuki had tried to make him try on, or did she know him well enough to understand that these clothes suited his personality. He refused to fake anything with Kagome (except for those feelings he just couldn't bring himself to admit to having).

Inu Yasha passed a boy and girl who were about Yuki's age and looked away when they kissed. In a moment, they ran off, hand-in-hand and laughing happily. He tried to imagine the couple was him and Kagome, then shook the idea out of his head. Why would she want to do that stuff with him if she didn't even want him here? "What am I doing here?" He moaned. "Kagome's right: I am a jerk."

A girl's scream snapped him out of his puddle of self-pity, all senses keyed for combat. He looked frantically around for the source of the scream, then it came again from the direction in which the happy couple had gone. It was them! The girl was in the sand surrounded by three tough-looking young men who were dressed a lot like he was, only without the jacket. Two of the boys were holding her boyfriend while another beat him up.

"I told you, baka," the bully sneered to his victim between punches, "Karami is my girl! When are ya gonna learn?"

The girl screamed with every punch and begged the bully to stop. He just grinned at her over his shoulder, then nodded to his buddies. "Ok, boys, why don't you show 'Rami what happens to Tachi's girls when they get out of line."

She screamed again as one of the guys dropped to his knees beside her and took hold of her blouse, while another grabbed her shorts and tugged. That's when the cavalry arrived.

"Leave her alone, assholes!"

Faster than they could react, he plucked the gangsters off of Karami and tossed them aside, then he turned to the leader and cracked his knuckles at him with a truly evil grin. "Wanna play, little boy?" Without waiting for a reply, Inu Yasha slugged him, then the guys holding Karami's boyfriend—Bam! Bam! Bam! And down they went with bloody noses and bleeding lips. The other three guys were on their feet again and rushed him en masse, but Inu Yasha took them out with a single roundhouse kick. He danced back, fists ready, and waited for them to get up and attack again. Ah! Violence! Just what he needed to work off all that…er…manly energy. They circled around him, wiping the blood from their faces, looking for a weakness.

"Get her out of here," he ordered Karami's boyfriend, who really wasn't in any condition to get himself out of there, much less take his girl with him. But he staggered over to her and was able to help her up. Leaning on each other for support, they retreated a few dozens meters down the beach, then he collapsed. "Alright. Far enough," Inu Yasha thought sourly and turned his full attention to his favorite hobby: kicking ass. "What's the matter, Tachi-kun," he mocked the leader, whose nose was quite definitely broken, "did I mess up that ugly face of yours? Awww, ain't that a shame?"

Tachi didn't take the bait. Well, not for himself, anyway. "Well, what are you assholes waiting for? Get him!"

Inu Yasha waited until the circle had almost closed around him, then he flipped up and over their heads and kicked the nearest guy in the back of the head, spun him around and pummeled him with a series of sharp punches all over his body. The boy wobbled, cursed him, then fell flat on his face in the sand. "Who's next?" Inu Yasha crowed cheerfully as the remaining five turned to face him. "What the hell! I'll come to you!" He charged them, laying them out one by one until it was just him and Tachi.

Inu Yasha grinned and beckoned the bully closer with mocking fingers. Tachi made as if to attack, then turned tail and ran, straight past Karami and her boyfriend, headed in the direction of the Green Mermaid. Inu Yasha strode over to squat next to the formerly happy couple he'd so envied only minutes before. "Are you o—"

The rest of his sentence was lost as Karami bowled him over with a grateful hug and sobbed onto his shoulder. "I thought we were dead!"

Her boyfriend sat up and checked his ribs for broken ones. He gave Inu Yasha a pained smile. "Thanks, man, I owe you one. I'm Keiichi Hitachi."

Inu Yasha disentangled himself from Karami long enough to reply: "Inu Yasha."

Keiichi gave him an odd look, then nodded knowingly. "Oh, right. Well then, they call me the Shark." Inu Yasha looked over Keiichi's injuries meaningfully, and the other boy chuckled. "Not that kind of a shark. A gambling shark—you know, like a card shark. Never lost a game." He got to his feet with Karami's help and asked with a companionable smile: "Do you play cards, Inu Yasha?"

Inu Yasha shook his head. "No. You sure you're ok?"

Keiichi shrugged and joked: "Who said anything about being 'ok'? I just got the shit beat out of me by Karami's ex-boyfriend, and she almost got raped. But, thanks to you, our big, hairy knight in leather armor, I do believe we'll live." He made a small, painful bow and grimaced. "I think something's broken in there. Well, doesn't that just put a crimp in our plans for the evening, Rami-chan?"

She wept profusely. "Keiichi, we really should get you to a doctor." She tried to smile through her tears and bowed to Inu Yasha. "Thanks again, Inu Yasha."

"If there's anything I can do for you," said Keiichi, "name it. I'm staying at the Green Mermaid, room 475." He gasped as Karami turned him in the direction of the hotel.

Inu Yasha hastened to stop them. "I'm staying there," he pointed back to Yuki's condo, which was just visible through the trees beyond the beachhead and was a lot closer than the Green Mermaid. "Yuki can take you to the doctor in her car." Without waiting for an answer, he lifted Keiichi's free arm over his shoulder and helped Karami turn him in the direction of Yuki's condo.

As they stepped around Tachi's unconscious lackeys, Keiichi shook his head with a soft chuckle. "That's two I owe you, friend. And damn you for putting me into Yuki Asano's debt again." From the tone of his voice, Inu Yasha didn't think he sounded too disappointed about that.


	4. Chapter 4

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Four

Kagome's first breakfast at the Green Mermaid brought rumors with an alarmingly familiar ring to them. As she sat on the big porch that wrapped around the back side of the hotel overlooking the beach, Kagome ate chilled fruit, sipped tea and eavesdropped on the conversation at a nearby table.

"I heard he was gorgeous!"

"And brave!"

"He totally kicked Tachi's butt!" The girl sighed dreamily. "He was dressed like a punk but he rescued Karami and Keiichi—she almost got raped by Tachi's gang! But then this gorgeous guy with long, white hair charged in with all these cool martial arts moves! Like Jackie Chan, or something!"

Long, white hair? Kagome thought with a cold lump in her throat. No…it couldn't be him…

The girl continued to gush to her friend about the brave, Jackie Chan-like hero who'd rescued Karami and Keiichi (whoever they were) the night before. Kagome turned and asked: "Did he have, um, golden eyes?"

The girl blinked at her. "Um, no…he was wearing sunglasses. Why?"

"Dog ears?" Kagome made a motion on top of her head as if she was rubbing the tips of Inu Yasha furry ears.

The girl and her friend gave her a strange look. "He had a bandanna on his head, I think."

"But, he had long, white hair, right?"

They nodded.

Kagome stood up and held her hand about a head over her own. "About so tall?"

Nods.

"Kind of lean, but really strong?"

More nods.

"Kimono?"

They shook their head. Gushy girl sighed again and got a really dreamy look in her eyes. "No way! He was too cool! He had this great leather jacket and boots and a Harley shirt."

Kagome smiled and nodded and went back to her breakfast. "Who's this Tachi guy?" She asked them over a mouthful of fruit. They sidled up to her table, eager to share the gossip. Hm, Kagome thought, Junior High school, but younger than she was. Easily impressed. Of course, Inu Yasha in bad guy butt kicking mode could be pretty impressive to anybody, even her—used to his violent nature as she was.

One of the girls (not the gushy one) explained in a hushed voice, as if Tachi had ears everywhere. "He's the leader of the meanest motorcycle gang on the beach! Anybody gets in his way—" she made a cutting motion across her neck, and Kagome gulped.

"I heard he even killed a boy once!" Gushy girl added in a trembling voice.

"So," Kagome asked in the same low voice they were using and leaned in closer to the other girls, "does anybody know who the hero guy is?"

They shook their heads. "Nobody's ever seen him around here before!" Gushy girl said. "He wouldn't even give his real name!"

Kagome's stomach clenched as she had a nasty premonition. "What name did he give?"

"Something about a demon—"

"A demon dog!" Gushy girl nodded. "Inu—"

"—Yasha." Kagome suddenly lost her appetite. Inu Yasha was here, at the beach, going about his usual business of kicking bad guy butt. Well, that last part wasn't so bad, especially if what these girls said about that Karami girl almost getting raped was true. But where'd he get those clothes? And the sunglasses and bandanna to hide his attributes? No one in her family would've done it—and nobody from the past would have the right kind of money or know-how to do it.

Gushy girl grabbed Kagome's hand to get her attention. "You know him?!"

"Uh…well, I've, um, heard the name before," Kagome stammered, "I think. Ha-ha! Well, you did say 'dog demon', right?" Geez, if these girls thought she knew Inu Yasha, she'd never be rid of them!

The girl let go with a disappointed sigh. "Oh yeah," then she went back into hero-worshipping mode. "He was so gorgeous…"

"Gorgeous?" Kagome thought skeptically. Inu Yasha was cute…sometimes…but gorgeous? Yeesh! Well, these girls were pretty young, after all. "Wait. You actually witnessed this fight?!"

Gushy girl nodded, still off in la-la land. "I was on the beach, kind of far away, but close enough to see the action! He moved like…*sigh* And he has a great butt!"

"And he was so brave!" Gushy girl's friend added in an equally far away voice. "Rescuing a damsel in distress from an evil gang of rapists!"

"Great butt'? Does your mother know you're looking at boys' butts?" Kagome frowned. Both girls blushed and giggled. "Any idea where he's staying?"

"Well, I heard he's staying with Yuki Asano," Gushy girl replied in a defeated tone.

"Which means," the other girl sighed, "he's probably her new boyfriend, or something."

"Which means," Gushy girl said, "hands off."

Kagome smacked her forehead. Yuki Asano. Of course! Her little brother Kei was friends with Sota. Inu Yasha probably came to the shrine to look for her, and Sota volunteered to help him out by hooking him up with Yuki, whose family had their own condominium right down the beach from the Green Mermaid. But if it was Inu Yasha and he was staying that close by, why hadn't he come to find her yet? A twinge of jealously pinched Kagome's heart: Yuki was the most popular girl in her school, especially with the boys, who fell all over themselves like a bunch of morons every time she so much as looked at them. And she was an older girl, in high school, whereas Kagome was still in Junior High. Yuki had money, brains, looks, popularity, everything. "Hm!" Kagome thought sourly, "I'll bet she bought him those clothes and brought him down here for fun!" Yuki Asano wasn't in the habit of spending her daddy's money out of the goodness of her heart—there was always payback, and if Yuki found Inu Yasha as "gorgeous" (oh, brother) as these girls did, Kagome's imagination didn't have to wander far to figure out what Yuki would want as payment for her generosity. Hmph! That girl was a regular Nabiki Tendo! Well, if she made those kinds of demands on Inu Yasha and thought she could get away with it, boy was she in for a surprise! "Ha! I can just see it now…She'll get all dressed up in something sexy and think he'll just fall all over himself for her, like all those human boys do!"

* * *

_(KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE)___

_ Yuki, in a slinky negligée, drapes herself around Inu Yasha's neck as he emerges from the bath wearing nothing but a towel: "C'mon Inu Yasha, pay up!" ___

_ Inu Yasha picks her off of him and stalks away with his usual arrogance: "Keep dreaming, bitch!" ___

_ She chases after him, grabs the towel and pulls it off his lean, muscular great butt: "No! You can't leave! You're mine, Inu Yasha!"___

_ Just then, Kagome shows up! She pulls a giant mallet out of her shirt and flattens that sex-crazed trollop with a single blow! "Take that, Senpai!" ___

_ "Kagome!"___

_ "Inu Yasha!"___

_ They fly into each others' arms and—___

_ (END KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE)  
_

* * *

Tug, tug. "Um, hello?"

"Eh?" Kagome turned around to find her informants tugging at her sleeve, apparently having been trying to get her attention for some time. "Oh, uh, what did you say?"

"Well, you sort of acted like you know this Inu Yasha," the tamest of the pair replied, "so maybe you should go to Yuki's and see if it's really him!"

Gushy girl shook Kagome's arm and, well, gushed: "Then you could introduce us!"

Her friend bonked her on the head to bring her back down to earth. "Get real."

Undeterred (or still in outer space), gushy girl nibbled her fingernail and mused: "Maybe he'll come to the Mermaid Ball Friday night. *sigh* I'll bet he's just fabulous in a tuxedo…"

Her friend sighed with her. "All men look fabulous in tuxedos!"

"Oh, gimme a break!" Kagome chugged the rest of her tea and munched down the last of her fruit before bidding the starry-eyed girls adieu and heading back to her room. "If it is him," she growled, "he is so dead for following me here! But…" Hmm…a tuxedo…

* * *

_(KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE #2)___

_ Inu Yasha in top hat and tails is swirling across the dance floor with Yuki Asano, who's in that slutty red dress Rhett Butler made Scarlett O'Hara wear to embarrass her in front of Atlanta society. Just as he dips her, his eyes go beyond hers to the vision of loveliness which stands poised like the fabled unicorn atop the grand, marble stairs leading to the dance floor. She's in a gown that appears to have been woven of starlight, her glorious dark hair caught up in a glittering crystal comb and teardrop pearls hang from her perfect earlobes. She takes a step, her feet in shining glass slippers, not certain where to go next. ___

_ Inu Yasha drops Yuki onto the floor like the trash she is and dashes up the stairs in three graceful leaps. He elegantly presses the beautiful Kagome's delicate hand to his lips, looks into her big, dewy eyes and says: "I saw that in 'Titanic' and I've always wanted to do it."___

_ Kagome blushes, her smile dazzles him as he leads her to the dance floor and motions for the band to resume the waltz. And they twirl and laugh and—___

_ (END OF KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE #2)  
_

* * *

"What did they put in that fruit, anyway?" She got into the elevator and hit the button for the fifth floor, trying very hard not to enjoy her latest daydream. Was Inu Yasha "gorgeous"? Kagome closed her eyes and remembered him the way she'd seen him last: Faced off with her across the well, trying once again to keep her from going back to her time. He was so mad, too, that she wanted to spend her summer vacation with her 20th century friends and not with him. She saw his eyes looking into hers again. "He was really hurt," Kagome whispered to herself guiltily. "I wonder if he wanted me to stay because he had plans for us…something fun or—" Kagome caught her breath, her thoughts unable to handle the concepts of Inu Yasha and romantic at the same time. But what if he had planned something nice? Maybe with Kaede's help, or Myouga's. A picnic, perhaps, or a nice walk by a pretty pond.

* * *

_(KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE #3)___

_ Inu Yasha and Kagome walk beside a clear, blue pond, with wildflowers in bloom all around. Birds sing in the willows that grow around the water. Inu Yasha sits her down beneath a willow tree and presents her with a bouquet of fresh-picked flowers. She blushes her delight and rewards him with a—___

_ (END OF KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE #3)  
_

* * *

"Gah!" Kagome shook that image out of her mind. "Oh, like Inu Yasha would ever give a girl flowers! Wake up, Higurashi!"

The elevator doors opened, and Kagome went to her room to change into her bathing suit. She checked her watch. "Oh no! I'm late!" She was supposed to meet Rei on the beach ten minutes ago. Oh well, it was their summer holiday, after all—no schedules, no tests, no teachers breathing down their necks, no demons trying to steal the Shikon Jewel shards from her! So there was a biker gang in these parts…and Inu Yasha was here… Big deal! Inu Yasha was keeping the biker gang in check, so everybody could have a nice vacation without worrying about a bunch of rapists running loose. "I knew he was good for something!"

Meanwhile back at Yuki's condo, Keiichi was hiding out from Tachi and his gang after spending most of the night in the hospital. Yuki put him and Karami in her room and would've slept on the couch, but Shippo would hear nothing of it and insisted she have his and Inu Yasha's bed, since they were used to sleeping on the ground—er, floor. Actually, Inu Yasha took the couch and Shippo curled up in one of the chairs, hidden under a blanket, so he wouldn't have to keep up his human disguise while he slept. "Hey! Inu Yasha!"

"Hey, what?" Inu Yasha grumbled. He'd spent most of the night guarding Yuki's place until she returned, just in case Tachi had seen where he'd taken Keiichi and Karami after the fight and came back for revenge. Fortunately: No Tachi, unfortunately: No sleep, either. He pulled the blanket down and got a sunbeam right in the eye. With an angry snarl, he threw the blanket off and sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What do you want, fox?"

Shippo changed into his human disguise, just in case Karami decided to wander in, and regarded his friend thoughtfully across the coffee table. "That was a good thing you did last night, Inu Yasha," he told the other demon in a voice that headed off any snide remark Inu Yasha had planned. "Kagome would be really proud of you for saving those people."

Groan. Inu Yasha yawned, showing his mouthful of sharp canines and his long fangs, stretched his arms across the back of the couch and leaned his head back. "I feel like shit."

"You look like shit," Shippo quipped.

Inu Yasha didn't even have the energy to hit him for it, so he just closed his eyes and started to doze again. "My ears hurt, Shippo. Is anybody around?"

"No, but—"

Inu Yasha hauled himself up and staggered off in the direction of the bath. Shippo slunk after him, but was stopped at the door. "I bathe alone, Shippo."

The kitsune grinned. "Or with Kagome—EEK! Ow!" He was so busy rubbing his head that he didn't remember to step back before Inu Yasha shut the door, so he took the wood right in the face. "Thad wuz uncalled for, Inu Yazza!"

Inu Yasha ignored him and ran the bath water just like Yuki has showed him the day before, even remembering to put the cork in the drain before starting the water. A sudden dreadful vision of Yuki barging in on him sent him on a frantic search for a lock on any of the doors between the bath and the rest of the house. Finding none, he resigned himself to remain alert for any noise of intrusion. While the tub filled, Inu Yasha decided to try out that tooth brushing concept that Yuki insisted was such an important part of good hygiene. Well, he cleaned his teeth in his time, too, but he did it with a newly stripped branch, not a brush with minty goo on it. Oh well, live and learn. He put a little of the paste on the brush and went to work. Nauseating stuff! But it explained why Kagome's breath always smelled like mint. He rinsed his mouth, then ran his tongue over his teeth, wondering if that was how Kagome's mouth tasted, too. And now for the toilet. Assuming the position had the unfortunate effect of causing an image of Yuki imitating it to spring into his mind. Inu Yasha made a sour face and tried to think of something else.

What was Kagome doing now, he wondered as he took care of business? Probably having a nice breakfast with her friends, or maybe having an early morning stroll on the beach where all those cute guys could see her wearing that tight, little outfit she bathed in. The one that was like a second skin. He went into the little room outside the bath and pulled off his shorts and loincl—er, underwear (that's what Yuki had called it, right?) and tossed them into the basket by the wall, which was where Yuki had told him to put his dirty clothes. His efforts to get the blood out of his clothes had failed, but Yuki was sure she could get them out in something called "the laundry". Probably another machine, he thought. Inu Yasha took off his bandanna, too, then realized with dismay that he didn't have another one handy. Well…he could always wrap a towel around his head and say he was drying his hair. It was a sissy way out, but Keiichi and Karami absolutely could not know the truth. Fix 'em up and send 'em back to their own residence as soon as possible, none the wiser.

Inu Yasha grunted his pleasure as he rubbed the kinks out of his ears. He pulled one of the stools over by the tub, selected a wash rag and a bar of soap that smelled manly to him, wet both and started scrubbing. He still smelled like blood and sweat and- "How'd I get sand in my ass?" (Or, more importantly, how would he get the sand out of his ass?) Inu Yasha rinsed off the soap, rubbed a bar through his hair until it worked up a really good lather, then rinsed that, too, only belatedly remembering he was supposed to use a different kind of soap for that. He debated washing his hair over again with the proper soap, fearful that the all-knowing, all-seeing Yuki would know just by looking at his hair that he'd used body soap on it, then decided he'd better bloody do it over. No wonder it took Kagome forever to get going in the morning!

At last, he slipped into the nice, hot bath with a well-earned sigh of euphoria, closed his eyes and thought about Kagome.

* * *

_(INU YASHA DREAM SEQUENCE)___

_ Kagome runs through the sand wearing her tiny, flower print bathing suit, her dark hair streaming out behind her. Every boy on the beach watches her, but she only has eyes for…___

_ "Inu Yasha!"___

_ He's looking cool in his black swim trunks, his muscles all oiled up against the sun's damaging rays (SPF 15, at least, just like the ad in the store said) and rippling with every incredibly manly move he made. She flies into his arms, and the other guys on the beach groan their disappointment. But they don't dare challenge the mighty Inu Yasha! Gallant hero, rescuer of damsels in distress, admired by men, loved by women, feared by bad guys of any race! ___

_ Then Yuki appears in that bikini thing she bought at the mall! She tries to get between him and Kagome, but Inu Yasha flicks her aside with one sweep of his powerful arm! ___

_ "Oh, Inu Yasha!" Kagome sighs with admiration. "You're so brave and strong! I'm so glad you came here to find me, since I'd be so helpless if you weren't here!" ___

_ (END OF INU YASHA DREAM SEQUENCE)  
_

* * *

BAM! BAM! BAM! "Hey, other people gotta use the bathroom, too, Inu Yasha!"

"Shut up, Shippo!"

BAM! BAM! BAM! "Don't tell him to shut up! Either get out of the tub now, or we're coming in!"

Inu Yasha jumped out of the bath, wrapped a towel around his hips, draped another over his head and hurried to open the bathroom door. Damn that woman! So much for privacy. Beyond the door wasn't just Shippo and Yuki, but Karami and Keiichi lined up to use the bathroom, as well. Inu Yasha ducked his head. "Um, I must've fallen asleep in the bath tub. *ahem*" He pushed past the others and retreated to his room, feeling Yuki's appraising eyes burning into his back until he could get the bedroom door between him and them. He jumped when a quiet knock came at his door, and Yuki's mocking voice said:  
"Inu Yasha, may I be the first to tell you: You have a totally killer ass."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Oh, never mind, considering the source, he had a really good idea what that was supposed to mean.

She giggled. "You're so naïve, it's cute!"

"I AM NOT NAÏVE!"

Giggle.

Inu Yasha took the towel from around his hips and dried himself with it, perhaps a little more vigorously than was necessary. He caught a glimpse of his backside in the mirror and paused to check it out in spite of himself. "So it's a butt. What's the big deal?" And yet, he continued to examine his physique in the full length mirror, since this was the first time he'd ever seen all of himself at once. "Huh. Not bad." He flexed his back muscles, then his biceps, then his pects, then did a few lunges to check out the tone of his legs. All in all, Inu Yasha decided with no little amount of conceit, he was one fine hunk of half-demon. No wonder Yuki was all over him.

Suddenly his shoulders drooped. But not Kagome. Feeling sheepish after his moment of narcissism, Inu Yasha got dressed in his swim trunks and a T-shirt, then sat on the edge of the bed to brush out his hair. He wrapped a black bandanna around his skull and tied his hair about midway down his back with a leather thong (a nice, butchy touch, he thought), then put on his shades so he could face the human world. He headed for the kitchen before remembering that Yuki hadn't done that grocery shopping she'd promised to do last night. Well, it wasn't like she'd had the chance with everything that had happened. But he peeked into the fridge anyway, proving that this behavior is universal, even when one doesn't have refrigerators in one's time. Nothing. So he settled for a glass of ice water until Yuki solved the food problem. He pushed open the sliding glass doors and stepped out onto the porch to enjoy the ocean breezes and the sunshine (and ignore the rumbling in his tummy). He could see the ocean sparkling between the trees, and through a larger clear space to his right, a good stretch of beach on which frolicked many scantily clad females and what must be the "cute guys" Yuki was so sure would sweep Kagome off her feet. Huh. They weren't so great. None of them had his muscle (Inu Yasha flexed his forearm to prove it to himself), and he was willing to bet they'd all run screaming from a guy like Tachi and his thugs.

Ah, speaking of which, there was the cowardly little bully now, walking around the scene of his ass-kicking. Inu Yasha ducked back into the house before the guy could look up and see him (had he already?). Shit. "Yuki!" He called as he shut the doors and locked them. "Yuki!"

The tone of his voice, brought her and Shippo running. "What is it?" She demanded. By way of response, Inu Yasha brought her to the doors and pointed at Tachi. Yuki pulled him back with a curse. "Did he see you?"

"I don't know," Inu Yasha told her, still watching his enemy. "I wasn't standing out there very long, though." What was he doing? Inu Yasha watched Tachi for a few more seconds, then got it. "He's following our tracks from last night. Look."

Yuki and Shippo looked. He was right: Tachi was following some kind of trail that led from the beach toward her house. "This is bad," Yuki muttered and ran for the phone. "I'm calling the police!"

"Don't!"

She paused, then put the phone down on its cradle. Keiichi leaned against the wall outside his bedroom. Karami appeared and helped him onto the sofa. "Don't involve the cops, Asano. I don't think your friend, here, wants too many questions."

Inu Yasha's heart thumped and he narrowed his eyes at Keiichi. "What do you mean?" He exchanged a quick, worried look with Shippo, then Yuki. "Why wouldn't I want questions?"

Keiichi held up a hand and smiled. "Don't worry. I'm on your side, remember? You saved our lives," he pointed to himself then Karami, "so we owe you."

"Your point, Hitachi?" Yuki prodded suspiciously.

Keiichi shrugged, then winced at the pain that caused. "I saw your eyes as you came out of the bathroom. And," he patted the top of his head, "something was propping up that towel—and I don't think it was your hair."

Inu Yasha clenched his fists and divided his attention between Keiichi who might not be a threat in spite of his clever powers of deduction and Tachi who definitely was a threat and was getting closer to the house. At least he was alone. "Ok, what are you gonna do about it?"

Keiichi looked puzzled. "I'm not sure I understand you. If you think I'll tell the world you really are an inu-yasha, think again, friend. You saved my life, but even if you hadn't, I wouldn't give you away to the likes of Tachimora." He gave Inu Yasha a lopsided smile and added: "Or the likes of anybody else, for that matter. May I assume Yuki and your friend, here, already know?"

Inu Yasha hesitated a moment more, then nodded. "Shippo," he said, "show him."

"Uh…"

"If I can't hide, neither can you!" Inu Yasha shouted back. "Now drop the disguise!"

Shippo obeyed. Where before there had been a perfectly ordinary looking teenage boy there now stood a small kitsune boy in kimono, fur wrap and big, bushy tail. He got the usual reaction from Karami, who squealed and begged to hold him. Shippo rolled his eyes and hopped into her lap to have his tail played with.

"So how do a couple of youkai get hooked up with Asano?" Keiichi wondered. "Is this some new deal you've got going, my dear?"

Yuki shrugged and started to reply, but Inu Yasha cut her off with a hasty wave of his hand. "He's headed for the door," he hissed, jabbing a thumb in that direction. "We gotta get Keiichi out of here!" Inu Yasha put action to words and scooped Keiichi into his arms and carried him to his room as if he was no heavier than a sack of rice. Karami followed, and Inu Yasha closed the door on them.

"Shippo," he commanded, "put on a tough guy disguise. Now."

The kitsune put a leaf on his head, closed his eyes and spoke a brief incantation. When it was through, he stood about a head taller than Inu Yasha, was twice as broad at the shoulder and had a nice assortment of battle scars and missing teeth. He was also wearing lots of leather and chains. "How's this?" He asked in the ballsiest voice either Inu Yasha or Yuki had ever heard.

They blinked at him. "That's perfect, Shippo," Yuki stammered. Oh to have kitsune powers so she could transform herself into anything she wished. Not that she'd transform herself into the power-thug she saw before her…

"Maybe he's just sniffing around…" Shippo thunder-whispered. Yuki fought down a giggle. He was so over-the-top it was funny.

Inu Yasha waved them to silence. "Yuki, get back in the bedroom with the others. Shippo and I are gonna teach Tachi a lesson about coming around where he's not wanted. C'mon, Shippo." He waited until Yuki was out of site, then opened the door and he and Shippo stepped out onto the landing just in time to meet Tachi coming up the stairs from the beach.

He saw Inu Yasha and froze. Just for effect, Shippo asked Inu Yasha: "We gonna kick some ass today, Brother? 'Cause I'm real pissed that you left me out of the fun last night."

Inu Yasha cracked his knuckles. "I said I'm sorry about that, Brother, but it just sort of happened." He gave Tachi a tight-lipped grin. The man was already backing down the stairs. "Anyway, he's all alone this time—"

"Yeah," Shippo interrupted with a snort, "that ain't no fun. But he came all this way, didn't he? Must want something."

Inu Yasha continued to crack his knuckles as he matched Tachi step for step. "I think we should give him something, Brother," he sneered, "since he came all this way to see us."

Shippo chuckled and cracked his knuckles, since Inu Yasha doing that always had such a great effect on bad guys. "He looks hungry, Brother. Why don't we give him a knuckle sandwich?"

"Heh. What a thoughtful idea, Brother! Allow me." Inu Yasha closed the distance between himself and Tachi with a single leap and planted his fist right in the bully's mouth. "Yummy?" Inu Yasha nodded; Tachi shook his head with terror in his eyes. "Want another?" Tachi shook his head even more vehemently. "But you don't look full, Tachi-kun." Inu Yasha withdrew his fist, pulled back, and planted it in the other boy's stomach, sending him sailing end over end down the stairs to land head first in the sand. He got up, shook the sand out of his hair, made an obscene gesture, then threatened to return with lots of guys, and ran like his life depended upon it (which it probably did).

Shippo clapped a meathook of a hand onto Inu Yasha's shoulder and beamed: "I thought that went pretty well, didn't you, Brother?"

"Yeah," Inu Yasha agreed, "but it's gonna get real old, real fast."

"Omigosh!" Rei elbowed Kagome, who took off her sunglasses to look where her friend was pointing. "That's him! That's that Tachi guy!"

"He looks scared," Kagome observed as the man in question shot past their beach blankets like a rocket. The girls spat and wiped sand off their faces. "What a jerk!"

Rei put her shades back on. "I can't believe everybody's so afraid of that guy."

"Well, he's supposed to have a gang, isn't he?" Kagome asked as she put her sunglasses back on, too, and resumed tanning her back. "Maybe they're scary."

Her friend grinned. "Not to Inu Yasha," she sighed in that same dreamy voice the younger girls had used earlier. "I wonder if we'll see him, or if he was just passing through, saw what was happening and came to Karami's rescue."

Oh, he's not just passing through, Kagome thought dryly, not if it was her Inu Yasha and not just someone who matched his description and went by his name. Who was she kidding? It had to be him. He was the only person she knew who enjoyed a fist fight that much. She tilted her shades down her nose and looked over the top of them at Yuki Asano's condo, which she could just see through the trees down the beach. At least, those girls had said that was the Asano condominium. Could he see her from there with his superior youkai vision? And if he could, why didn't he come to her? Surely she was the whole reason he was doing this! Hmph! And there was no way Inu Yasha was hiding from that stupid Tachi weasel. Inu Yasha didn't hide from anybody!

"Did you see the fight, Rei?" Kagome asked after a while.

"Some of it. He was awesome, Kagome!" Rei proceeded to go on and on about Inu Yasha's looks ("he's so hot"), his style ("he could kick Jackie Chan's ass"), and his butt ("like a rock").

"Are you saying you touched his rock-like butt?" Kagome joked, then told her friend what the other girls had told her. She left out the butt part, however, since Rei was already sold on that part of Inu Yasha's anatomy, and Kagome really didn't want to go there again. The worst part about it was Kagome knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from checking out his butt the next time she saw him. The girls said he'd been wearing leather. Hm. Leather. That Yuki Asano was one kinky chick to dress Inu Yasha up in leather! Ooh! That tramp was gonna pay big time! How was he supposed to know what was fashionable. Oh, wait a minute: Since when did Inu Yasha care about fashion? Oy. What if he'd picked out the leather all by himself?

* * *

_(KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE #4)___

_ Inu Yasha rides up to the front entrance of the Green Mermaid on a great big, noisy American motorcycle. He's in black leather and shiny silver chains from head to foot. Dark shades cover his eyes, a leather cap covers his ears, and a pair of black leather gauntlets cover his claws. He revs the engine as Kagome emerges, dressed in a tight, black minidress, thigh-high black, leather, stiletto-heeled boots and fishnet stockings. She has death's head studs in her ears and a silver ring in her nose, and dark sunglasses over her eyes. She swings her leg over the seat and snuggles in behind him. He revs the engine again, and they blaze off into the sunset to go rumble with Tachi's gang.___

_ END OF KAGOME DREAM SEQUENCE #4)  
_

* * *

Kagome gave her Coke-a-Cola™ a suspicious look, then returned to her regularly scheduled sunbathing. Cute butt. Yeah, right.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

The crew at Yuki's condo were just polishing off the Chinese food Yuki had ordered in when the sound of a key in the front door sent Inu Yasha scrambling to put on his bandanna and sunglasses, and Shippo his teenage human disguise. They both were on their feet and ready for action just as the door opened and Yuki exclaimed:

"Shunusuke! What are you doing here?!" And flew into the arms of the handsome young man who was trying to get himself, his luggage and several bags of food through the door. He laughed and hugged her back, then ruffled her hair, much to her irritation. "I saw your note when I got home yesterday, but nobody answered the phone down here last night, so I figured you were having fun without me." He winked and pointed to the sacks of groceries behind him. "I also deduced that you wouldn't be able to shop while having fun, either, so…"

"He brought food?" Shippo grinned at the same time Inu Yasha asked: "Who's this?"

Shunusuke waved to Keiichi. "You look like hell, Hitachi," he joked, but his eyes were serious. "Piss off Tachimora again?"

"Inu Yasha, help us get this stuff inside," Yuki commanded, holding one of the bags up for him to take. Inu Yasha took that one, then another, keeping his eyes on the newcomer. Yuki sighed. "This is my big brother, Shunusuke. Shunusuke, this is Inu Yasha," she nodded at Shippo, "and his friend Shippo. That's Karami Nakamora, Keiichi's girlfriend."

While they got the food inside and put away, Yuki told her brother what had happened the night before. Then, to Inu Yasha's dismay, she told Shunusuke the truth about him and Shippo. "Go on, boys, show him," she ordered. When they hesitated, she insisted crossly: "He's my brother, dammit! You might need his help if Tachi brings his guys after you like he said he would!"

That pretty boy? Help them? Inu Yasha appraised Shunusuke Asano, noting the man's strong build and steady gaze as he lounged against the kitchen counter watching the demon watch him. He seemed like a well-fed cat watching a couple of mice run across the floor: He could catch them if he needed to but was content for now just to observe.

Shippo was the first to drop his disguise, eliciting only the barest twitch of surprise from Shunusuke. "Not bad," Inu Yasha thought, "he doesn't startle easily, but Shippo's not nearly the demon that I am." Much to Inu Yasha's disappointment (and irritation), Yuki's brother just raised a thoughtful brow at him when he revealed his demonic parts and grunted:

"Hm. I wondered where that chill in my spine was coming from." He turned to frown at his sister. "So how did you get hooked up with a couple of youkai?"

Inu Yasha exchanged a startled look with Shippo. This guy had sensed them? Ordinary humans usually couldn't beyond a vague sense of dread or getting goosebumps. Kagome was sensitive to them because of Kikyo's spirit within her and because she'd carried the Shikon Jewel in her body for so long. Who was this Shunusuke Asano guy that he could feel a youkai and be so completely unfazed at the sight of one? Had he encountered demons before? All of a sudden Inu Yasha realized Yuki was telling her brother about him and Kagome—and using a little too much poetic license.

"…but if he goes near her now, Tachi might hear about it," Yuki was saying, "realize Kagome's his lover—"

"—and go after her," Shunusuke finished in a grim tone. He looked to Inu Yasha, who was red in the face and sputtering something outraged at Yuki about him and Kagome not having that kind of relationship. The elder Asano chuckled: "Well, whatever she is to you, if Tachi even suspects there's any connection, she'll be a target."

Inu Yasha's heart clenched as the implications of that sunk in. The previous night's events replayed themselves in his mind, only with Kagome as the victim, not Karami. He could imagine the terror on her face, hear her screams, see the hungry greed in her attackers' faces. How could he go to her now? Or she to him? Shit! The only reason he was doing all of this was to be near her—but now his very presence would put her in danger! Inu Yasha slumped over to collapse onto one of the chairs by the couch and stare blankly at the carpet between his feet.

Shippo hopped up into his lap and chucked him on the chin with his knuckles. "Hey! You're Inu Yasha! Those guys can't hurt Kagome with you around! Right?"  
Inu Yasha sighed. "You want her to be in danger?"

"Well, no," the kitsune stammered, "that's not what I meant. I just meant, if she was in danger, you could—"

"Yeah," his friend cut him off and dumped him onto the floor as he got up to pace, "I know I can. I always do. But I don't want Kagome to—" he shot a guilty look at Karami, who sat on the couch next to Keiichi. He didn't need to finish the thought for the others in the room to know what he was thinking. He didn't want Kagome to end up like Karami. In his mind's eye he could see Karami's cuts and bruises on Kagome's face. No! It wouldn't happen! "Maybe I should just go home," Inu Yasha moaned.

"And let Tachimora and his boys have their way around here?" Keiichi snorted. He touched a hand to his ribs, then lay it on Karami's leg. "Look, I can't do what you did. If you hadn't come along last night, Rami and I would be in a lot worse condition than we are. You started something, Inu Yasha. If you don't stick around to finish it, Tachi'll finish us." He gave the demon a weak, lopsided smirk: "Or don't you care about that?"

Inu Yasha bared his fangs and snarled at him, getting a much more satisfying reaction from Keiichi than he'd gotten from Shunusuke. The Shark gulped and tried to make himself a little smaller against the couch cushions.

"He's right," Shunusuke said coolly, "you have to finish what you started, because Yusuke Tachimora will if you won't." Suddenly his face broke into a smug grin. "Don't worry, Inu Yasha, this is your lucky day! I, Shunusuke Asano, Kendo champion and Aikido Black Belt, have arrived!"

Inu Yasha's jaw dropped. "What in the hell is all that shit, and why should I care?!"

Shunusuke blinked at him in surprise for half a second, then nodded. "Ah. So demons don't know about Bushido or the martial arts. Interesting. Ok, where I went to school we had what's called a Kendo club—you know, fencing? Aikido is a martial art of the sort its name indicates: The way of harmony with universal energy." He favored the skeptical demon with an elegant bow.

Inu Yasha folded his arms looked disgusted. "Of course we know about Bushido and the martial arts," he sneered. "But I've never heard of any martial art called 'Ai-ki-do'. It sounds sissy. 'Harmony with universal energy'. Hmph!"

Before Shunusuke could reply to Inu Yasha condemnation of Aikido, Shippo asked: "So, you're a Samurai? Do people fight with swords in this time, too?"

Shunusuke chuckled. "I'm not a Samurai. Swords are just a hobby, though kata with a sword or other weapons is part of Aikido. We have much deadlier weapons in this—Wait. Did you say 'in this _time'_?" For the first time since he walked through the door Shunusuke's composure actually slipped a little. He took a step closer to Shippo, who retreated behind Inu Yasha's legs.

"Uh…" the kitsune began, but Inu Yasha cut him off. "It doesn't matter where we're from. You can't get there, so forget about it."

"But that's what he said, isn't it?" Shunusuke persisted, undeterred by the threatening look in Inu Yasha's glittering, golden eyes. "You're from another time? Is that possible?"

Inu Yasha growled: "I said forget about it."

Shunusuke turned to his sister, but she wouldn't meet his eyes, so he tried pushing the demons some more. "Come on, you guys, what do you think I'm gonna do? Are you or aren't you?"

Shippo came out of hiding to hop up on the counter and put himself eye to eye with Shunusuke. "So what if we are? What _are_ you gonna do?"

"Shippo!" Inu Yasha barked.

Shunusuke rolled his eyes. "Nothing, it's just—" he shrugged, " it's cool, that all. And how did you wind up in our time, anyway? Is this something demons can do?"

"Yes, Shippo," Keiichi asked with keen interest, "is this just a youkai trick, or did you come through some kind of portal?"

Karami clapped her hands with delight. "Oh, that is so cool! What time are you from?"

Inu Yasha buried his face in his hands. Hopeless. Utterly hopeless. He should've just stayed home and waited for Kagome to get back. This was getting more and more complicated with every passing hour. "I have no idea," he grumbled through his fingers.

"The Warring States Period," Yuki informed him.

To which Inu Yasha sighed: "Good name for it."

Karami was thrilled. "With Oda Nobunaga?! And," her eyes sparkled and she got a dreamy look on her face, "Samurai! Are you a Samurai in your time, Inu Yasha? What about you, Shippo? Oh, no, you wouldn't be. You're a kitsune. Maybe you know some Samurai! This is so cool!" She giggled and squirmed with delight. "Have you ever been in a castle? Oh! Do you live in one?! What's it like?"

Shippo narrowed his eyes at Keiichi and asked: "What's with her and Samurai?" At the same time that Inu Yasha demanded to know: "Who's this Oda Nobunaga, and why does everybody keep asking me about him?!"

Karami was on a roll. "Knights in shining armor…castles…*sigh*. I'd be a princess in layers of silk, with an army of gallant Samurai to defend my honor…"

"O-da No-bu-na-ga," Inu Yasha hissed into Karami's face. "Who is he?"

His question was ignored, but he wasn't.

* * *

_(KARAMI DREAM SEQUENCE)_

_Princess Karami in her layers of glorious kimono is pinned to the ground by a gang of wicked bandits on the way to her father's palace in Edo. They've slain all of her retainers and the brave Samurai her father had charged with protecting her. But the noble warriors took many of the bandits into death with them, leaving their poor Princess in the hands of the remaining brigands, who are determined to avenge their fallen comrades upon her lovely, nubile young body. Suddenly, like a holy wind from heaven, a powerful Samurai in shining black armor arrives on the scene, as if sent by the gods themselves! With a terrifying war cry, he leaps from the back of his steed, the steel of his katana catching the sunlight like a mighty flame—_

_(END OF KARAMI DREAM SEQUENCE)  
_

* * *

Keiichi rolled his eyes. "Earth to Karami. Come in, Karami."

"Oh, you must be a Samurai!" Karami gushed at Inu Yasha, utterly ignoring her boyfriend, who had also been in peril the previous night (apparently guys are never "in distress" and in need of rescuing in Karami's fantasies). "The way you rescued me from those evil men—just like an honorable knight saving a damsel in distress!"

"'Honorable knight'?" Everyone else muttered in unison. Shippo snickered.

Inu Yasha gritted his teeth and told Karami in a tight voice: "I am not a Samurai. Samurai are human—and in my time, they're the 'evil men' women like you need to watch out for. Even the ones who do have a lord are dangerous. Samurai take what they want, and anybody who doesn't like it dies." He cursed at her in utter disgust and went to pour himself another glass of ice water. "And will somebody please tell me who the fuck this Oda Nobunaga sunnovabitch is before I start breaking shit over here?!" He slammed down his glass to illustrate.

Keiichi hurried to explain: "He was a great warlord, the first to make effective use of firearms in battle in Japan. I have no idea when he lived in relationship to where you came from, but since you've never heard of him—"

"—I met a kid named Nobunaga," Inu Yasha interrupted, "but he wasn't from Oda Clan."

"Different guy, I guess," Keiichi laughed self-consciously, then shut up as Inu Yasha glared at him over the rim of his glass.

"Yeah, I guess."

Karami, meanwhile, wasn't taking having her bubble burst very well. She sank back against the cushions and pouted. "Well, maybe there are honorable ones and they would rescue a damsel in distress…"

"Whatever," Inu Yasha snapped at her. "I don't know much about the habits of humans. I usually find mortals pretty boring."

No one said anything for a while. Inu Yasha sat down across from Karami and ignored his water, feeling inexplicably guilty for spoiling her romantic fantasies while at the same time utterly puzzled by them. She'd been a "damsel in distress" last night, and he'd rescued her, but that didn't make him a Samurai. He didn't even want to be a Samurai. Always having to live by some stuffy set of rules and act a certain way and kill himself if he got dishonored. What was the allure of that? Shippo sat on the couch next to Karami but couldn't find anything to say. Finally, Inu Yasha said: "You don't have to be a Samurai to be honorable, or rescue people from assholes like Tachi, you know."

That perked her up a little. "I know. I didn't mean to insult you by calling you a Samurai."

He shrugged and took a sip of water. "I'm not insulted." When did he get so soft on women, anyway? Samurai rescuing beautiful princesses in layers of silk. Oh, brother. Is that what people in this time thought life was like in his? They called it "The Warring States Period", so at least they understood that there were a lot of wars going on, lots of bloody power struggles between warlords. But did they think those battles were fought by brave, noble knights defending somebody's honor? Gods, he hoped not. Suddenly he smiled at what she'd said about Samurai rescuing damsels in distress. He did a lot of rescuing of Kagome in distress, which he supposed made him Karami's sort of romantic hero (without the confining armor and restrictive lifestyle). Was that how Kagome thought of him? Her brave, honorable Samurai, who saved her from wicked men meaning to do her harm? The idea of being the hero of women's romantic fantasies was oddly appealing to him, especially if the woman having the fantasy was Kagome.

"You know, he's right," Shunusuke commented as he sat on the floor by the table, "you don't have to be a sword-slinging, ass-kicking Samurai warrior to be honorable. There are alternatives to fighting," he held up a dramatic finger, "which brings us to a point: What are we going to do to…*ahem*… discourage Tachimora-san from making any further trouble for the local beach goers and more specifically for us? Now, we could continue with the Inu Yasha Method and just keep mopping up the beach with his sorry ass," grins at that, especially from Inu Yasha, who expressed his willingness to carry on with the status quo by cracking his knuckles and showing his fangs. Shunusuke continued: "Or, we can solve this problem in a more permanent fashion."

Karami blanched. "You don't mean…kill him?!"

Yuki, Shunusuke and Keiichi groaned. Shunusuke rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "There will be no killing. Killing is bad." He looked up and gave her a weary smile. "You've been watching too many John Woo movies, Karami-san. As I said, there are alternatives to violence, though in Tachimora's case, I don't think we're gonna have much choice."

"Damn right we won't!" Inu Yasha didn't get the movie reference but he latched right onto Shunusuke's realization that Tachi wouldn't give them any alternatives to violence. That was just fine with Inu Yasha, who found a knock down, drag out blood bath cathartic. Shunusuke's thing about being one with universe was a tad confusing in the current context, however. Was Yuki's brother a monk, or a martial artist? Was he both? A warrior monk, perhaps? And what was with that nonsense he kept spouting about alternatives to fighting?

Shunusuke held up his hand to forestall any speech about ass kicking that Inu Yasha had planned, but was too late. "Let him come!" Inu Yasha crowed. "I hope he brings all of his 'guys', so we can take care of 'em all at once!" He smacked his fist into his palm with gusto. Shunusuke slowly shook his head. "What? Why not get all of them at once?" Inu Yasha protested. "It's better than picking them off one by one—"

"Oh, I agree completely," Shunusuke insisted, holding up his hands in a peaceful gesture, "I just think we need a better strategy than beating the boogers out of them. If we do that, they'll still come back—maybe not as long as you and I are here, but we don't live here, and there are always tourists at this beach. What about them?" He nodded thoughtfully. "When I said we needed to solve this problem permanently, I meant we have to make it so Tachimora and his gang no longer threaten anybody—not together, not individually."

"And short of killing them," Keiichi drawled with a nod to Karami, who flushed with embarrassment over her earlier outburst, "or throwing them in jail, what are our options? Killing them is, of course, definitely out. We could call the police and let the law handle it from here, but—"

"What happened to us not wanting any questions?" Shippo growled from his perch at Karami's elbow and shook his tail in defiance.

Keiichi smiled at him. "I wasn't finished. I was going to say: We could involve the law—if we didn't have a hard-to-explain-away youkai involved in the crime for which we want them arrested. Namely: The attack on myself and Karami last night." He chewed his knuckle thoughtfully. "I suppose we could lie…say it was somebody else…you, maybe?" He looked at Shunuske.

Shunusuke shook his head. "Too many regulars around here would recognize me, and Yuki said there were witnesses." He made a lazy gesture at Inu Yasha. "And even with the bandanna and shades, he's hard to mistake for somebody else."

Inu Yasha found that amusing until it dawned on him that witnesses meant gossip, which meant word of his heroics had probably reached Kagome's ears by now, which meant he was in deep shit. No wait! He wouldn't be in trouble with Kagome, because she'd hear that he'd beat up those guys to save a woman who was about to be raped! She'd be proud of him, just like Shippo had said! But if she was so proud of him, where was she? Maybe she didn't know where he was staying. Surely the witnesses saw where he'd taken the wounded but maybe they didn't know who this house belonged to. No, that didn't add up, either, since Shunusuke was sure regular visitors to this beach would know him on sight, which seemed to indicate that the Asanos spent a lot of time here. So why hadn't Kagome tried to contact him? Was she afraid Tachi would connect her to him and try to hurt her? His heart raced again at the thought of Kagome in the hands of Tachimora's gang. "Good girl, Kagome," he thought, "just pretend you don't know me till I can fix this!"

They continued their discussion of the problem at hand, but even after chewing on it for almost an hour they still couldn't come up with any plan better than waiting to see what Tachi's next move would be and reacting to it. Then Shunusuke had an inspiration:

"Hey, Inu Yasha, let's go work out on the beach," he suggested as he rose and stretched, then headed for his luggage, which was still sitting where he'd left it just inside the door. "I brought my shinai with me to practice with Yuki, but I don't think she'll mind being left out this time." He smiled at his sister, who shook her head. No, she didn't mind at all.

Inu Yasha frowned. Yuki could use a sword, too? Or was she merely her brother's student and never used more than the bamboo practice sword? Judging by Yuki's combatant personality, Inu Yasha decided the girl wouldn't be happy with a pretend sword and probably had a blade of her own, though he hadn't seen her unpack one when they'd arrived. Probably left it at home, he reasoned, thinking they were headed for a nice, peaceful week at the beach, and no doubt wished she had it now. That had partly been his own reasoning for leaving the Tetsusaiga behind. What in the world had he been thinking? Of course, Shunusuke had started to tell them that people in this time only used swords as a hobby, so maybe Yuki didn't have one of her own, and neither did her brother since nobody used them as real weapons in their time. If so, then it was a good thing after all that he didn't have his father's sword with him.

"Hopefully," Shunusuke was saying as he passed Inu Yasha, suitcase in one hand, another large, odd-shaped case in the other and what Inu Yasha recognized as bamboo swords in cloth sheaths tucked under his arm, "one of Tachimora's little creeps'll see us and let him know Shunusuke Asano's in town and working with Inu Yasha." He started to put his things in the room Inu Yasha and Shippo were using, realized it was occupied by non-family and installed his belongings in Yuki's room. "We gotta get a bigger place," he complained as he got out the swords and returned with them to the living room. Removing the cloth sheaths, he tossed one of the swords to Inu Yasha, who caught it effortlessly. "I'll sleep out here."

"That's where we're sleeping, too," Shippo informed him. He hopped off the arm of the couch and had transformed into a teenage human again by the time his feet his the floor.

Karami blushed. "We don't mean to be such a bother, Yuki-san—"

Yuki waved her off. "It's no bother! Make yourselves at home."

The other girl rose unsteadily and bowed with a relieved smile. With a catch in her voice, she said: "Thank you, Yuki-san!"

Yuki gaped at her. From the tone of her voice, Karami seemed to think they'd just put her back on the beach so that gang could attack her again! The bruises on Karami's body had been enough to bring tears to Yuki's eyes last night and threatened to do it again now. She was just glad she hadn't seen what Inu Yasha and Keiichi must have witnessed. And poor Keiichi, sitting there trying to be his usual cavalier self with two cracked ribs and a face that was still swollen and bruised from the beating he'd taken. Damn that Tachimora! "We won't let them hurt you again, Karami-chan," she told the girl solemnly, her fingernails pressing little red half-moons into her palms, "that's a promise. We won't let them hurt you, or Keiichi or anybody else ever again."

When she talked like that, Inu Yasha could almost forget the way she'd treated him before her brother's arrival. In fact, right about now she sounded a lot like Kagome. He shook the thought from his head. Yuki was nothing like Kagome, no matter how brave the Asano girl might turn out to be or how good she might be with a sword (if she could use one that wasn't made of bamboo and even owned a real one). He slipped into his diguise once again, then, turning Shunusuke's practice sword in his palm, he followed Yuki's brother out the door and down to the beach below the condo.

No sooner did the two men step onto the beach when they were spied by several bathing beauties, who squealed their discovery to their neighbors. In minutes, Inu Yasha and Shunusuke had an audience.

Or more accurately, they had groupies.

* * *

"What's going on down there?" Kagome asked Rei. Both girls tilted their sunglasses down their noses as several girls tore past them, making for the Asano residence, where a pack of mostly females was already gathered in the sand behind the condo. Kagome couldn't see what they were all gawking at but could hazard a guess. The brave hero of last night's gallant rescue had emerged: Inu Yasha of the great butt and leather wardrobe. Oh boy, the excitement never stopped. This was gonna be a loooong afternoon. Just as well get it over with. She sighed and stood up. "Shall we find out?"

Rei however was already halfway down the beach, squealing: "Kagome, it's him!"

Kagome trudged after her in disgust. "You'd think Elvis had come back from the dead…" she muttered bitterly. What in the world had gotten these girls all worked up over a conceited jerk like Inu Yasha? Gallant? Puh-leeze! Sure, he was brave and strong and all that (hmmm…really strong) but he was also a brawler who couldn't say two nice words to her without freaking out and taking them back. Usually. Well, ok, lately he hadn't been taking it back—but he was a total jerk whenever she had to go home! As if she didn't have a life apart from him! Grrrr! And he actually thought she was spending a whole week at the beach alone with Hojo? Even if she was that kind of a girl (which she wasn't, and how dare that creep think she was), Hojo wasn't that kind of a boy. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen Hojo at all. Well, she hadn't even been there a full day yet.

She was at the back of the crowd of giggling, swooning girls (and handful of disgusted boys) by the time she finished that thought and realized she still couldn't see what was going on. She could hear clacking sounds, men grunting and then what was unmistakably Inu Yasha's voice cursing somebody named Shunusuke. Kagome guessed Shunusuke was Inu Yasha's opponent, though the demon's tone didn't sound like the one he usually used in a fight. Just sparring? Inu Yasha had found a sparring partner already? Since when did he practice fighting? And who was—oh. Duh. She smacked her forehead. Drooling girls, Asano condominium, sparring. Kagome did the math and it added up to Yuki's big brother Shunusuke, former Kendo Club President and high school heartthrob. From the sighs that reached her ears, University in America hadn't spoiled Shunuske's looks.

"Excuse me," Kagome muttered as she tried to push her way to the fore, only to be shoved back for her rudeness. "I said 'excuse me'!" She whined and bullied harder. This time she made better progress and was slowly able to work her way to just behind the first row of spectators and peek between their heads at the action.

* * *

Shippo watched the match from the balcony above the beach and giggled at how Inu Yasha must feel about all those silly girls watching him fight. Come to think of it, Dog Boy wasn't doing quite as well with the sword as he usually did. Not that Inu Yasha had ever fought with any particular skill, usually just going by his wits (such as they were) but today the scrappy demon really seemed off his game. "Must be the lack of sleep," Shippo reasoned. He watched the men circle each other, then Inu Yasha would attack with a shout, and Shunusuke would block him effortlessly. Another attack, another casual block. Attack, block, attack, block. Inu Yasha was working himself into a pretty foul temper, while his opponent remained as serene as the Buddha. Shunusuke would say something to Inu Yasha, who would look disgusted and attack, only to be deflected again. "I wonder what he's saying?" Shippo mused. Inu Yasha didn't look mad enough for his opponent's words to be insults, so what could Shunusuke be telling him?

A shout came up from one of the few males in the crowd: "Hey, Asano! Forget the swords! Let the man do what he does best!"

That got cheers of assent from males and females alike, and a smug look from Inu Yasha. Shunusuke waggled a scolding finger at the audience and called back: "Not until he defeats me at what I do best!" There was laughter and cheers at that declaration, and somebody starting calling for bets.

All of a sudden Shippo saw a familiar face pushing her way to the front of the crowd and his blood went cold. "Kagome! Oh no! Think fast!" He ran back into the house and collided with Yuki. "Kagome's gonna talk to him!" Shippo explained as he freed himself from her and ran out the front door and down the stairs to the beach.

Yuki rushed out onto the porch to see what he would do, then realized with great irritation that she wouldn't be able to hear a thing the kitsune said. It only took her a moment to spot Kagome, standing in the second row, watching the fight. Soon Shippo appeared at the back of the crowd and began to insinuate himself, shouldering through until he was standing next to Kagome and speaking in her ear with a companionable expression on his face. "What in the hell are you doing, fox?"

* * *

It was now Asano's turn to be the aggressor, but Inu Yasha was only just barely able to block Shunusuke's shinai. Kagome was near, he could smell her, and the intoxicating fragrance of her sun drenched skin was killing his concentration. She was here, she was in the crowd watching him— "Oh, dear gods, don't let her try to talk to me!" Then he smelled Shippo. That could be good or bad, depending on what the kitsune planned to do. Inu Yasha turned the remainder of his concentration on what Shippo was saying to Kagome and quite justifiably got the sword knocked straight out of his hands. He watched the bamboo rod twirl through the air and land (no!) right at Kagome's feet. When did she get in the front row?! His heart beat so hard and fast it threatened to strangle him as he forced himself to walk as normally as possible to retrieve his weapon. He bent over, got a trembling hand around it, straightened up—and looked right into her big, beautiful eyes and blushing face. He swallowed, she swallowed, then he forced himself to look around the rest of the front row, turn his back on her and prepare himself for Shunusuke's next attack. He could feel sweat trickling down his back that had nothing to do with his exertions with Shunusuke.

"You mustn't let anything distract you," Kendo champion Asano was instructing him as if nothing had happened (did Shunususke know what Kagome looked like?) and just like he'd been doing the whole damn fight. As if he, Inu Yasha, wielder of the fabled Tetsusaiga, needed instruction in Bushido from a mortal! But the man was right: He had let a girl distract him. "Remember: You are the universe and the universe is you," Shunusuke rambled on. "Be one with it, one with the sword in your hand, one with me. There is no 'defeat' or 'victory', there is only the practice we are doing together here and now." Shunusuke planted his feet and nodded. "Again!"

Who in the hell did this human think he was, anyway? He probably had no real combat experience and he presumed to instruct—"Shit!" Distracted again, this time by pride and anger. Inu Yasha once again retrieved his sword (from the other side of the ring from Kagome, thank all the gods) and prepared for the next round. "Who made you sensei?" He taunted, but Shunusuke remained unruffled.

"I've been teaching Bushido for four years now," he explained in a conversational tone. "In my family the training begins almost as soon as a child can walk." He brought his sword up and around, seeming to allow Inu Yasha to block it, then came back with a quicker blow that nearly ripped the weapon out of the demon's hands again. "I am Asano. In the days before the Samurai were outlawed, we were Lords in this land for almost eight hundred years." Swoop, clack, swat. "Our dojo is near the city of Osaka, where it has been for four hundred and thirty years. Once, when Tokyo was known as Edo, we had a castle not far from here, but we—"clack, clack, thwack "—set ourselves against Nobunaga, and he burned it to the ground." Whack!

Inu Yasha's weapon went flying once again. Asano's family was that old? Inu Yasha scoured his memory for some hint of the name, but he honestly didn't keep track of humans. After his mother's death, they didn't affect his life until… He sighed and picked up the sword. Until he met Kikyo. And then Kagome. Now it seemed everybody in his life was human, save Shippo and Myouga (that he could consider friends).

Shunusuke wasn't finished with his monologue yet. "Of course, we're just a rich family now. Businessmen. There are no more nobles in Japan, except for the Emperor and his family." He sounded genuinely saddened by that.

Inu Yasha thumped his sword against his shoulder and teased: "So what are you, anyway? A storyteller? I thought you were a swordsman."

He feigned shock. "I? Why I am nothing more than the son of Mikoto Asano, heir to the Asano fortune and the family micro chip manufacturing and research business. Lucrative stuff, technology." The young swordsman performed a joking bow.

Inu Yasha smiled to humor the mortal and tried to act like he knew what Asano was talking about. He hated it when these people tossed around lingo he didn't understand. If Yuki had said all that stuff, he would've thought she was trying to insult him, but the way Shunusuke said it, it was just information, a simple presentation of his credentials to a skeptical student. With a bit of a punch line at the end to keep things light.

The groupies found Asano's little speech very inspiring and swooned and giggled over how "dreamy" he was. Inu Yasha rolled his eyes. Shunusuke enjoyed the attention enormously.

* * *

Shippo sidled up to Kagome just before Inu Yasha's blade landed at her feet. He had only enough to time to comment in a conspiratorial voice: "Hey! That's that Inu Yasha guy! Man, I wouldn't want to be a friend of his after what he did to Tachi's guys last night!"

"You wouldn't?" Kagome asked, not recognizing her kitsune friend through his disguise. "Why not?"

He snorted: "'Cause if Tachi finds out they know Inu Yasha—" he made a slashing motion across his throat, "—they're history!"

Then Inu Yasha was picking up his sword and looking straight into Kagome's eyes. Shippo thought time would hang right there forever as he held his breath, thanked the gods that nobody could see Inu Yasha's eyes through those dark glasses and fervently prayed that Kagome would take the hint and play dumb. In a heartbeat, it was over, with neither speaking to the other or even acting like they recognized each other. Shippo thought he might faint. Suddenly, he had an idea. If Inu Yasha and Kagome couldn't get together, and Tachi's guys would know the Asanos, Keiichi and Karami, then it was up to him to play middleman! But he had to let Kagome know who he was first. Easy enough:

"Don't I know you?" He mused, squinting at her and tapping a thoughtful finger against his lips. "Aren't you Higurashi? Um…wait, I'll remember…Kagome, right?"

She looked a little suspicious but nodded.

Shippo grinned from ear to ear. "You probably don't remember me. Shippo? My mom used to bring me to the shrine—"

"Oh! Shippo! Of course!" Kagome almost wept for joy. Shippo was here, too! He could be her go-between with Inu Yasha! "Shippo Kinu!" She made up a family name for him on the fly, hoping he'd remember it for the next time she used it at him, then smiled with a barely-suppressed giggle at her own cleverness. (Note: Shippo means "tail", Kinu means "silk" - QOS) "I do remember! How is you mother?"

They reminisced about their totally imaginary past acquaintance for a few minutes, then Inu Yasha lost his grip again. The shinai would've hit Kagome right in the face, but a hand shot out in front of her and snatched it away. She looked up with a start to discover the hand belonged to Inu Yasha himself, who had spun about with supernatural speed to grab the sword before it could harm her. "Th-thank you," Kagome stammered and blushed furiously.

He smiled at her and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry about that," he apologized in a voice that shook just enough for her to notice, then he went back to sparring with Asano.

Kagome clutched her chest, a gesture her friend Rei, who had just managed to reach the front row took completely wrong (or maybe completely right). She grabbed Kagome's arm and gushed into her ear: "Eeek! He talked to you, Kagome! I'm so jealous!"

She wrenched her arm out of Rei's grasp with an irritated snort. "That stupid sword of his almost hit me in the face!"

"But he caught it!" Rei reminded her, then went back to being a drooling groupie. "Did you see how fast he moved? He's too chivalrous to let anything hurt a girl! Even his own sword!" All of a sudden she noticed Shippo looking at her like she'd just arrived from another planet. She quickly pulled herself together. "Kagome? Who's your friend?"

"Eh?" Kagome blinked confusion, but Shippo poked her arm to point her in the right direction. "Oh! Uh, Rei Taitsuko, this is Shippo Kinu. He used to visit our shrine with his mother. Shippo, Rei goes to my school."

They bowed and shook hands at the same time, which was rather awkward across Kagome's body, and Shippo wound up bonking his head on Kagome's breasts on the way back up. Both he and Kagome turned bright red, and Shippo stammered an incoherent apology, which made all three of them giggle. Then Kagome said: "C'mon, you guys, let's go. Sword fights are boring. And anyway, I'm hungry."

Rei surprised her by not insisting she be allowed to stay and watch the "gallant" Inu Yasha spar with the handsome Shunusuke Asano. Instead, the girl attached herself to Shippo, who, unable to think of a good excuse not to accept Kagome's invitation to go with her and her friend, allowed himself to be led away.

* * *

It was all Inu Yasha could do not to watch Kagome go. He wished Asano was the one with his back to her, not him, but there was nothing he could do about it that wouldn't be conspicuous. He could hear them giggling most of the way down the beach. Clever little Shippo had saved the day this time and was enjoying his just reward: Kagome's company, which Inu Yasha couldn't see himself sharing for at least the rest of the week. After all the trouble he'd gone through to be with her here, even enduring Yuki's snide remarks, foot in his groin and weird come-ons, all he could do was catch glimpses of Kagome (if he was lucky). He couldn't talk to her, or even acknowledge that he knew her or noticed her.

"I've had enough, Asano," he growled, then realized how that would sound to the audience and quickly put on a companionable smirk.

Shunusuke laughed and thumped Inu Yasha's back. "Not so fast," he grinned as he tossed his shinai aside and took up a ready stance, "it's time to do what you do best."

The crowd cheered, and more bets were called for. Inu Yasha wasn't in the mood to fight anymore, which just wasn't like him. She'd been so close, just a few inches away, smelling like sunlight and sweat and some unfamiliar but delicious aroma. Maybe it was the oil that made her skin shine like it did. He couldn't hear her voice anymore, something that left him feeling strangely hollow. "Sword fights are boring!" Her words rang in his head. Kagome thought watching him fight was boring. She could've stuck around just because she knew how much he liked to show off. Anyway, her friend Rei thought he was cool, even if she didn't beg to stay when Kagome wanted to leave. Come to think of it, the girl had seemed a bit too eager to be introduced to Shippo. Stupid fox would have to put on a cute disguise. Now cute little fox-boy was off having a nice lunch with Kagome. "Is Shippo interesting?" Inu Yasha snarled at Kagome in his thoughts. "Is that who's interesting?"

He didn't realize it, but the entire time he'd been working himself into a nice, deep funk, Shunusuke had been attacking him, and he'd been dodging and blocking each one. Inu Yasha blinked himself back to reality to find Asano regarding him thoughtfully from across the circle. "By George, Inu Yasha, I think you've got it!" He said in a funny accent.

"Who's 'George'?" The demon shot back. "And what have I 'got'?" Aside from an aching feeling of despair, Inu Yasha honestly couldn't think of what Shunusuke might mean. "Better not be more of that oneness with the universe bullshit," he grouched.

Shunusuke laughed. "If you'd been in this state when we fought with shinai you wouldn't have lost your sword."

"Damn," Inu Yasha muttered and made a lunge with his foot at his opponent's middle, "it is more of that weird shit."

This time, Shunusuke flipped him easily. Inu Yasha attacked again and again found himself on the ground. This simply would not do. What was he doing before that had kept Asano from beating him? Oh, right: Moping. So, Inu Yasha made a conscious decision to be extremely depressed and to not pay the least attention to what was going on around him. Since the rest of his day already sucked, why not do an annoying experiment? He went back to thinking about Kagome telling her friend and Shippo that sword fights were boring, told himself Kagome really meant to say he was boring. He imagined her having lots of fun, giggling and playing with Shippo. Just to really rub it in, he stirred Hojo into the mix, though he honestly had no idea what the boy looked like (so he made him as gorgeous as possible). Then he imagined this fantasy Hojo kissing Kagome on the beach in the moonlight.

When he returned to reality, his hands were around Shunusuke's neck, and the human was trying desperately to pry them off. "Inu *gasp* Yasha! *WHEEZE* This isn't…funny!"

He let go. "Oh, uh…sorry." As Asano caught his breath, Inu Yasha massaged his hands and sheepishly accepted accolades from the crowd. "Why didn't I think of depression before?" Inu Yasha wondered to himself. Hm. A better question that popped into his head was why hadn't depression worked before? Maybe the gloomy feelings weren't the key, after all. Well, Asano seemed to know what had made the difference, so Inu Yasha decided to ask him when they got back into the condo. That is, if the man would forgive him for almost strangling him to death in front of all those people.

"Damn, Inu Yasha," Shunusuke griped as they walked up the stairs to the door, "you didn't have to go that far! It was just practice."

Inu Yasha grunted another apology. He pushed open the door and ripped off his disguise, then his shirt and used it to mop the sweat off of himself. Behind him, Shunusuke shut the door then did the same. Yuki hurried in from her bedroom with a finger to her lips to warn them to keep it down.

"Keiichi and Karami are sleeping," she explained. As she went to get them something cold to drink, she asked: "So what happened out there?"

"It was close," Inu Yasha replied grimly, purposefully not addressing the question of when and why his hands had gone around her brother's throat for no justifiable reason. "She almost talked to me. What if some of Tachimora's guys were in the crowd? I saw some males there. Did you recognize any of them, Shunusuke?"

Shunusuke shook his head as he flopped down onto the couch, still rubbing his neck. Suddenly, he chuckled: "The little guy really saved our asses, didn't he?"

Inu Yasha accepted his glass from Yuki, chugged down its contents, then set it on the table and leaned his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes. All he could see was Kagome's startled face when their gazes had met as he retrieved his sword. Was there anything more beautiful than her eyes, he wondered. She'd been scared. Not only could he see it in her eyes and face but he could smell it on her, as well. Shippo had gotten in his warning just in the nick of time, thank the gods, but it had frightened her. Had she heard about the attack on Karami? That the girl had almost been gang raped? Was that look of fear because Kagome was putting herself in Karami's place, just has his own imagination had done? Or was she afraid for him? Inu Yasha's heart skipped a beat at the thought of her worrying more for his safety than her own, then he cursed her for being so stupid. He could take care of himself, but she was just a human girl and all of her courage couldn't save her from the kind of attack he'd witnessed last night. Anyway, he failed to amuse Kagome.

"Am I really boring?" He wondered with a catch in his throat. She'd only said sword fighting was boring, but wouldn't it be even a little interesting if one of the combatants was someone she wanted to watch? He knew Kagome hated fighting but he had no idea she thought it was boring to watch him fight. What did Kagome like to watch? Gods, he hoped it wasn't that lousy Kabuki shit Sesshomaru loved. Movies? That was an activity he knew for certain she'd shared with Hojo. Had she enjoyed it? What else did she like to do? It occurred to him that he'd never really bothered to ask.

Inu Yasha absently listened to Shunusuke recount the afternoon's adventure for his sister and allowed himself to slip ever deeper into a well of self-pity. More than anything in all the world at that moment, he just wanted to be a little kitsune named Shippo.


	6. Chapter 6

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Six

The clouds rolled in at about three and were dumping sheets of rain onto the beach by three-thirty. Inu Yasha sat on the living room floor with his knees against the glass doors and watched the porch get soaked and the trees get buffeted by the wind. Shippo had been gone for more than two hours now, probably having a grand time with Kagome and her friend while he was cooped up with Yuki Asano, who kept telling everybody how romantic rain was, while Karami agreed with her in that dreamy voice she used when discussing romantic things. Stupid women. Rain was depressing, not romantic, especially coming on the heels of a beautiful morning. He bet Kagome would agree with him, since she was a practical girl, not mushy like Karami and Yuki. What was she doing with Shippo right now? Were they watching the rain, too, or doing whatever it was Kagome considered fun?

"Sword fights are boring!"

Inu Yasha cringed at the memory of Kagome's condescending tone. He'd always thought he must look heroic (and even a bit studly) as he crushed an enemy with the Tetsusaiga. Kagome knew what his father's sword meant to him and what it meant to him to be able to use it well so he wouldn't disgrace the great demon who'd sired him. Had his human mother found sword fights boring? Or had she admired his father as he wielded the Steel Cleaving Fang? Maybe Kagome wasn't interested because swords weren't important in her time. What kind of weapons did they use now? What did it matter. Kagome hated violence, so the weapon wouldn't be an issue. But…"boring"? Watching him fight was boring?

The gentle sounds of a stringed instrument gradually insinuated themselves into his thoughts. Inu Yasha realized he didn't recognize the deep-toned instrument, nor had he heard a stringed instrument played like that, with more than one string being struck at the same time over and over. It was actually rather nice. Then a man's voice began to sing a song in a gaijin tongue. Inu Yasha's ears swiveled backwards to listen, and he realized the singer was Shunusuke and that he had a very pleasant voice.

"What language is that?" Inu Yasha asked when Shunusuke came to a part that was just music and no singing. "Amer-ee-kan?"

Shunusuke repeated the bridge, so he could answer the question. "How do you know about Americans?"

The demon shrugged. "Yuki said your mother is one. Is that her language?"

"Yes, but it's called English, after the country it originated in: England." Inu Yasha grunted but since he didn't seem to have anything more to say on the subject, Shunusuke went back to singing.

When the song was over, all but Inu Yasha applauded. Still watching the rain, Inu Yasha asked: "What was that song about?"

Shunusuke strummed nonsense while he replied. "It's one of my mom's favorite songs from when she was a kid. She used to play the album it's from over and over again-"

"Album?"

Shunusuke shook his head, though Inu Yasha couldn't see it. "I don't know how to explain. It's a collection of songs recorded by a machine onto a disk that people can play back with another machine."

Inu Yasha nodded. "Oh. That makes sense. So what's the song about?"

"It's called 'Margaritaville' and it's about an imaginary place in a country called Mexico that's south of America. The man singing the song-his name's Jimmy Buffet-is talking about his life there, on the beach." He translated some of the lyrics into Japanese: "'Wastin' away again in Margaritaville, searchin' for my lost shaker of salt. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, but I know it's my own damn fault.' See, a Margarita is a kind of drink that has Taquila in it, which comes from Mexico, and salt on the rim of the glass. Being at the beach and your girl troubles made me think of it."

Inu Yasha snorted: "'Girl troubles'? Yeah, I guess so." He turned around to lean his back against the glass and see the instrument Shunusuke was playing. It was similar to a mandolin, he thought, but bigger and shaped like…hmm. Yes, it was definitely shaped like a woman's torso. Heh. "Play something else. Another song your mother liked."

Shunusuke smiled and wondered if Inu Yasha's mother liked music as much as his own did. What else did mom like? Shunusuke picked absently for a few moments until he could think of one she liked and he knew how to play, then segued into "Yesterday" by the Beatles. Good thing Inu Yasha couldn't understand the words to that one, he thought about halfway through the song.

When it was finished, more applause, and this time Inu Yasha joined in. "You're pretty good," he told Shunusuke. "You have a nice voice."

"Shunusuke's in a band," Yuki told him proudly, "two or three, actually, here and at school."

Band? Inu Yasha guessed that was what people in this time called a musical group. "What's that called?" He pointed at the instrument.

Shunusuke passed it to him with a smile. "It's a guitar. Go on," he encouraged the demon, "try it. Do you play any instruments?"

He shook his head. "I have no use for such things," but he picked at the strings anyway, enjoying the way the body of the instrument vibrated against his chest and the deep, rich tones hummed in his ears. "Court people learn to play because they have other people to take care of things like growing food and protecting their homes. I live from day to day, wandering, stealing food or hunting for it when I'm hungry. And I have a lot of enemies to worry about, so I don't have time for music making and don't have the spirit for singing." And yet he continued to pluck at the strings, mimicking with dead-on accuracy the melody of the song Shunusuke had just played. When he realized what he was doing, Inu Yasha stopped and frowned at the guitar. "I didn't know I could do that."

They laughed at him.

"Figures he'd have a perfect ear," Shunusuke snorted, then said to Inu Yasha pointedly: "Some of us have to take lessons for years and learn songs from sheet music before getting good enough to play by ear."

He'd never imagined himself as a musician before since the very idea of him taking up anything but a sword had always been absurd. It was actually sort of fun. If only he knew the words to that song Shunusuke had song, he could see if he could sing, too. Probably not, he thought sourly. His speaking voice was too rough to make the sweet sounds Shunusuke did. What a samurai that Asano was: A swordsman, martial artist, religious, musical… well-rounded. "And I'm just a coarse, brawling wanderer. No wonder Kagome thinks I'm a jerk." And boring, he reminded himself, can't forget boring. Of course, if he could play songs for her on this guitar-thing she might see him in a different light. Women loved music, didn't they? His mother had. If he could sing, too, that would be even better!

Nah! Inu Yasha couldn't picture himself serenading Kagome like some stupid fairy-boy. He handed the guitar back to Shunusuke. Hm. Asano wasn't a fairy-boy and he sang and played, as well as being able to kick ass with a sword. "Tell me about that song," he asked finally. "Was it about the beach, too?"

Shunusuke hesitated just long enough for Keiichi to answer for him. "It's called 'Yesterday', by a band named the Beatles, which no longer exists but had immeasurable influence on modern music all over the world. In fact, that song is widely recognized as one of the best songs every written." He cleared his throat. Why was Asano looking so worried? "It goes like this: 'Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play, now I need some place to hide away. I believe in yesterday. Why'd she have to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say. I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.'" Gulp. Oh, that's why Asano was making that face. Open mouth, insert foot. "Uh…well, it's just a song. Ha-ha!" A song that perfectly reflected Inu Yasha's girl troubles of the moment.  
The demon sighed, and his ears drooped. Love was such an easy game to play. Like hell it was. It had never been easy for him. And oh boy was he good at saying something wrong to Kagome-everything he said seemed to be the wrong thing to her. "What other songs do you know, Asano? Any with words in Japanese?"

He did and was happy to change the musical subject. Inu Yasha turned back around to watch the rain come down and listen to the happy little song about dancing and partying that Shunusuke chose to play for them. Bleh. It sounded like that crap Yuki liked. "That sucks," he snapped. Kagome had used that phrase at him once, and he'd like it so well he'd adopted it. Shunusuke stopped playing with a start. The girls giggled. "Sounds like that shit Yuki likes."

"Hey!" Yuki protested. "What's wrong with the music I like?!"

Inu Yasha whipped out the other phrase Kagome had used, which he liked even better than the first one: "It bites."

Shunusuke, Keiichi and Karami snickered at Yuki's red-face. She tossed her head and took herself off to the bathroom to sulk for a while (and take care of business). "Did you say 'it bites'?" Karami asked incredulously. "Do they say stuff like that in your time?"

"No. Kagome says it." Oh well, at least Kagome hadn't said sword fighting sucks or bites. It was just boring. What did that girl like, anyway? "Play something that doesn't bite, Shunusuke. Something cool." He paused, then added quickly: "She says that, too."

Keiichi exchanged a knowing look with Karami. "So, you and Kagome are pretty close, would you say?"

"'Close'?" Inu Yasha lowered his ears with a little growl. "What do you mean by 'close'? We're not lovers, if that's what you're getting at. You shouldn't believe everything Yuki says. She's obsessed."

From the bathroom, Yuki shouted: "I heard that, Dog Boy!"

"So what?!" Inu Yasha shouted back.  
She emerged from the bathroom and kicked him in the butt. Inu Yasha snarled at her but refused to take the bait. "You're such a jerk. Even if you wanted Kagome, she'd never want a creep like you!" She plopped into a chair with an angry snort, leaving Inu Yasha to chew on that for a while. "Go ahead and flatten those ears," she snapped, "see if I care. You don't scare me with that Big, Bad Demon act."

"Yuki…" Shunusuke warned, wondering what her problem was this time. There was no way she'd gotten that attached to Inu Yasha in a matter of a day and a half.

Inu Yasha jumped to his feet, threw open the door, stalked onto the porch and jumped over the railing before anyone could speak up to stop him. Shunusuke dropped his guitar and ran after him, but Inu Yasha had already disappeared. "Shit!" He went back inside and closed the door. "I'm going after him," he declared and headed out the front door.

Yuki ran after him, pausing only to warn Keiichi and Karami to stay put and lock the doors. "Shunusuke! Wait!"

Her brother turned on her at the foot of the stairs with a look that could melt iron and shouted: "Get back in the house, Yuki! I don't know what your problem is, but you better have an explanation when I get back!"

She watched him run down to the beach for a few moments, then muttered: "Don't tell me what to do!" And lit off after him.

Inu Yasha watched the Asanos run past his hiding place in a tree, looking for him. If it had only been Shunusuke, he might have revealed himself, but as long as Yuki was with him, Inu Yasha would stay hidden. That bitch. Who did she think she was talking to him like that? And how did a girl like her get a brother who was so cool? All the girls in this time seemed to be useless: Air-headed Karami, flirty Yuki, incomprehensible Kagome, not to mention all those gigglers who'd watch him and Asano spar that afternoon. The guys were alright, though: Even if Keiichi hadn't been able to defend himself against Tachi and his gang, the man seemed intelligent enough. Shunusuke was conceited (if his reaction to female admiration was any indication) but he was Inu Yasha's kind of human: Tough, skilled and intelligent. He didn't appear to be prone to the sort of stupidity that seemed to plague his race. Then again, he did come from a noble family. Oh wait, so did Yuki. Where had Mr. and Mrs. Asano failed between big brother and little sister?

Suddenly, his ears pricked forward at the sound of a familiar voice. Inu Yasha sat up straighter and strained to make sure he wasn't mistaken. With a passionate curse and knot in his stomach, he jumped from his hiding place and ran after Yuki and Shunusuke. "Tachimora! Damn!" The bully was back for revenge and, just as he'd promised that morning, he'd brought more guys with him. Inu Yasha counted fourteen males, including their leader. Six of them bore the bruises and bandages from last night's altercation. They had the Asanos surrounded, but to their credit Shunusuke and Yuki were utterly calm and ready for action.

"TACHIMORA!" Inu Yasha roundhoused the two gang members who turned at his shout. The wet sand made for better footing, but the rain was coming down hard enough to make it difficult to see and almost impossible to smell his enemy. A skinny gangster stupidly tried to kick him in the face, but Inu Yasha grabbed his foot and gave it a twist. A sickening crack, and the boy went down with a shriek of pain, clinging to his ankle.

Inu Yasha's attack was a signal to Yuki and Shunusuke. Yuki laid out three of the gang in seconds with well-placed power kicks, while her brother eliminated three more. Then she flipped her way over to engage two more opponents, feet and fists flying like lightning. Inu Yasha gawked at her in astonishment long enough for one of Tachi's guys to take a swing at him. The kid had a pocket knife in his hand, but Inu Yasha dodged it. He grabbed the boy's wrist and twisted until the knife came free. The boy screamed and staggered away, holding his injured wrist.

Inu Yasha came about with a triumphant snarl to find himself face to face with Tachi. The man had a bandage on his nose from last night, and blood trickled from his nostrils. He had a black eye and a cut on his jaw, as well, both of which looked new. Tachimora's eyes were fixed, not on Inu Yasha's face, but higher…on the top of his skull. It was then that the demon realized with a terrible, sinking feeling that he wasn't wearing his disguise. Tachi and his guys could see him for what he was: A wolf-eared demon with golden eyes. Ah well, now that his secret was out, Inu Yasha figured he just as well use it to his advantage. He bared his fangs at the gang leader and let go with the most terrifying growl he'd ever produced. Tachi turned white as a ghost and fainted at Inu Yasha's feet. "Heh. That felt good." Inu Yasha declared, then waded in to help his cohorts finish off the rest of the gang.

Shunuske was faced off with two assailants and three knives. He disarmed the boy who only had one weapon easily enough, but the other boy was faster. The boy sneered at him: "Not much without your demon pal, are ya, Asano?"

Shunusuke risked a quick glance at Inu Yasha and his stomach went cold. Even in the driving rain he could see that the demon was without his disguise. Dammit! Now what would they do about him? He dodged the knife the boy swung at his face and caught the hand holding the knife that tried to get in under his guard while he escaped the other one. Shunusuke jerked the boy's arm behind his back and pressed until the blade came free. Suddenly Yuki was in front of them, her hands knitting and unknitting before her as she muttered a high speed chant. Her hands exploded with a bright blue light that hit her brother's attacker full in the face. The boy screamed as every bone in his face cracked, and blood shot from his nose and ears.

Everything stopped. Attacker and defender gaped at the stricken boy, then at Yuki. Her hands still glowed a quiet blue for a few moments as she caught her breath and dumbly watched the knife slide from the boy's hand to stick in the sand. Shunusuke lowered him onto the ground, his frightened gaze never leaving his sister's. Yuki's eyes rolled up into her head and she collapsed face down into the sand. "Yuki…" Shunusuke choked as the rain washed blood from the injured boy's face into a puddle made by someone's footprint. Inu Yasha crouched next to Yuki and gently turned her head so she could breathe.

"That bitch killed Yamota!" Someone cursed.

Shunusuke touched the boy's jugular with a trembling finger and shook his head. "He's not dead, but we need to get him to the hospital. I don't suppose any of you has a phone on him?"

Nobody moved for a few seconds, then one of the boys reached into his jacket pocket and handed Shunusuke a cellular phone. He took it and called for an ambulance, then returned the phone to its owner, feeling like everything was moving in slow motion. Surreal. "You assholes," he growled. "See what you started?! None of this would've happened if you-" He sat in the sand and turned the wounded boy onto his side so the blood could drain out of his nose properly and not choke him. "Inu Yasha," he croaked, "go back to the condo," when the demon didn't move, Shunusuke screamed at him: "NOW! Do you want the authorities to see you?!"

"Fuck them," Tachi groaned as he stumbled over to check on his man. "I've seen him-we all have. He's a fucking demon, Asano! Just like the rest of your godforsaken clan." He nodded to the unconscious Yuki. "Just like that scary bitch."

Shunusuke grabbed him by the shirt and jerked the gang leader's face into his own. "Who's a demon? Huh? How about a guy who orders his men to gang rape a woman? Or beats up on a guy while his men hold him still. Fuck you, Tachimora! You almost killed them both last night!" He threw Tachi away from him with a disgusted growl. "That demon," he pointed to Inu Yasha, who still hadn't moved to leave, "saved those people's lives-and today he was trying to save ours! Between the two of you, I'd say you're the demon, you sick mother fucker!"

He lunged at Tachi, but Inu Yasha held them apart. "Knock it off!" He threw them away, putting at least three meters between them with his shove. "I'm leaving, Asano. Me and Shippo both. We'll go home." He clenched his fists as he rose to go. "That'll solve everybody's problems. Thank Yuki for the clothes when she wakes up. Tell her I'll figure out some way to repay her later."

"You can't leave," Tachi protested in a dangerous voice. "I have eyes everywhere, man. I'll follow you. I don't care where you go or what kind of allies you have, I'll track you down, Inu Yasha the Dog Demon, and I'll fuckin' kill your ass! This is personal."

Inu Yasha gave him a bored look, but just as he turned to go, Tachi added: "I know about you and Higurashi."

The demon froze in his tracks. "Who?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Tachi retorted. "Didn't I tell you I have eyes everywhere? Ears, too. One of my boys overheard your girlfriend talking to some of her buddies about you. I think it's love."

Inu Yasha shrugged. "She means nothing to me. Her family has a shrine, I'm a demon. Our kinds mix all the time." He continued walking away, not stopping this time, even when Tachi called after him:

"Be a shame if anything were to happen to such a beautiful girl!"

Shunusuke threw sand at him to shut him up. "Not if you want to land in jail, Tachimora."

He rolled his eyes. "Ooh. I'm scared. Thought maybe you'd sick your freak sister on me."

The paramedics appeared on the beach then, running toward the group. Shunusuke said: "We were defending ourselves against you. Keiichi and Karami will testify to what you did to them last night. Unlike you, my sister and I have spotless records. And who's going to believe that you fought a demon when the word of Asano goes against you?" He let his gaze rove over the other gang members. They returned his stare at first, then good sense got the better of them and they hung their heads. Even if they didn't fear the younger Asanos, they knew better than to temp their father's wrath. There would be no demon stories tonight.

* * *

Shippo arrived just ten minutes after Inu Yasha returned to the condo and almost got run over in the bigger demon's haste to leave. "What's up?" The little kitsune asked in a frightened voice. "They're taking some kid away down there. He's pretty beat up. Your work?"

"Where's Kagome, Shippo?" Inu Yasha asked him urgently and actually allowed himself to be pushed back into the house.

Shippo looked puzzled. "She's in her room at the Green Mermaid, why?"

Relief washed over Inu Yasha with enough force to turn his legs into noodles. He staggered over to a chair and flopped into it with a ragged sigh. "Go back there and make her lock her door," he ordered. "Tachi knows about us. One of his guys overheard her talking to you and that other girl about me."

"I have a better idea," said Keiichi from the couch. "Call her. You can get the number from the front desk at the Mermaid."

"Forget that," Shippo headed for the telephone, picked it up and brought it over to Inu Yasha. "Here. She gave me her phone number, so you can call her." He fished a piece of paper out of his kimono and handed that and the phone to his friend.

Inu Yasha stared at the phone, unable to make heads or tails of it, then held it out to Keiichi. "How do I work this thing?"

Keiichi didn't get up. "Push that green button to turn it on," Inu Yasha did and was rewarded with an annoying buzzing sound. "Good. Now press the buttons corresponding to the numbers on that piece of paper." He did. "Ok, you talk into that end and listen through that one. Put it against your head, so you can hear when she picks up."

Inu Yasha followed directions, putting the phone to his head as he'd seen Yuki do when ordering pizza the night before. It buzzed at him twice, then Kagome's cheerful voice said: "Hello! Kagome Higurashi!" He hesitated. She sounded so happy. How could he tell her what had just happened?

"It's me, Kagome," he said, letting his tone of voice put her into the proper frame of mind. "He knows about us."

She gasped. "Tachi, you mean. How?"

"He heard you talking to your friend and Shippo," Inu Yasha told her. "There's something else: Yuki almost killed one of Tachi's men. I don't think she meant to hurt him that badly."

Karami and Keiichi gasped at the same time as Kagome did. "She almost-" Karami began in horror, but Shippo waved her to silence.

"Yuki?" Kagome whispered. "What happened? Did she just lose control?"

Inu Yasha sighed. Kagome had seen weirder things than Yuki's attack. "She used some kind of power on him, a blue light from her hands, only it wasn't light. It hit him like a boulder and broke his face. Shunusuke called for an, " he tried to remember the word, "ambulance? Does that sound right?"

"Yes," she said. The catch in her voice told him she'd begun to cry. "Poor Yuki… Will the boy live, do you think?"

"I don't know," Inu Yasha replied quietly, "he was hurt pretty bad. Yuki was unconscious when I left-"

"Why did you leave?!" Kagome shrieked. "I can't believe-what if-"

"I had to!" He shouted back. "I didn't have my disguise on, and Shunusuke wanted me out of there before the ambulance got here." In a calmer voice, he added: "Anyway, the fight was over. Shunusuke even borrowed a phone from one of Tachi's men." He hesitated, then told her solemnly: "I don't think the Asanos are what they seem, Kagome."

Pause. "Why do you say that?"

"Tachi said I was a demon, just like the rest of Shunusuke's clan."

"The Asanos are demons?" Kagome snorted. "I think he was speaking metaphorically."

"No," Inu Yasha argued, "I felti when Yuki used her power. It was youkai power, but weak. Not like mine or a full demon's."

Neither of them said anything for a while. Inu Yasha listened to her breathe and thought of Yuki, seeing the Asano girl's hands sending a blast of power that could crush a boy's face. She'd collapsed afterwards, as if the power had come as a complete surprise to her, though she'd seemed to know what she was doing when preparing the attack. What were they? Did Shunusuke have that kind of power, too?

"I'm going home, Kagome," he told her finally, "and I want you to come with me. It's not safe for you here now that Tachi knows who you are."

"What?!" Kagome cried, confused. "You can't leave! I can't leave! No," she amended in the tone of voice she used when arguing with him over her returning to the future for school, "I won't be driven off by some stupid human! I've faced demons and survived, Inu Yasha. As long as you're here, too, I know I'll be safe."

Inu Yasha could just see her trembling with rage in his mind's eyes and had to smile. She could be so stubborn sometimes…and strong. Her words made him rethink his decision to leave: "I won't be driven off by some stupid human!" Well, neither would he. He was ashamed of himself for even considering it. Tachimora said it was personal, between the two of them. Fine. Then Inu Yasha would settle with Tachimora. That "stupid human" didn't know who he was dealing with.

"Alright," he said, "I'll stay and deal with Tachimora. He said it's between him and me, so if it's a fight he wants, I'll give it to him. But you stay in your room and lock the damn door, Kagome! Do you hear me?"

"I will not be a prisoner!" She snarled with enough ferocity to make him cringe. "He's not ruining my vacation, or anybody else's. We're gonna put him away, Inu Yasha-legally. We'll put him in jail. Him and his gang, so they can't hurt anybody anymore."

"But, Kagome," Inu Yasha argued, "they know what I am now!"

"Big deal."

He paused, not sure he heard her correctly. Shippo's sharp ears had picked up her words, too, and he raised his eyebrows curiously. "Maybe you didn't hear me-"

"I heard you," Kagome snapped. "I heard you just fine and I don't think it'll matter. You're a hero, Inu Yasha! Everybody's on your side and nobody's on Tachi's. In fact," she added smugly, "I think they'll think it's cool that you're a real youkai."

Cool? The humans will think he's cool because he's a demon? "What about Shippo?"

Kagome thought about it, but Shippo answered first. "Nobody knows I'm not human, so I can keep up my disguise."

Inu Yasha relayed his answer to Kagome, who chuckled. "I think he just doesn't want Rei to know he's a little kitsune boy and not a cute human who's old enough for her to date."

Inu Yasha turned a stern look on his little friend, who gulped. "It's not what you think!" Shippo assured him unconvincingly. "I just think she's nice-and I don't want her to know I've been sort of lying to her."

"You don't want her to know you're a little boy in youkai years," Inu Yasha scowled. "Don't lead her on, Shippo. I think you should come clean next time you see her. If I can't hide, neither can you."

"You keep saying that…"

Inu Yasha bared his fangs at the fox, who just bared his own in return. Meanwhile, Kagome said something then hung up the phone, leaving Inu Yasha with that odd buzzing noise again. "Kagome?" He shook the phone, then dropped it as her words finally crawled back into his conscious mind. "Oh no," he gasped and jumped out of his chair and ran for the door. "Kagome, you idiot!"

"WHAT?!" The others shouted after him. Shippo was hot on his heels as he opened the door to find Shunusuke standing there with Yuki in his arms.

"Get out of my way, Asano!" Inu Yasha grunted as he pushed past them and took off into the air, using the top step as a spring board. Shippo dove between Shunusuke's legs and dashed after Inu Yasha.

"I think Kagome's leaving the Mermaid!" The kitsune shouted over his shoulder by way of explanation.

Shunusuke ran into one of the bedrooms and deposited Yuki on the bed. As he ran through the living room again, he ordered Keiichi and Karami to lock the doors and look after his sister, then took off after the demons, slamming the front door behind him.

* * *

Kagome got as far as the stairs from the Green Mermaid to the beach before she crashed straight into Tachi's arms. "Excuse me," she tried to push away, but he held her fast. Irritated, she glared at him, then realized who it was and started to fight him in earnest. "Let me go!"

"I don't think so," he told her with a smile that chilled her blood. She'd seen scarier eyes on demons. "You're going to be my guest for a little while, Kagome Higurashi." Tachi grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back. Then he crushed her lips with his, smashing her body against him with the hand about her waist.

Kagome screamed and struggled, but he was too strong. He let her go with a satisfied gasp and grinned at her angry tears. But just when he opened his mouth to speak, something flashed past him, plucked her from his arms, then flashed away into the sky. Tachi was too shocked to do anything but stare after Inu Yasha as he flew away toward the Asano's house with Kagome on his back. "He can fly?"

Kagome wrapped her arms around Inu Yasha's neck and sobbed into his hair. "Thank you, Inu Yasha."

"I told you to stay put!" He shot back, but his anger was tempered with real fear for her. How dare that Tachimora bastard kiss her before he did?! It had probably been her first kiss, too (it had better have been her first). A first kiss should be with someone you wanted to kiss, not some asshole who wanted to- Inu Yasha cut off that thought before it went too far and got his imagination going. Kagome was safe now. He'd take her back to Shunusuke's, and she could stay with them. They'd protect her while he dealt with Tachimora.

So lost in thought was he that Inu Yasha almost missed the soft kiss she pressed against his cheek. The feathery sensation mixed with the hot wetness of her tears and the cold rain and made him shiver. "I wanted it to be…" she sniffled and hugged his neck more tightly until he touched down at the foot of the stairs to the condo. She slid off his back, and he turned to find tears still streaming down her face. Then she threw herself into his arms and sobbed: "I wanted it to be you the first time!"

Inu Yasha wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. It was her first kiss! That asshole! "I'll kill him," he thought in a hot rage, "I'll rip his-"

"Please…Inu Yasha. Make me forget." She looked up and closed her eyes.

Inu Yasha's breath caught his throat as he realized what she was asking of him. He licked his lips and buried his fingers in her wet hair. She was so beautiful with rain on her upturned face and her lips softly parted, waiting for him to kiss her. Him! He closed his eyes and-

"Inu Ya-oops! Sorry."

"Shunusuke!" Inu Yasha coughed, turning bright red.

Kagome's eyes fluttered open and she blushed and jumped out of Inu Yasha's arms. "Oh! Asano! Hi."

Shunusuke grinned. "Don't let me stop you," he said slyly and slipped past them and up the stairs into the house. Still blushing madly, Kagome dashed after him, leaving Inu Yasha holding his heart in the rain.


	7. Chapter 7

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Seven

Keiichi and Karami returned to their room at the Green Mermaid around nine Sunday night, under escort from Shunusuke and Inu Yasha, who remembered to wear a cap this time. Kagome spent the night at the Asano's, however. She sat on the edge of Yuki's bed and gently wiped the girl's forehead with a cool, damp wash cloth. When she did regain consciousness, Yuki cried until she fell asleep again. Kagome's presence seemed to comfort her, since she hadn't awakened in more than an hour. "Poor girl," Kagome thought, remembering all the fights she and Inu Yasha had been involved in. She hadn't killed anyone yet, but she knew it would tear her up as badly as it did Yuki. Just knowing she'd tried to kill people (demon-people, so far) was painful. How Inu Yasha could kill with a clear conscious was beyond Kagome's capacity to understand. Maybe it was the time he lived in, when the nation was at war with itself more often than not, or maybe it was just his violent nature (well, he was a demon after all). Kagome thanked the gods that she lived in a time of peace.

Memories of Inu Yasha in battle melded into less violent memories of him…less violent, yet still scary, always scary with him. She saw him human, beaten and bloodied, offering her his blood-smeared coat to cover her nakedness when she'd almost been boiled alive. With a little smile, she remembered the first time she'd seen Inu Yasha as a human, when the Spider Heads had poisoned him and he'd spent the night with his head cradled in her lap. She could still feel the silky texture of his dark hair on her fingertips, hear his quiet voice as he told her she had a nice smell.

Kagome closed her eyes and clenched her fist. "I can't believe I ran away!" He was going to kiss her, and she'd let her embarrassment over Shunusuke discovering them run her off! Inu Yasha must be furious with her. He'd barely spoken to her since and had merely grunted responses to other people. Inu Yasha in sulk mode. "I am such a jerk! He must think I'm a total flake!"

She sighed and went to the bedroom window. Not much of a view even when it wasn't dark: Just trees and through them something that glittered, which Kagome took to be the sea, but mostly it was just trees. She rested her elbows on the sill and set her chin on her knuckles with another sigh. What would his kiss feel like? Would it be nice? All warm and soft and gentle? Kagome closed her eyes and was in his arms again. He'd smelled like sweat and rain and fear, still keyed up from the fight and rescuing her from Tachi. That wild look in his eyes and alert prick to his ears were so familiar to her. She smiled at the memory of how safe she'd felt and how fast his heart had beat, like a trapped bird. She dreamed of his kiss on her lips, moving down her neck, his nose nuzzling her, sniffing, drinking in her scent.

Then suddenly he was there, standing behind her, waiting to be noticed. "Kagome?" He whispered, careful not to wake Yuki. "How is she?"

Kagome turned around and looked up with her eyes still shining from the memory—and it wasn't him at all. "Shunusuke," she coughed, and a flush crept across her cheeks. How had she mistaken Asano's voice for Inu Yasha's? "Oh, um, she hasn't woke up at all since you left. I think she'll be alright for the rest of the night, but someone really should stay with her."

Shunusuke nodded and sat on the edge of his sister's bed."He looks awful!" Kagome thought worriedly, then asked aloud: "Are you alright?"

He shrugged, turning a game smile on her. "I will be. I'm more worried about Yuki right now." His clothes were soaked and water dripped from his hair onto his shoulders and drizzled down his chest. Kagome took the cloth from Yuki's head and went to the bathroom to freshen it. Yuki had been sopping wet, too, when Kagome arrived. She and Karami had managed to get her undressed and into her nightshirt without waking her, but the sheets had been wet, so they'd had to wake Yuki up anyway to change them, which turned out to be a good thing, since Kagome needed to borrow some clothes, anyway. While they'd changed the sheets, Yuki had just sat in the chair in the corner of the room and shook and wept, her face as pale as a ghost's. That's how Shunusuke looked now, Kagome thought: Like a ghost. She lay the fresh cloth over Yuki's forehead and said softly: "You should put on some dry clothes before you catch cold, Shunusuke."

He nodded but didn't get up right away. "Would you like me to bring you something to wear?" Kagome asked. "That way you won't have to leave her. I don't mind." Shunusuke smiled. "Thank you, Kagome, but my things are just over there. I'll be alright."

Oh, right. She knew that. She'd been looking at his open suitcase ever since she entered the room. Kagome blushed. "How about some nice, hot tea, then?"

"That would be nice," he replied in a hollow voice, "thank you."

Kagome nodded and left, closing the door behind her so he'd have some privacy in which to change his clothes, and went to the kitchen to put on a kettle. Inu Yasha was already there, trying to figure out how the stove worked. He'd changed into dry clothes: Jeans and a white T-shirt, but his wet hair had already soaked the back of the shirt. The kettle of water sat on a burner, but he hadn't sorted out how to make the burner hot. From the look on his face, he was about to the lose the battle with his patience.

Kagome startled him by reaching between his body and the stove to turn the appropriate dial. "See, this one says 'left front', which is where you've set the kettle," Kagome explained, forcing a warm smile onto her face, "so you need to turn it on 'high'—meaning, high heat—so it gets hot enough to boil the water."

He nodded, choosing to fiddle with the boxes of tea bags rather than meet her eyes. Kagome lay her hand over his before he could get a box open, wrapped her fingers around his and gave them a little squeeze. "I'm sorry I ran away earlier," she whispered, moving close to him and looking into his face. He nodded again but still wouldn't look at her, so she released his hand and lightly touched his cheek, pressing until at last he turned his head and their eyes met. "I think I was still scared from the attack. I'm sorry. Are you angry with me?"

Angry? Hell no, he wasn't angry with her! He just felt stupid for being left in the lurch like that. He shook his head. Kagome slid both arms around his neck and leaned against him. Heart pounding like thunder, Inu Yasha put his arms around her. He closed his eyes, then opened them again with a sigh. He leaned down, and her eyes closed just as they had before. His lips touched hers, delicately at first, then firmly as he found his courage at last. Silk, he thought, warm, honey, soft, delicious. He inhaled her rain-fresh scent, delighted in the heat and softness of her body against his and the pounding of their hearts. He released her lips and trailed fleeting kisses over her cheeks, then down her throat, the fluttering of her pulse tickling him, then he caught her mouth again with passion.

The tea kettle's shrill demand for attention ended their tryst. Blushing happily, Kagome turned off the stove and helped Inu Yasha find tea cups for everyone and a tray for Shunusuke and Yuki. "That shirt is soaked," she teased with a tug at the garment in question. He pulled it off with a mischievous grin that turned decidedly smug when she gasped at the sight of his naked chest. He wasn't broad or bulky like Shunusuke, but rather lean and hard, and pleased her greatly. He left Kagome with the tray and went to his room to fish up another shirt. Shippo was crashed out on the bed, apparently napping, but his eyes opened when Inu Yasha opened the closet door. "Well?" The kitsune demanded. "Did you do it?"

Inu Yasha pulled the button down chambray shirt off its hanger, slipped his arms into it and pulled his hair out of the collar as he turned to face Shippo with a satisfied smirk. Without comment, he went into the bathroom to find a towel to dry his hair a little better, leaving Shippo giggling behind him. The kitsune was waiting for him in the living room when he emerged. Inu Yasha flopped onto the couch, then Kagome joined them with the teapot and three cups. She poured each of them some tea, then snuggled contentedly under Inu Yasha's arm to drink hers. Shippo grinned from ear to ear to see his two friends so cozy at last. Inu Yasha and Kagome just sort of glowed.

Next morning, sunrise. Inu Yasha had learned to sleep with his head at the end of the couch nearest the kitchen to keep from getting a sunbeam in the eye before he was ready to wake up. Fat lot of good it did him this morning. No matter how quiet humans might try to be, they couldn't sneak past his keen ears. Inu Yasha tried to ignore Shunusuke when he opened the doors onto the porch, tried to ignore the pleasant ocean breeze that blew into the room when he left them open, but it was no use. He was awake now and had just as well see how Asano was faring after last night's events. Shippo grumbled in his chair, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Shunusuke wore nothing but a pair of shorts, enjoying the way the cool breeze felt on his chest. He rested his forearms on the wet railing and stared sadly at the golden, pre-dawn glitter of the sea between the trees. The horizon glowed red and orange, but the sun hadn't shown itself yet. Poor Yuki. She'd never used her power on anything but inanimate objects, and even using restraint, she still shattered that boy's face. He bowed his head and silently thanked the gods that his power had manifested itself in a non-violent form. His was the power of the mind, telepathy and visions of past, present and future. Yuki's power was combative and destructive. Shunusuke sighed as he wondered what power his little brother would show as he grew older, hoping it was gentle, like his own.

He didn't turn when Inu Yasha mimicked his pose beside him and asked abruptly: "Tell me where your family gets youkai power."

Asano stared at his hands for a few moments, then looked up at the trees again. "My father is half-youkai, like you. A demon raped his mother—supposedly as some kind of retribution for something my family had done to him. I don't think she was supposed to survive the attack, but our women have always been unusually stubborn and strong." The corner of his mouth lifted in a wry half smile. "Maybe you've noticed. Would you believe Yuki was exercising restraint when she zapped that boy last night?"

Inu Yasha frowned; that was restraint? They were silent for a while before Shunusuke continued: "It happened more than four hundred years ago. Father says he hunted the demon for years, to avenge his mother, then he had a vision of the demon's death and realized he was wasting his time, since it would have nothing to do with him." Shunusuke knit his fingers, then let them drop apart again. "Father saw that the demon's own brother would kill him—and that's just what happened."

"Four hundred years ago?" Inu Yasha mused. "That's a long time."

"About your time," Shunusuke told him, still not meeting his eyes.

Inu Yasha scratched behind an ear. He knew of a lot of demons in his time. Maybe it was one he'd heard of. Knowing what kind of demon had committed the rape would help him better understand the nature of Yuki's power. "Did your father tell you the demon's name or what kind of demon it was?"

Shunusuke made a sour face and spat: "A dog-demon named Sesshomaru."

"What?!" Inu Yasha grabbed the human by his shoulders and shook him. The look in his eyes made Shunusuke flinch. "Sesshomaru?" Inu Yasha shook him again. "Is that what you said? Sesshomaru?!"

Shippo appeared in the doorway, now very much awake. "Sesshomaru raped your grandmother?" He stammered. "You're descended from—holy gods, Inu Yasha! Do you know what that means?"

Shunusuke shook himself free of the demon's grasp. "What's Sesshomaru to you? Friend or enemy?"

Inu Yasha ran his hands through his hair and leaned against the railing again to digest what Shunusuke had just told him. Sesshomaru had raped a human woman and sired a child. Why hadn't he heard of this? Maybe it hadn't happened yet in his time. Then something else Shunusuke had said sunk in: Sesshomaru was killed by his own brother. Heh. That had to be the best news he'd had in ages. He was destined to slay the insufferable, conceited asshole Sesshomaru.

"Inu Yasha…" Shunusuke turned him about by the shoulder."

"He's my brother."

Shunusuke could only blink at him in wonder for a few moments while that information registered. "Did he have any other brothers?"

Inu Yasha shook his head. "Just me," he replied with a smug little grin. "So I'll kill the asshole, eh? Any idea when that'll happen?"

"You mean, it hasn't happened yet in your time?" Inu Yasha shook his head, still grinning happily. A delightful vision of Sesshomaru perishing on the edge of the Tetsusaiga danced in his mind. Marvelous, he thought, absolutely fantastic. Wait till he told Kagome about this! Sesshomaru was one person he knew she wouldn't mind seeing him kill. "No love lost, then?" Shunusuke pressed him. "He's your enemy?

"The demons chuckled. "He hates me because my mother was human," Inu Yasha explained, "and because I was my father's favorite, since he actually loved my mother and never loved Sesshomaru's." He turned to lean his back against the rail and smile at the heavens. "We spend a lot of time trying to kill each other. See, he wants our father's sword, which Father willed to me, and can only be used by one with human blood."

"And to protect a human," Shippo interjected helpfully. Inu Yasha nodded. "Right." He had been the one who was supposed to inherit all of his father's wealth and lands, but Inu Yasha didn't tell them that. He'd been too young and weak to defend himself against his older brother when his parents died, so Sesshomaru had taken everything for himself, leaving baby brother to live the life of an outcast. Their paths hadn't crossed again until Sesshomaru's quest for the Tetsusaiga had led him to Inu Yasha.

"I guess that makes you, what?" Shunusuke was saying thoughtfully. "My great uncle?"

A great uncle? What a bizarre thought, though not nearly as bizarre or ironic as Sesshomaru having a half-human son. It was perfect! Sesshomaru hated humans so much, it was fitting that he have a half-blood son. Inu Yasha wondered when this rape would take place, or if it already had, and his brother was just incredibly good at keeping secrets. Ah, but hadn't Shunusuke said his father had hunted Sesshomaru for a time before having his vision? Surely, he would've heard of a human hunting his brother. Unless it happened while he'd been pinned to the tree by Kikyo's enchanted arrow. If the whole thing had come and gone during that time, it was possible he wouldn't have heard about it. Inu Yasha decided to look up the Asano family when he returned to his own time and get to the bottom of this. Or maybe he could just ask Shunusuke's father in this time."I want to talk to you father," Inu Yasha declared, earning a wry smile from Shunusuke. "What? Won't he talk to me?"

"Oh, he'll talk to you alright," Shunusuke chuckled. "He'll be thrilled to talk to you. I'm smiling because I don't know how much I want him down here with all the trouble Yuki and I have been getting into. He won't be happy to know we're trying to solve this problem on our own."

Inu Yasha frowned. "You said you can't involve law enforcement. What else would your father want you to do?"

"Let him handle it." Shunusuke turned around and swirled his finger in a tiny puddle on the railing. "He'd send out his personal guard—more like ninja in expensive Italian suits and sunglasses—to 'encourage' Tachimora and his boys to clear out."

Inu Yasha failed to see why that was such a bad idea and said so. "You don't get it," Shunusuke slapped his hand onto the rail, splashing rainwater onto his chest where it glistened like little bits of gold in the new morning light. "I can't go through my whole life with daddy handling every problem I get into! He's everywhere, all the time, like an overbearing mother hen, like he thinks Yuki and I are made of glass! I'd think he already knew what was going on down here, only I haven't noticed any of his men roaming around."

"Some ninja," Shippo snorted, "if they're so easy for you to spot! I can hide better than that!"

Shunusuke shook his head. "I don't 'spot them' with my eyes, Shippo. I sense them," he tapped his skull with a wink. "Yuki got the killer energy, I got the Jedi mind tricks."

"The-?" Inu Yasha and Shippo asked at once.

Shunusuke hastened to explain. "It's from a movie. Star Wars. The mystics in the movie are called Jedi and they have these mental powers that enable them to move things around and talk to each other with their thoughts. They even get visions. One of the bad guys in these movies calls it 'Jedi mind trick'." He shrugged. "Pretty good movies, actually. I think we have the tapes here, if you want to watch them some night. They're even subtitled in Japanese, so you'll know what's going on.

"The demons just smiled and nodded, pretending to understand. Shunusuke wasn't fooled. "You guys have no clue what I'm talking about, do you?" They shook their heads in unison. "Didn't think so."

* * *

Inu Yasha broke the news about Sesshomaru to Kagome over breakfast. As he'd expected, she freaked out. "You guys are Sesshomaru's grandchildren?! I can't believe you're related to Inu Yasha! This is so cool!" She coughed and hastened to amend: "I mean, except for the Sesshomaru part."

They gobbled omelets made by Shunusuke, who was as good with a spatula as he was with a practice sword. Yuki just picked at her food and sighed miserably. After a half hour of that, her brother got fed up and told her pointedly: "The boy will recover, Yuki. I feel it." When that only got him a skeptical look, he demanded: "When have I ever been wrong?"

She pushed egg around her plate with her chopsticks and sighed again. "I'm going to the hospital today to see what I can find out anyway." "What if they have you arrested?" Kagome argued.

To which Yuki replied impatiently: "If they were going to have me arrested, they'd have done it by now." Shunusuke agreed. "I don't think they'll have her arrested," he told them, then added as he popped a piece of food into his mouth: "I put the fear of Dad into them last night."

Yuki dropped her chopsticks with a clatter and jumped to her feet, tipping her chair over onto the floor in her anger. "You did what?! Shunusuke! I can't believe you involved Daddy in this!"

"I didn't 'involve' him," Shunusuke told her, "I just threatened to if they told the authorities about Inu Yasha. Sit down, Yuki."

Inu Yasha was more worried about how these "authorities" would interpret the boy's claims about how he got his injuries. Would they believe a girl had shot blue light at him to smash his face? If he and Shippo were supposed to be a secret, then it was unlikely people in this time were used to seeing or hearing about Yuki's kind of power. How could that be explained away? He saw the attack again in his mind and remembered what Shunusuke had said: That was Yuki using restraint. He watched her as she righted her chair and sat down to finish her omelet with a disgusted look on her face. The attack had left her all torn up with worry over the damage she'd done to a human. "And she's Sesshomaru's granddaughter?" He thought incredulously. Sesshomaru wouldn't have given that boy a second thought. Of course, Sesshomaru probably wouldn't have left him alive, either. He looked at Yuki and Shunusuke more closely, struggling to find a hint of his brother in their human faces. They were handsome kids (Yuki was especially lovely), with delicate features like Sesshomaru's, but that was were the resemblance ended. Their hair and eyes were dark brown and their skin fair and utterly devoid of blemish. Yuki's small mouth reminded him of his brother's, perhaps because it was usually saying something to irritate him.

"Let me see that picture of your family again," he said to Yuki. Her father had been in it, but Inu Yasha didn't recall that anything about the man had given him pause. He'd seemed to be just another middle-aged Japanese human male, going a bit a gray at the temples and a tad soft in the mid section. Yuki didn't move. "It won't do you any good," she muttered. "He dyes his hair and wears contact lenses to hide his youkai eyes. You can't tell what he is from looking at him."

"I want to see his features," Inu Yasha retorted, getting up to find her purse and retrieve the picture himself. "My brother's features are very distinctive, aren't they, Kagome?"

Kagome grunted over a mouthful of food: "I think he looks like a girl."

"You, too?" Shippo exclaimed. "I thought he was Inu Yasha's sister the first time I saw him."

Yuki realized what Inu Yasha was doing and followed him into her bedroom. "You don't go into a woman's purse, Dog Boy!" They heard her scold him. That was followed by the sound of what was probably her purse connecting with something solid, likely his body if his yelp was any indication. Then she stomped out of her room, carrying her purse in one hand and her wallet in the other, Inu Yasha on her heels rubbing his arm. They sat down again, and she pulled the picture out of its plastic sheath inside her wallet. "There," she barked, slapping the picture down next to his plate. "Does Daddy look like his father the demon rapist?"

"Sesshomaru does a lot of cruel things," Inu Yasha growled as he studied Asano's face, "but this is the first I've heard of him raping anyone. He usually ignores humans, in the same way you might ignore ants as you walked along a path." He picked up the picture and held it closer to his face. "I wonder what your family did that made him think raping one of your women would be an appropriate punishment." The elder Asano smiled back at him, frozen in a happy moment in time with his arms around his wife and Shunusuke, whose arm was around Yuki. Little Kei rested on his mother's hip. They were all making a weird, split-fingered sign at whoever stood in front of them, out of the picture. Asano-san didn't look as intimidating as his reputation according to Shunusuke. In fact, Inu Yasha thought he looked rather friendly, but then looks could be deceiving. Sesshomaru was a very beautiful demon, with pleasant features and an impeccable wardrobe but inside he was nothing but cold and cruel. The younger Asanos got their good looks from their father, Inu Yasha decided, though their mother was pretty, as well—in a round-eyed sort of way. Her hair was dark, shot through with gray and worn cropped short over her ears. Not very feminine, the demon thought, the soft texture of Kagome's long tresses coming to mind. Hm. The youngest boy looked a bit more like his mother than his father.

Kagome and Shippo left their chairs to look over his shoulder at the picture. "Why are they doing that with their hands?" Shippo asked, looking to Kagome for an answer.

The humans looked embarrassed as Kagome replied: "I have no idea. It's just this Japanese thing. Everybody does it." Shippo and Inu Yasha looked at her like she'd just sprouted horns. "No, really. Everybody makes a victory sign when they get a candid picture taken."

The Asano kids nodded their sheepish agreement. "That is so weird," Shippo muttered and went back to looking for Sesshomaru in Asano-sama's face. "He doesn't look like Sesshomaru," he said after a little while.

Yuki rolled her eyes. "I told you: He dyes his hair and wears colored contact lenses. His hair is normally white and he has eyes like Inu Yasha's. I've only seen him like that a couple times, though."

Shunusuke nodded. "Same here. He took off his disguise when he told us the truth about himself—each of us, individually, when we turned ten. I'm not sure why that was a magic number with him…"

Inu Yasha tried to imagine the man in the picture with hair and eyes like his own, but it didn't make him look much more like Sesshomaru. Maybe it was his big, happy smile that was spoiling it. Sesshomaru never looked happy, even when he had the upper hand in a fight. Yuki took the picture from under his nose and tucked it back into her wallet. "Daddy says he looks like his mother," she said impatiently. "Except for the hair and eyes, I guess. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you told him he looks like your brother, Inu Yasha."

"Don't worry," the demon grouched back, "he doesn't."

* * *

Later…

"No, Kagome!" Inu Yasha snapped. "It's safer if you stay here. Shunusuke can have your things brought to you. Right?" He gave Shunusuke a very pointed look. When Asano tried to wriggle out of the argument, the look turned dangerous.

"Well, I could do that…sure…" Shunusuke agreed unconvincingly. He felt like a total stranger being dragged into a marital dispute.

"See?!" Inu Yasha turned back to Kagome with a nagging sense of deja vous. Didn't they just have this argument Saturday morning at the well?

Kagome seethed. "I'll be fine if you escort me back, Inu Yasha. Like you did with Keiichi and Karami."

"They're not my girlfriend!" He hissed back, then choked when he realized what he'd just said.

Kagome's eyes fluttered at him in surprise. "I'm your…girlfriend? Really? Do you mean that?"

Shunusuke collected Shippo and Yuki and headed for the porch. "What a beautiful day! Don't you guys think it's a beautiful day? I think we should go outside and enjoy this—"

"Get back here!" Inu Yasha ordered, stopping the trio in their tracks. They turned on their heels and nervously slunk back to sit very primly in their chairs in the living room. Kagome and Inu Yasha resumed their face-off by the kitchen counter.

Kagome jerked Inu Yasha's face around using his handy forelock handles. "Don't evade the question!"

"I'm not evading anything!" He growled back and brushed her hands away. "Yes, you're my girlfriend, ok? I mean, if that's what _you_ want…"

Kagome blushed and shyly rubbed the back of her head. "Um…sure. If that's what _you_ want…"

"Well, I want it if you do…"

"Ok…" Kagome blushed some more and twirled a lock of her hair while staring at her toes. "If you want it that way, I want it that way…"

Nervous pause, then Shippo piped up with: "So are you guys an item, or not?!" They blushed at him. He rolled his eyes. "Oh for crying out loud. You two are so pathetic."

Kagome tossed her head and turned her back on him. "Oh, like you're all over telling Rei you like her."

"I just met her yesterday!" Shippo retorted, but he was blushing under the scrutiny of the others in the room. "I think she's nice…"

"And…" Shunusuke prodded.

Shippo scratched his head. "And cute…I guess…"

"And…" Kagome prodded.

The fox grinned. "And she looks really cute in that tiny swimsuit she was wearing yesterday!" He coughed and amended quickly: "But that doesn't mean I _like her _like her, just that I like her. Not like you guys! It's definitely _like _like with you…right?"

Inu Yasha raised a confused eyebrow. "What in the hell did you just say, fox?"

"That we're a couple," Kagome translated. "Aren't we?"

"Uh…" Inu Yasha gulped, blushed, played with one of his ears, smiled feebly. "Yeah. If…that's what you want…"

Yuki threw a coaster at him. "You've already been over that! She wants you, you want her, you're a frickin' couple, ok?! Just say it! It's soooo easy!" She fluttered her eyelashes and imitated Kagome's voice: "I love you, Inu Yasha," then looked macho and imitated Inu Yasha's voice: "I love you, too, Kagome," then she snarled at them: "Then you kiss! Easy. Do it. Now."

Kagome and Inu Yasha blanched and sweated at her, glanced at each other, couldn't handle it and turned their backs to each other instead. "L-love?" Inu Yasha stammered at the same time Kagome stuttered, "I don't kn-know…"

Shippo buried his face in his hands. Shunusuke tried very hard not to laugh and failed horribly. Yuki got really pissed, stomped over to the couple, turned them about, then pushed them together with a strength that surprised both nervous so-called lovers. "Say it, dammit!"

"Yuki," Shunusuke chuckled, "they'll say it when they're ready."

Shippo added: "Yeah, Yuki, leave 'em alone."

"SAY IT!"

Gulp. Sweat. Shiver. "Uh…K-Kagome…I…uh…"

Then the phone rang, startling everybody in the room. The only one who didn't dive for it was Yuki, who was still determined to get a confession out of Inu Yasha and Kagome. Inu Yasha grabbed the phone first, pushed the on button and said: "What do you want?"

Kagome snatched it out of his hands and apologized to whoever was at the other end. To her surprise it was Rei. "Hi, Rei. How'd you know I was here?"

Stupid question. "Well, I heard that Tachi attacked you outside the hotel last night, and Inu Yasha—" she hesitated, then asked in a hushed voice: "Can he really fly, Kagome? Tachi's been telling everybody Inu Yasha's a real, live demon!"

Kagome took a deep breath and shot a frightened glance at Inu Yasha, who was standing close enough for his keen ears to hear what Rei said. "What if he is?" Kagome asked hesitantly. "What do you think of that?"

Rei didn't even need to think about it. "I think it's totally cool! We need a supernatural power to beat a guy like Tachi. Oh! That's what I'm calling about! Put Inu Yasha back on!"

Kagome handed him the phone, the stern expression on her face warning him to be more polite this time. "What's he done now?" Inu Yasha demanded wearily, and Kagome threw up her hands in disgust and went to flop into one of the living room chairs.

Rei whispered even more quietly: "I went downstairs for breakfast this morning," she began nervously, "but none of the staff was there. There were just these guys…they looked sort of Yakuza, I mean, like a serious gang, not like Tachimora's. They're just a bunch of kids. These guys are adults. And I think they have guns." She gulped. "I pretended I forgot something and came back to my room to call you. You can't come back here all by yourself, Inu Yasha! I think it's a trap for you."

"Fuck."

Kagome stopped being angry at his bad manners right then and there. "What is she telling you, Inu Yasha?" She got up slowly, swallowing hard against the chill in her belly.

Inu Yasha ignored her for the time being. He'd just had a very bad feeling about Rei. Tachi had seen her with Kagome and Shippo. Shippo and Kagome were here with them, but Rei was alone at the hotel, unguarded and probably helpless against both the amateurs and the professionals. "Stay in your room, Rei," he advised her in a tone that tolerated no argument and got none. "Lock the door and don't let anybody in. Don't go out. Do you understand me?"

She started to cry. "Why? You don't think they'd—"

"Tachi saw you with Kagome and Shippo yesterday," Inu Yasha interrupted. "Kagome and Shippo are here with me, but you're vulnerable. Just do as I say!"

Kagome gasped. Rei! She was all alone over there! Someone had to go get her before the gang did! "Inu Yasha, you have to go get her!"

"That's a good girl," he told Rei. "I'm calling the police," Rei sobbed.

Inu Yasha shook his head vehemently. "No! Let us do that! I'm going to let you talk to Shunusuke now, ok? Tell him what you told me." He handed the phone to Asano, then started to pace between the counter and the glass doors to consider his options.

Kagome and Shippo paced with him. Yuki hung by her brother, trying to hear what was being said on the other end of the phone line. With her other ear, she listened to Inu Yasha. "Tachi called in reinforcements," he explained. "Rei says they're older than Tachi's usual gang and thinks they might have guns." He paused for an instant, then resumed pacing. "What are guns, Kagome?"

"Firearms," she told him, matching him step for step. "Probably handguns, meaning small enough to fit in your hand."

"Like a musket?" Shippo asked.

Kagome nodded. "Right, only more advanced and a lot smaller."

"Shit," the demons muttered together. "This is bad," Shippo added.

Inu Yasha stopped, and they stopped with him. "Is it? I've never fought an opponent who has a…gun. What does it do, aside from make a lot of noise?"

"It shoots a lead slug into your body at a super-high velocity," Yuki explained coolly as Shunusuke hung up the phone and joined them in the living room. "It also has an extremely long range, so your opponent could be too far away for you to prevent him from shooting at you, and once the shot is fired, the slug is too small to be seen and can only be dodged with the best of reflexes—and a lot of luck." She sat down and continued thoughtfully: "I can slow a bullet with my power enough to ruin its destructive capabilities, but I can't stop one completely." Kagome's eyes went wide. "You've tried it before?!"

"Just with blanks," Yuki assured her. "Daddy's too overprotective to let me practice with live ammunition."

"Speaking of your 'daddy'," Inu Yasha cut in, "this might be the time to tell him what's going on." He turned a serious look on Shunusuke. "You said you scared Tachi's men just by threatening to call your father. They don't know he's youkai, so what scared them? Those 'ninja in expensive Italian suits' that Yuki mentioned?"

The siblings exchanged worried looks and didn't say anything for a few moments, then they seemed to come to some kind of agreement and nodded. Shunusuke explained: "They're not ninja," he smiled and laughed a little, "well, not as such. They're youkai—full-blooded youkai. That's why I can sense them, and probably you can, too, when they're around." He nodded to Shippo. "Most of them are kitsune, who he hired for their shape changing abilities, but there are other, human-like varieties on my father's private payroll."

Youkai for hire? Mercenary demons? Inu Yasha and Shippo raised their eyebrows at that concept. In their day, no demon with any pride would allow itself to be hired by any but another full-blooded demon, if at all. The senior Asano must be some man to have earned enough respect in youkai circles to for them to accept his money. "I've never heard of mercenary youkai," Inu Yasha told Shunusuke after a while. "Your father must be a very powerful man."

Yuki snorted her contempt, but Shunusuke was the one who responded. "He has led one of Japan's wealthiest and most influential families for more than four hundred years—and managed to keep the truth about himself a secret from all but his wives and children. Any who break his confidence," he shrugged, "disappear."

Kagome shivered and snuggled against Inu Yasha's side. "You mean, he has them killed?"

Shunusuke shook his head. "I don't know. I just know nobody ever hears from them again."

"So let's make Tachi and his people 'disappear'," Inu Yasha growled. "Call your father and have him send his youkai down here to take care of these—"

"No!" Shunusuke and Yuki snapped at the same time. "I won't involve him in this. We'll call the police and let them handle it."

"And tell them what about Inu Yasha?" Kagome argued. "How do you explain him?"

Shunusuke turned a level gaze on Shippo, who made himself smaller against the seat cushions. "Shippo could impersonate him, minus the demon parts. Who's going to believe a guy like Tachimora when he says he saw a man with dog ears?"

Yuki shook her head. "It won't work. Inu Yasha doesn't have a past in our time. There's no official record of his birth or life. The cops'll be all over that."

"Then someone will invent one for him," Shunusuke told her on reflex, then realized what he was suggesting. "Which brings us back to dad. Shit."

"So call him!" Inu Yasha insisted. "Unless you think we can still handle this on our own…" For once in his life he actually had doubts that he could handle a bunch of violent humans on his own. Frankly, Yuki's description of guns was making a cautious man out of him. She said her power could slow down "a bullet" but she hadn't said anything to indicate she could slow down more than one at the same time, and there would be many if all of the newcomers had these guns.

Shunusuke and Yuki did some more silent communication and from their expressions, seemed to be arguing. After a few minutes of brow furrowing and frowning, Yuki gave a triumphant hmph, and Shunusuke turned his back on her and sulked.

"Well?" Inu Yasha demanded. "What that all about?"

"I win," Yuki declared smugly. "We call Daddy."

"I thought you were the one who didn't want daddy to know what you did with your power last night," Inu Yasha growled back. "Are you afraid of those men with guns."

She gave him a withering look. "You betcha, Dog Boy, and you should be, too. Shunusuke, make the call. You better check up on Keiichi and Karami, too, while you're at it. Meanwhile," she pushed herself off the chair and offered her hand to Inu Yasha, "you and I are going to go get Shippo's cute, little girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!"


	8. Chapter 8

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Eight

Inu Yasha alighted upon the balcony outside of Rei's hotel room on a spot where the curtain would hide them from anyone inside and let Yuki slide off his back. He wore his familiar old clothes, hoping the Fire Rat fur would afford him some protection from guns. Yuki scooted to the edge of the curtain and snuck a quick peek inside. Rei was on the bed, bound hand and foot with a cord. At first Yuki thought the girl was alone in there, which didn't make sense, then someone moved on the other side of the curtain, and Yuki ducked back out of the line of sight against Inu Yasha.

"She's tied up," Yuki mouthed to her companion, communicating the same message with gestures, "and not alone."

"I could've told you that much," Inu Yasha shot back under his breath. He tapped one of his ears to tell her he could hear the room's inhabitants.

As if on cue, a man in a dark suit peered through the glass door. He held a small handgun in one hand, its barrel pointed at the ceiling. Inu Yasha wrapped an arm around Yuki and jumped over the side of the balcony to dangle from the floor with his free hand. He silently congratulated her for not making so much as a peep. He heard the door slide open and the man step out onto the little porch and was just wondering how to get into the supports on the underside of the balcony when Yuki reached out and hung herself off of one of them, leaving his arm free so he could follow her. "Smart girl," he thought, "almost as if she's done this before." The man over their heads walked to the edge of the balcony and looked over the rail, moving himself around the perimeter until, apparently satisfied that no one was there, he went back inside and closed the door.

Yuki and Inu Yasha counted slowly to three, then retraced their path back onto the balcony. Yuki tugged Inu Yasha's sleeve to get his attention, pointed to herself, then to the other side of the balcony, pointed at him, then down at his feet. He nodded understanding, then made a quizzical face and mouthed: "What're you gonna do?" She answered him with a pantomime of her breaking the glass door and using her power on the man. He shook his head vehemently and held up a finger for her to wait while he took off his coat and handed it to her. He'd had a feeling it would come to this, just as it had with Kagome. Silly, weak-skinned human planned to put herself into mortal danger without armor. She raised an eyebrow, and he mouthed: "Armor. Put it on."

She nodded and obeyed, then took a deep breath, glanced at him to make sure he was ready, then dove into action. Shattering the door with a burst of energy, she jumped through it into the room and aimed another burst at the place where the man had been—but the only other person in the room was Rei. Yuki cursed very colorfully, then asked in disgust: "Ok, which one are you?"

Inu Yasha came in behind her and slashed through Rei's bonds with his claws. "Where's the—shit."

There was a shimmer, then a tall, beautiful man in a dark suit and sunglasses stood by the broken door. He removed the shades to check out Yuki's handiwork. Shaking his head, he sighed: "Yuki-san, you're so reckless."

Yuki gulped. "Tsurai-Shi."

Inu Yasha made as if to charge the man, but Yuki's arm shot out and caught him the chest with enough force to stop him. "He works for my father," she explained in a hollow voice. "He's called Tsurai-Shi and he's in charge of my father's personal guard."

Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes at the pretty young man whose name meant Bitter Death. An assassin? But…"You smell like a kitsune, Tsurai-Shi," he said the name with a mocking sneer. "I've never known a kitsune to have a name like that."

"You've never known a kitsune like him," Yuki muttered beside him.

Tsurai spent a few moments straightening his attire and smoothing his short, dark hair. Then, with a mischievous grin, he flicked his hand over the top of his head and had just enough time to display a leaf for them before he was wrapped in golden sparks. When they cleared, Tsurai sported pointed ears, youkai eyes, fangs, claws and a bushy black tail. Pinned under his waistband, the tail stuck straight up and fanned out like a peacock's tail. He reached under his jacket, unbuttoned a button at the top of his trousers, and his tail flopped down into its proper position, then he buttoned the button again. Tsurai giggled at them: "Ta-da!"

Rei curled into a little ball on the bed and sobbed. "Inu Yasha…do something!"

Inu Yasha snarled at her to be quiet, then folded his arms and made a grouchy noise. Great. A kitsune with a deadly name and a lethal weapon. Shippo with a serious mean streak. Unless this was some weird kitsune prank and Tsurai would be as easily subdued as Shippo. How many more of Asano's foxes were running around the resort, and what had happened to Tachi's people? All at once, his train of thought ground to a halt, and the realization that stopped it burst his bubble about his new friend Shunusuke. "Wait a minute," he snarled at Yuki, "if the men Rei saw work for your father, and your father only uses demons for these jobs, and Shunusuke is able to sense them—why didn't he?" He cracked his knuckles at the thought that Shunusuke might have betrayed him. "Or maybe he did sense them and didn't tell us for some reason."

Yuki blinked for a few seconds, then headed for the phone on the nightstand by the bed. "No wonder he didn't want me to call Daddy," she muttered as she picked up the receiver and started to dial the number to the condo, "he was already here! Damn you, Shunusuke! You always leave me out of the loop!"

Tsurai was at her side in a flash of movement. He took the phone out of her hand and put it back in its cradle. "Asano-sama made that decision."

Yuki seethed. She looked at Inu Yasha with real fear in her eyes and balled her fists at her sides. Without looking up at Tsurai she asked in a tight voice: "What does Daddy want me to do?"

* * *

Tsurai escorted Inu Yasha and Yuki to the lobby, leaving Rei alone and crying in her hotel room. Before they left, Tsurai tore the phone cord in half, searched Rei's belongings and confiscated a cellular phone. "We're watching," he told her in a teasing voice that sent a chill down the girl's spine, "so don't leave this room." The elevator let them out into a giant room that was empty, except for four youkai and three oni who stood in two neat rows down the center of the lobby. They were dressed as Tsurai was, but where he'd hid his true appearance, this lot showed themselves openly. Two of the oni were females, as was one of the kitsune. Not the giant, hideous sort of oni—these more resembled Yura of the Hair in their humanlike appearance. What gave them away were their horns and terrible red eyes. No two of the kitsune were the same color: Tsurai was black, the other three were red, silver and brown. None of them looked like the man he'd seen in Yuki's picture.

Inu Yasha stopped where the line of suits began and let Yuki and Tsurai continue on to the center. He looked around the lobby and through the glass entry doors. Where were the throngs of vacationers that had been there yesterday? And where was Tachimora? Surely Asano hadn't made that many people disappear with just eight youkai and oni! Something was terribly wrong here.

Asano's minions inclined their heads in unison to Yuki (or was that to Tsurai?), who snorted indignantly in return. "Assholes," she muttered, then warned in a louder voice: "I expect to get an explanation for all of this right now! Why was Rei still tied up when I arrived, Tsurai? Where is everybody? And what about Tachimora and his—"

"Tachimora and his gang have disappeared."

Yuki spun about at the sound of her father's soft, cool voice. He stood behind her with a placid smile on his face, but his eyes were hard. This wasn't the human face Inu Yasha had seen in the photograph but his true face with all of its demonic characteristics: Pointed ears; short, white hair; gold, cat-like eyes and claws. And no gut. The man was as lean and fit as Inu Yasha himself. Inu Yasha had a very bad feeling about Asano which wasn't helped by the fact that the man scared his own daughter enough for her to break a sweat.

"The guests have been encouraged to remain in their rooms and the staff to take some time off…elsewhere." the senior Asano continued in his soothing voice. "As for your friend, I ordered Tsurai to make sure the bait didn't go anywhere before we were through with it. I left the details to him." He smiled. "Don't worry, Yuki-chan, my business here won't take long. Everything will be back to normal before the day is out."

In contrast to his suit-clad employees, Asano wore khaki walking shorts, a short-sleeved madras plaid shirt and loafers. The only things that showed him to be a businessman who wasn't on holiday (aside from his demon parts) were the pair of beepers and a tiny cellular phone clipped to his belt. There was something vaguely unsettling about such ordinary attire on a man who blithely referred to a human being as "it".

Yuki's gaze dropped humbly to her toes, and her fists clenched at her sides. "Daddy, why didn't you tell me you were coming? I'm so embarrassed."

Her father took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead, then ran a finger along the shoulder of Inu Yasha's coat. She looked at him with an expression that was a mixture of hurt and anxiety, but his attention was already off of her and onto Inu Yasha. Asano beckoned him closer, and the other demon unfolded his arms and moved just close enough to smell the newcomer but not close enough that the man could reach out and touch him. Something about Yuki's father was very wrong. Inu Yasha sniffed, catching Asano's scent mixed with the spicy cologne he was wearing and the smell of clean cotton. Human and youkai but… His nose twitched as he watched Asano gently push Yuki aside and close the small distance between them. Inu Yasha wanted to move back, put more space between himself and the older demon, but his pride rooted him in place. Neither man would bow to the other, not even the slightest inclination of the head. They just stood in each other's personal spaces and locked gazes, each taking the measure of the other with their noses.

Inu Yasha ended the staring match with a self-satisfied snort. "You're not Sesshomaru's son. Who are you?"

Asano clearly hadn't expected that reaction, and his expression suddenly went very dark. To either side of him, his mercenaries unbuttoned their jackets, ready to move on his command, but Asano raised a hand, a silent order to stand down. "Why do you say I'm not Sesshomaru's son, Inu Yasha?" He asked in a velvety, steel-edged voice.

Inu Yasha folded his arms and smirked, allowing his fangs to show over his lips. "I know Sesshomaru's scent and our father's scent. You don't smell like any of my blood. Why did you claim to be Sesshomaru's son? To trick me? Why?"

Asano's eyes narrowed and his mouth turned ever so slightly downward. He glanced at his watch thoughtfully, then motioned with his hand at his mercenaries. "Leave us." In a flicker that even Inu Yasha nearly missed, the mercs disappeared, leaving just Inu Yasha and the Asanos in the lobby. Asano smiled and politely directed Inu Yasha to a collection of leather chairs in a corner near the back of the large room. Ignored, Yuki started to follow, but her father stopped her. "This is between us, Yuki. Give him his coat and return to the condo. I'll join you there when Inu Yasha and I have finished our talk."  
Yuki trembled with rage and her entire body glowed with her blue attack energy but she kept her mouth shut and obeyed. Inu Yasha caught his coat which she threw at his face and watched her practically blow the front doors off their hinges on her way out. He refused to take the seat Asano offered him, instead choosing to put on his coat and lean against a nearby post. None of this pleased Yuki's father, something that gave Inu Yasha great satisfaction. "So, who are you really?" He asked.

Asano looked quite calm as he struck a casual pose in the overstuffed chair, but his eyes boiled with cold, calculating fury. He forced himself to smile, though it was anything but friendly. "Let me show you something, Inu Yasha." He held up his wrist with the watch face toward the young demon. "Look at the hands on this watch. I think you'll find they're rather unique."

Inu Yasha hesitated, wondering if this was some kind of trick and the watch might explode in his face, or something, but he left the post to have a look anyway. Another bloody machine, thought Inu Yasha, who instantly deduced that the little metal gizmo marked time. Then he saw what Asano wanted him to see: Two tiny shards of the Shikon Jewel, attached at their ends to the center of a disk marked with numbers around its perimeter. With loud growl, Inu Yasha took a swipe at Asano's arm, trying to snatch the watch before the man could get it out of reach, but Asano was fast. He got his feet into Inu Yasha's gut, pushed him backwards, jumped out of the chair and took up a defensive stance. Inu Yasha snarled: "Give me those shards! They're mine!"

Inu Yasha attacked again, but Asano danced out of the way of his claws. He certainly was nimble enough to be Sesshomaru's whelp, thought Inu Yasha sourly.

"I'll make a deal with you," Asano told his opponent in a cold voice. "Give me the shards you already have, and I won't make Kagome Higurashi disappear."

Those were the magic words. Inu Yasha's claws swiped through the air where Asano had been standing, but he didn't make another attack. He'd left Kagome at the condo with—"Damn you, Shunusuke!" But Shippo was there, too, and now Yuki was heading back there. No, Shippo was no match for Asano's lackeys, and they might already have gotten away with Kagome. When Asano sent them away so he and Inu Yasha could "talk", had that been the signal to take her? Wait a second. Asano seemed to assume _he_ had the shards! He could work with this, stall for time while he thought of a way to keep Kagome from "disappearing" and still get Asano's shards.

Struggling to think, Inu Yasha took a deep breath and asked with what he thought was admirable calm considering how badly he wanted to kill Asano: "Has she already disappeared? 'Cause if she has—no deal. And I wanna know who you really are."

The corner of Asano's mouth lifted in a little smirk. "I'm sure you do."

Inu Yasha circled Asano until his back was against the wall, giving him a clear view of the entire lobby in case Asano's minions returned. "You dared claim to be descended from the great demon of the Western Lands. For that alone I should kill you."

Asano smiled and threw his arms wide. "Go on then. I invite you try."

Inu Yasha grinned. "Coward. You'll just summon your pet youkai to fight for you." He grinned with a wicked sparkle in his eyes and cracked his knuckles, but Asano didn't look like he planned to even try to defend himself, nor did he appear to be insulted by being called a coward. That was too suspicious. Inu Yasha belayed his attack. Hm. If at first you don't succeed... He sniffed. "I smell Oni."

His comment failed to have the desired effect. The cautious spark in Asano's eyes faded, and the man relaxed ever so slightly. "Oni. Yes, that's it: Oni. You caught me. How clever you are, Inu Yasha."

"I lied."

The defensive look returned to Asano's eyes for an instant, then he smiled. "I see. You really have no idea what my other half is, do you?" He made himself comfortable in one of the chairs and motioned for Inu Yasha to do the same. Inu Yasha declined his invitation. Asano rested his chin in his hand and sneered: "Cretin."

"Every chance I get."

Asano regarded him with mild amusement. "I like you, Inu Yasha. You're my kind of bastard."

Inu Yasha prepared to spring. "Eat shit and—" he sprung with shout: "DIE!" …and landed with his claws stuck in the leather upholstery of Asano's abandoned chair. He felt a movement behind him and flipped over the back of the chair to land facing Asano, who now was the one with his claws stuck in the chair. Inu Yasha took a swipe at him, but Asano flickered out of the way. "Damn, he's fast!" Inu Yasha thought as he and Asano faced off and considered their next move.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the condo, Shunusuke was having a crisis of conscience. His father's guard would be there any minute to take Kagome as a hostage for the Jewel, so if he was going to defy his father he had better make up his mind fast. "I'll be disinherited for this," he thought as he faced Kagome and sweated. "If he doesn't kill me. No, that would leave him with Yuki, and he'll never leave the company to her. And Kei's too human." He took a deep breath and walked off the edge of the proverbial cliff, hoping to hell he'd fly.

Taking Kagome by her shoulders, he looked deeply into her eyes, putting a little mental nudge to obey him behind his words. "You have to get out of here," he told her. "My father has two shards of the Shikon Jewel and wants the ones Inu Yasha has. He plans to hold you hostage until he gets them, so you have to run. Shippo can impersonate you to give you time to get away."

Shippo and Kagome gulped. "But—" Kagome started to argue, but Shunusuke added more force to his silent command, and she stopped. As he guided her toward the door, he pleaded: "Please trust me! I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my father's plan before, but—" he shook his head and confessed with sad eyes: "I'm afraid of him, Kagome. I'm afraid of what he'll do to you to make Inu Yasha give him the shards. Please, please run away."

Behind him, Shippo had already assumed Kagome's form, wrapping his tail around his hips under the shorts. He untucked the shirt so it would hang over the shorts and hide the evidence. "I'll hold them off as long as I can, Kagome," he said gamely but inside he felt like he was going to lose his lunch. "Go on!"

Tears pooled in Kagome's eyes, seeing the fear in Shunusuke's face. A boy shouldn't be so terrified of his own father, she thought, then she gave Shippo a grateful look and took off down the stairs.

Shunusuke closed the door and collapsed with his back against it to regain his composure. He couldn't be nervous when his father's mercs arrived looking for their hostage, couldn't give them a reason to think he'd just turned traitor on his own family. Many people over the centuries had died for betraying Mikoto Asano, even family members…even first-born sons. But he was convinced he was doing the right thing. His father wanted the whole jewel so he could become a full demon. Shunusuke pushed himself away from the door and sat down on one of the living room chairs to wait. With a sigh, he scrubbed his hands through his hair, then fingered out the tangles and brushed it behind his ears. His father was ruthless and power-hungry enough as a half-breed, Shunusuke hated to contemplate what routes the man's ambition would take if ever he became a full-blooded youkai. A demon at the helm of a global corporation, with the Asano family's money and connections, touching governments all over the world. Gods, the implications were terrifying.

Shunusuke looked up just as Shippo took the chair beside him. "They're here."

The words were just barely out of his mouth when a trio of dark-suited men appeared in the room, one behind the couch in front of Shunusuke and Shippo, the other two to either side of it: Two kitsune and an Oni. "Shit," Shunusuke thought. "Only three of them. Where are the other five? And there's Tsurai, grinning like a devil. Sonnuva bitch." He reached out with his mind, beyond the house, and his stomach clenched. They were spread out around the condo, even beyond the drive that lead to it. Wherever Kagome had run, she probably hadn't gotten far enough to elude them. Shunusuke tried to keep a straight face while he waited for the shit to hit the fan.

Tsurai took one look at Shippo and chuckled. "Nice try, little brother, but we're too old to be fooled by a kit's feeble tricks. Let's have a look at you."

Shippo glared defiantly into the older kitsune's eyes as he dropped his disguise but said nothing. There was a chance they still didn't know where Kagome was, and he sure wasn't going to be the one to blow it for her.

"So young. Hm." Tsurai removed his sunglasses and tucked them into a pocket inside his jacket then seated himself on the couch where he primly crossed his legs and arranged his luxurious black tail in his lap. Once he'd found a pose that pleased him, Tsurai gave Shunusuke a playful look and waggled a scolding finger at him. "Such a disobedient son! Asano-sama will be so disappointed." With a wink, he pursed his lips at Shunusuke and mused: "What shall we do about you, Shunusuke? I could report this to Asano-sama right now and never see you again, or I could give you an opportunity to redeem yourself by telling us where you've hidden Kagome."

Shippo choked but quickly mastered his expression. They hadn't found Kagome yet! There was still hope that she'd get away! Beside him, Shunusuke remained impassive, though he was thinking exactly the same thoughts. Tsurai noticed the brief change in Shippo's demeanor and smiled. "You know where she is, don't you, kit?" Shippo made a sour face and looked away. "I see," Tsurai nodded thoughtfully. "Obviously you haven't realized the implications of what you've done. Please allow me to enlighten you: You won't leave this house alive, little kit. This is it. The end of the line. The big roundup." He frowned at a bit of lint he discovered on his knee and brushed it away. "If you tell us where she is, I might be persuaded to let her live." He held up two fingers. "You see, I have two sets of orders: If she comes willingly, spare her. If she resists or flees: Kill her. Which do you gentleman prefer?"

Shunusuke felt the light touch of Tsurai's mind on his and slammed a barrier over his thoughts. If only he could protect Shippo! "You're lying," he said to distract his father's head man. "Your orders are to keep her alive. You're slipping, Tsurai-Shi," Shunusuke crossed his arms and put on a smug expression, "I got into your head before you could throw up a barrier."

The kitsune laughed. "Now you're lying," he smirked. "I never let my barrier down." He blinked at Shippo, then made a quick gesture with his hand. The other two mercs disappeared. "Thank you, Shippo. She can't have gone far."

* * *

Kagome stumbled and fell to her knees in the sand, got up and started running again. The Green Mermaid might not have been the best destination, but she hoped Inu Yasha was still there. If she could get to him, she'd have a fighting chance against Asano's demon squad. If only he had the Tetsusaiga, but he'd told her he'd left it with Kaede. Kaede had the sword, and the jewel shards were safe in her desk drawer at home. She gasped and lost her footing again. Home! What if they figured out she hadn't brought the shards with her to the beach? As she got to her feet, she remembered what Shunusuke had said about why his father wanted to hold her hostage: He believed Inu Yasha had the jewel. If Inu Yasha didn't reveal the truth, and she could find a way home and get the jewel someplace safer than her unguarded desk drawer- But where? Without Inu Yasha to fight off greedy demons, the past was no refuge—unless she could find Sango and Miroku! Sango was a demon hunter by trade, and Miroku had that air rip in his hand. Would they be strong enough against Asano's youkai if she could bring them to this time?

"OOF!" Kagome and the girl she'd run into tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Kagome tried to free herself to get away, but the other girl held her fast. Right about then, Kagome got a good look at her: "Yuki! Let me go!"

"Will you cut it out?" Yuki screamed in her face. "I'm trying to help you!"

Blink. "Yeah right!" Kagome mushed her hand into Yuki's face but still couldn't get away. "You'll take me to your dad!"

Yuki got hold of Kagome's wrist and pried the girl's hand off of her face with an impatient snarl. "No I won't! Daddy's creeps'll find you if we stay here any longer! Where did you think you were going? Back to the hotel?"

They rose together, and Kagome nodded. Yuki spat: "Stupid! Daddy's there!" She tugged on Kagome's wrist, trying to drag her in the direction of the dunes below the road which lead past the hotel and her condo, but Kagome fought her. "You stupid bitch, they'll catch you!"

Flickers of black became a circle of seven dark-suited kitsune and oni. Kagome caught her breath as Yuki let go of her wrist and started her attack spell. "Kagome, stay close to me and be ready to run."

"Wh-what are you gonna do?!"

Yuki's fingers wove in and out as the aura grew brighter and more intense around her body. Two of the mercs—oni-were casting the same spell, while the others backed out of the danger zone. They pulled pistols from inside their jackets and pointed them at the girls. Kagome's heart skipped: Even if she survived the attack spells, those people would shoot her! She pressed her back against Yuki's and felt her hair stand on end as Yuki's spell crackled around her. If Yuki failed, they were dead, but how could she hope to defeat two of them when she was just one girl who wasn't even half a demon? She had to, that's all there was to it. Against the odds, Yuki's spell had to be stronger. "Do it, Yuki!" Kagome shouted over the roar of energy swirling all around her. She put every ounce of will she had behind her shout, a will that had shattered youkai bodies and awakened herself and Inu Yasha from spells. It had even broken Kikyo's binding spell that had been meant to pin him to the God Tree forever. "God," she prayed through terrified tears, "please give my power to Yuki! I can't die yet! I haven't told him—"

The energy rose to a keening pitch, and the air pressure popped Kagome's ears and threatened to suffocate her. She screamed as Yuki and the two oni loosed their attacks. In the midst of the explosion came the crack of gunshots. Kagome collapsed to her knees, feeling like her blood had caught fire and her flesh was tearing itself from her bones. "Inu Yasha…"


	9. Chapter 9

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Nine

Inu Yasha ripped his claws into the chair previously occupied by Asano and clamored over it with a colorful series of invectives to pursue the man across the lobby. Not only was Mikoto Asano fast and nimble, he had that same irritating sense of humor that always made dealing with Sesshomaru such a bitch and, like, Brother Dearest, Asano felt he had to share his thoughts with Inu Yasha.

"Sloppy, Inu Yasha, sloppy," Mikoto smirked as he effortlessly dodged another Claws of Steel slash, leaving Inu Yasha with his fingernails stuck in the polished oak top of the reception counter. As the young demon struggled to free himself, Asano asked with mocking politeness: "Can I help you with that?"

Inu Yasha loosed his claws with an angry roar, sweeping around in an attempt to use his momentum to rip open his opponent's belly. Asano jumped backwards out of the way, tripped on a potted plant and almost went down but he caught himself on a post in time to avoid another slash.

"You have no style, Inu Yasha," he drawled.

"You just tripped over a fucking plant!" Inu Yasha shot back. "What the hell kind of style is that?"

"And such language. Honestly." Asano grinned and backflipped over a chair, then shoved it into Inu Yasha's legs.

Inu Yasha tumbled over the back of the chair, landed at Mikoto's feet and planted his claws right in his opponent's gut—and jammed his fingers. "Ah! Shit!" He screamed and sucked on his hand as he rolled out of the way of Asano's next attack. "What kind of armor are you wearing, you bastard?!"

"Mylar," Mikoto told him matter-of-factly. "In the vernacular, it's called a bullet-proof vest."

"Sonnovafuckinbitch…" Inu Yasha muttered angrily as he shook the sting out of his fingers and cracked the knuckles back into place.

Asano sighed and shook his head. "Again with the potty mouth. If you were my son, I'd wash your mouth out with soap."

"If I was your son," Inu Yasha sneered, still shaking his hand, "I'd kill myself."

The two half-demons leaned against their respective posts, Inu Yasha facing the elevators and Mikoto facing the doors, and regarded each other. Inu Yasha growled and cursed, Asano looked mildly amused. "I thought you'd be more of a challenge, Inu Yasha," he quipped. His voice, however, betrayed the fact that he was short of breath. He held up a finger and frowned. "I also thought you'd have your jewel shards with you, on the assumption that you're far to paranoid to let them out of your sight."

Inu Yasha snorted his agreement with Asano's assessment of his personality. Yeah, he didn't trust anybody but that wasn't why he didn't keep the jewel shards on him.

"My mistake," Mikoto continued companionably. "I so hate having to resort to torture to get the information I want, Inu Yasha, I really do, especially when it involves a female." His eyes glittered like jagged glass and he added in a steely voice: "Even you wouldn't make that girl suffer because you refused to cooperate."

Inu Yasha heard the doors swing open behind him as Asano spoke, then a lovely female voice asked with deadly courtesy: "Make _what_ girl suffer, Mikoto darling?"

Asano's eyes went wide, and his face became as a white as a corpse's. He gulped. "M-mother?! What are you doing here?!"

Inu Yasha risked a glance around the post and almost had a heart attack. He ducked back behind the post, squeezed his eyes shut and moaned: "Oh no…it can't be…"

"That's a fine thing to say to your mother!" The tall, elegant woman who swept into the lobby snorted. "Not 'hello, Mummy, how wonderful to see you', or 'Mummy darling, however have you been?' Just 'what are you doing here?' How rude." She stepped around overturned plants and torn up furniture with a distasteful look on her delicate face, careful not to get potting soil on her Italian leather pumps, which flawlessly matched the little bag clutched under her arm. Those accessories looked simply smashing with her yellow and blue raw silk mini dress and authentic Native American turquoise and silver choker necklace (with matching bracelet and earrings). She wore her snow white hair in a cute, little bob, and wore just enough makeup to look pulled together but not enough to look cheap. On her fingers was an assortment of turquoise and diamond rings that glittered every time her hands came anywhere near a sunbeam. Her claws had a French manicure.

She wasn't the source of Inu Yasha's panic. That would be her companion, who strolled in her wake, his beauty undimmed for being in proximity to hers. His suit was virgin linen, with a tan, button down, collarless, linen shirt underneath and canvas deck shoes on his feet. He wore his long, white, fluffy tail draped over his shoulders like a scarf (or possibly a feather boa). On his left wrist was a Swiss Army watch and he had a large gold ring set with a boulder of a diamond on his right hand. His hair was as white as hers and worn short, just below his ears. On his eyes were designer sunglasses, on his cheeks were markings like a tiger's, on his mouth was an all-too familiar, supremely bored smirk.

The woman looked Inu Yasha over from head to toe and decided he wasn't dressed well enough to be worth any further attention, then breezed past him to kiss her son's cheeks. Asano returned the gesture in a bit of a daze. "Mother," he stammered, "I thought you'd planned to stay in Brazil for at least another week."

She smiled at them all, then giggled: "I changed my mind! It's a woman's prerogative, you know!"

Inu Yasha locked stares with her companion, a low growl rumbling in his chest, but the other demon spoke first. "Did you lose the Tetsusaiga already, Brother? And after all the trouble you went through to keep it from me. Che."

Inu Yasha's jaw dropped, then snapped shut again, speechless. Sesshomaru removed his sunglasses and tucked them into a pocket inside his jacket, then turned a condescending look on his brother. "I see you haven't bought a new suit of clothes in 400 years, either. I'm surprised those rags haven't disintegrated by now."

"Darling," the woman purred to Sesshomaru, "is this Inu Yasha?" She sounded rather disappointed. "I expected your brother to be more…" she waved her hand around as she searched for the right adjective.

Inu Yasha supplied it: "Conceited? Condescending? Arrogant? Insufferable? Boorish?"

Meanwhile, Asano was frantically trying to get Inu Yasha to quit while he was behind, making slashing motions across his throat and shaking his head. When his mother looked his way, he struck a relaxed pose and smiled innocently at her. She looked away again, and Mikoto went back to trying to shut up Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha snarled at him to knock it off, which got both him and Asano in trouble with Miss Thing. "Don't tell my son to knock it off, you filthy, tasteless little punk! And just what is he telling you to knock off, Mikoto?" She posed with one hand on her slender hip and leveled an impatient glare on her son, who struggled to find something to say that wouldn't make the hole he was in any deeper.

Inu Yasha rolled his eyes. "I don't believe this," he mocked, turning a smug look on his erstwhile enemy. "I thought you'd call your goons back to help you—not your mommy! I should've known a big shot like you would turn out to be a—"

SLAP!

Inu Yasha's head snapped around and next thing he knew he was on his butt in a puddle of potting soil with a palm frond stabbing him in the back, and his cheek sporting a perfect image of her hand. "What the hell was that for, bitch?!"

She narrowed her eyes at him with a barely audible growl rumbling in her chest and commented to Sesshomaru in a tight voice: "He has no idea who I am, does he, Darling?"

Inu Yasha's eyes bugged. "'Darling'?!"

Sesshomaru wearily rubbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "Not a clue, which wouldn't be unusual for him."

"'Wouldn't be—'" Inu Yasha sputtered. "Why you—" he struggled to get up, slipped in the dirt and fell on his ass again. Lacking any other recourse, he grabbed a fistful of dirt and threw it at his brother. It missed him and got his date messy instead.

That was the last straw. Asano collapsed into one of the ruined chairs and buried his face in his hands. Sesshomaru seethed. The woman very calmly removed each of her shoes in turn and shook the dirt out of them, then put them on again. Then she brushed the dirt from her legs, then her dress, then her purse, then brushed her face off and fluffed her hair, just in case dirt had landed there, as well. She straightened her 'do, carefully arranging the strands with her long, manicured fingers. Sesshomaru took a couple of cautious steps back to give her room to inflict upon Inu Yasha whatever horrible variation of dying miserably happened to strike her fancy. Inu Yasha watched all of this with a growing feeling in his gut that he'd just done something incalculably stupid to someone who could really make him pay for it.

"Who are you?" Inu Yasha demanded as she handed off her purse to Sesshomaru to free up all ten of her claws. "I thought his mother was human," he jabbed a thumb in Mikoto's direction, then turned an evil grin on Sesshomaru and added: "and his father was Sesshomaru."

Asano suddenly found himself to be the sole focus of attention and hastened to talk his way out of his mother's mounting fury. "I had the kids tell him that to make sure he'd talk to—"

"What kids?" She demanded, still flexing her fingers in preparation to slash somebody, anybody. "The little bits of fluff that should be hanging about this beach but aren't for reasons I'm sure you could explain, _Darling_?"

Asano gulped. "No, mother. My children, Shunusuke and Yuki. Remember? I left you voice mails when they were born—Kei, too. He's the youngest."

"You've been breeding again?" She blinked puzzlement, searched her memory, then shrugged. "Whatever. Why do you want to talk to Inu Yasha so badly that you'd claim Sesshomaru was your father? I don't believe you've ever actually met him before today."

"And that you're human," Inu Yasha reminded her smugly as he got to his feet and brushed himself off. "Oh, and Sesshomaru raped you. I still didn't get your name. By the way, if you're really his mother, maybe you can make him give back my shards of the Shikon Jewel, so I don't have to kill him in front of his mommy."

"I'm Hisui Oukami," she told him as if he should've guessed it, "the Great Demon of the Northern Lands," then she went back to ignoring him in favor of Asano, so she totally missed seeing Inu Yasha's jaw hit the floor. "You have shards of the Shikon Jewel, Mikoto?"

"My shards," Inu Yasha interrupted.

She stood in front of her nervous son and glared down into his sweaty face. "A greedy megalomaniac like you isn't responsible enough to handle such power." She stuck out her hand. "Give them to me." When he hesitated, she wiggled her fingers. "Now, Mikoto. I can find them easily enough."

"They're in his watch," Inu Yasha told her. With Asano and his mother distracted, Inu Yasha saw his opportunity and reached around her to nick the watch off of Asano's wrist and stuff it into his coat. He was the only one who thought that was a good idea.

"Give me those!" Hisui demanded, at the same time her son snarled the same thing, and Sesshomaru sighed: "You're not mature enough to handle that kind of power, either, Inu Yasha. Give them to Hisui."

"No," Inu Yasha snorted petulantly, "they're mine."

Hisui had just hauled back to claw him when an explosion rocked the building, toppling her off her high heels into Sesshomaru's arms. "What in the world-?!"

Inu Yasha screamed: "KAGOME!"

Asano screamed: "YUKI!"

Both men headed for the door with Hisui and Sesshomaru hot on their heels. Asano got on his cellular phone and frantically tried to reach Tsurai to find out what had happened. Not to be outdone, Hisui whipped out her phone (color-coordinated with her outfit) and called her own bodyguard. By the time they got outside, Inu Yasha was airborne and heading for a column of smoke farther down the beach. The other three demons took to the sky in his wake.

Dread filled Inu Yasha as he drew closer to the scene of the explosion and saw the bodies scattered about. Most of them wore dark clothing—Asano's lackeys. Then he spotted the two girls lying unmoving, back-to-back on an island of sand. All around them was a waist-deep trench, which was where the smoke was coming from. Had Yuki been able to create a protective barrier with her power? Or had that been Kagome's doing? No, he'd never known her to be able to do that, so it had to have been Yuki.

"Kagome!" He shouted her name, but she didn't move. Tears stinging his eyes, he alighted beside her and snatched her up into his arms. He brushed her hair out of her face and desperately searched for signs of life. No blood on her, good. It occurred to him that she might have broken bones but he couldn't make himself let go. "Kagome…" he choked as he hugged her to him with his heart pounding, completely forgetting who had followed him until Sesshomaru spoke.

"The same girl?" He wondered, bemused. "How is that possible?"

Mikoto gently patted Yuki's cheeks and begged her to open her eyes. "Yuki, it's Daddy! Wake up, Yuki!"

Hisui studied the girl over his shoulder as if seeing her granddaughter for the first time, though now that she thought about it she did seem to recall getting emails with her picture periodically. Her and two boys…an older one and a younger one, she thought. Pretty thing. "Must take after my side of the family," she decided with no little conceit and not very much concern over Yuki's immediate welfare. In fact, she seemed more concerned with sorting out how to keep her shoes on without the high heels sinking into the sand.

Asano's bodyguards were coming around with painful groans, but still the girls remained unconscious. Inu Yasha hugged Kagome and stroked her hair, while beside him, Asano continued to try to rouse Yuki. A dark-haired kitsune in a gaudy shirt appeared at Hisui's side and surveyed the disaster with a concerned little frown. "No Tsurai," he commented in Hisui's ear, to which she replied tersely: "Find him."

"He's at the condo," Mikoto told them hoarsely and pointed at the house. "He's with Shunusuke and a little kitsune boy, Inu Yasha's companion."

That got a raised eyebrow from Sesshomaru. "A little kitsune boy? You even have a small kitsune friend again?"

Inu Yasha turned his head to growl at his brother. "What of it?!"

"What, indeed," Sesshomaru mused. He crouched beside Inu Yasha to have a closer look at Kagome, only to be shoved roughly away.

"Don't touch her!"

He blinked. "Still holding a grudge? Inu Yasha, it's been four hundred years." Sesshomaru sighed but kept his distance. "I've been wondering where you'd disappeared to all those years ago. Have you been in Tokyo all along?" He made a thoughtful noise as he looked at Kagome's dirty face. "No, she can't be the same girl…but the resemblance is truly amazing. How did you find a match for her?"

"Do you ever shut up?" Inu Yasha snapped but he was turning his brother's words over in his mind. Sesshomaru didn't know about the power of the well, so his periodic disappearances would baffle him—if Sesshomaru even cared enough to notice his little brother had gone missing. Apparently, he didn't notice until Inu Yasha disappeared with the Tetsusaiga and never returned. Did that mean he and Kagome would make the jewel whole again at last? Or would they fail? It would seem he went with Kagome to her time at the end of their quest, but as what? Human or demon? He was dying to pump Sesshomaru for information but didn't want to give away the truth. But what did it matter if Sesshomaru knew about the well? Sesshomaru couldn't go back in time without Inu Yasha or Kagome taking him, and even if he could, why would he? He'd never seemed to care much about the Shikon Jewel, nor even Inu Yasha, only the Tetsusaiga.

Just then, Kagome shifted in his arms and her eyelids fluttered open. She smiled into his face, then her eyes fell upon Sesshomaru, and her smile turned into a weak cry of fear and revulsion. "N-n-no! You can't be here! It's impossible!" She clung to Inu Yasha and buried her face in his coat, then suddenly she got a puzzled expression on her face and looked at Sesshomaru more carefully, noting his modern clothes and clean-cut look. "You changed your hair."

He gave her a lopsided smile and replied: "That look went out with love beads and tie dye." He ran his fingers through his hair, then asked thoughtfully: "And how would you know I changed it? I cut it off long before you were born. Hmm…You look terribly familiar, but I can't imagine you'd be the same irritating little git who was always hiding behind Inu Yasha 400 years ago."

"'Irritating little git'?!" Kagome trembled with rage and made a feeble attempt to escape Inu Yasha's arms and pound Sesshomaru.

Inu Yasha held her back. "Kagome, you're too weak to—"

"Lemme at 'im!"

Sesshomaru gave her an innocent look. "Was it something I said?"

* * *

In the Asano condominium, Shippo was having a very bad day, which was only worsened by the fact that Tsurai seemed determined to blow his head off while holding him upside down by the tail. Every time Shunusuke tried to intervene, Tsurai would wave the gun at him, then stick it back in Shippo's mouth. The worst bit was how much the dark kitsune seemed to be enjoying himself, especially after receiving that phone call. Tsurai wouldn't tell them who had called or what had been said, but Shippo assumed it had been his boss, Shunusuke's dad. "Probably gave him orders to torture me to death!"

"Do you know what will happen when I pull the trigger, Shippo?" Tsurai beamed with a wicked grin. "Your brains will blow out the back of your head like hamburger—only wetter—and make a huge mess all over this glass door, here." He nodded at the door, still grinning. "Of course, you're so little and obviously don't have many brains, so the splat won't be quite as large as if I were to, for instance, blow the head off a conceited brat like Shunusuke."

"I'll be sure to let my father know you said so," Shunusuke muttered and got the gun pointed at him again. "Go ahead. Kill me. Let's see how long it takes my dad to hunt you down for murdering his heir."

Tsurai shifted his grip on the weapon, then stuck it back into Shippo's mouth. "Che. You're a very disobedient heir." He showed his fangs to Shippo. "Well, furball, enough chit-chat; it's time for you to die."

Just then, an identical dark kitsune in denim cut-offs, red Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops appeared out of nowhere and knocked him out with a neat little thump at the base of his skull. The newcomer grinned at the very startled Shunusuke: "Vulcan neck pinch." As Tsurai went down the new guy caught Shippo, then bent to collect the gun. He rubbed the base of Shippo's abused tail and asked in a cheerful voice: "None the worse for wear, little brother?"

"You're joking, right?!" Shippo looked from his rescuer to Shunusuke, but Asano could only shrug, having no clue who the newcomer was except to say that: "He looks like he's Tsurai's twin…I guess." He cautiously thanked the man and took Shippo from him. "I'm Shunusuke Asano. This is Shippo."

The kitsune sat down at the end of the couch nearest Tsurai's feet. "I'm Shinai, Tsurai's—actually, his name's Usagi, but don't tell him I told you. I'm his twin brother. He works for Mikoto," he nodded to Shunusuke, "your father, and I work for your grandmother, Hisui Oukami."

"The daughter of the Great Demon of the North?!" Shippo exclaimed excitedly. "That Hisui Oukami?! She's here?"

Shinai cocked his head to the side and chuckled. "Hisui is the Great Demon of the North, Shippo. Her father died 430 years ago. I'm sure Hisui will be happy to hear that her father is remembered by youkai in this age."

Shippo bit his lip and made a tactical decision not to burst Shinai's bubble. The fewer who knew about the well's power, the better. Shinai might have just saved his furry hide, but Shippo wasn't ready to trust him yet. "Wait a second," Shippo narrowed his eyes at Shunusuke, "I thought you said your grandmother was a human who got raped by Sesshomaru! Which is it?"

"A human?" Shinai raised a bemused eyebrow. "Who was raped by Sesshomaru? Che! I though that guy was gay." He waved a hand at Shunusuke: "But you were going to tell us why you said Hisui is a human who was raped by Sesshomaru. Carry on."

Shunusuke gave him a dirty look, then directed his reply at Shippo. "I'm sorry, Shippo. Dad told me to tell Inu Yasha that story, but the truth is," he sighed heavily, "Hisui Oukami is my grandmother. My grandfather was Lord Keiske Asano, a human."

"You disregarded your father's orders?" Shinai asked curiously. "What possessed you to do such a foolish thing?"

Shunusuke closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the chair, letting the tension of the last fifteen minutes drain out of his body and easing himself into a semi-meditative state. The crisis with Tsurai was over, but now he had Hisui Oukami's chief bodyguard to deal with, so he had to be focused. He'd never met his grandmother and only had his father's stories about her to go on, but if those were any indication he had a lot more to worry about from her than his dad. Then again, his father had been known to exaggerate if it furthered his agenda. And what had become of Kagome? Was that explosion he'd felt directed at her? Was she even alive?

At last he spoke: "I didn't feel right about what he was asking me to do."

"To lie?" Shinai prompted, sounding somewhat amused. "What's the big deal about that?"

Shunusuke shook his head. "It's not just being asked to lie that bothers me. It didn't seem like such a big deal until I met Inu Yasha." He opened his eyes and ran a hand through his hair self-consciously. "I had a premonition about him. I guess that's the real reason I changed my mind about going along with whatever scheme Dad's running this time."

Now the kitsune was really curious. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and an eager look on his face. "What sort of premonition?" But that was all Shunusuke was willing to tell his grandmother's minion and wouldn't say anything more on the subject. Pressing Shippo for information didn't prove any more fruitful, so at last Shinai gave up. At least he wasn't as gun-happy as his brother and didn't wave the thing at them to force them to talk. "Ah well," he chirped, "Hisui will be here soon, and you can tell her all about your funny feelings."

* * *

Back at the beach, Kagome was adjusting to 20th Century Sesshomaru, and Yuki was getting acquainted with her grandmother the jet setter. Meanwhile, Mikoto insisted Inu Yasha give him back the jewel shards, which Inu Yasha refused to do, and Hisui insisted he give them to her, instead. Sesshomaru was very interested in Kagome, who really wished he'd stop touching her face like that.

"You are the same girl, aren't you?" Sesshomaru probed, turning Kagome's head this way and that. Inu Yasha smacked his hand away, then went back to arguing with Hisui and Mikoto. As soon as his brother's attention was redirected, Sesshomaru grabbed Kagome's face again. "How can this be?"

Kagome swatted his hand away. "Cut it out!"

"Leave her alone!" Inu Yasha seconded, with a solid thump to the back of Sesshomaru's head. Hisui tried to grab his coat, but Inu Yasha jerked out of the way of her sparkling fingers. "I'm not giving you the shards! They're mine!"

Sesshomaru decided upon a different tactic. He ran a finger down Kagome's belly, sending her scampering backwards like a crab to get away from him. "I see you had the baby," he cooed, and his eyes glittered like hard topaz. His smile had a cruel edge. "And your girlish figure just snapped right back."

"B-b-baby?!" Kagome, Inu Yasha and Yuki stammered all at once.

"You had a baby?" Yuki gasped, then pointed at Inu Yasha, whose face now matched his kimono. "His baby? Does it have doggie ears, too?" She narrowed her eyes. "Hey, aren't you a little young to be having a baby?"

Kagome and Inu Yasha gulped at each other, then quickly found someplace else to look. "I don't have a—I'm still a vuh-virgin—" Kagome sputtered and nervously played with her hair.

Sesshomaru looked incredibly smug. "Hm. You were pregnant the last time I saw you," then he got in close to Kagome's face: "Of course, with your belly so big, you finally had to get rid of those clothes you always wore—a sailor fukku, if I remember correctly, something Japanese schoolgirls wouldn't wear for at least 400 years."

"Uh…" Kagome swallowed hard and scooted even farther away from him. Sesshomaru was just plain creepy in any century. If he found out about the time travelling she did through the Bone Eater's Well, what might he do with that knowledge? He couldn't use the well without either her or Inu Yasha taking him through, and there was no way they'd do that for him! At least, not willingly. Her trembling gaze met his steady one. He was a demon who would do anything to get what he wanted, even if it meant hurting or killing his own brother (not that Sesshomaru and Inu Yasha had ever had a brotherly relationship, of course). The only thing he'd ever seemed to want was the Testsusaiga, which could usually be found in Inu Yasha's company, but here was Sesshomaru bugging her instead.

Inu Yasha grabbed his brother's tail and pulled him back. "I said—" he wrapped his hand around Sesshomaru's throat, letting his talons prick the snowy flesh, "—leave her alone!"

"Enough!" Hisui barked. "Release him, Inu Yasha! Sesshomaru, let the girl be." Inu Yasha hesitated. "Remove that hand, or lose it," Hisui growled.

One look at her face showed him she meant it and was fully capable of carrying out her threat, so Inu Yasha reluctantly let his brother go. Sesshomaru took a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed the blood from his neck, as if it was nothing more alarming than sweat and sat down next to Kagome, sending the girl diving to Inu Yasha's side. Inu Yasha wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her with him as he got to his feet and backed out of Hisui's reach.

Kagome swooned and collapsed against Inu Yasha, who swept her up into his arms. She tried to get out of them and onto her own two feet again but found she was just too weak. Inu Yasha glared at Sesshomaru. "You asshole. I told you to leave her alone!"

Sesshomaru smiled sweetly. He didn't really care if Kagome was the same girl from 400 years ago, nor even how that was possible. What concerned him was the happy fact that he'd found his little brother again. He just hoped the idiot hadn't lost the Testsusaiga, or worse, allowed it to be destroyed. "So where is the Fang, Brother?"

Everybody looked at Inu Yasha, who growled at Sesshomaru, who remained primly patient. Inu Yasha bared his teeth. "That sword is mine! Father willed it to me, not you!"

Hisui frowned prettily. "I do seem to recall Nishi doing that, Darling," she told Sesshomaru, who gave her a "butt out" look that had no effect whatsoever. She gossiped to the others: "We were all simply horrified, of course. How could a demon of his stature leave his most powerful weapon to a half-blood when he had a full-blooded, _first-born_ son. It was absolutely scandalous!"

"It's not _that_ bad," Inu Yasha muttered sourly.

Hisui rambled on. "I heard he did it because you disapproved of his taste in women, Darling," she fluttered her eyelashes at Sesshomaru with a cute smile. "How daring."

"How stupid," Inu Yasha snickered.

"Where is it?" Sesshomaru persisted in a harder tone. In a flash, he was in Inu Yasha's face with his hand on Kagome's belly. Inu Yasha jumped out of his reach with a snarl.

Hisui intervened in a bored voice. "Oh, Darling, let it go for now. You'll have plenty of time to interrogate him later," she turned a pointed stare on her son, "right after Mikoto tells me exactly what is going on here."


	10. Chapter 10

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Ten

When they finally returned to the condo, Yuki and Kagome made beelines for the bath, not because they wanted to (napping sounded more attractive), but because Hisui wouldn't quit nagging them until they were clean enough for her delicate nose to be able to bear their presence. Being in another room had the added bonus of allowing the girls to avoid the stand-offs going on in the living room between Inu Yasha (whom Hisui hadn't been able to intimidate into changing his clothes) and Sesshomaru, and Mikoto and his mother. Tsurai was conscious and in statue mode at his master's side, while his brother Shinai took his place at Hisui's, looking more like some hippie she'd picked up hitchhiking than a bodyguard. Even Shippo could feel the tension between the kitsune brothers. That, added to the bad vibes pulsing between the other pairs, was enough to keep Shippo hiding behind Inu Yasha. He really wanted to run and hide in some other room in case the Great Demon of the Northern Lands got physical but hell if he was deserting Inu Yasha with Sesshomaru right there. Nobody would sit down, not even Shunusuke, who stood by the doors to the porch, out of the way and for the moment ignored (or perhaps already disowned) by his family and the others.

"Obey me, Mikoto," Hisui commanded her son in an icy voice. "You made a mess of this resort and terrorized hundreds of mortals—ordinarily I'd have no problems with that, but they are your children's friends, are they not? So they must have money and come from good families." She took a long drag off her cigarette and blew the smoke straight into Tsurai's face. He had absolutely no reaction whatsoever, so she ignored him for the rest of the conversation. Mikoto, on the other hand, looked like he was ready to strangle her. Hisui smiled angelically and stroked her son's cheek. "Darling, just fix it. Throw them some money and everything will return to normal before you know it."

Mikoto's jaw went tight, and his claws dug holes in his palms at his sides. "Mother," he replied through a very tight smile, "it's a bit more complicated than that—"

"Whatever!" She chirped and waved her cigarette around in the air between them, leaving behind a perfect ring of smoke to frame her son's infuriated face. "Make up a lie, give them money…whatever it takes, darling. If your name is attached to this fiasco, imagine what the news media will do with it. And what it will do our reputation! Ooh, I can't even think about it!" She sucked smoke and blew it toward the ceiling. When her eyes locked with Mikoto's again, they were steel and poison. "Just fix it."

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru was enjoying his little brother's discomfort enormously, though at the moment it was serving no purpose. Inu Yasha growled at him with his ears laid flat against his skull and veins popping all over his cherry red face. Sesshomaru looked mildly amused as he absently fanned Hisui's smoke out of his air space. Neither brother had anything to say to the other. Suddenly, Hisui turned to Inu Yasha and sighed disgustedly through a puff of smoke: "Oh, darling, don't do that with your face. It's so ugly. Not that you had much to work with in the first place."

"Didn't have much to work with in the—" Inu Yasha sputtered and almost jumped Hisui, but Sesshomaru grabbed him by the hair and held him back. Shinai jumped between his boss and the potential danger. Shippo took cover behind a chair. Inu Yasha snarled: "Let me go, asshole! I can't believe even you would fuck a bitch like her! Dammit, get your hands off me!"

Hisui pouted. "'Bitch'? Was that supposed to be an insult?" She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe Sesshomaru is related to such a primitive beast. I'm a female dog demon, you twit. Of course, I'm a bitch."

"Mother, you are the shallowest person I have ever known!" Mikoto shouted at her, his own face as red as Inu Yasha's. "You just blow in here and think you can interfere with my buis…ness…uh…*sweat* What are you doing?"

Hisui had her cellular phone in hand and was pushing buttons. "Making a phone call, darling, what does it look like?"

"Calling who?" He demanded in a voice that trembled with rage, while his stomach hosted a butterfly convention. Truth was, he had a good, solid feeling about who she was calling.

She smoked at him. "My broker."

"Oh, not this again!" Mikoto hissed. He knew where this was going. She'd threatened to do it many times before but had always aborted her plans when he backed down and did what she wanted him to. "It won't work, mother. I won't be intimidated in front of my own son!"

Hisui shifted into schmooze mode when her broker answered the phone. "Carla, darling, it's Hisui—no, I'm in Tokyo now. Rio was fabulous, darling, I met the sexiest man at Carnivale." Hisui made a conspiratorial snicker and gave Sesshomaru a sexy look. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, darling, I'd tell you all about it, but everybody's here, so I'll just say one word: Hot." She giggled, Carla giggled, Sesshomaru couldn't seem to decide if he should be flattered or disgusted. Everybody else quite clearly hoped she'd change the subject. She did. "Darling, it's time to buy out Mikoto."

"No it isn't!" Mikoto grabbed the phone out of her hand, and she let him do it with a satisfied smirk. "Ms. Harris? She's being a child again. I apologize profusely on her behalf for wasting your valuable time. Sorry to wake you. Thank you. Good bye." He disconnected the call, then handed the phone back to his mother, since she would've just taken it back anyway (and left nice, deep claw marks wherever she'd had to search). "She really should drop you as a client, Mother."

"I pay her too much," Hisui retorted smugly. "Anyway, we're friends, darling. We even wear the same designer."

Mikoto seethed: "Have you any idea what time it is in New York right now?!"

Hisui checked her diamond watch. "3:27 in the morning."

"I give up."

Inu Yasha and Shippo gaped at her. Shinai looked terribly entertained, while his brother maintained a perfect poker face, like some kind of Secret Service agent. Shunusuke retreated to the relative sanity of the porch and closed the door behind him. Sesshomaru finally let go of Inu Yasha's hair, and got growled at for that, too. Inu Yasha made as if to say something that would probably have made an entire fleet of sailors blush, changed his mind and huffed off to his bedroom instead, slamming the door behind him. Shippo dashed after him but closed the door more quietly.

* * *

Kagome and Yuki sneaked out of the bathroom and into the nearest bedroom without being noticed. With their bodies and hair wrapped in towels, the two girls collapsed onto the bed with gigantic, exhausted, sighs of relief.

"I could sleep for days," Yuki groaned. "I don't think I could fry an egg with my powers after what I did today." She snorted: "And not even so much as a 'nice job, Yuki' from Daddy. I held off the powers of two of his strongest oni, _plus_ a few dozen rounds of bullets! I'd think that deserves a little recognition!"  
"Big time," Kagome agreed. "You saved my life, Yuki." Of course, she'd already thanked Yuki over and over while they got cleaned up. Kagome was glad her family wasn't like the Asanos. If she'd done anything on the magnitude of what Yuki had done, her family would be trying to get her a medal for it.

They lay there on their backs with their eyes closed for a while before realizing they were not alone.

The boys cowered at the top end of the bed and began to sweat while the girls' expressions got darker and darker as they lay on their backs and glared at the demons upside down.

"W-we were her first!" Shippo protested in a voice that was little more than a terrified squeak. "Please don't make us go back out there with her!"

Inu Yasha bonked him on the head for his cowardice, which really pissed off Kagome. She jumped up with an indignant cry and pointed an angry finger at Inu Yasha. "Don't you dare hit him!" She ripped the towel off her hair and threw it at him. It missed and draped over Shippo instead. Good thing, too, since her other towel chose that moment to come untucked and drop straight off onto the floor, and Shippo was a bit young to be seeing full-frontal nudity.

Inu Yasha on the other hand…

Kagome trembled with rage as his eyes roved over her body, and his face got redder and redder. He swallowed but kept staring, transfixed, at her curves…her perfect skin…her pink nipples…her little belly button…Another gulp. "I gotta look away…" but he couldn't. "I'm dead," he thought, still staring like a total pervert at her pelvis. "Oh, shit. She gonna say the "s" word. Right in front of Yuki. I'll kill her if she say it. I will so kill her." But those curves…she looked so soft…and really beautiful when she was angry. And naked. "This is worth a good 'sit'," he thought, then did something really stupid: He grinned.

"Ooooh…you—you—" Kagome's fists trembled at her sides, her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth pressed into a taught, angry little line.

Shippo looked out from under the towel, got a peek at some serious Kagome flesh, then shot a look at Inu Yasha, who appeared to be hypnotized. "He really deserves it this time," Shippo thought and ducked back under the towel to await the inevitable.

Suddenly, Kagome's eyes flew open and she screamed: **"SIT!"**

KAPONG! Inu Yasha's face mushed into the bedspread, but Kagome wasn't finished with him yet. As she picked up her towel and wrapped it around herself again, she shrieked: "SITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSIT!"

"Owowowowowowowowowowowowowow!"

Shippo's frightened eyes peeked out from under the towel to gawk at poor Inu Yasha, who growled and struggled helplessly against the power of the prayer beads. "I can't believe you did that in front of Yuki!" Shippo gasped. Clutching the towel around his head, he looked like a frightened Jawa (with a bushy tail).

Yuki thought it was all quite hilarious. "Does it work if I say it?"

All three of her companions shouted: "NO!"

Yuki huffed and turned her back on them. "…well you don't have to bite my head off…"

Kagome burst into angry, mortified tears. "I can't believe you stared at me like—like—like I'm some kind of porno show!"

"'Porno'?" Inu Yasha groaned in puzzlement.

"A sex show," Yuki explained.

"Kagome is not a sex show!" Inu Yasha screamed back.

To which Kagome tearfully replied: "You sure acted like I was! What kind of pervert stares at a naked girl like that?!"

Yuki raised a finger and asked: "I thought he was your boyfriend? So, you have a relationship, right? You're in love, right? So if anybody can stare at you naked, it's him. I think you should reciprocate, Inu Yasha. Let Kagome see you naked."

GASP! Kagome and Inu Yasha turned red, Shippo choked. "H-him? Get naked in front of Kagome? Yeah, right. That'll never happen."

"It will if she has his baby," Yuki drawled with a pointed glare at the so-called couple, "like Sesshomaru said."

Shippo raised an eyebrow. "Baby?" He looked from Kagome to Inu Yasha but only got growls from them. "What? His baby?" He pointed at Inu Yasha. "Really?"

"Shut up, Shippo…" Inu Yasha warned.

Yuki, of course, ignored him. "Well, Sesshomaru didn't specify who the father is, but I just assumed it would be Inu Yasha. Why? Is there somebody else you think it could be, Shippo?"

The kitsune hesitated and backed out of range of Inu Yasha's claws. Even though Inu Yasha was still pinned face down in agony from so many "sits" in a row, Shippo wasn't going to take any chances.

Yuki bounced excitedly on the bed. "Tell! Tell!"

"Will you knock it off?!" Inu Yasha shouted at her at the same time Kagome told Shippo to be quiet.

"Well, there is Miroku…" Shippo mused, just to watch Inu Yasha's veins pop. "He's always trying to get somebody to bear his child. He even asked Kagome to do it once."

"SHIPPO!" Kagome and Inu Yasha growled. "You are so fucking dead, fox!" Inu Yasha added, cursing the fact that he still couldn't move enough to get his hands around the kitsune's neck.

"Is this Miroku guy cute?" Yuki persisted impishly.

Shippo scooted farther away from Inu Yasha, but now Kagome was after him. She grabbed for his tail, but he darted under the bed and hid right in the middle, where she couldn't reach him. Kagome sat on the bed with her back to Inu Yasha in a major huff and fought for control.

Inu Yasha's eyes went wide. "Hey! How come you're not saying you'd never bear Miroku's child? You've thought about it, haven't you?"

"What?!" Kagome spun on him, losing her towel again when her body moved and it didn't. This time Inu Yasha had the good sense to shut his eyes while she wrapped the towel around herself and went to the closet to find some proper clothes. Since this was the room Yuki had given to Inu Yasha and Shippo, all she found were Inu Yasha's things and she was sure none of them would fit.

"Here."

Inu Yasha's coat landed by her feet. Kagome hesitated only a moment, then put it on, suddenly feeling rather stupid. This wasn't the first time he'd had the chance to see her naked, it was just the first time he'd actually gawked at her. The last time it had happened, he'd given her his coat to cover herself, too. "I don't want Miroku," she said, still with an irritated edge to her voice. "And before you ask, Inu Yasha, I don't want Hojo, either. You're so hung up on him all the time."

As she secured his coat about her and came back to sit on the bed again, Inu Yasha realized she hadn't said she didn't want him. Did that mean she did? Had she thought about that kind of thing? He hadn't. Not with Kagome. He'd thought about it a lot with Kikyo, but then they'd sort of agreed to marry once he'd used the jewel to become human. Inu Yasha closed his eyes with a painful sigh and wished for the millionth time that he could do something to ease Kikyo's suffering and give her rest at last. She was a wanderer, thanks to him, he thought. Resurrected from the grave by an evil oni witch and forced to steal souls to maintain her existence—which she wouldn't give up until she'd killed him, or so she said. Inu Yasha didn't think she wanted to kill him any more. The last thing she'd wanted before she died was revenge on him for betraying her and stealing the jewel, so that was the driving force in her resurrected self. Until she'd learned the truth about that day, that the demon Naraku had tricked them both and stolen their chance for happily ever after.

He didn't realize he was crying until Kagome wiped a tear from his cheek. "I'm sorry I made you sit so much, Inu Yasha," she apologized quietly. Not knowing what he was thinking, she assumed the problem was being made to sit in front of Yuki. Since knowing would probably be counter productive, Inu Yasha let her think whatever she wanted and just accepted her apology with a nod.

After a moment, Yuki asked: "Well, do you want to see him naked, or what?"

Kagome's jaw dropped, then she looked at Inu Yasha with a little smirk. "We should introduce her to Miroku some time."

From under the bed, Shippo seconded the motion.

After a while, the pain subsided enough for Inu Yasha to sit up properly and take care of a little unfinished business. He took Asano's watch and lay it on the bedside table, raised his arm, aimed and shattered the face with his palm. Shippo emerged from under the bed to see what was going on. Kagome and Yuki came around the bed to look, too. They all watched wordlessly as Inu Yasha yanked the hands off the watch, then handed them to Kagome.

"Jewel shards?" She sighed wonderingly. "When did you get these? I didn't see them when we were on the beach. Did you have them then?"

He nodded. "Yuki's father had them in his watch." Inu Yasha held out his hand to reclaim them, but Kagome closed her fist around them and wouldn't give them back at first. Then she remembered that everybody else thought Inu Yasha was the custodian of the shards and reluctantly pressed them into his palm and closed his fingers over them. He gave her a smug look. "Don't worry, you know I can protect them."

"Wait!" Yuki stopped him just as he started patting around his person for some nice, safe place to tuck the shards. "Are those pieces of the Jewel of Four Souls? Really? My dad had those?" Then she narrowed her eyes. "How'd you get them?"

"They belong to me," Inu Yasha barked at her. "The whole jewel is mine and so is any part of it. I just took back what was mine to begin with."

Technically, if the jewel had ever belonged to anyone, it belonged to Kikyo, Kagome thought, though Inu Yasha and Kikyo had been planning to use it together to make him human. Maybe that did make it his in a way. She bit her lip and said nothing. It always came back to Kikyo, she thought sadly. If only she didn't look like Inu Yasha's old flame, it would be easier to swallow the idea of him liking her for herself, no matter what he said about Kagome being Kagome and not really resembling Kikyo at all. That wasn't true: She'd seen Kikyo with her own eyes and it had been like looking in a mirror. Then Kikyo had kissed Inu Yasha right in front of her and tried to take him with her into death.

"But he snapped out of her spell and rescued me when her youkai tried to hurt me," she remembered, "so maybe it really is me he wants."

Inu Yasha nudged her shoulder. "Hey, what's with that face? I said I'd protect them." He got up and went to the closet to find something with pockets to wear. "There's nothing to worry about." He chose the leather pants and changed into them right in front of the girls and Shippo, though his long, white shirt covered everything while he pulled on his pants. He stuffed the jewel shards into the watch pocket of the pants, then he took off the shirt, leaving his upper body bare for the time it took him to throw on a black Harley T-shirt. "There, I gave her an eyeful. We're even," he thought smugly. Well, sort of an eyeful, anyway. Nothing like what he'd got from her.

As he turned around, Yuki grinned mischievously and commented with a twinkle in her eyes: "I said it before and I'll say it again: Inu Yasha, you have a killer ass."

"Shut up."

* * *

Yuki poked her head out the door to find out if anybody was in the living room to see her and Kagome nip from that bedroom to the one with girl clothes in it. They were all still out there, but nobody seemed to be looking her way, so she motioned for Kagome to follow her and tiptoed out the door. They were immediately spotted by her grandmother's dude of a bodyguard, Shinai. "Sounded a little frisky in there, ladies. Did I hear something about a naked girl?"

Kagome and Yuki froze. Kagome blushed, while Yuki chuckled nervously and replied: "Kagome's towel fell off, but nothing—"

"Making babies, girl?" Sesshomaru paused in his conversation with Hisui to sneer at her. "I wondered if he had it in him."

"Why you…" Kagome fumed, wide eyed and tight lipped and shook with the overwhelming need to kill him but knowing he could squash her like a bug. Yuki grabbed her by the sleeve and dragged her into her bedroom and shut the door firmly behind them.

Sesshomaru was still smirking when Inu Yasha and Shippo emerged from the bedroom. Inu Yasha gave him a glare of undiluted hatred then he and Shippo stalked past him to join Shunusuke on the porch. Much to Inu Yasha's ire, Hisui's eyes burned into his backside the entire way past. As he shut the glass doors, he heard her comment: "Not bad for a filthy mutt."

"Shunusuke," Inu Yasha growled as he joined the man at the railing, "I hate your family."

Shunusuke sighed. It was a gorgeous evening with just the right touch of a cool breeze off the ocean and a sliver of a moon just becoming visible in the sunset sky. The soothing sounds of seagulls and the incoming tide did little to comfort him after the events of the past couple of days. He cursed himself for not defying his father in the first place and cursed Yuki for tipping Mikoto off to the fact that Inu Yasha, whom he'd sought for centuries, was with her at the beach house. Now they had Hisui Oukami to deal with, as well as her boy toy of the moment, Inu Yasha's own brother Sesshomaru. Even worse was how different Hisui was from her son's descriptions of her character. Frankly, Shunusuke wished he'd could disown her and get away with it.

"I'm sorry I lied to you about us, Inu Yasha, but I…my father ordered me to, and I didn't have the balls to refuse." He looked at the demon with sad eyes, "can you forgive me?" He chose not to reveal Yuki's part in all of it. If Yuki didn't have the courage to tell Inu Yasha herself, the demon seemed to have enough brains to figure it out on his own. Shunusuke just didn't think he'd want to be there when Inu Yasha did figure it out.

Shunusuke's humble tone took Inu Yasha aback. Very cautiously, he nodded. "Yeah, sure. Your father made you do it, right? Nice."

Shunusuke looked away, and for a while nobody spoke, then he sort of laughed and said: "You know, this is the first I've met my grandmother. She's definitely…unique."

"She's a shallow, disgusting, stuck-up bitch," Inu Yasha corrected him with a bitter snort.

Shippo hopped up onto the railing and nodded his agreement. "I've only been around her for a few minutes and I already wanna kill her." He realized he was talking to the woman's own grandson and hastened to apologize, but Shunusuke didn't seem to care.

Shunusuke frowned thoughtfully at the trees and said in a low voice: "I'm ashamed of her. All my life, my dad has told me stories about his mother the Great Demon of the North, slayer of thousands of youkai in a single battle, the brilliant businesswoman who taught him everything he knows." He shook his head. "I can't believe this is the same woman."

"Bet he's ashamed of her, too," Shippo said, "so he lied about her to you guys."

Shunusuke shut his eyes and a pair of tears ran down his cheeks. Angrily, he wiped them away with the back of his hand. "I wish I'd never met her. No, I wish I wasn't even related to her—that I was just a normal, human guy. Or related to you, like Dad made me tell you I was. Even Sesshomaru has to be better than her. She's sickening."

Back in the living room, Hisui's sharp ears heard every word, and from the look on his face, so had her son. Their conversation faltered into an uneasy silence. Hisui closed her eyes and her jaw tightened. After a few tense moments, she opened her eyes and fixed Mikoto with a look that was a mixture of anger and hurt. "Are you ashamed of me, Mikoto? Did you feel you had to lie to your children about me because you're embarrassed?"

He looked away and paced over to the glass doors to watch his son bemoan his lineage to Inu Yasha and Shippo. Shunusuke wiped another tear off his face but the trio had stopped talking, no doubt because Shunusuke had sensed he was being watched. "You're shallow, greedy, selfish and a complete boor, Mother. It's pathetic and, yes, embarrassing. I wanted this latest crop of children to think better of you, since I thought they hadn't a snowball's chance in hell of ever actually meeting you." Mikoto turned and leaned his back against the glass. "I wasn't surprised in the least when you didn't even remember I had children." He pushed away and walked over to look into Sesshomaru's eyes. The other demon coolly returned his steady gaze. Mikoto looked for some sign that her boyfriend might come to Hisui's defense, even the slightest twinge of irritation in those lovely golden eyes—but there was nothing, no emotion at all. Sesshomaru didn't bloody give a damn.

Mikoto sat on the couch and regarded his mother, who let her cigarette burn between her fingers, ignored, as she stared back and said nothing for once. "I was a little surprised to hear you were seeing Sesshomaru," Mikoto confessed. "Frankly, I'd given him more credit for depth and character." He looked up at the demon, who was still not rising to his woman's defense. "What's the allure, Sesshomaru? Good sex?"

Sesshomaru raised a bemused eyebrow. "You want to know how your mother is in bed? Rather perverted of you, don't you think?"

Mikoto tried to ignore the headache that was building between his eyes. Maybe he'd misjudged the son of the Great Demon of the Western Lands, and the man was perfect for Hisui after all. In that light, Sesshomaru's father had shown great foresight in not willing his fabled blade and symbol of power to his firstborn. If only Hisui's father had taken better steps to keep her from his. Once upon a time, Hisui Oukami had two older brothers, faithful servants of their father and joint heirs to his territory. She'd also had a mother. All three of her relatives were ahead of Hisui in line to be the next Great Demon of the Northern Lands. As soon as Daddy was dead, Hisui made sure there was no one else in line, then slaughtered all of their supporters, anyone who might have challenged her claim. Hisui was soaked in blood, even more than her own kind thought acceptable, and she'd done it all for her father's gold and the power his name gave her. Her habit of eliminating any who opposed her exenteded even to her own offspring. Mikoto hadn't always been an only child, but his sisters had been much more ambitious than he was (which said a lot).

So maybe he was taking his life in his hands telling his mother exactly what he thought of her in no uncertain terms, without cute little jokes to soften the blow this time and no apologies. His opinion had been seconded without outside influence by his son Shunusuke and at least two other corroborating witnesses. Perhaps they were all going to die.

"Sesshomaru," Hisui asked in a tone so subdued and out of character for her that Mikoto feared the end was nigh, "do I embarrass you?"

He smiled and ran and finger down her cheek. "I'm not the sort of man who puts up with anything he doesn't like. Had I ever found you embarrassing, Hisui, I would've deserted you weeks ago." That said, he tilted up her chin and placed a light kiss on the tip of her delicate nose. "I do, however, find your obsession with money and image…irritating at times. I fail to see the point of obsessing over something as trivial as who designed my shirt and who else is wearing it."

Her eyes narrowed and her expression grew very dark at that. She jerked her chin away from his touch with an indignant snort. "You only want to be seen with me. I should've known you'd be a gold digger, Sesshomaru."

"Believe what you will, Hisui," Sesshomaru sighed wearily, as if he'd weathered this sort of childish tantrum before. "I have enough wealth and power of my own that I haven't even the slightest interest in yours." He checked his watch, then headed for the door. "Jaken will have my bags unpacked by now. If you want me, Hisui, I'll be at the hotel. May I have your man drive me?"

She fumed at him for a few moments, then made a bored gesture at him. "Fine. Tell him to return for me in an hour."

Without another word, not even a good bye to his girlfriend's son, Sesshomaru left. Yes, thought Mikoto, Sesshomaru might just be his mother's perfect match. He'd never seen her deflate so fast in his life. Hisui's cold stare snapped him out of his musings. "Mother, I—"

"I don't care what you think," she sniffed, "and I don't care what your son thinks, either." She waved Shinai out of her path and opened the door to the porch. The boys turned to face her at the sound, Shunusuke going a shade paler, Inu Yasha and Shippo tensing for trouble. "I don't care what you think of me, boy," Hisui told Shunusuke with a proud toss of her head, "I don't know you. If you don't want to be in my family, don't be. You'll have no inheritance from me." With that, she slid the door shut with a bang, collected her bodyguard and headed for the front door.

Shunusuke threw open the door and snapped: "My name is Shunusuke and my inheritance comes from my father and mother. I don't want your money and I don't need it." He closed the door and stomped back to the rail to glare at the trees, anger and embarrassment burning in his gut. She'd heard every word he'd said about her before, so he figured he had nothing to lose by speaking his mind. Anyway, if his father could do it, so could he.

Hisui froze in shock. How dare that little whelp, who had only a few drops of her mighty blood in his body, talk back to her? The brat was his father's son, alright: No gratitude and no respect. She turned very slowly to find Mikoto standing right behind her, Tsurai at his side, both of them ready to stop her if she wanted to punish Shunusuke for his honesty. Mikoto's eyes were as hard as hers, his face set in the same taught expression. In that instant, Hisui saw herself reflected in her son's face and felt a twinge of pride. "Do what you will, Mikoto, but you should pay for the damage you've done. It's bad for business to wreck a place like this and not make reparations or at least offer plausible explanations. Remember, you represent a high-profile corporation and an important family. You will always be under public scrutiny. If you go about destroying property and harming innocents, the public will crucify you, and your company will replace you with someone less damaging to its image...and so will I."

Mikoto relaxed and started breathing again. "You're right, Mother. I'll take care of it right away."

She smiled, victory was hers. "My car won't be here for another hour, darling, fix me a drink and let's talk like civilized demons." Hisui sat down on the couch and arranged her skirt, then looked up at Shinai and frowned. "Oh, darling, I know I interrupted your holiday, but would you please put on something more appropriate? And Mikoto, darling?"

"Yes, Mother?"

"Have Shunusuke and Yuki join us. Oh, and those other people, as well. I wish to speak to Inu Yasha about those shards." She smiled at her son's surprise and added: "You see? I do remember you children's names."


	11. Chapter 11

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Eleven

Everyone, even the token non-demon, was able to behave themselves like "civilized demons", except Inu Yasha, who wasn't willing to be on the same planet with anybody who wanted his jewel shards, much less be mature about it. He sat in a chair with his legs tucked under him, his arms crossed and glared out the glass doors to the porch with a stubborn frown on his face.

"They're mine, and you can't have them," he huffed.

Hisui flicked imaginary dust off the arm of the couch. She took a deep breath and for the third time asked (with monumental patience, she thought): "Why are they yours? The last report I had of the Shikon Jewel was that it was destroyed, and before that it belonged to a priestess named Kikyo. And yet, Mikoto had two shards. I suppose they escaped when the rest of the jewel was destroyed." She sucked smoke, blew it out, and continued in a thoughtful voice. "Sesshomaru seems to feel Kagome—" she gestured at the girl with her cigarette, "—can travel back and forth in time, back to the time before the jewel was destroyed. That, and what he told me about your mysterious disappearance four hundred years ago, add up to you being able to time travel, as well. If that logic holds true, then by your timeline, the jewel is quite whole…and you and Kagome are still trying to piece it together." Hisui smiled a lethal smile. "That's it, isn't it, Inu Yasha? Hmmm…that would mean it wasn't Kikyo who shattered it, but—" her glittering wolf's eyes flashed to Kagome, who gulped and abruptly stopped playing with Shippo's tail. Hisui giggled. "I see. My spies told me the priestess was wearing odd clothing, which I wrote off to some madness she got from being resurrected. I was sure that was what had happened, since I'd also received reports of her murder fifty years before. However, it became obvious later that Kikyo hadn't been resurrected yet at the time the jewel was broken. Until today, I had no explanation for that discrepancy."

"What's your point, bitch?" Inu Yasha asked darkly.

She smoked, smiled. "My point is this: I've been seeking the jewel far longer than you have. Therefore, my claim on it supercedes yours. Hand over the shards."

"The hell it does," Inu Yasha snorted. He pointed a sharp claw at her, putting his feet on the floor, just in case he had to spring. "Just because you heard of it first, doesn't make it yours. Kikyo was going to give it to me before Naraku tricked her into thinking I'd betrayed her—"

"And why on earth would she do something that stupid?" Hisui shot back. "She was a great priestess, guardian of the Shikon Jewel and an enemy of our kind. Why would she give something so powerful to a filthy, half-breed whelp like you? Don't tell me she thought you were cute!"

Kagome knotted her fists in Shippo's tail. Through clenched teeth, she growled: "Kikyo didn't think he's cute…she loved him!" She narrowed her eyes at Hisui, who was completely taken aback by her tone. "And it's true that she was going to give him the jewel, so it doesn't belong to you at all."

Everybody blinked at her in astonishment, especially Hisui, who couldn't believe the audacity of a mere mortal, to dare speak out of turn to the Great Demon of the Northern Lands. She dragged on her cigarette to master her irritation and bored holes into Inu Yasha, thinking: "She's your woman, put her in her place, idiot!"

But Kagome wasn't finished. "I'm the priestess guarding the jewel now, and I'm going to give it to him when it's whole, too."

"Kagome…" Shippo hissed, trying to warn her with his eyes to shut up and not reveal anything more about who really had the jewel these days. Knowing she had it would lead to, where is it, which would lead to a fight Shippo didn't think Inu Yasha could win or Kagome could survive. Not if Hisui Oukami was involved. And since when was Kagome a priestess?

Inu Yasha's heart stopped at Kagome's words. She planned to give him the jewel when they'd found all of the shards? Just…give it to him, to do with it whatever he wanted? Was she feeling ok? He gave her a sidelong look and gulped when he found her locked in a look of death match with a demon who could snuff her mortal life with very little effort. If Kagome thought Sesshomaru was trouble…

Mikoto motioned for Tsurai to bring his ear down so he could speak into it. "Bring me my meds. They're in the Benz." Tsurai flickered away, and Mikoto rubbed the back of his head where the mother of all migraines was just beginning to make it presence known. He sighed and gave Kagome a weary look. "Why would you want to give the jewel to him? What earthly use could a scruffy, potty-mouthed, walking attitude problem—"

"Look who's talking…" Inu Yasha muttered under his breath.

Mikoto didn't miss a beat. "—have for something as powerful as the Shikon Jewel?" He turned a disdainful look on Inu Yasha. "Tell me, Inu Yasha, I'm dying to hear your big plans. World domination, perhaps? Full demonhood so you can oust your brother? Buy the rights to the Beatles library from Michael Jackson? Go to Disneyworld? Join the American Republican Party?"

The first two made sense to Inu Yasha, but those other ideas went straight over his head. Why would anyone keep a library full of beetles, and why would he want to buy it from them? No danger of him wanting that bug library and he hated parties. Disneyworld sounded interesting, though. Could the jewel transport him there somehow? Was that what Asano was getting at? Kagome's world was so weird.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Kagome spoke first…with feeling, or maybe that was just the way she was pulling Shippo's tail. "It's none of your business what he does with it! Why don't you just give up and leave? You can't have the shards back and you can't have any other part of the jewel we might have and that's all there is to it. End of discussion."

Oh yes, this was definitely working up to a truly spectacular migraine. Mikoto groaned. Everything had seemed to simple and straightforward before Shunusuke and Yuki turned on him, and Hisui showed up with her latest boy toy. He was glad Sesshomaru wasn't here to ad his rapier wit to this discussion. His presence alone made Hisui even shallower, and her affectations even more pronounced than usual. It was as if one look at his pretty face sent her straight to the Bozone—do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars.

"And furthermore," Kagome continued more loudly, as Shippo tried to wriggle his tail out of her hand, "you've totally ruined everybody's holiday! What did you tell all those people to make them stay off the beach? There was nobody out there when I was trying to run away! Did you make them disappear? Is that where the gang went, too—to wherever you disappear people to?! Why do you think you can do that to people?! I hope somebody does call the police and the press, so you get exposed for the—"

"Kagome, you're pulling out my tail!" Shippo yowled, not just because it was true but to head her off at the pass before she crashed headlong into the wrath of the Great Demon of the Northern Lands.

Speaking of which, Hisui's face had turned a very unattractive shade of red, and her eyes were narrowed in an a way that made her look squinty. Not pretty at all. Mikoto was leaned over with his hands over his ears and his eyes squeezed shut, wishing Tsurai would hurry up with his medicine already. Kagome let go of Shippo, who scrambled off her lap and onto the back of Inu Yasha's chair where his tail would be out of everybody's reach.

"Well?" Kagome demanded. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Mikoto looked at Inu Yasha through slit eyes and snorted: "Nice girl, Inu Yasha. She should've been a demon."

Kagome trembled with rage, unable to think of a good come back that wouldn't indirectly insult Inu Yasha and ruin this nice, united front they had going.  
For the sake of world peace, Shunuske figured maybe he should jump in at this point and get the conversation back on track. He made a time out sign with his hands. "Why do you need the shards, Dad? Grandmother?"

"Just 'Hisui', please," Hisui pleaded and rolled her eyes, but her claws still flexed with the need to shred Kagome's hide. "'Grandmother sounds so…old."  
Shunusuke sighed. How much shallower could she get? She was over four hundred years old! "Hisui, then."

"Power, son," Mikoto replied. "The Shikon Jewel gives power to whoever holds it—even a single shard can magnify a demon's existing power tenfold or more. I had two before your punk friend stole them from me."

"With the mighty Hisui Oukami standing right there," Inu Yasha mocked. "Way to take decisive action, _Granny._"

Mother and son flexed their claws and narrowed their eyes at him. Shinai came to attention, his hands coming out of his jacket pockets, ready to go for his gun. He'd exchanged his beach bum gear for a nice, business casual look: Khaki pants, loafers, white polo shirt and green khaki blazer. Unlike his brother, he failed to see the point of wearing sunglasses indoors.

Shunusuke gritted his teeth. "Inu Yasha, will you give it a rest for a second?"

Once again, Kagome spoke before Inu Yasha could even open his mouth. "Don't ignore me! I asked a very important question: What happened to all the people that were at this resort, and what did you do to make them go away?"

Hisui's peeved glare turned from Kagome to Mikoto. "What does it matter how he did it, he's going to fix it, aren't you, Mikoto darling?"

Mikoto rubbed his temples but didn't look at her. The rug was a much more soothing color and it didn't make loud noises at him. At least it was getting dark outside, so he didn't have to deal with glaring sunlight coming through the porch doors. "Yes, mother, I'll fix it. As soon as we resolve the issue of the jewel shards Inu Yasha stole from me."

"How can I steal what belonged to me in the first place?"

Hisui lunged for him first, but Shinai was half a step behind her. Inu Yasha and Shippo dove in opposite directions, leaving Hisui on her knees in the chair, swiping at the air, and Shinai precariously balanced with his fingers on the back of the chair, trying not to fall on top of her.

"Mother, stop it!" Mikoto barked, sending icicles of pain lancing from one end of his skull to the other. He squeezed his head between his hands and whimpered. Where in the hell was Tsurai?

As if on command, the kitsune reappeared with a bottle of pills in one hand and a bottle of sparkling water in the other. Mikoto fumbled with the cap to the pill bottle, finally got it open, threw two of the pills into his mouth, then chugged them down with half of the bottle of water. He pocketed the pills, then leaned back with his eyes closed to wait for them to (maybe) take effect.

Hisui came around the back of the couch and gently stroked his hair away from his face. "I'm sorry, darling, I didn't realize you were getting a headache. We'll finish this discussion when you feel better. I'll make sure the shards don't leave before then." She lightly kissed his forehead, then fixed Kagome and Inu Yasha with a terrifying glare. "You will stay here until this matter is resolved."

Inu Yasha hmphed. "Or you'll do what?"

"Kill you."

* * *

The original condo-dwellers sat in the living room and wondered what they should do next. Inu Yasha was all for taking Kagome and Shippo and going back to his time but he didn't want to talk about it in front of Shunusuke and Yuki. For all he knew, their supposed betrayal of their father was really just another ploy to make him and Kagome trust them. Kagome was more concerned with where she was going to sleep that night. All of her things were back at the hotel: Her clothes, her toothbrush, her make-up. It was nice of Yuki to loan her clothes again, but they didn't fit quite properly, since Yuki was taller than she was and smaller in the hips. She really wanted to be in her own space with her own things. In fact, packing up and going home sounded like a great idea, except Hisui said she'd kill them if they tried to leave. Kagome's stomach went suddenly chill. Home was where her big chunk of the jewel was, stuck, unprotected, in her desk drawer. True, she was the only one who knew it was there, but once the Asano's figured out neither she nor Inu Yasha had it with them, it would only be a matter of time before they could guess it was at her house. The thought of Asano's creepy, dark-suited henchmen rooting through her home, maybe even threatening her family, was too much to bear. She had to get the shard away from there and to a safer place, and the only place she could think of was the past, where Inu Yasha had hidden his treasure, the Tetsusaiga. Of course, the Tetsusaiga didn't attract greedy demons as the jewel did, but it was better off there where Hisui and Mikoto couldn't get to it, than—Wait. Hisui sought the jewel four hundred years ago and failed to get it. Hadn't she said the jewel had been destroyed? Then the past had to be the best hiding place for it. But how to get it there, if they couldn't leave here without getting killed? The best candidate for sneaking away was Shippo, who could disguise himself as anything. No, that wouldn't work: Both Hisui and Mikoto had kitsune working for them, and they could probably see through Shippo's illusions, or at least detect them. And those twins, Shinai and Tsurai…they knew what they all smelled like now. If they're tracking ability was anything like Inu Yasha's, none of them would get past those sensitive noses. Yuki and Shunusuke couldn't be trusted, even though Yuki had saved her life. If it came down to a choice between her and their family, Kagome bet they'd pick their family.

Hmm… If she could get back to her hotel room, she could call home and maybe convince Sota to take the jewel to Kaede. No, she couldn't put her little brother into that much danger. There was no way to tell what he'd run into when he emerged from the well in the past. He could get lost, too, then he'd be easy prey for any demon who sensed the shard. Gramps? Kagome thought about it for a few moments, then rejected the idea. If he ran into a demon, he'd do something stupid like try to fight it with his imaginary priestly powers (the man thought he was Obi Wan Kenobi for some reason). Mom was totally out of the question. It would just have to be Sota, if they couldn't escape Hisui's spies and leave the beach. If she could get back to her hotel room without anybody being suspicious, she could call him—assuming Asano hadn't thought far enough to tap the phone lines, or disconnect them. Rei had called from the hotel to tip off Inu Yasha about the bad guys. That either meant all the phones were working, or that Asano had left Rei's working on purpose, knowing she'd try to call Inu Yasha. No, that didn't make sense. How would Mikoto know Rei was her friend? The answer was clear before she even finished the thought: Both Yuki and Shunusuke had seen her in Rei's company yesterday and had been present when Rei called about Asano's men. They also knew from Shippo that Rei was her friend. So it was entirely possible that Rei had been used to lure Inu Yasha to the hotel and that hers was the only operating telephone, if was still working anymore at all.

Kagome heaved a heavy sigh and asked disgustedly: "Do you think Hisui would pitch a fit if I slept in my own hotel room tonight? I don't think I could keep my eyes open another second," which was basically true, so Shunusuke wouldn't sense it was a lie. Could he hear people's thoughts, or just sense their emotions? Well, however his talent worked, it was creepy.

Yuki shrugged. "Do you want me to take you back?"

Inu Yasha growled. "I'll do it."

Yuki's face fell, but she didn't say anything. How could they not trust her after she'd saved Kagome's life? Beside her, her brother's expression mirrored hers, but Shunusuke could understand why Inu Yasha would be reluctant to trust them. "That sounds like a good idea. I don't think the restaurant's working, though. Do you want to eat before you go, or take something with you?"

Kagome saw that as a golden opportunity to see what Shunuske knew about the state of the phones at the hotel. "I was thinking of ordering delivery from my room, but thanks."

"I thought Rei said all the staff at the hotel was gone," Shunusuke asked, "and Dad said the lobby was wrecked when he fought Inu Yasha. Maybe you should take something with you from here."

Well, there was that, wasn't there. Kagome exchanged looks with Inu Yasha and Shippo. Shippo shrugged, Inu Yasha scowled. "We'll take something with us," he grunted on the way to the refrigerator to see what looked good. Kagome and Shippo followed him.

"I know you don't trust us," Shunusuke said quietly, watching Inu Yasha ransack the fridge like a pig rooting for tubers, "but Yuki and I really are on your side. We don't think what Dad's doing is right. Just keep that in mind, ok?"

Inu Yasha paused in his snack safari long enough to give Shunusuke a grim look over his shoulder, then went back to handing food to Kagome for her to make something interesting out of it. After a few minutes, they had a sack of rice balls and a Tupperware bowl of miso soup that Kagome heated in the microwave. With a promise to return Yuki's clothes the next day, Kagome, Inu Yasha and Shippo headed for the Green Mermaid, down a disturbingly empty beach.

* * *

The first thing Kagome did when she got to her room was test the phone by using it to try to call Rei, but Inu Yasha informed her that Tsurai had cut the phone cord in Rei's room before taking him and Yuki to the lobby. So, Shippo was dispatched to make sure Rei was alright. The next number Kagome dialed was to her home, but before the phone could ring even once, she hung up. What would she say if her mom answered? "Hi, Mom, everything's great, having fun." Not until she'd calmed down enough to lie without her voice giving her away.

"What's wrong?" Inu Yasha asked her around a mouthful of rice ball. "Who were you trying to call now?" He offered her a rice ball, which she took without really seeing it and sat down on the edge of the bed to munch on it while she collected her thoughts and made a plan.

"I think we should send the jewel shard to Kaede," she began, certain that Inu Yasha would go ballistic over the idea, but much to her surprise, he nodded his agreement and told her that was a good idea. "Do you think any of us could get past those bodyguards?" She shuddered at the thought of facing Asano's suits again without Yuki's power to protect her.

Inu Yasha started on rice ball number two. He sat down beside her and replied: "I might out fly them, but I don't know how to get back to your house from here—and they probably have more guys they can call to head me off before I can get there. And those two kitsune wouldn't be fooled by any of Shippo's lame tricks. You sure can't go."

"I know that," Kagome agreed and took a second rice ball from him. "I was thinking of getting Sota to take it through the well. I know he's just a little kid and he'd be in a lot of danger if he got lost or some demons found him before he could get to the village, but he's the only one who could do it. Mom couldn't, and Gramps would probably think he could fight off a demon attack and he'd just get killed, then the jewel would be gone."

"It would be gone if they got Sota, too," Inu Yasha reminded her but he was turning over her plan in his mind. It might work. It wasn't far from the well to Kaede's village, and once the boy got that far, he could tell the villagers who he was and they'd take him to the old witch. He might also run into Miroku and Sango, who could protect him if some demons sensed the jewel and came sniffing around. "That's a good plan," he declared at last, shocking Kagome half to death.

"Y-you like one of my plans?" She stammered.

The comical expression on her face as she stared at him with wide, startled eyes and a rice ball stuck in her mouth actually made Inu Yasha smile. "Yeah, you have good plans sometimes. Not as good as mine, though."

She plucked the rice ball from her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him. "Inu Yasha?"

"Hm?"

"Sit."


	12. Chapter 12

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Twelve

Kagome picked up the phone and started to dial her home number, but Inu Yasha stopped her.

"You want to send Sota through the well at night?" He asked incredulously. If his tone of voice was any indication, he was still miffed over being made to sit, even though Kagome swore she'd only been joking and had apologized three times now. "He could get jumped by bandits, or wild animals, not to mention demons!"

Kagome put the receiver back in its cradle and turned around to face him. "I was going to tell him to wait till morning, then go."

He rolled his eyes. "And if Asano's creeps can listen to your phone, then you'll just tip them off about where the jewel is, and they'll get a whole night's head start." He lay back on the bed and laced his fingers behind his head with a smug expression on his face. "Wait till morning, then call."

"Maybe you should try to get there tonight and take the jewel to Kaede yourself," Kagome suggested. "You're pretty fast. Maybe they won't notice you leaving—"

"I told you, I don't know how to get to your place from here!" Inu Yasha snapped back. "Even if you told me how, you'd just tell me the names of roads I don't know, like you did five minutes ago. They don't know where the jewel is, so just get some sleep." He shifted uncomfortably and added in a lower voice: "You had a rough day."

Kagome blinked at him in disbelief. Did he just say something sensitive and thoughtful? She watched him studiously refuse to look at her: Sour expression, jaw set, ears twitching. Yup, he'd said something selfless just then and was having the usual uncomfortable reaction to it. Kagome saw her opportunity to have a some fun at his expense and, with a sly little smile, she sat down on the edge of the bed and playfully patted his hip. That startled him a lot less than what she said while she did it. "You're right. I should get some sleep. Move over, ok?"

His eyes went wide and his whole body froze, except for his heart which felt like it was going to beat itself out of his chest. "M-move over? Y-you mean, you wanna share the b-b-bed with me? Us? Together? In the same b-bed? But Sh-Shippo'll be back any minute!" In his hurry to get out of her way, his right hand went straight off the bed, causing him to lose his balance and flail about until Kagome caught his arm and pulled him back up. However, once he was topside again, she didn't let go of his wrist, so they just sat there and stared at each other like a couple of deer caught in the headlights (only the doe was about to die laughing at the terrified look on the buck's face).

Kagome put on her sweetest, most innocent expression and asked in a cute voice: "What did you think I meant, Inu Yasha?"

He burbled.

"You said I'm your girlfriend, right?" She continued, still playing the innocent, while he gulped and sweat. This was even more fun than Sit. "And we're friends, too, right?" He nodded nervously. "So, I can trust you not to grope me in my sleep," she narrowed her eyes at him, "right?"

He gulped again and nodded.

"And you can trust me not to grope you in your sleep," she added with a satisfied grin.

Nod. Gulp. Sweat. A flash memory of Kagome standing naked at the foot of the bed back in the condo superimposed itself over her fully-clothed self sitting on the edge of this bed, and next thing Inu Yasha knew he was seeing her naked, talking about them sleeping together (but nothing else, just sleeping…together). In this setting, with her sitting next to him on a bed, looking at him like that, Inu Yasha found the idea of her cuddled up beside him very attractive. He realized it was the first time he'd really imagined something like that with Kagome instead of Kikyo. Then he remembered what happened to him last time he thought about Kagome in a bed and sent a mental feeler south to make sure his little demon was behaving himself, especially in these tight pants. Everything was in its place. Whew!

Kagome's next comment changed all that. She twirled a lock of hair around her pinky, batted her eyelashes at him and said coyly: "Unless you want me to…"  
He saw her saying that naked.

Kitsune are tricksters by trade, and to work a good trick one must have impeccable timing. Shippo's couldn't have been better (depending upon your point of view). He burst into the room wearing his human disguise and the exact same expression Inu Yasha was and babbled at high speed: "Rei wants me to stay with her in her room and protect her from bad guys, you guys! Me! Her! Alone! In her room! I don't know her well enough for that, but she's so cute, and I'm a really a little kid, not a cute human guy! Holy shit, you guys, what'll—" he stopped, blinked at the scene on the bed, saw the look on Inu Yasha's face, gulped. With a nervous laugh, he backed toward the door. "Whoa. Sorry, you guys. Um, I'll, uh, just…you know…wing it with Rei, ok?" He jerked open the door, zipped through and let it slam shut behind him. A couple of seconds later, he opened the door a crack and poked his head inside to comment with a wicked grin: "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, ok?" Closed the door more quietly, then opened it again and amended: "Forget that. Don't do anything Yuki wouldn't do. Have fun. Bye."

Blink-blink-blink.

Kagome and Inu Yasha scrambled for the door at the same time, fought over the knob for a few seconds, then finally got it open and tumbled through it in time to see Shippo jump into the elevator. "It's not what you think!" They shouted after him, then stomped back into the room in a huff.

"You started it," Inu Yasha mumbled.

Kagome didn't answer him, so he turned around expecting to find her ready to yell "sit" at him because she would surely blame him for everything, since he was the man and she was the woman, and stuff like this was always the man's fault. She was blushing and looking at his pants. Dread froze his innards as he swallowed hard and followed her embarrassed gaze. He spun about, stalked to the porch door, unlocked it, flung it open, stomped onto the porch, slammed the door behind him and plopped down in a corner with his back to her. His face burned and his hands shook. Stupid girl. It wasn't _that _bad. What was her problem? It was her fault. Shit. Not only did she see it, so did Shippo, and that little furball was sure to tell Kagome's friend that Inu Yasha and Kagome were doing it. Well, they weren't doing it. And they wouldn't be doing it, either! Bitch. Didn't her mother teach her that it's mean to tease boys? She could get into a lot of trouble doing stuff like that. He pulled his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. When'd Kagome get so flirty, anyway? Was it because he kissed her before and admitted he thought she was his girlfriend? Now she expected him to do that with her all of a sudden? His brain replayed her asking him to move over so she could join him on the bed, and he realized she really had only been teasing him, just like Sit, only meaner. Well, Kagome probably didn't think she was being mean, but how could a girl understand what a man felt when she acted like that? But…he sort of liked being flirted with. Kikyo had never done that, though Kikyo had been a more serious person, someone with a lot more responsibilities and maturity than Kagome. It made him sad to realize that Kikyo had probably never had a chance to be just an ordinary girl. Come to think of it, he'd never been able to be just an ordinary (half-demon son of a major demon lord) boy. He'd been hoping for fun in the sun, following Kagome to the beach. No jewel shards, no demons, no Sesshomaru, no danger. Just him and Kagome at the seashore. Oh well, at least he'd accomplished one of his goals: He kissed her. Then Shunusuke's dad showed up with a couple of jewel shards and his mother the Great (pain-in-the-ass) Demon of the Northern Lands and her boyfriend (the even-bigger-pain-in-the-ass) Sesshomaru. "Never a dull moment" must just be his karma.

Inu Yasha rested his chin between his knees and glared at the beach below his perch. At least Kagome was flirting with him now. Or was it that he was only just now noticing and responding when she flirted with him? He sighed. No matter how flirtatious she was with him, he was sure Kagome didn't really want to sleep with him like that. How could he have even imagined for a second that she'd want him in that way? She wasn't that kind of a girl and he wasn't that kind of a guy. Now he felt totally stupid for getting all excited. All at once a cruel thought insinuated itself into the most insecure corner of his psyche: Had she been about to make some snide comment before he stormed off to sulk on the balcony?

The door slid open and shut, and soon Kagome was sitting shoulder to shoulder with him, mimicking his fetal pose. Inu Yasha toyed with the idea of jumping over the rail and running away but he changed his mind when she leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to do that to you."

He snorted his low opinion of that. "You were laughing, weren't you?"

She lifted her head and craned her neck around to look him in the eyes, but he kept them stubbornly closed. "Laughing at what?" Then she got it. He was insecure about that? Not that she was any authority or even wanted to be but in her humble, clueless, mortified experience (just that evening with him), there was nothing about him to make her laugh. Blush furiously and want to run and hide with shame because she'd played such a low-down, dirty trick, sure, but not laugh at him. Anyway, it hadn't been _that_ bad. In fact, she was a little flattered that he'd find her that desirable. Still, she didn't want him to think she was that kind of a girl. "Inu Yasha," she assured him in an embarrassed voice and lay her head back on his shoulder, "you have nothing to worry about."

His heart skipped, and he couldn't keep a smirk from creeping onto his lips. Damn right he had nothing to worry about.

They were quiet for a long time before he realized she'd fallen asleep. It was so nice sitting there with her leaning against him, a cool ocean breeze tossing their hair and a sky full of stars, that Inu Yasha decided he'd just close his eyes and enjoy it for a few minutes before carrying her inside.

* * *

Shippo and Rei sat at the little table in the corner of her hotel room and gossiped about Kagome and Inu Yasha, since the TV didn't work, room service was non-existent, the phone cord was cut and neither of them had the courage to venture onto the beach.

"I don't think they'll do it," Rei declared matter-of-factly. "Kagome's not that kind of a girl. He'll have to marry her first."

Shippo nodded. "Yeah, you're right. She's too nice."

Pause. "You don't think Inu Yasha'll try anything, do you?" Rei asked with wide eyes. "I mean, he's kind of, you know, a punk."

A punk? Shippo stifled a snicker. Yeah, that about summed up Inu Yasha, but he wasn't the kind of guy to force himself on a girl. At least, Shippo didn't think he was. It'd been hard enough for the poor sod to admit he thought of Kagome as his girlfriend. However, the two of them had been mighty cozy when he'd run upstairs for advice, and Inu Yasha had been rather…excited. Even if Dog Boy did try anything (vehemently as he denied anything was going on), Kagome probably wouldn't let him get away with it. "Nah, he won't try anything. I don't think he'd know what to do, even if he wanted to try something. Anyway, Kagome wouldn't let him."

She nodded sagely, then they went back to being uncomfortable about being alone in her hotel room together.

"Maybe we should stay with them tonight?" Rei suggested after a while.

Shippo considered it, then imagined what Inu Yasha would do to his skull if he even suggested it and decided he and Rei were better off being nervous. "I think they want to be alone."

"To do what?!"

Shippo gaped at her. It was so obvious! "To kiss, what else?!"

"Oh yeah." Rei looked away and played with her hair for a while.

Shippo stared at the blank TV screen and wondered what he'd do when he couldn't hold his disguise any longer. He hoped Rei would be asleep by then, but the way things were going, neither of them were going to get any sleep that night. He looked at Rei out of the corner of his eye but quickly turned away when he discovered she was doing the same thing to him. They cleared their throats. He'd just have to tell her the truth, that's all there was to it. It wasn't like the relationship could ever go anywhere, or anything. He was a little kid in youkai years (and in physical appearance—sigh), she was practically a full-grown human woman. A rather cute, full-grown human woman, in fact. Nice, too. And she seemed to like him, which rather complicated things. What if she hated him for tricking her into thinking he was something he wasn't?

He cast another sidelong glance her way to find she was once again looking at him. She smiled shyly and blushed. Shippo felt his face get warm and decided a little pacing might help him think, so he got up and walked over to the TV. As he turned to face her, he decided honesty was the best policy, took a deep breath and said: "Rei, there's something you should know about me—"

Rei slapped her hands over her mouth and bugged at him in dismay. "You're gay?!"

Shippo blinked. "NO! What gave you that idea?" He wasn't sure what "gay" meant in this context, but he had a feeling it was something a woman would find dreadful if a man told her that's what he was.

She looked relieved. "That's usually what a man tells a woman when he starts out with 'there's something you should know about me'. That's when he comes out of the closet and tells her he likes men."

"I am not gay." Definitely not, he added to himself.

"Good." She smiled happily, then suddenly her face fell. "You have a girlfriend."

"Uh…no…"

Rei's eyes got really, really huge, and she gasped: "You're really a woman!"

"NO!" Shippo turned bright red. Where did she get these ideas, anyway?

Her gaze dropped to her lap, and she sighed in a timid voice: "You don't like me."

Surreal… Shippo was really beginning to have serious doubts about the coolness of dating girls someday. Maybe he should be gay: He understood guys. No, no, he'd stick to mysterious girls. He rolled his eyes and ticked off the points on his fingers: "I'm not gay or a woman, I don't have a girlfriend and I like you. You're really nice and cute."

"You like me?" She repeated coyly as she got up and came over to stand really, really close to him. She took his face in her hands. "Then you won't mind if I do this?"

She kissed him.

Shippo's eyes went wide and his bones turned to mush. If he hadn't had his butt resting on the edge of the dresser, he was sure his knees would've given out, and he'd be on the ground with a cute, nice, affectionate girl on top of him. Then again, maybe letting the ol' knees give out might not be such a bad idea—stop that!

After a zillion years, their lips parted. "You're gonna be so mad at me," Shippo moaned. He ruffed his fingers through his hair, then paused and grinned at her. "But first, do that again."

She started to, but Shippo wanted her to still speak to him in the morning, so he stopped her. "Please don't hate me, ok? Remember I tried to tell you, but you didn't let me. Ok?"

Rei narrowed her eyes at him, dreading what he was going to say, and nodded. "Ok. You don't work for that Tsurai guy, do you?"

Shippo frowned impatiently. "You're doing it again."

She blushed. "Sorry."

"I don't work for him or his boss," Shippo explained, "but Tsurai and I do have something really important in common," he took a deep breath and spit it out: "We're both kitsune."

Rei's face lit up. "Cool!"

"Only, he's a lot older than me."

"Well, kitsune live a really long time, right?"

Shippo shrugged and sort of nodded. Technically true. "Yeah, but I mean he's really a lot older than me. Like, I'm—" he stumbled over the words, unable to tell her point blank that she'd just kissed a little boy. So he decided to show her instead. As he reached for the invisible leaf atop his head, he told her worriedly: "Remember, you promised you wouldn't hate me."

"I couldn't hate you, Shippo," Rei assured him sweetly. "You're too nice. Whatever you really are."

Hold that thought. Shippo closed his eyes and took off the leaf. In a whirl of golden sparkles he reverted to his natural form. Rei watched him get shorter and younger, and her jaw dropped father and farther. When it was all over, she had to sit down.

"I didn't want to trick you," Shippo explained hurriedly, "Inu Yasha and I were trying to blend, so we wouldn't get Kagome in trouble."

"So…you're here for her, huh?" Rei asked sadly as she sat on the bed.

Shippo hopped onto one of the chairs by the table. "Inu Yasha's here for her. I just followed him to keep him out of trouble," he rolled his eyes and added with a snort: "Yeah, like that ever works!"

Rei nodded. After a few moments of awkward silence, she grinned at him. "Can we still be friends?"

* * *

Inu Yasha and Kagome were still on the porch, sound asleep when morning came, and Shippo (in human form) and Rei timidly knocked on the door to see if they wanted breakfast. Getting no answer, they opened the door a crack, a bit startled to find it unlocked, and Shippo poked his head in to have a look about. He spied the pair, leaning against one another on the porch and motioned Rei into the room behind him. He pointed through the glass doors and giggled. For some reason, Rei didn't find it quite as funny and dragged him back out of the room and very quietly shut the door behind them.

Inu Yasha's ears swiveled backwards to listen to the activity in the room behind him while the rest of him continued to doze. His eyes squinted open, then squeezed shut again against the bright morning sunshine. Seagulls cried as they soared overhead, the tide crashed against the beach, vacationers laughed—  
Waitaminit.

Inu Yasha's eyes flew open to find a small group of teenagers searching for shells in the sand. Looking to his right, he could see part of the hotel's back veranda where a handful of teenagers, Sesshomaru, Hisui, Mikoto Asano and their entourage were enjoying breakfast as if the events of the previous day had never happened. Then his ears picked up less peaceful construction noises as Shippo and Rei appeared on the veranda, saw the Asano party and hesitated. Inu Yasha's muscles tensed, and he prepared to spring if things got nasty down there, but with a cheerful wave, Hisui called to Shippo and directed him and Rei to a table near hers. Then the Great Demon of the Northern Lands snapped her fingers until a young man in a crisp, white apron appeared, pulled out a pad of paper and a pen and started writing while she talked. Occasionally, she'd consult Shippo and Rei to make sure she was ordering what they wanted to eat, and the frightened teenagers would nod at her and say nothing. Inu Yasha wondered how many times Hisui had called her new victims "darling" before finally getting their order placed and sending the waiter away. Had she noticed him and Kagome sleeping up there on the porch like a couple of saps? Worse, had Sesshomaru seen them?

Inu Yasha growled, his happy mood from the night before shot all to hell by the very thought of his brother intruding upon it in any way. Then Hisui was looking straight at him and Kagome with that superior look on her perfect little face, and Inu Yasha thought he was going to be sick. Gods he hated that woman. What did Sesshomaru see in her, anyway? Even Big Brother wasn't that shallow. Hisui waved at him to come down and join them as if they were all just a bunch of pals on a beach outing. That got Sesshomaru's attention, and the brother from hell turned his head around then up, saw the warm and fuzzy moment happening outside Kagome's hotel room, blinked, then turned around and resumed sipping his tea. "I hate him so much," Inu Yasha grumbled. Hisui gave him an impatient look, then threw up her arms in disgust and made some joke about him to her companions. Inu Yasha couldn't clearly hear what she said, but whatever it was, it made everybody laugh, then look up at him. Evidence enough that he was being mocked. The bitch was probably saying how cute he and Kagome looked all cuddled up like they were.

"Wake up, Kagome," he grumped and gave her shoulder a nudge that was a little rougher than he'd intended but did the job. "Hisui wants us to have breakfast with her."

Kagome rubbed her eyes and yawned: "And you're just gonna go?" She froze in mid-stretch when she saw how normal everything was again. "What in the world…?"

"Guess Asano 'fixed it'," Inu Yasha snorted. He got up and went into the hotel room to find where he was supposed to relieve himself, Kagome on his heels.  
"Shippo and Rei are down there, too!" She exclaimed.

He shrugged as he located the bathroom, then the light switch. "Yeah, I know. Looks like Hisui's buying." He shut the door on her startled face, leaving her to sit on the bed with her legs crossed until he finished.

After she'd showered, Kagome once again started to call home, and again Inu Yasha stopped her. "It's light now!" She protested.

"I know that!" He shot back. "I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were gonna say to your mom if she answers the phone. You can't tell her I'm here."

"And I can't tell her what's been going on, either," Kagome added thoughtfully. "How can I explain wanting to talk to Sota?" Suddenly her face lit up and she snapped her fingers. "I know! I'll talk to everybody! They'll all want to know how my holiday's going, anyway."

Inu Yasha nodded and handed her the phone. "Right. Just remember not to mention me, ok?"

Kagome started to dial, then hung up again and gave him a suspicious look. "Why not? What did you do?"

Inu Yasha ducked his head and paced to the dresser to fiddle with some change she'd left there. "She didn't want me to follow you here, that's all. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Inu Yasha, I am in trouble…"

He tiddly-winked a 500 Yen coin into an ashtray halfway down the dresser by rebounding it off the side of the TV. "I mean, with your mom! I don't think she likes me."

A second coin was ready to join the first one in the ashtray, but Kagome smacked her hand over Inu Yasha's, flattening his palm onto the pile of money with a metallic crunch. "What…did…you…do?"

He scratched the pine dresser top with his claws but not hard enough to dislodge her hand. "I, uh…" he coughed, "acted sort of, you know—She's just got this thing against demons, ok?"

"You were acting jealous, weren't you?" Kagome applied more pressure to his hand, forcing the coins into his palm. Inu Yasha grimaced and shrugged with the shoulder attached to his free hand. Kagome wrapped her fingers around his hand and pulled it off the coins. "A jealous demon must be a pretty scary thing to see," she said coyly and pulled him closer until he at last looked at her face. "What did she say to you? Was she mad?" Kagome took his other hand and gently tugged until their bodies were touching and their faces were just inches apart.

His mouth twitched. Kagome wasn't mad at him? "Yeah, sort of, I guess. She, um, said she wasn't going to let you come to the past anymore and, um, you couldn't see me anymore. Ever."

Kagome's eyes got big and dewy. "Ever?" She pulled down on his hands to give him the hint to bring his lips into range. "Like, never-ever?"

Inu Yasha nodded stupidly. They had more important things to worry about—like Hisui losing her patience and sending someone to find out what was keeping them, but hell with that, Kagome wanted a kiss, and who was he to say no when she looked at him like that? He freed his hands to run them up her arms, then into her wet hair and down her back as he crushed her lips with his. Kissing was good. That other stuff could wait for now.

As long as she didn't get naked in front of him again. Or tease him about them sharing a bed. Or…mmmm…sigh like that. He found himself thinking maybe it would be nice to do this kissing thing on the bed and was just getting a good mental picture of that when reality tried to insinuate itself.

The jewel! They had to get it…uh…somewhere…yeah. Somewhere with whitsisname. Little guy. Shippo—no, Sota. Yeah, that guy.

Suddenly, Kagome stopped kissing him and pushed away a little bit so she could look down. Inu Yasha turned bright red and thought: "Here we go again." Why in the hell did she have to act so curious about that if she didn't mean to go any farther than just kissing him?

He cleared his throat. "I guess we should, uh, get downstairs before Hisui sends one of her jerks to finds us." Kagome kept staring. "Uh, Kagome? My face is up here." He chucked her under the chin to make her look up. Not surprisingly, her face was beet red, and she couldn't seem to meet his eyes.

"I was just," she gulped, "I—just all of a sudden thought about what Sesshomaru said…about me being pregnant…and that made me think about how I got that way…then about—" she swallowed and blushed even more, "you know. That. I mean, getting pregnant, and, well, um…I'm not—"

Inu Yasha hugged her, not really wanting to explore that issue just then. "I think he was just being Sesshomaru. Even if he did see you pregnant, we were probably married, or something. Or you were married to whoever the father's supposed to be…I guess." Better not be that damn priest, he added to himself.  
"It'll be you."

Inu Yasha's heart skipped, and his breath caught in his throat. "Do you—Is that what you really want?" He pushed her away and had to force her head up to look at him again. She wanted to have his baby? If she wanted to have a baby at all, he amended quickly. Sesshomaru had probably just said he'd seen her pregnant to throw her off guard, or maybe just to be perverse. But, it wasn't like Sesshomaru to say something if wasn't a means to an end. "Really? You want a kid that's part demon and half me?" Unless he used the jewel to become a full human, as he'd planned to do for Kikyo. "I thought you thought I was a jerk?"

She shrugged and smiled nervously. "You can be. You can be really nice, too. Like now."

That deserved a kiss.

Someone applauded. Not very loudly, but quite nearby, like…from the vicinity of the bed. They broke their kiss and with dread knotting their insides turned their heads as one to find Shinai on his belly on the bed, propped on his elbows, chin cupped in his hands, a very amused expression on his foxy face. He was halfway between human and fox, with pointy black ears sticking out of his silky hair and a long, fluffy tail poking out of a hole in the back of his baggy blue shorts. He was back to that beach bum look again, Hawaiian tourist shirt and all.

"Aw, c'mon, you guys," he pouted, "it was just starting to get good!"

Inu Yasha growled at him and flexed his claws. "Get lost!"

Shinai grinned from ear to ear and rolled onto his back, letting his head loll over the end of the bed and his hair drag the floor. He laced his fingers across his chest and twitched the silvery tip of his tail between his feet. "Melrose Place, you ain't. Man, you guys need to take lessons, or something." He freed one hand to point at Inu Yasha's pants. "Cold shower, Buddy. Now. Unless you want Hisui all over that. I hear Sesshomaru doesn't put out as much as Her Ladyship likes it." Shinai licked his fangs and added lewdly. "Maybe Little Brother'll make up the difference?"

"Maybe you will," Inu Yasha snarled, but took the man's advice. He'd spend the rest of his life alone in a room with his brother and the Tetsusaiga before he spent one second with an amorous Hisui. He got halfway to the bathroom before he realized he was leaving Kagome alone with Shinai, who seemed just a little too interested in the girl. Inu Yasha stomped back, grabbed Kagome's wrist and dragged her into the bathroom with him, then closed and locked the door. As if that would keep the kitsune out. The big pervert would probably appear in the room just to see if Kagome watched while he showered.

"Uh…Kagome?"

She turned her back on the shower area, closed her eyes, then covered her face with her hands. "I won't look. Go ahead."

"You can look," he mumbled, "if you want to. I saw you."

Kagome declined to peek. "Maybe later."

"Yeah," he nodded, feeling a little disappointed, then scolded himself for even entertaining the idea of getting naked in front of Kagome. She'd already seen more of him than she wanted to. Probably more of any man than she wanted to. "I'll make it fast."

From the other side of the door, Shinai teased: "You're gonna do that in front of her?" Then he appeared in the room right in front of Kagome: "BOO!"

She yelped and fell backwards into Inu Yasha's arms.

"Can I watch, too?" Shinai begged like a trained pup, with his tongue dangling and his hands up like paws. "Please?"

Inu Yasha and Kagome narrowed their eyes at him, but before either could move to pound him, he disappeared again. Kagome trembled with rage and snarled: "Promise me you'll kill him."

"Any way you like."

* * *

When they emerged from the bathroom, there was no sign of Shinai. They poked around the hotel room, looking under the bed, in the closet and on the porch just to make sure the kitsune was really gone. A look over the balcony rail showed him to be sitting next to Hisui, sipping a colorful drink with a little paper umbrella in it. "Freak," Inu Yasha muttered as he watched Hisui's guard dude yuk it up with his boss and her relatives. There was Yuki, wearing next to nothing and hanging on Hisui's every word, and Shunusuke, who leaned back in his chair and watched the beachcombers with a look on his face that rivaled any bored expression Sesshomaru had ever worn. In a moment, he realized he was being watched and casually glanced up at Inu Yasha just long enough to let the demon know he knew he was there, then went back to being bored.

Inu Yasha leaned against the rail and alternated his attention between the soothing sea and the annoying breakfast club below. He didn't envy Shippo and Rei one bit. Maybe if he and Kagome dawdled long enough they could avoid having to try to eat and tolerate bad company at the same time. Maybe she'd want to make out some more. One of his ears twisted backwards at the sound of Kagome's voice on the telephone. Calling home at last, he thought, and softly closed the glass door behind him just in case someone down below had hearing better than his.

"Oi! Dog Breath!" Shinai called up to him.

Inu Yasha made a socially unacceptable gesture at him , which Shinai found hilarious, but disgusted Hisui. The kitsune grinned, happy to have found another button to push. He held up a bright orange fruit and pitched it at Inu Yasha, who caught it easily. The first was followed by another one, then two cans of something labeled in a foreign language. "Oranges and coffee!" Shinai explained with a thumbs up gesture. "Yummy! Good after sex!"

"We didn't have sex, asshole!" Inu Yasha shouted back with a growl, getting the attention of everybody within earshot. He flushed and sniffed the oranges, then licked one of them and made a sour face.

"Peel it first, idiot," Shinai advised and demonstrated the proper technique with his own fruit.

Inu Yasha peeled the orange in the same way Shinai did it, using the claw on his thumb like a paring knife, then tore out a section and with much trepidation, popped it into his mouth. "Not bad," he called to Shinai, then held up one of the cans. "What's this shit?"

"Chilled coffee. Enjoy."

Since Inu Yasha knew his way around pop top cans, he had the coffee open and chugged before really giving it a good sniff first. "People think this tastes good?!"

Shinai nodded and grinned. "Morning beverage, gets the juices flowing! Not that you need any help with that, you little love machine, you!"

With a disgusted growl, Inu Yasha took the so-called breakfast back into the hotel room. By then, Kagome was off the phone, so he asked the obvious question with a meaningful look. She responded with a shaky smile and a nod. Sota was good to go and soon the jewel would be safely in Kaede's hands.

And so it was with great relief that Inu Yasha and Kagome finally adjourned to the veranda to have more to eat than oranges and canned coffee (or "liquid horse shit", as Inu Yasha thought of it). It took them only a moment to make the horrified realization that Shinai and his twin were gone.


	13. Chapter 13

**(Lucky chapter 13. Well, lucky for Miroku and Sango fans, at least, since this chapter marks the point where those two actually become involved in the story. -GreyAncient)**

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Thirteen

Sota rifled through Kagome's desk drawers with his heart racing like crazy. Bad guys were after the jewel even on his sister's vacation. Poor Kagome couldn't relax in her own time at a beach! And this was her big chance to have some quality date time with Inu Yasha, too! (Of course, Sota was sure Kagome didn't see it that way but he wasn't blind: Those two were crazy about each other.) Where was that stupid jewel? Nothing in the pencil drawer, on to the first of a set of three smaller drawers on the right hand side of the desk. Top drawer: No jewel. Middle: No jewel. Bottom: No jewel. Huh?! Sota was ready to pull his hair out. She said it was in her desk drawer. So he went through all of the drawers again, but still no jewel. Ok, maybe Kagome had been mistaken. Maybe it wasn't in a drawer, but in one of the containers on top of the desk. He upended the pencil cup and was rewarded with pens, pencils and dust. Letter box! Letter from pen pal in England, letter from Aunt Himiko in Kobe, love letter from Hojo—eh? Sota started to read that one, then tossed it aside. He had more important things to do than be nosy. Shuffle-shuffle. Crud. Where was it? On the shelf over the desk? Sota climbed onto the desktop and moved around the cutesy little knick-knacks his sister collected, lifting up statuettes of Sailor Scouts and Magic Knights and moving books—and finding nothing.

With a frustrated sigh, he flopped onto the chair to think. "If I was Kagome, where would I hide the Shikon Jewel?" He thought for a few seconds, then thumped himself on the forehead for being so stupid. "In a _box_ in a drawer!" He opened the small top drawer and took out a little ceramic box he'd merely pushed aside before and set it on top of the desk. He gulped and opened it. "Yes!" Tossing the chain over his head, Sota tucked the jewel under his collar and tore out of the house, headed for the well shrine.

He honestly didn't expect anyone to be waiting for him in the courtyard, or if he did, he didn't expect them to have tails and furry ears. One of them wore shorts and a Hawaiian print shirt, the other was much more conservative in khakis and a white polo. Sota decided not to wait around to find out whose side they were on. They spotted him as he dashed for the shrine containing the Bone Eater's Well and disappeared. That freaked Sota out but he heard Kagome's voice in his head telling him not to stop for anybody and just kept running. They were waiting for him on the platform above the well, one at either side of the door. Sota slipped through their clawed hands and jumped straight off the platform, into the well, and the two kitsune jumped after him. Sota had only the briefest thought that if he didn't go into the past, he'd probably break every bone in his body, then he went through.

"Shit."

Shinai and Tsurai just hit dirt.

* * *

As soon as he appeared in the past, Sota clamored up the stone insides of the well, over the lip and tumbled onto the grass where he panted on his hands and knees to catch his breath. It took him a second to notice the sandaled feet and the blue hem of a robe that came into view. When he did, Sota yelped and tried to crawl away, only to find that the owner of the feet and robe was holding him by the back of his shirt.

"Let go!" Sota shrieked and struggled but to no avail. So he turned his frightened eyes upwards to look into his captor's face. He expected to find another kitsune, though when he thought about it the idea was absurd: What kitsune wore the robes of a Buddhist priest? (Or khakis or Hawaiian shirt for that matter.) Not that he was any authority on kitsune, or anything, but none of Gramps' stories had included Buddhist kitsune priests. (Actually, most of the kitsune in Gramps' tales were female and incredibly seductive, but Sota wouldn't understand that trend for at least ten more years.) "Let me go!"

The priest looked him over with lazy eyes and gave him a kind, if puzzled, smile. "Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you."

Sota realized he couldn't get away, so he quit struggling. The priest interpreted that as trust. "I couldn't help but notice you came from Kagome's well. I'm a friend of hers, you know."

Sota gave him a suspicious look. "Yeah, right. You're probably with those kitsune guys." He started struggling again. "Let me go!"

"'Kitsune guys'?" He frowned. "The only kitsune I know is Shippo, and he went into the well with Inu Yasha four days ago. Obviously, I am not with him."

Sota abruptly stopped struggling. "You—you're Shippo's friend? And Inu Yasha's?" Then he narrowed his eyes. "Or are you their enemy?"

"I'm Miroku," the priest introduced himself proudly, but the expected instant recognition was nowhere to be found in the little boy's face. "Hasn't Kagome mentioned me? I travel with her and Inu Yasha."

Blank look.

"The priest?"

Blank look.

Miroku patted his right wrist, the hand of which was holding onto Sota's shirt. "Air Rip?"

Blank look.

The priest rolled his eyes to the heavens and sighed. "Lecher?"

Sota's face lit up. "Oh! You're that guy! Kagome sent me here! She's in trouble and told me to take the jewel to Kaede! Do you know where Kaede lives, Lecher?"

"That's 'Miroku'," the priest corrected him pointedly, then the rest of what Sota had said sank in and his heart skipped. "Kagome's in trouble?! What kind of trouble? With who?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What did Inu Yasha do this time?"

"It's not Inu Yasha's fault!" Sota protested as Miroku took him into his arms and ran from the well. "Hey!"

"I'm taking you to Kaede," the priest explained. "Now tell me what kind of trouble Kagome is in. You said something about kitsune before. Are there kitsune involved?"

Sota nodded. "They work for the son of the Great Demon of the Northern Lands," he frowned thoughtfully, trying to remember exactly what Kagome had told him to say, "or was it the Southern Lands? Something about a Jade Wolf…"

Miroku hissed: "Not Hisui Oukami?!"

"That's it!" Sota exclaimed. "Do you know her?"

"I've heard of her," Miroku replied grimly. "She got to be the Great Demon of the Northern Lands by killing off the rest of her family. I didn't know she had any children, though. Hm. Must be from the future, then."

Sota shrugged. "I guess. Kagome said her son had two jewel shards, but Inu Yasha took them. A couple of kitsune chased me into the well. I think they were after the jewel." He pulled it out of his shirt and held it in front of Miroku's face. Miroku's eyes went wide, but since his arms were occupied with Sota, he couldn't do anything else. Sota continued: "She told me to take the jewel and go to the past and find Kaede."

"What did she think Kaede would do?" Miroku asked in irritation. Kaede would just hide the jewel until Kagome came for it, but what if something happened to Kagome and she never came for it? What if Kagome never came to the past again? Unthinkable! There was nothing for it but to go to the future and rescue her. Certainly if he told Sango there were demons involved, she'd accompany him. What was Kagome thinking, entrusting the Shikon Jewel to this helpless little boy? She must really be in trouble to be that desperate.

"I don't know," Sota answered and put the jewel around his neck again. "She just said 'Kaede will know what to do'. So I guess we have to ask Kaede what to do."

"I know what to do," Miroku told him in a determined voice. "Kagome's in danger, so I must return with you to the future and rescue her," he paused then added self-consciously: "With help from Sango—"

"The demon hunter!" Sota finished for him excitedly.

Miroku's heart sank. Oh sure, Kagome told the kid everyone's name but his. After all the times he'd fought by her side, saved her life, treated her like a real woman (unlike that cretin Inu Yasha, who wouldn't know how to treat a woman if someone gave him an instruction book)...and she didn't even tell—who was this kid, anyway? "Hey, kid. You never told me your name."

"Sota Higurashi. I'm Kagome's little brother."

Oh ho! Her brother, was he? Here was a golden opportunity to make a great impression on Kagome: Suck up to her brother, and the boy might see fit to convince his sister that Miroku the handsome priest was a much better catch than Inu Yasha the socially inept dog demon. Never mind that Kagome and Inu Yasha genuinely seemed to have a crush on each other, Inu Yasha never treated her right. He put her down and wasn't very affectionate with her. Women liked affection and to be treated nicely, spoken to with kind, flattering words, not "bitch" or "wench" or "idiot". Kagome deserved better, and if Inu Yasha didn't get a clue anytime soon, Miroku would be there to show her how pleasant a relationship could be. Step number one: Make nice with her brother. Step number two: Rescue her from that evil, homicidal bitch Hisui Oukami and her (probably) equally nasty offspring and his minions. He would definitely need Sango for this one (not a bad thing, since she was beautiful when she was fighting demons, swinging that giant boomerang thing around, slender muscles rippling beneath her snug clothing). Yes indeed. Definitely needed to bring Sango along.

* * *

Inu Yasha and Kagome sat with Shippo and Rei and had a lovely breakfast as long as nobody at the next table tried to converse with them. They couldn't discuss their fears about the kitsune twins' disappearance and Sota's mission, so they commented on how fast things had gotten back to normal at the hotel, and how the other guests seemed oblivious to the fact that Hisui, Sesshomaru and Mikoto didn't look entirely human. Kagome hoped Shinai and Tsurai had been sent on some other mission, and didn't know anything about Sota taking the jewel into the past at all. Then all of a sudden she saw Shunusuke looking at her and remembered his telepathic powers. Had he heard her thinking about Sota? Could he actually hear thoughts, or just pick up on people's feelings and guess what they were thinking from those? Well, if that was case, Shunusuke knew on no uncertain terms that she was scared out of her mind. Hisui gave her the creeps, especially when she was being "nice", (Hisui's brand of nice was about as pleasant as fingernails on a chalk board) which was how she was acting now. Just the happy, bubble-headed socialite in the company of her peers and four people who were way beneath her station that she had to be polite to anyway.

After having endured almost an hour of his grandmother's "deep" conversation so far that morning, Shunusuke made a disgusted noise and got up to leave. His father stopped him. "Where are you going, Shunusuke?"

Shunusuke gave his father a withering look over his shoulder and kept walking. "Back to the condo to watch TV. I crave intelligent communication, so maybe I'll watch a soap opera. I'd invite you along, grandmother, but it sounds like you live that life, and would be horribly bored."

Hisui's eyes burned holes into his back as he slunk down the beach, but Shunusuke forced himself to keep walking. He also kept thoughts of watching TV or taking a nap firmly in his mind, so Hisui wouldn't detect his real reason for leaving the breakfast party: Returning to Tokyo and Kagome's family shrine to make sure that wasn't where Tsurai and Shinai had gone. He wasn't as good at hearing thoughts as his grandmother, but Kagome and Inu Yasha had been very strongly worried about something involving Kagome's home. No doubt, Hisui had picked it up, too, and, knowing what was up, had ordered the twins to investigate. Shunusuke didn't know the details but was sure he'd find out if he went to the Higurashi shrine. Meanwhile, he turned over TV schedules in his mind, as if deciding what to watch when he got to the condo, then tried to remember what videos and DVDs were there if there was nothing good on TV at that hour. He kept those thoughts in his head as he collected the keys to his truck, then turned on the television, blanked his mind, got into the truck, started it and drove off in the direction of Tokyo. Hidden in the utility box in the truck bed were his weapons: Two katana, a dozen shuriken and a naginata in two pieces that screwed together at the middle. There was also a revolver in a hidden compartment under the passenger seat. The gun had been a gift from his father when he graduated from high school…it was also very illegal. He just hoped he wouldn't have to use any of his arsenal.

Back at the breakfast table, Hisui smiled a secretive smile. "Not bad, boy," she thought slyly, "you almost fooled me." She decided to let Shinai deal with her grandson when he arrived at the shrine and said nothing about Shunusuke's activities to her companions.

* * *

Sota sat by the fire in Kaede's house. Beside him was the old priestess Kaede on his left with the Tetsusaiga in its black sheath across her knees and Myouga the flea on her shoulder. The priest Miroku sat on Sota's right. Across the fire was Sango the demon hunter. All but Kaede were itching to get to the future and save Kagome from the evil Hisui Oukami and her lackeys.

"Inu Yasha will need his sword to fight the demons," Sota insisted.

Kaede was reluctant to surrender the weapon without a direct request from Inu Yasha. There was also the matter of Sesshomaru. "If Sesshomaru is there, boy, he'll try to take the blade from Inu Yasha—and with Hisui Oukami's help, he might succeed this time and kill Inu Yasha, as well. Anyway, Inu Yasha didn't say to send it to him."

"He didn't know Sesshomaru was gonna show up!" Sota protested. "I'll bet he wants it with him and didn't have time to tell Kagome to tell me 'cause he was making sure the bad guys didn't hear Kagome's plans!"

"But you said they did hear," Miroku pointed out. "You told me you were chased by two kitsune whom you suspected work for Hisui Oukami."

Sango frowned. "I find it hard to believe kitsune would allow themselves to be employed by anyone, particularly as bodyguards or ninja. They're not the most violent of demons. However, many things can change in four hundred years."

Sota could only shrug. He wasn't one hundred percent sure the kitsune worked for the people who were after the shard, all he knew is they'd tried to stop him from getting to the well. "They might not be working for her. They didn't say anything when they were chasing me, so maybe they just felt the jewel and were going after it on their own."

Myouga didn't buy that. "That would be too great a coincidence. It seems more likely that they were sent by Hisui Oukami, or possibly this son of hers that you mentioned."

Nods of agreement all around. Sota said: "I still think Inu Yasha will want his sword."

"I agree," Miroku said, and Sango nodded: "So do I. We should take it with us to Kagome's time."

Kaede sighed. "I'm against this," she told them in a weary voice. "Kagome sent the jewel shard to me for safe keeping, just as Inu Yasha left the Tetsusaiga with me for the same reason. The shard, at least, should remain here, out of Hisui Oukami's reach."

"But it's not out of her reach!" Sota protested. "Kagome said Hisui Oukami was looking for the jewel in this time and even looked for it in Kikyo's village but she didn't find it. If it's here, she'll find it, right? So we have to take it back with us!" He pointed at Miroku, then Sango. "They can protect me if those guys are still out there when I get back."

"Excellent reasoning, Sota!" Miroku agreed with a polite nod. Anyway, the boy still wore the jewel about his neck, so no matter what Kaede thought should be done, surely she wouldn't take the jewel from Kagome's little brother by force. If Sota decided it was best to take the shard back to the future, then that's where it would go, and he and Sango would protect it and him. He imagined the look on Inu Yasha's face when he saw him and Sango appear to save his ass. Even better would be the priceless look Inu Yasha would give him when he handed him the Tetsusaiga.

"Give me the Tetsusaiga, Kaede," Sango said, holding out her hand. "I'll place it in Inu Yasha's hands myself."

It took another half hour of pleading and arguing, but Kaede was finally convinced to surrender the Tetsusaiga and give her blessing to the little rescue party's journey to the future. As they gathered around the well in the forest, Kaede and Myouga wished them luck.

"Staying as far from the danger as possible, flea?" Sango accused with a stern look for Myouga.

The tiny demon hung his head and wrung his hands. "Well, we can't all go, can we?"

"But Inu Yasha may need your sage advice," Miroku told him.

Myouga suspected he was being mocked, but at last, he hopped onto Sota's shoulder and declared in a quavering voice that the priest was quite right, so he would accompany them to the future to make sure Inu Yasha didn't do anything stupid while fighting one of the most ruthless demon lords in all of Japan (and possibly China, as well).

They sat on the lip of the well, and Sota held out his hands. "I think we all have to be touching."

Sango took the boy's hand, and Miroku grabbed Sango's arm. That earned him a snarl from the demon hunter. "He means, touch _him_, you lecher!"

"Ah." Miroku got up, went to sit on Sota's other side and took the boy's hand. "Right. Ready now, Sota?"

Sota nodded. "Let's go!"

They jumped into the well and out into the future to find Tsurai and Shinai were still there but were a little preoccupied. A handsome young man swinging a pair of katana held the kitsune brothers at bay in the courtyard, while Sota's grandfather chanted curses in a vain attempt to banish the demons from the shrine. Tsurai had Sota's mother pinned against him by the throat and was holding a gun to her head. That appeared to be the only thing keeping the man with the swords from pressing his attack.

"Mom!" Sota screamed, spoiling any element of surprise Sango and Miroku might have had. Miroku scooped Sota onto his back with orders not to let go no matter what, then took up a defensive posture with his staff before him and the well shrine wall behind. Sango launched a flight of shuriken at Tsurai, but the kitsune dropped to his knees, and they flew harmlessly over his head. That gave the demon hunter the distraction she needed to pull out a sword and charge. Shinai jumped between her and his brother and pointed his pistol at her chest. Not recognizing the weapon, Sango kept coming. Fortunately for her, Shunusuke knew exactly what that weapon was. He threw one of his katana with a shout to Sango to dive. She dove, and the katana hit the barrel of the gun, knocking it out of Shinai's hand. Meanwhile, Shunusuke kicked Tsurai in the face and slashed down with his other sword, meaning to cut off the kitsune's hand, but Tsurai was fast enough to get his hand out of the way, leaving Sota's mother in the sword's path. She screamed and dodged, but Shunusuke had checked his stroke and pursued Tsurai, who was on his ass but had his gun up and pointed at his boss' son. However, he knew it would be his life for Shunusuke's, so he didn't fire. Instead, with a glance to his brother, he disappeared. A half second later, Shinai was gone, as well, leaving Sango's blade to hiss through air.

Mrs. Higurashi made a tiny, fearful squeak when the brothers disappeared. "Who—what were—"

Sota and Gramps threw themselves on her and wept. "Mom, are you alright?" Sota sobbed. "I was so scared!"

Shunusuke knelt in front of her and asked the same question without the drama. "Mrs. Higurashi? Were you hurt?"

She shook her head and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Who were those creatures? And what did they want with me?"

Shunsuke planted his hands in front of his knees and bowed his face to the dirt. "I'm sorry your family became involved in this matter. My name is Shunusuke Asano, Kei and Yuki's older brother, and to my shame the son of the man who sent one of those kitsune after the Shikon Jewel, which my father seems to believe is in this shrine somewhere. My father sent the kitsune in the white shirt, his mother, Hisui Oukami, my grandmother, sent the one in the Hawaiian shirt. She, too, is after the jewel."

Everybody was astonished by all of that, especially that bit about the Great Demon of the Northern Lands being grandmother to one of Sota's own playmates, Kei Asano. "Th-that means," Sota sputtered, "Kei is…part demon? A-And so's Yuki? And you?"

Shunusuke sat up and nodded. "I'm afraid so." He glanced at the well shrine and asked: "Is that the portal to the past? The way Kagome and Inu Yasha get back and forth?" When all he got were suspicious looks and no answer, Shunusuke sighed. "I can understand why you don't trust me. That's alright, I don't need to know." He looked at Miroku, then Sango, where his gaze lingered. "Who are you?"

Miroku put himself into Shunusuke's line of sight, forcing him to look at him instead of the demon hunter. He bowed. "My name is Miroku," he gestured to Sango, "and this is Sango, the demon hunter." From Sota's shoulder, Myouga cleared his throat, and Miroku added with a smile: "That's Myouga the flea, Inu Yasha's retainer."

Mrs. Higurashi blinked puzzlement. "Inu Yasha's…'retainer'? Is he some kind of nobleman in his time?" And here all along she'd thought he was just some ruffian her poor Kagome was forced to associate with to recover the pieces of the Jewel of Four Souls. A rather jealous, demonic ruffian to be more specific.  
Myouga was delighted to explain. "Lord Inu Yasha is the second son of the Great Demon of the Western Lands and a human woman of noble birth, the Princess Shinju."

"He's a prince…" Mrs. Higurashi mused wonderingly. "I always thought princes were cleaner, somehow."

Miroku and Sango chuckled, but Myouga looked even more embarrassed. "Well, M'Lord has had a difficult life, what with his parents dying when he was so young, and his brother banishing him," he wrung his hands, "not to mention the jewel."

"Speaking of which," Shunusuke interjected, "I hope for your sake that it isn't in this house. I know my father, and he won't give up until he's found it, no matter what it takes." He sent out his mental feelers, but found no sign of any of his father's people. Yet. "Is it here?"

No one spoke.

Shunusuke sighed. "Look: I'm totally against what my father is doing. I just saved your life, and yesterday my sister saved Kagome's at great risk to her own. In fact, Yuki almost died using her power to protect Kagome from magical attacks and bullets. I'm not asking you to give me the jewel—I don't want it—I just want to know if it's here, so I can give you good advice about what to do next!"

"Magical attacks and bullets?!" All three Higurashi's gasped at once, then Mrs. Higurashi asked meekly: "Yuki has powers that can do that?"

Shunusuke nodded, then he smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. When I left the hotel, Kagome and Yuki were having a nice breakfast on the veranda with Inu Yasha and Shippo and that friend of Kagome's, Rei." He ducked his head and added: "My family's there, too: Hisui and my Dad and Hisui's latest boy toy Sesshomaru."

"Inu Yasha's eating breakfast with Sesshomaru?!" Sango exclaimed, at the same time as Miroku asked: "What's a 'boy toy'?"

Shunusuke got up and went to collect the sword he'd thrown at Shinai. The kitsune had somehow managed to reclaim his gun before disappearing, which didn't really surprise Shunusuke. The brothers were too experienced to leave behind any physical evidence of their presence. "A boy toy is a trophy boyfriend, someone who looks good hanging around with a rich and powerful woman like Hisui."

"That's so…shallow…" Sango said with a frown.

"Quite," Miroku agreed.

Myouga said thoughtfully: "I can't imagine Lord Sesshomaru would allow himself to be treated in that way by a female. Even a female as powerful as Hisui Oukami."

Shunusuke shrugged. "Actually, I think they genuinely feel something for each other. I know I wouldn't put up with her unless I was in love with her, 'cause I know it's not her money that interests him. He's certainly got enough of his own from what I've heard." Then he abruptly shifted gears. Grinning at Miroku and Sango, he asked: "So. Do you people need a ride to the beach?"

"Beach?" Sango queried. "Is that where Kagome is?"

Sota nodded. "Right. Shunusuke knows how to get there." He took the jewel from around his neck and pressed it into Sango's hand. "Take this to Kagome. Inu Yasha can protect it a lot better than we can," he touched the Tetsusaiga's hilt and added: "As long as he has his sword."

Sango smiled at him and hid the jewel in her shirt. "Don't worry," she reassured him and looked around to take in his mother and grandfather, too, "we're here now. We won't let anything happen to Kagome or the jewel. Right, boys?"

Miroku and Myouga nodded: "Right!"

Sango turned a severe look on Shunusuke. "And if you try anything, Asano, you're dead where you stand. Understood?"

Shunusuke looked her over, noting her armor and especially the giant boomerang strapped to her back. That would definitely have to go in the back of the truck. What was that thing, anyway? Some bizarre demon-slaying weapon? He had to admit, though: She sure was cute when she was threatening a man. He grinned his most winning grin at her. "Yes, ma'am. I understand completely."


	14. Chapter 14

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Fourteen

Sango wasn't to sanguine about the idea of being sealed into a metal monstrosity with Shunusuke, particularly since it would involve being squoosed against Miroku, who didn't mind the truck concept quite as much as she did. Both he and Myouga were willing to accept the Higurashi's assurances that this was a perfectly normal, common and safe mode of transportation and the fastest way to get from the Shrine to the resort where Kagome was. Sango also wasn't too keen on having her boomerang out of arm's reach, strapped down to the bed of the truck with Miroku's staff. However, once Shunusuke and Mrs. Higurashi made it clear to her just how far away the beach was and how fast the truck could get them there, Sango swallowed her paranoia and got in the damn truck. She wanted to sit by the door, in case Shunusuke showed his true, untrustworthy colors or tried to grope her (which she suspected he might do, based upon the looks he'd been giving her), and she had to bail. Shunusuke insisted she sit in the middle, though, since she was the smallest and a girl—and the girl _always_ sits in the middle in the cab of the pick-up truck when the other two passengers are guys (it's an unwritten law). Once she'd established on no uncertain terms that any groping from them would result in immediate castration, Sango settled in between Shunusuke and Miroku and tried to be very brave about all the noise the strange machine made and the unnatural speed at which it traveled. She did this by making Shunusuke tell her everything he knew about what made the truck go. He was delighted to find a girl with an interest in geeky automotive stuff and prattled on for the entire trip about combustion engines, Henry Ford, assembly lines, petrol and customization packages. From this schpeel, Sango learned one, very important thing (which any 20th century girl knows by the time she reaches puberty): A vehicle is an extension of a man's penis, and he views his vehicle as a gage of just how much of a man he really is. Judging by the way Shunusuke talked about his truck, both he and the vehicle were more man than any other male on Earth could ever hope to be. Also, he managed to convince a feudal era Buddhist priest that he had to have a hopped-up, four wheel drive truck or a zippy sportscar (in red or black) to be a real man. After kicking demon ass, Sango suspected Miroku would demand to be taken to a "dealership" to select his own, personal, metal penis extension on wheels.

Like that man's libido needed help.

"But most guys our age in Japan don't have their own cars," Shunusuke was saying to Miroku. "They take public transportation or have a bicycle or a motorcycle. My dad ships this overseas and back for me, so I'll have it at school and at home. That's why the steering wheel's on the wrong side: I bought it at school, and they drive on a different side of the rode over there."

"Overseas?" Miroku asked, then tried to show off his education by adding: "Do you mean Europe?"

Myouga sniffed importantly. "Well, of course he means Europe! Where else could he mean?"

Shunusuke smiled and shook his head. "It's a big world, Myouga. The country I go to school in doesn't even exist in your time. The continent's there, and people live on it, but it's different. Now it's run by the descendants of European settlers for the most part and is one of the most powerful countries in the world. It's called the United States of America, or just America or the U.S.." He looked at Sango out of the corner of his eye to see if she was impressed. She looked curious but not impressed, so he added casually: "I've traveled all over the world, actually: Europe, Canada, China, Africa, Australia, America, Brazil, Mexico—all over the place. My Dad takes me around to his company's sites. He's the head of one of the most successful microchip manufacturing companies in the world."

"What's a microchip?" Sango asked, trying very hard not to sound in the least bit impressed by Shunusuke's world travels, education or his family's money and influence. That's what he wanted, and she'd be damned if she'd give it to him.

Shunusuke explained computers and their component parts and how important they were to everybody from individuals and schools to businesses and governments. As he spoke, he parked the truck outside the condo and reached out with his mind to determine if anyone was waiting for them there and if so, who. Oddly, no one was there. Probably still at the hotel, he reasoned, which didn't mean Dad couldn't have any of his flunkies there in a matter of seconds. He finished his little speech, which none of his passengers understood, then switched off the truck and got out. Sango ignored Miroku's outreached hand and helped herself out of the cab with a growl to let him know he'd insulted her by the mere suggestion that she might need his help for such a simple task. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she went around to the back of the truck to reclaim her boomerang and Miroku's staff, which she tossed at him without looking to make sure he caught it with his hands not his face.

"What's _her_ problem?" Miroku wondered in disgust as he caught his staff and collected his dignity, then watched her follow Shunusuke into the condo. (Ok, he watched her hips wiggle as she followed Shunusuke into the condo. Details, details.)

Their reaction to the modern devices and foreign-style furnishings was the same as Inu Yasha's and Shippo's had been, but Shunusuke didn't give them time to explore and no long seemed inclined to explain things to them. He poked his head into each room, then stepped out onto the porch to check the surrounds, the three time travelers right behind him. Seeing no sign of his relations, he left the porch, then the condo, heading for the beach with his suspicious guests in tow.

"I don't like this," he muttered as they galloped down the wooden stairs and started off through the trees to the beach. "I know I didn't fool Hisui. What is she up to?"

"You expected her to be here at your house?" Myouga asked in a trembling voice. How could this boy not be shaking in his sandals at the very thought of a violent encounter with Hisui Oukami? True, he was her grandson, but Hisui was particularly famous for murdering her closest relations.

Sango touched the place where the jewel shard rested between her breasts. Was it really the Great Demon of the Northern Lands they would face? The ruthless, bloodthirsty Hisui Oukami? And not only her, but Sesshomaru, as well. Had he changed very much in four hundred years, maybe become more powerful and careless of human life? The Tetsusaiga bounced against her thigh as she walked, and she wondered if Sesshomaru would challenge her for it before she could give it to Inu Yasha. And what should she do about the jewel shard? Should she just hand it over to Kagome, or keep it hidden and pretend she didn't have it?

"Stop thinking about it," Shunusuke grunted, with a hard look over his shoulder so she'd know he was talking to her. "Hisui can hear your thoughts even better than I can. Just forget you have it, or she'll know and take it from you."

"She can read minds, too?!" Myouga cried at the same time as Sango drawled: "Like she took her son's shards from Inu Yasha?" Shunusuke could hear her thoughts?! She knew of very few demons who could do that, and Hisui Oukami was one of them. That ability, if nothing else, proved to her that Shunusuke was in fact related to that mighty demon lord. She hoped the rest of what he'd told them was true, as well, especially that part about being on their side. If he had any other of Hisui's abilities, or even a small part of her power, they were in trouble if he chose to oppose them. She hoped his sister, who had the power to protect Kagome from magic and bullets (whatever kind of weapon those were), was also on their side and not an ally of Hisui's. And what of Shunusuke's father? What manner of demon was he? He couldn't be all that strong, if Inu Yasha could take a couple of jewel shards from him, then just sit down to breakfast with the man. She had to smile at that: Inu Yasha forced to be polite and sit at table with his enemies. He must be squirming in his skin.

Shunusuke made to reply, then realized Miroku wasn't following them any more. A quick look around found the priest frozen in place with his jaw hanging open. Sango followed his gaze and was at once disgusted with him and shocked at the indecency of the girls who were the objects of his enraptured attention. Didn't people wear clothes in Kagome's time? The girls' garments (if they could be dignified with such a name) were just big enough to barely cover what was important, and some didn't even cover those things adequately.

"It's…Paradise…" the priest sighed as his companions came along side him.

Shunusuke grinned. "It certainly is."

Sango thought she was going to be sick. Then she saw that the young men on the beach wore almost as little as the girls did, and many of those men were…Sango quickly turned her mind from such thoughts. They had important business here and it didn't involved admiring the scenery! Nice though it was. She grabbed Miroku by the sleeve and shook him with an impatient growl. "We really have better things to do than—" Then she saw a few people she recognized, and now it was her jaw's turn to hang open. "KAGOME?!" Her friend heard her and broke into a great, big smile. That was about all Kagome was wearing, unless one counted the little bits of fabric that were making a valiant attempt to provide her with some modesty. And was that Inu Yasha with her in nothing but cut off pants? (She hadn't expected him to be so…skinny.)

Myouga jumped from her shoulder to hitch a ride on Miroku's as the priest ran for Kagome with a delighted cry. Shunusuke trotted behind him, though his face wore a worried expression. With a deep, lamenting sigh, Sango gave up and followed. Inu Yasha playing at the seashore, Kagome practically naked in public and not seeming to mind in the least—and was that Shippo disguised as a human (with his fluffy tail hanging out of the top of his short pants)? Who were those other girls with him?

One of the girls ran to Shunusuke and wrapped him a big hug, then stepped back with a giggle to look Miroku up and down. She was drop dead gorgeous and wearing even less than Kagome: Her butt was fully exposed with only a string in her crack to keep the front part of the so-called outfit over her privates. It looked like it was made of gold silk. "Probably couldn't afford any more than that," Sango thought with a disparaging snort.

"Are you Miroku?" Yuki asked coyly and ran a finger down the priest's chest. She reached around his neck to give his ponytail a little flip. "Kagome's told me all about you!"

Not used to a woman doing anything but calling him a pervert and slapping him, Miroku was at a complete loss for words. Yuki, however, was not. She grabbed both his hands with a gleeful squeal and started jumping up and down excitedly, hypnotizing Miroku with her big, bouncing chest.

"Ask me!" She begged. "Please-oh-please-oh-please?! C'mon, ask! Ask!"

"Eh?" Miroku blinked at her breasts stupidly. He was the only one who didn't realize he was bouncing along with her.

"What you always ask!" She giggled. "Please, Miroku? I have the perfect come-back, so you have to ask me! Puh-LEEZE?!"

Suddenly, Miroku stopped hopping and grinning as the realization sank in that she was probably mocking him. Oh great. Kagome had told this vision of loveliness all about Miroku the lecherous priest, who asked every pretty girl he met to bear his child. No doubt, Kagome had neglected to explain his reasons for being so gung ho to reproduce in favor of the humor she found in his predicament. How _could_ she?! Sweet, kind Kagome was making fun of him. Miroku's face fell and he tried to free his hands without success. "It isn't funny," he grumbled. "Didn't Kagome tell you why I need an heir?"

Yuki stopped bouncing. "Of course she did," then her face lit up once more and she clasped his hands to her chest and looked deeply into his eyes. "But I still want you to ask me!"

"So you can poke fun at me, too, Miss-?"

She batted her eyelashes at him and pulled him even closer to her scantily-clad, impossibly well-endowed body (in Miroku's opinion). "I'm Shunusuke's sister Yuki. Please ask me, Miroku," she pouted, biting her lower lip in a most irresistible fashion.

He caved. "Very well. *sigh* Will you bear my child?"

Yuki grinned mischievously. "No, but we can have fun practicing!"

"Eh?"

"I think you're really cute!" She gushed and waggled her eyebrows at him suggestively.

Was he dreaming? Did this beautiful, mostly-naked woman just declare him cute and suggest they have sex for its own sake? This really was Paradise. Or a dream. He liked the Paradise idea much better since it was less likely to end up in him awakening to find none of it had really happened.

Kagome huffed. "I knew it. He finally finds a girl who actually wants him, and he has no idea what to do about it."

Inu Yasha hooked his arm around her neck with a stiff smile and pulled her in the direction of the water. Shippo and Rei giggled and followed them, hand-in-hand. Sango watched them splash into the waves in a state of utter shock. This was beyond surreal. Poor little Sota had risked his life to bring help to his sister, so they'd all rushed like mad to get here and rescue Kagome from the evil Hisui Oukami and Sesshomaru—and nobody seemed to be in the least bit of danger. In fact, they were happy and having fun. Even Inu Yasha was enjoying himself (gods, was he actually laughing?), frolicking in the surf like a puppy. Where were the bad guys they were supposed to be so terrified of? Why wasn't Sesshomaru bugging Inu Yasha to hand over the Tetsusaiga or die? Where were those two kitsune they'd fought at the Higurashi Shrine? Just what in the bloody hell was going on here?!

And why was Shunusuke holding her hand?! How dare he be so forward! Sango snatched her hand out of his with a meaningful little growl. "I don't know how men are supposed to behave in your time, but in my time we have a thing called decency! You just don't grab a girl's hand in public anytime you feel like it!"  
Shunusuke gave her a smile that made her knees suddenly feel like jelly, then he looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry. I was just going to suggest we go sit over there and talk."

He pointed to his right at a large, striped towel laid out on top of the sand. There was a bright pink bag and a number of small bottles containing a brownish liquid set in the sand by the towel. It looked like someone else had already staked out that territory.

"I think someone's already there," Sango told him in an aloof tone and went to collect Miroku's clothing and staff.

As she folded the priest's robes, Shunusuke went and sat down on the towel. "It's alright. It's just Yuki. She won't mind. Come on over and sit with me and I'll tell what's happened up to this point."

That got her attention. Well, she wasn't going to sit with him all by herself, that was for sure. This guy was cut from the same mold as Miroku. She set the priest's cloths and staff down next to the obnoxiously colored bag, then called out to her friends in the water to join her and Shunusuke. Kagome and Inu Yasha would make sure Shunusuke didn't lie to her. As she sat down next to him, Sango gave Shunusuke a smug look, but his reaction wasn't at all what she'd expected.

"Thanks. That saves me having to call them myself." He smiled his dazzling smile at her again as one by one their companions plunked themselves down onto the towel.

"Such lovely eyes," Sango thought, then hastily rid her mind of such sentiments. The man was as much a womanizer as that blasted priest! He probably ogled Kagome like that, as well as every other pretty girl that came within range. She bet he made passes at them, too, the lecher. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was handsome…and looked quite strong, too. Big muscles on those arms and legs. She was startled out of her thoughts by a sprinkling of cold water as Miroku reached over her to grab his robe and toss it over his head.

"What're you blushing about?" Inu Yasha grumbled at her as he sat down on Shunusuke's other side. Without warning, he reached over and plucked the Tetsusaiga out of her belt and laid it across his knees. "Thanks for bringing this."

Sango nodded dumbly and tried to will her cheeks back to their normal color, leaving Inu Yasha's first question unanswered. Miroku's loincloth had been…slipping, showing her more of the priest than she cared to see. She'd never look at him the same again after that. What was the matter with her? She was acting like a child! With that thought firmly in her mind, Sango growled at Shunusuke: "Well, what's going on? Why is everybody acting so silly?"

Everybody but Shunusuke and the new arrivals turned a shade paler and glared at the condo. Shunusuke followed their gaze, then told them with a chuckle: "There's nobody there. In fact, I don't sense any of them anywhere near here. If Hisui and my father, or any of them, are around, they're at the hotel and can't hear us talk."

Inu Yasha's face turned bright red with rage. With a furious growl, he drove his fist into the sand and cursed Hisui to all kinds of hells. "I'll fucking kill that bitch!" He started to get up, but Kagome threw herself at him and pinned him down.

"No, don't! Remember what she said!" Kagome pleaded, and Inu Yasha calmed right down.

Shunusuke narrowed his eyes at her. "What did she say, Kagome?"

Myouga wrung his hands. "She probably threatened to kill us all!"

Tears welled up in Kagome's eyes as she replied: "Hisui said she knows where I live, and she'll kill my family if we didn't act like everything's normal. She said she has my brother…"

"I knew it!" Myouga lamented.

Sango gave the flea a stern look. "No! Sota was safe when we left the shrine! We fought off two kitsune who were threatening your mother, but your family's safe now!"

Shunusuke balled his fists in his lap and bowed his head. "They could always have gone back as soon as we left. Damn them!"

"When they realize neither the jewel shard nor the Tetsusaiga is at your family shrine," Miroku mused, "they'll have to come to us to propose a trade." He wished Yuki and Shippo weren't between him and Kagome, so he could offer more comfort to her than just words. Not that she needed him with Inu Yasha sitting right there, holding her hand and—eh? Inu Yasha was holding Kagome's hand? What had happened between them in four days that Inu Yasha was suddenly bold enough to be so affectionate with her in front of strangers? Dog Boy hadn't done _that_, had he?!

"Hisui doesn't strike me as the bargaining type," Inu Yasha seethed. He turned a cruel look on Shunusuke. "Sorry, but it looks like I'll have to kill your grandmother."

Myouga's eyes bugged. He hopped off the towel onto his master's shoulder and cried: "Have you lost your mind, M'Lord?! This is Hisui Oukami we're talking about! She'd squash you like a—like a flea!"

Inu Yasha illustrated his servant's point by squashing him. "Shut up!"

Shunusuke closed his eyes and bowed his head. "You'd also have to kill my father and your brother and everybody who serves them. Think you're strong enough to do that, Inu Yasha?" Suddenly he met Inu Yasha's gaze with sharp eyes and a wicked smirk. "You couldn't fight your way out of a paper sack with a sword and your martial skills are haphazard at best. You're just mean and determined, and I don't think you could beat my family and their guards—even with help from a demon hunter and priest."

Shippo cleared his throat.

"You're a kid, Shippo," Shunusuke told him bluntly. "You're obviously resourceful and brave enough, but your skills are nothing compared to the kitsune working for my family. They're older and better trained than you are. Nothing personal, I'm just stating the facts."

Yuki nodded solemnly. "He's right. Before you go into battle, you need to know who you're facing, how many of them there are and what kind of skills and weapons they have. Even if all of us went against them, we'd get our asses kicked."

"And that," her brother finished, "would just leave my father and his mother to duke it out over the shard—and I can tell you who'll win: Hisui—and Sesshomaru will finally take the Tetsusaiga. We need a better plan."

Myouga wailed: "We're doomed!"

"I said: Shut up!" Inu Yasha flicked the flea off his shoulder and into Miroku's lap. "If we don't kill them, they'll keep coming after the shard," he grumped.  
Very quietly, Kagome replied: "Unless we can keep it until it's whole again, and you use it to become human, like you were going to do with Kikyo." She looked away, over Shippo's shoulder at the happy teenagers playing in the surf. Rei was there, too, watching them from the waves. Shippo had told her to stay behind and not get involved in his problems any more deeply than she was. Kagome had to agree: The less Rei knew, the safer she'd be. "That would use up all of the jewel's power," she continued, just above a whisper," then it wouldn't exist anymore." She cleared her throat and added gamely: "All we have to do is keep them away at least that long, right? And they can't get us in the past."

All eyes turned expectantly on Inu Yasha, who flushed and fiddled with the Tetsusaiga to avoid looking at anybody, especially Kagome. He hadn't decided what he was going to do yet! Why'd she have to bring it up? "I could also use it to become a full demon," he mumbled.

"Or that…I guess."

"Who's Kikyo?" Yuki asked and got two very dirty looks for being nosy. She backed down fast. "Sorry I asked."

Sango sighed. "At any rate, we need a plan to deal with this situation, whether or not you think we have a fighting chance against Hisui and her minions, Inu Yasha."

Shunusuke didn't miss the jab. Other than Inu Yasha, he figured Sango was the only one of Kagome's friends with any serious combat training, and after talking to her on the drive to the beach, he admired her intelligence. He'd rather hoped she'd at least recognize his fighting skill after seeing him action back at the shrine and respect his opinion a little bit, not ignore him. Well, Inu Yasha was known to her, and he was a stranger who was blood related to her enemies. In that light, her distrust was understandable.

Inu Yasha was still a little suspicious of Shunusuke but he was beginning to trust him again, knowing that the man had risked himself to go to Kagome's home and protect her family. He wished he'd been there, too. Defending Kagome and her family was his job, not some stranger's! Anyway, he wanted to see how well Shunusuke's dojo training translated into a real combat situation, if it translated at all. He'd have to grill Miroku about it later.  
"Alright," he sighed in disgust, "what are our options outside of killing them all?" He frowned at Shunusuke and said with a disdainful snort: "Now's when you start talking about that fruity peace and love shit."

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him and growled: "Are you sure you don't mean 'fruity peace and love SIT**'**?"

**SPLAT! **

"$#% !"

**(The last symbol of Inuyasha's censored curse was an "at" sign but apparently this site doesn't support those. -GreyAncient)**


	15. Chapter 15

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Fifteen

**Out foxing Hisui Oukami and Mikoto Asano: Day One****  
****Or: Problem? What Problem?**

Inu Yasha was going along with the Asano kids' (wimpshit) plan to deal with their scary relatives only because Kagome threatened to sit him so hard his kids would be born with their faces mushed into the delivery table if he didn't. He still favored the tried-and-true Kill The Bastards method for its cathartic side effects and the way it kept his enemies out of his face for all eternity. Shunusuke's planning schpeel had included lots of peace and love nonsense, which was backed up by Miroku the Buddhist Priest, who declared that all life was sacred (unless it was demonic and trying to kill him, in which case it was Air Rip fodder). The idea of killing Sesshomaru had met with a somewhat more favorable response from Kagome and her feudal friends, but only if the demon lord tried to kill them first.

"And here I just thought he was an insufferably conceited boor," Shunusuke mused with a wry smirk. He opened the lid on the cooler he'd fetched from the condo and offered a can to Sango: "Ice Tea?"

Since that was one of the standard contents of Kagome's voluminous pack, Sango accepted the can and popped the top with practiced ease. "Sesshomaru's a real creep," she told Shunusuke pointedly. "He wants the Tetsusaiga even though he can't hold it without getting the skin burned off his palm."

Kagome nodded as she accepted a tea from Shunusuke and took a sip. "It wasn't even designed for him! Inu Yasha's dad made it to protect Inu Yasha's human mother and then he put it in his tomb when he died and hid the tomb in Inu Yasha's eye. If he'd wanted Sesshomaru to have it, he'd have given to him, not hidden it in Inu Yasha's eye. I think Sesshomaru just wants it because he can't stand the idea of his half-breed little brother having anything of their father's.

Myouga snorted from Inu Yasha's knee: "That sounds like something Lord Sesshomaru would think! He was perfectly content to stay out of Lord Inu Yasha's life until he realized where their noble father's tomb was hidden." The little flea demon sighed and shook his head. "Now he's obsessed with taking the Tetsusaiga from its rightful owner!"

Inu Yasha caressed the Tetsusaiga's hilt and remembered his brother's words when he'd arrived with Hisui. While Sesshomaru had been curious about the sword's whereabouts, he hadn't seemed terribly keen on claiming it. It was as if it had become a moot point. "I don't think he wants it anymore," he spoke up after a moment.

Everybody looked at him in surprise. "Why do you think that?" Kagome asked.

Shunusuke tossed him a can of Coke, and Inu Yasha took the time to open it and take a few sips before replying. "He called me childish for hating him because of the Tetsusaiga after all these years. I don't think he'd figured out that I'm here from the past and it hasn't been four hundred years, or whatever, for me, like it has for him." He thought about it for a while more while his companions mulled over his words, drank cooling beverages and munched on crunchy-salty snacks Kagome called "pretzels". It was nice sitting in the sun by the sea. Too bad all those people were around, he thought, otherwise this would be a great place to be alone with Kagome. He closed his eyes and imagined himself sitting with Kagome on a blanket in the sand under the moonlight. He hastily chased that thought from his head before he got a dopey grin on his face, and the others wanted to know what he was so happy about.

"I think Sesshomaru got where he is without the Tetsusaiga," Inu Yasha said as he watched seagulls wheel overhead, "so he doesn't need it anymore." He shrugged and let his gaze fall on Kagome, then Shunusuke. "I guess we'll know when he sees I have the sword with me now."

Meanwhile, Inu Yasha had to grit his teeth and go along with Shunusuke's stupid little plan to pretend nothing was wrong, just as Hisui had told everybody to do or she'd hurt Kagome's family. Kagome wanted to call home to make sure her family was safe, but realized that might make Hisui hurt them. Maybe Inu Yasha's idea of killing the bad guys wasn't so bad…

The gang hung out on the beach for most of the afternoon, firming up their plans, playing in the surf and getting great suntans (except for Sango, who refused to have anything to do with the bathing suit idea). They hoped this would give any of Hisui's or Mikoto's spies the idea that they were following orders and acting like all was well. Also, it gave Shunusuke the opportunity to work his wiles upon Sango, much to Miroku's ire. Every joke of Shunusuke's that got so much as a smile out of the demon hunter earned Asano a nasty glare from the priest. Not that Sango showed any romantic interest in Miroku, but, dammit, he saw her first! The guy was built like a bloody ox, though, Miroku thought unhappily, unconsciously comparing the size of Shunusuk's arms to his own and not being very happy about the results.

"Hmph! Asshole!" Miroku rolled over to let his back get some sun and wondered how badly Sango would beat him up if he asked her to rub that sunblock stuff into his skin. Well, that might be a bit too forward, especially compared to how charming Asano was being. He opened one eye a crack to see what the happy couple were doing now and thought he might have to wretch. They were checking out her arsenal and talking about the joys of Bushido. Figured Mr. Wonderful was some kind of samurai. Miroku made a quiet, disgusted noise and turned his head so he could watch bikini babes instead.

"Oy, Miroku!" Shippo chirped from the nether region of the towel. "Kagome says you'll get a sunburn if you don't put some of this on your back!"

The priest sighed miserably. "I can't reach my back, Shippo."

Pause. "You don't think I'm gonna put this stuff on you?!"

"Guess that leaves Sango and her new boyfriend," Miroku grouched back, "but they're a little busy right now."

Everybody on the towel shut up for a few seconds, then Shunusuke said: "I'm sorry. I had no idea you two were an item."

"We are not an item!" Sango shot back with a blush coloring her cheeks.

Miroku quipped cheerfully: "There, you see, Shunusuke, there's nothing to stand in your way. Better be careful, though: She hits hard."

"YOU JERK!"

Pummel.

Shunusuke gulped as Miroku's eyes rolled up into his head and the priest collapsed onto the towel with an assortment of lumps on his skull and a black eye. "Really hard…"

"Cut it out, you guys," Shippo cried and pointed in the direction of the hotel at an all-to-familiar white-haired couple who were headed straight for them. "it's Hisui and Sesshomaru!"

Miroku emerged from his battered haze at Sesshomaru's name and sat up to see for himself, hands wrapped about his throbbing skull. Lo! It was indeed The Enemy. The two demon lords walked hand in hand along the beach with happy smiles on their faces, ignoring the stares of the other beach goers. Inu Yasha and the others paused in mid splash out in the surf to gape at them in disbelief. Hisui wore a tasteful black one-piece bathing suit that zipped up the front, and Sesshomaru wore a tiny black Speedo™. The sight of him in a tight bit of next-to-nothing made Sango, Kagome and Rei blush up to their ears. That was nothing compared to what happened next: Sesshomaru paused, pulled Hisui around by the hand, hugged her against him and kissed her passionately. As his enemies watched, his hands slid down her back to her butt, to push her more tightly against him. This didn't seem to offend Hisui in the least. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and one of her knees bent to allow her leg to rub against his. When they were done with their little show, they looked into each other's eyes with steamy expressions, then giggled and ran up to Shunusuke.

"Um," Hisui began shyly, "can we use the condo for a few hours, Shunusuke?" She giggled and snuggled against Sesshomaru's arm.

He put his arm around her and bent to nip her ear with his fangs. "And be left alone?"

Shunusuke sputtered and nodded. "Be my guest."

The lustful couple linked hands and ran for the condo, still giggling. Inu Yasha, Kagome and Yuki emerged from the sea and stood by the towel to watch them go. Myouga hopped from his napping spot in the middle of the towel to Sango's shoulder to get a better view.

"That was weird," he said.

Everybody nodded their dazed agreement.

After a few seconds, Miroku asked: "Did she say 'hours'?"

"Whoa…" admired Shunusuke.

With a completely innocent expression, Miroku turned to Kagome and quipped: "With any luck, Kagome, it runs in the family!"

She looked puzzled. "What does?"

Yuki and Shunusuke chuckled and grinned wickedly at Inu Yasha, who turned bright red and beat the crap out of Miroku.

* * *

The horizon was turning shades of orange and purple, and still Hisui and Sesshomaru hadn't emerged from the condo. The little group of hungry beach bums had polished off everything in Shunusuke's cooler and were trying to figure out what to do about dinner, since nobody had remembered to bring their wallet with them.

"Don't you have a tab, or something?" Kagome asked the Asano kids, who shook their heads.

"They don't do that here," Shunusuke explained.

"What about your dad?" Kagome persisted. "He wants you to act normal, right? Kids always ask their parents for money."

That was met with a disgusted snort from both Shunusuke and his sister. "There's nothing for it," Shunusuke sighed, "we'll just have to risk walking in on them."

"WE?!" Everybody else exclaimed.

"You can risk it," Inu Yasha told him pointedly. "I ain't going anywhere near that place with them in there, doing _that_!"

"Me neither," Kagome agreed and was seconded by everybody but Miroku and Shunusuke, who had already volunteered to go. Sort of.

Everybody stared hard at Miroku until he gave in. "Alright already! I won't go, either!" He cringed. "Just don't hit me again. I'm all out of uninjured flesh."  
Sango humped and tossed her head. "Well if you weren't such a pervert, you wouldn't get hit!"

"If you weren't such a bitch, I wouldn't get hit," Miroku muttered under his breath and got hit by Sango, Kagome and Yuki.

He regained consciousness, fully dressed and sitting in a high-backed leather chair in a pleasant, well-appointed room full of chatting people. His companions were dressed, too. They must have returned to Shunusuke's house to get their clothes. He wondered with a little smile what they found when they arrived. Heh. Better not think about that too much, or he might wind up with a few more lumps.

He looked around, trying to guess where he might be: There was a round table in front of him. To his left, Kagome, Inu Yasha and Shippo shared a long, curved leather chair. Yuki was in a chair on his right, then Sango and Shunusuke. On the table were plates, chopsticks and a teapot. Everyone had a cup of tea either in their hand or in front of them. There was even a full cup placed in front of him on the table. He looked around the room: Lots of potted plants and watercolor paintings that looked Chinese. The floor was paneled in large squares of alternating light and dark colored wood. Strange devices with short paddles on them slowly turned overhead. They stirred up a pleasant breeze, so Miroku deduced they were fans, though he couldn't guess what was keeping them turning at such an even rate. The walls were covered with paper printed with a pattern of bamboo leaves that were only the barest shade paler than the sandy-colored paper. There were lots of other tables in the room, but only the ones in the corners had big benches, like the one Kagome, Inu Yasha and Shippo sat on. A long counter made of bamboo stood against the wall directly across from him. A man and a woman prepared drinks behind it, pouring the liquor from bottles and squirting it out of hoses. People sat at the counter, as well as the tables. He supposed the place was tasteful. It certainly looked rich and there was no doubt about its popularity, if the crowd was any indication.

Just as he was about to ask where he was, a cheerful young woman appeared at Yuki's shoulder and took a small pad of paper and what Miroku presumed to be a writing instrument from a pocket in her apron.

"Are you ready to order?" She asked them in a very perky voice, then noticed Miroku was awake and added with a smile for him: "Oh good, you're awake! Would you like time to look over the menu, or do you already know what you'd like to eat?"

"You look delicious," the priest thought but wisely kept it to himself. Poor girl must think he'd just walked off a battlefield with all the bruises he could feel on his body and face. Maybe when he'd recovered. He smiled at her, which hurt a bit. "What is everyone else having?" There, that was probably safe. Who knew if people in Kagome's time at the same things people ate in his time. He'd just get whatever Kagome did and trust her to like good things.

Apparently, the gang had come to a consensus about supper while he was unconscious, because their spokesperson Shunusuke ordered one item: Yose Nabe (vegetable and seafood pot), which sounded great to Miroku. He was just relieved to know food hadn't changed in four hundred years. Miroku ordered a bottle of sake.

While waiting for supper to arrive, they gossiped about Hisui and Sesshomaru, theorizing whether it was true love or just great sex (or both), and if they could use the relationship to their advantage. Their drinks arrived (Miroku being the only one having something with a kick to it), but just as they started to relax, Mikoto popped by the table to ask how they were and what they'd ordered for dinner. Since he didn't seem inclined to hang around, they answered his questions through forced smiles, then Kagome got stupid.

"How's my family?" She asked with cold courtesy, and Mikoto's smile grew suddenly stiff.

"Alive," he replied tersely. "It wasn't my idea to threaten them, I assure you." He looked around the room for a moment, then leaned close to Kagome's ear. "My people are protecting them. Hisui doesn't know."

Kagome didn't buy that for a second, not any part of it. Hisui was almost godlike in her ability to read minds (or so everyone else seemed to think), and there was no way Mikoto was on her side, since Inu Yasha had stolen the shards from him in the first place. "Yeah, right."

Mikoto looked confused. "I still want the shards, Kagome," he explained, "but threatening you or killing your family won't put them in my hands. There are other ways to get what you want than violence and petty threats. I suppose you find that surprising coming from me."

She wasn't the only one. Even his own children were skeptical, but said nothing.

Kagome folded her arms across her chest and frowned. "If you're really on our side," she asked darkly, "then tell us why Hisui wants us to act like everything's normal to keep my family alive? Why didn't she demand the shards instead? That's really what she wants, isn't it?"

Everybody looked at Mikoto expectantly, but he just shrugged. "I'm not sure. She hasn't talked about the Shikon Jewel for centuries, but I can't image she's really lost interest in something that powerful. She wouldn't tell me why she's doing things this way, just commanded me to obey."

"Like she commanded you to threaten my family?" Kagome snorted.

He smiled. "That was never commanded, so maybe she was counting on me to try to protect them. Hisui Oukami works in strange and mysterious ways."

"'Strange and mysterious', my ass!" Inu Yasha barked. "She's deranged!"

Mikoto's jaw tightened and his eyes sparkled dangerously. "That's my mother you're talking about, little boy. Watch your mouth."

Inu Yasha reached around to where the Tetsusaiga was hiding behind his back. After spending an afternoon pretending all was well with his world, he was spoiling for a little soothing violence. Fortunately for the restaurant, he was sitting next to Kagome, who gave him the look she got right before uttering the "S" word, so he settled down with an unhappy growl.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Yuki asked. "What's normal to Hisui?"

"Not normal to Hisui," her father replied, "normal to you. What do you kids usually do when you're here? I seem to recall you throwing some kind of party every summer…" He raised a curious eyebrow at each of his children in turn. "Or am I thinking of the dance the hotel puts on?"

Yuki shook her head. "No, Daddy," she sighed, "Shunusuke and I usually host a party when we're here."

"Who feels like going to a party?" Shippo pouted. The others agreed with him.

Mikoto gave the kitsune a scary grin. "It would make Hisui happy…"

Groans all around the table.

"She wouldn't be there, would she?" Kagome asked, knowing the answer before Mikoto even opened his mouth.

"Of course," he told her cheerfully, "what jet-setter doesn't love a party? It fits her image. So! What kind of party will it be?"

"A funeral?" Shunusuke muttered, and got cuffed in the head by his father. "We have to think about it."

"You should plan it for tomorrow night," Mikoto told him in a no-nonsense voice, making it more an order than a suggestion. Then he nodded to himself and smiled at all of them again. "Yes, I think that would be perfect. I'll speak to the hotel manager tonight. Any preference on a room?"

Since their father was leaving them no choice, Shunusuke and Yuki put their heads together and made a decision, committing themselves to hosting a big party whether they liked it or not. "Someplace where we can have a band, or at least a DJ," Yuki said, "and a bar. Oh, and finger food, too."

"I think tomorrow night is too short notice," Shunusuke added. "Better make it Thursday night."

Mikoto shook his head firmly. "No. Tomorrow."

"What's the big deal, Dad?!" Shunusuke shot back incredulously. "So it's another day. What? Is Hisui planning to kill us on Thursday?"

Mikoto rolled his eyes. "Don't be childish, Shunusuke. Just do as I say."

Grumble-grumble. "Fine."

"Tomorrow it is, then!" Yuki exclaimed, resigned to the inevitable. Anyway, she thought, a party might be just what they all needed. Yeah, like a hole in the head. She watched her father weave around the tables and leave the restaurant, presumably to arrange for a party room with the manager. Why did Hisui want them to act normal so badly? Maybe she just a big control freak who got a thrill from scaring people into indulging her every whim. Hm. In that light, she wasn't quite as fabulous as Yuki had thought she was.

* * *

By the time the gang headed back to the condo for some well-earned (in their opinion) R-and-R, the party plans were finalized, the room reserved, and arrangements made with the hotel to advertise it to its guests with posters and little cards slipped under people's doors. Party theme: Austin Powers Groovy Shindig. The only ones in the group who got it were Shunusuke, Yuki and Kagome. For the others' benefit, they'd dig the movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, on DVD in the Asano condo, which was mercifully free of shagging enemies.

"It's perfect," Yuki explained as Shunusuke loaded up the DVD, and the rest of them settled in with chips, dip and soda, "the second movie just came out in theatres, so everybody'll be in the right mood!"

Inu Yasha growled at her. "If you say so."

"You'll dig it, baby," Yuki replied with a grin, earning herself and even meaner look from the baffled dog demon. "It's shagadelic!"

"Whatever."

As Shunusuke sat on the floor between Inu Yasha and Sango, he said: "The important thing is what they're wearing. You're supposed to dress up like it's the sixties, like the people in the movie."

Kagome sat next to Inu Yasha and gave him an encouraging nudge. "Hope you can read fast. Those subtitles go by pretty quick."

"Huh?"

"The movie's in English," Kagome told him. "But it's translated into Japanese with words at the bottom of the screen."

Oh great. Not only was he being made to watch some weird form of entertainment, it was in a foreign language, too. "I'm going to bed—" He started to get up, but Kagome pulled him down again.

"Oh, come on, Inu Yasha," she pleaded and fetchingly batted her eyes, "it'll be fun. We need fun, right?"

"We need an army," he snorted back, then whined: "I don't feel like reading."

Kagome put her hand on his thigh, making him forget everything else he planned to complain about. "You can read, can't you?" She teased.

He narrowed his eyes and showed her his fangs. "Of course I can read. I just don't feel like it." He leaned back against the couch where Miroku, Yuki, Shippo and Myouga were sitting and pouted. "I've had a rough day."

"And we haven't?!" Shippo, Yuki and Sango exclaimed at the same time. Shippo added a kick to the back of Inu Yasha's head for good measure. "You're such a big baby, Inu Yasha."

Inu Yasha twisted around, grabbed for Shippo's foot and missed. Kagome had to practically sit on him to keep him from chasing the little kitsune around the room. "Inu Yasha! Grow up now!"

The action froze. Inu Yasha flopped back down beside her with a hurt look. Shippo snuggled back against the arm of the couch. The copyright info popped up on the TV screen, so Shunusuke fast forwarded to where the movie actually began. "Let's just watch the movie, ok?" He suggested.

They got through the big dance number, then the set up before Inu Yasha got tired of trying to keep up with the subtitles and just watched what the people were wearing. What weird clothes, he thought. And that hair… Did that woman have a rat on her head, or what? He rather liked all the cute girls dancing around in short dresses, though. That was interesting to watch. The men's clothing was horrible. No way was he wearing anything like that.

After a while, an interesting little revelation insinuated itself into Inu Yasha's brain: The people in the room were arranged in couples, except for Shippo and Myouga (who would kill him if he suggested they were a pair). Kagome sat next to him, Shunusuke sat next to Sango and Yuki sat next to Miroku. Hmmm…  
When the movie ended, Inu Yasha was the first to express an opinion: "That sucked. There is no way I'm wearing stupid clothes like that."

Yuki ruffled his hair, and he gave her a wicked snarl. "You don't have to dress exactly like one of them, you could dress like…" she thought about it, then suddenly brightened. "Like a rock star from that time! You could be, um…um…"

"Jim Morrison!" Shunusuke exclaimed and gave the demon a companionable thump on the back.

Inu Yasha was suspicious. "Who?"

"Not The Who," Shunusuke said with a straight face, "Jim Morrison."

"Eh?"

"Sorry. Bad joke." Shunusuke got up and put away the Austin Powers DVD, then rooted around in the cabinet for a while. "Ah! Here we go. This'll help." He stuck the little disk into the machine, then stepped back to let it do its thing. "An Evening With The Doors," he declared. "That was Jim Morrison's band: The Doors. This is a movie of one of their concerts." He sat down and added: "Morrison's dead, by the way, but he's huge legend. Very cool. Watch."

They did. "Is he drunk?" Was Sango's first question.

"Stoned," Yuki replied.

"Drugs," Kagome explained.

"I like his voice," Inu Yasha said, getting surprised looks from his friends. "What? I like music." He growled, then went back to watching the movie. After a while longer, he declared: "I want to dress like him. He's cool."

Kagome was stunned. What else didn't she know about her favorite grouchy dog demon? Now he liked American classic rock. What was next? The Beatles? The Rolling Stones? Would Inu Yasha want to act like Mick Jagger? She tried to imagine Inu Yasha with big lips, grooving around stage singing Jumpin' Jack Flash and just couldn't do it without giggling.

The object of her amusing fantasy poked her in the arm and demanded to know what was so bloody funny. "Nothing! I was laughing at something else."  
"Do you think he's funny?" Inu Yasha asked cautiously and pointed at the screen. "Will people laugh at me if I dress like him?"

Kagome took another look at Jim Morrison in his leather pants and sweaty shirt unbuttoned down to his belt. Then she put Inu Yasha in those clothes. Hm. She'd already seen him in leather pants (very nice) and she'd seen his chest, too (also nice). No, not funny at all. "I think you'd look cool as Jim Morrison," she admitted shyly.

That decided it: Inu Yasha would be Jim Morrison. With long white hair instead of curly black hair. No biggie. They were now ready to party. Rock 'n' Roll, baby, yeah!


	16. Chapter 16

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Sixteen

"Maybe we should dress Inu Yasha up as a go-go girl instead?"

"He'd kill us!"

Inu Yasha listened to Yuki and Kagome debate his party-going fate on the other side of the bathroom door. As soon as he shook the dew off the lily and got back out there in the living room, those bitches were doomed! Nobody was dressing him up like a girl! No way! That Jim Morrison guy had seemed pretty manly to him. So Jim had shoulder length, dark, curly hair and Inu Yasha had straight white hair past his butt. Big deal. It was all in the wardrobe and the attitude—and Inu Yasha knew he had attitude to spare. Shit. Nobody exuded maleness as much as he did, not even Shunusuke with all his bulky muscles. Shunusuke was a puss down inside, with all that mumbo jumbo about peaceful solutions and non-violence. Hmph! Peace and love. Whatever.

"I think he'd be cute in a mini skirt!" Yuki declared.

To which Kagome growled: "You think he'd look cute in anything, don't you?"

"Don't you?"

Inu Yasha paused in mid-zip to hear Kagome's response to that. And waited some more. Then some more. What was she waiting for?! How tough could that question be to answer about her so-called boyfriend?! "Grrrrr!" Inu Yasha zipped his pants, gave his hands a quick rinse and dry (Yuki was in the habit of asking if he'd washed his hands every time he used the bathroom), then stormed into the living room to see what Kagome's problem was.

She was just finishing up a really good blush and was exclaiming: "NOT IN GIRL CLOTHES, I DON'T!"

Inu Yasha's anger abruptly sputtered out. Good girl, Kagome! "And if you even try to put me in girl clothes, bitch," he snarled at Yuki, who grinned in a most infuriating way, "I'll—I'll—aw, fuck it!" He spun on his heel and stomped to the fridge to get a beer.

"Oy, Inu Yasha!" Shunusuke called from his spot on the couch with the rest of the boys. "Bring me one of those, will ya?"

"Me, too!" Miroku added.

Shippo started to ask for one, too, but the stern look Miroku gave him made him change his order to a Coke. "You're too young for alcohol," the priest scolded. Shippo stuck his tongue out at him.

Inu Yasha sat in a chair by the couch, popped the top on his beer and chugged a few gulps. Then he showed his manliness by letting go a great, big belch, slouching down into the chair and letting his knees spread wide.

"That was really rude, Inu Yasha," Shippo giggled.

"Yeah," Shunusuke agreed, "rude. Good one, though."

The lads chuckled and generally felt pretty darn confident in their manhood. Then they had a small burping contest, which Inu Yasha won, further proving what a lousy go-go girl he'd make.

"What're you guys gonna be for this shindig-thing?" Inu Yasha asked and swigged more beer. He was the only one with a definite costume.

Shunusuke answered first: "One of the Beatles. I'm in the band, so it'll work. I'll get the other guys to be Beatles, too. I think I'll be Paul McCartney."

"What do you suggest for the rest of us?" Miroku asked.

"You don't have to be anybody in particular," Yuki told him. She and the other girls had moved to the kitchen where there was less testosterone. "You can just wear the clothes. I see you in a Nehru suit with little square sunglasses and love beads."

The priest looked suspicious. "And these things would be…?" He cast a quick glance Shunusuke's direction to see what he thought of his sister's idea and to make sure from his expression that Yuki wasn't planning to make him look stupid. Oh good, Shunusuke seemed to approve of the outfit, no mockery in the idea.

Yuki described the clothes as best she could but eventually got tired of watching the proverbial goldfish swim behind his eyes and gave up. "Trust me. You'll be a babe magnet."

Miroku grinned.

"Maybe one of them'll bear your child!" Shippo teased and got smacked on the head for it. The kitsune giggled. "What about me, Yuki?"

She thought about it for a moment, then asked: "How long can you hold that human illusion?"

Shippo's face fell. "Only for a couple of hours, then I'm me again."

"How long till you can put on the disguise again after you turn back?"

Shrug. "Just an hour or so, if I rest." He gave her a suspicious look. "Why? What are you thinking?"

Yuki shook her head. "I wasn't. I guess we can leave you as you and put you in period clothes. The tough one to dress will be Myouga."

The flea paused on Inu Yasha's neck in mid-slurp. Beer-tainted blood was…hic…intoxicating. He squinted at Yuki, tottered a bit on a prayer bead, got a grip and replied: "Don't matter. HIC! I'll jez be me, 'kay?" His eyes rolled up into his head and he passed out face-down between Inu Yasha's neck and the beads, where he made tiny, contented snoring noises.

The others had a good laugh at the flea's expense, but Inu Yasha growled his disgust and plucked his tiny servant off his neck. He considered tossing him onto the table then changed his mind, got some tissues from the bathroom, stuffed them into a rice bowl, lay Myouga on top of them then put the makeshift bed on the night stand in his bedroom. He was still grumbling about how he was way too good to the little blood sucker when he reclaimed his seat and his beer.

"Inu Yasha," Kagome sighed dreamily, "that was so sweet!"

Everybody else said: "Awwwwwww…"

"Shut up."

* * *

They were up for the better part of the night planning the details of the party. Shunusuke called his bandmates, who apparently had been waiting for just that call, since the Asano kids did this sort of thing every summer. They didn't even seem to mind the short notice. Yuki appointed herself Shopping Queen and accepted volunteers (female only, since men, in her opinion, missed the point of shopping entirely) to accompany her on a tour of Tokyo's retro boutiques.

Next morning, the girls piled into Yuki's car, Sango in some of Kagome's clothes, and headed for the big city on shopping safari. The boys went with Shunusuke to check out the party room the senior Asano had booked for them and to meet with the rest of Shunusuke's band. Much to their dismay, Sesshomaru was waiting for them. He leaned with lupine grace against the bar on the other side of the room from the entrance and watched his brother shift into defensive mode. Inu Yasha carried the Tetsusaiga in his hand, not willing to leave it unattended or in anyone's custody but his own. He put his other hand on the hilt as he locked stares with Sesshomaru.

"Relax, little brother," he drawled with that same, familiar bored note in his voice and barely smiled. "I no longer have any interest in possessing the Fang."  
Inu Yasha's eyes narrowed. "Sure you don't."

Miroku and Shunusuke ranged out to either side of him, ready to fight if it came to that. Sesshomaru watched the with mild amusement. He pushed away from the counter and walked toward the newcomers, gesturing with his long, graceful hands as he explained. "In the centuries since you and the sword disappeared, I've carried on with my duties as Great Demon of the Western Lands: Fighting off challengers, hunting, intimidating potential rivals, that sort of thing. All without the aid of the Fang." He stopped within reach of his brother and stuck his hands in his pockets. Inu Yasha kept his hand ready to draw his sword. "I came to what was at first a startling realization, but I later realized was so obvious a child could've figured it out. Father conquered and held his territory without that sword—it was still a tooth in his mouth, with no magical powers. It was only after he took your mortal mother for his mate that he knocked it out and crafted it into the Tetsusaiga. He didn't make the blade to better defend his realm. No, he made it for one purpose: To protect your mother. That's why it won't harm humans…and why a human woman was the only one who could draw it out of its resting place, and only to give it you to use to protect her."

Inu Yasha took his hand off the sword hilt and let the hand holding the scabbard drop to his side. Much as he hated to admit it, Sesshomaru's reasoning rang true. Neither brother had been able to pull the sword from it's pedestal in their father's tomb, only Kagome had been able to do that. Even then, the sword had protected her, shielding her from Sesshomaru's poisoned talons. Inu Yasha had only been able to hold and unlock the Fang's power after Kagome gave it to him and told him to use it to protect her.

But what about when Sesshomaru had used the sword? When he'd attached a human arm to what remained of his left arm after Inu Yasha had cut it off in that first battle over the Tetsusaiga? Sesshomaru hadn't been defending a human, why had the Fang powered up for him and allowed itself to be used against Inu Yasha? Maybe Sesshomaru could use the sword then because Kagome had already unsealed it.

Inu Yasha decided it would be better if he kept those thoughts to himself, rather than give his brother a new reason to think he might be able to possess the Fang after all. "So…you no longer want it?"

Sesshomaru shrugged. "I don't need it," he smirked, "but if you want to give it to me, I won't refuse it."

That sent Inu Yasha's hand flying back to the sword hilt, but Sesshomaru held up his hand to stop him. "I won't try to take it from you is what I was trying to say." He sighed. "It's been a long time, brother. I've grown with the weight of my responsibilities and have developed a long list of priorities that no longer includes—or even needs—the Tetsusaiga."

"Do those priorities include breeding with Hisui Oukami?" Inu Yasha sneered. Shunusuke's stern warning look was ignored.

Sesshomaru chuckled and looked at his sandalled feet instead of his brother. "If you mean having children," he began, then paused to smile and meet Inu Yasha's eyes again, "that remains to be seen. I've only known her for four months, though I've admired her from a distance for centuries."

Inu Yasha shook his head. "Has anyone ever told you you have lousy taste in women?"

Sesshomaru didn't seem to be insulted by that at all. Instead, he just looked embarrassed. "You're not the first to mention it, brother." He sighed. "But I love her in spite of all her quirks and psychoses. I'd like to imagine she loves me in return, that I'm more than just her current play thing, but I have no illusions about Hisui's attention span." He fidgeted a bit, nervously playing with something in his pocket, a sad look on his face. "Brother, I know we hated each other in the past, and I don't have any love for you now, I want to be sure you understand that—"

"Likewise."

"—but I must agree with you: Neither Hisui nor any of her kin should possess so much as one, single fragment of the Shikon Jewel."

Inu Yasha gaped. He shot a glance at Shunusuke, wondering how the man felt about Sesshomaru being against him having any part of the Jewel (not that Inu Yasha would let him or anybody have any of it, either), but the young Asano's face wore no expression. Miroku, on the other hand, needed help getting his jaw off the floor. "But—" he stammered, "but if you feel that way, then—"

Sesshomaru finished the sentence for him: "Then I will probably lose Hisui forever, or fight her to the death over it, yes." He suddenly looked like he was forgetting something and held up a finger to keep anyone from talking while he remembered. "That reminds me: I have something for you, little brother." He pulled his hand out of his pocket and tossed something small and shiny at Inu Yasha, who snatched it out of the air in mid-arc.

The moment it hit his palm, Inu Yasha knew what it was but he didn't open his hand right away, his mind still frozen over what his hated brother had just done. Was this some kind of trick? Had Sesshomaru and Hisui planned this to put him off his guard so they could move in and take Mikoto's shards as well as Kagome's? The thing's sharp edges dug into his palm as his fist tightened at the thought of yet another betrayal from his own flesh and blood.

He was startled by Miroku's light touch on his knuckles, and his head snapped about to find the priest trying to pry open his fingers. With an offended growl, Inu Yasha pushed him away, then slowly opened his hand. The little Shikon fragment shimmered in the bright electric lights of the ballroom he rolled it back and forth in his palm. If he hadn't felt its power when it touched his skin, he'd think it was a fake. "Where did you get this?"

Sesshomaru turned away and started for the door. "I stole it from Hisui when we made love yesterday. I don't think you want to know where she was hiding it."

The boys turned green.

"Don't worry. I washed it."

Then he was gone, out the door, down the hall and out of the hotel before anyone recovered enough from the shock to even think of following him. Inu Yasha stared in a daze at the shard for a few moments more, then stuck it in the watch pocket of his jeans with the other two Asano fragments. "That was so fucking weird…"

Shunusuke looked grim as he gazed at the empty doorway. "He's lying," he turned around to face his companions. "I felt it. It was faint—he was definitely trying to very hard to block me—but I know he was lying."

"No shit he was lying," Inu Yasha grunted, "but the shard's genuine. What are they playing at?"

Miroku leaned on his staff and bit his lip thoughtfully. "They want to gain your trust to force you to lower your guard, of course." He laughed. "I can't believe they're that stupid. You never let down your guard!"

That put a smug grin on Inu Yasha's face, and Shunusuke had to laugh. "Except when Kagome's around, I've noticed. You'd better watch that. Hisui'll use it against you."

Yeah, she would, Inu Yasha knew, but he couldn't help the effect Kagome had on him. When she was in danger, it sharpened his senses and made him a super warrior, but when everything was peaceful… He closed his eyes and was instantly greeted with a memory of her smiling face. Per usual, it clenched at his heart and made his insides all watery. He wondered why Hisui wasn't threatening Kagome directly to get him to cooperate but was holding the proverbial sword to her family's throats instead. He was only marginally reassured by the knowledge that Sango was with Kagome, though the demon hunter hadn't appeared to be armed when they left to go shopping. Yuki had saved Kagome's life, but Inu Yasha still hesitated to trust her after learning she and her brother had lied to him. What bugged him most, though, was trying to figure out Hisui's game. Why did the little freak want them to act normal so badly? Why was that so important? It just didn't make sense! And why give him a Shikon shard when the whole point of threatening Kagome's family and the rest of them was to get his and Kagome's shards?

"Crazy bitch."

* * *

Sesshomaru found Hisui at a little table on the hotel's back veranda, watching the teenagers on the beach and drinking something blue with lots of ice in it. He sat down across from her and said simply: "Inu Yasha is now thoroughly confused."

"Was he alone?" Hisui asked and took a sip of her drink, never taking her eyes off the beach.

Sesshomaru flagged down a waiter and ordered a drink for himself before answering her. "No. Shunusuke and that priest were with him." As he expected, Hisui's back stiffened at the mention of her grandson's name. Shunusuke could tell when people were lying and when they were trying to hide something from his probing thoughts. Sesshomaru had no doubt that the young Asano knew he'd lied to them and that he'd tried to keep him from searching his mind. Whether or not Shunusuke had been able to pinpoint what parts of his little speech were lies and which were not, Sesshomaru couldn't say.

Hisui finally turned her chair around so she could look at him. "I see. Well, he's not good enough to get past even your mental defenses—no offense, darling, but you're not a telepath. I doubt the boy was able to find my reasons for having you give him the shard."

"You want to confuse them," Sesshomaru reminded her in a disgusted tone, "for its own sake and no other reason." He sighed heavily and turned his eyes from her impish face to watch the happy, oblivious teenagers. "Hisui, you know I love you, but you really are very childish sometimes. Why don't you just take up watercolor or sculpting?"

She snorted: "Boring, and there's no real variety. Can the clay interact with me? No. Can it feel or think? No."

"Then take up bloody computer role playing games!" Sesshomaru snapped.

"They don't feel anything, either!" She snapped back.

They quieted down when the waiter returned with Sesshomaru's drink and said nothing for a few minutes. Sesshomaru sipped his Midori and soda and fought to master his temper. Humans were hardly worth the amount of attention she was giving them, and frankly, as far as he was concerned, neither was his half-human brother. So Inu Yasha had shards of the Shikon Jewel. Fine. Just kill him and his little human girlfriend and take the bloody things! And if Mikoto tried to assert his claim, remind him of the family pecking order, violently if need be. It wasn't as if Hisui had ever been squeamish about killing her offspring. That was another interesting point: All of Hisui's children had been sired by humans. Not one full-blooded demon in the lot. Perhaps bearing their children was yet another way Hisui tormented humankind. Loving her certainly was torment for him and by no stretch of the imagination was he human. He hadn't lied to Inu Yasha about his feelings for Hisui, or his opinion of her attention span. Nor had he lied about the Tetsusaiga, just the shard.

"So now you're protecting him," Hisui pouted, "is that what you're doing? Protecting Inu Yasha from me? I thought you hated him."

Where had that come from? "Is that what you see in my mind?"

She frowned and looked away. "I don't probe you," she told him softly. "Not anymore. I did when we met, just to see if what you said about your feelings for me was true. I haven't looked since then."

Sesshomaru was stunned. He tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't turn her head his way. And was she…blushing? Could a blush be contrived? "Hisui…" he shook his head, not sure what he really wanted to say. He'd assumed all along that she kept tabs on him just as she did everyone else in her circle. He was sure he felt her mind touching his when they made love… no, it wasn't just a touch at those times, it was a caress. Impossible. Hisui Oukami couldn't possibly be returning his love. Not cold, shallow, homicidal Hisui, whose favorite hobby was messing with people's minds.

"I'm not trying to protect Inu Yasha," he told her instead of asking what he really wanted to know. Why wouldn't his heart slow down? Dammit, she must hear it pounding! "He's a big boy and can take care of himself. But he is my father's son, Hisui, my family. If you toy with him," he twirled the ice in his glass, "what's to keep you from doing the same with me? How long will I hold your interest, I wonder?"

That stung. Hisui's manicured hand tightened around her glass, and her jaw began to quiver. Still, she refused to look at him. "Longer than you obviously believe."

If you love me, you stubborn youkai, why can't you just say it? Sesshomaru stared at her burning cheeks, trying to make her hear that thought, then realized he was being a hypocrite and repeated it out loud. She uncrossed her legs, turned her body away from him, then crossed her legs again and chewed her fingernail. "Let me make this easier for you," Sesshomaru growled under his breath and drummed his fingers on the table top. "I…love…you. There. Isn't that an easy thing to say? I love you, Hisui. Simple. I'm a proud man but even I can say that."

She spun on him abruptly, and all of Sesshomaru's aggravation popped like a balloon. Tears shone in her golden eyes and threatened to brim over at any moment. Her cheeks were bright red, and her jaw trembled despite her efforts to stop it by biting her lip. Finally she lost the battle to keep her eyes open and blinked the tears away. She pulled a handkerchief from between her breasts and used it to angrily scrub the tears from her face.

The bottom dropped out of Sesshomaru's stomach. "Hisui, I—I'm sorry," he stammered and all but jumped into the chair next to hers to take over face mopping duties. "I didn't mean to upset you so. Shhh… please don't cry."

All at once, she tore the hanky out of his hand and pushed him away. "Do you think I can't love? I can't believe, after the past four months, that you'd actually believe those stupid Ice Queen stories about me! I thought you understood me!" She ran, sobbing, from the patio and into the hotel, knocking over her chair and her drink in her haste.

Sesshomaru hesitated for half a heartbeat, then chased after her. Shinnai appeared in the hallway and tried to block his path, but the demon lord effortlessly shoved him into the wall and kept running. The kitsune tried it again father down the hall, and again was roughly swept out of Sesshomaru's path. The third time he tried it, Sesshomaru decked him, leaving him in a stairwell on the second floor landing. He arrived at the room he shared with Hisui just in time to keep the door from being slammed in his face. He pushed it open to find Hisui trembling on the bed and looking at him like she thought he'd come to kill her. At least she didn't try to get away when he sat on the bed next to her and put his arms around her shoulders.

"Don't send your people to get in my way again, Hisui," he whispered into her hair.

She looked up curiously. "Who got in your—" then her expression went dark. "Shinnai. He's not in your way, Sess," she told him as she took his face in both her hands and drew him down for a gentle kiss, "you're in his."

Shinnai leaned his back against the door and rubbed his throbbing jaw. For a pretty boy, the Great Demon of the Western Lands could throw a helluva right hook. Shinnai knew what Hisui and that rich asshole were doing in there and it made him want to be sick. He was convinced that it was merely cruel fate that had made him an unfit partner for Hisui Oukami, and made the likes of Sesshomaru and all of her other mates worthy. Shinnai and Tsurai were nobodies in Hisui's book: A pair of poor kitsune from unimportant families who were good enough to hire but not good enough to marry. No Hisui for Shinnai. No Yuki for Tsurai. Usagi. Hmph. Brother had even concocted a bad-ass name for himself in hopes of impressing his boss' daughter. Yuki still couldn't stand him. At least he, Shinnai, remained true to himself. So true to himself and his feelings that he might just have put himself out of work. With a heartbroken sigh, Shinnai disappeared, not really sure where he planned to go.

Meanwhile, somewhere in downtown Tokyo, a demon hunter from feudal Japan was falling in love with ice cream, New York style pizza and off-the-rack couture.


	17. Chapter 17

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Seventeen

Inu Yasha sat on the bar and listened to Shunusuke's band rehearse songs that were very loud, sometimes screechy, but usually had a good beat to them. He had Shunusuke's acoustic guitar in his lap and while the band played, he picked out the melody, echoing it back in tones that weren't quite so painful to his sensitive ears. Shunusuke had given him little rubber earplugs, but they were designed for human ears and were too small for his canine ones. Anyway, they were uncomfortable, so he just kept his ears laid back and dealt with it. He rather liked playing the guitar, if only those other instruments weren't so loud that he couldn't hear it's sweet, rich voice as he plucked the strings. Even the presence of a pack of young, cute, female groupies that gathered to whisper and giggle and blush didn't embarrass his fingers into silence. Though he found it a bit distracting when the girls started swiveling their hips and shimmying to the music. Yup, dancing in Kagome's time was definitely more entertaining than dancing in his time (though he figured the girls' parents would be appalled if they could see how sexy they were acting around a bunch of strange men and a demon).

As the rehearsal continued, Inu Yasha experimented with chords, watching the musicians play them, then mimicking what their hands did. Two hours later, he was able to play three songs in their entirety (the names of which he learned from the band): "Eight Miles High" (The Byrds), "Hard Day's Night" (The Beatles) and "Incense and Peppermints" (Strawberry Alarm Clock—he had to have that name explained to him, and it still made no sense). He also found he could repeat most of the words he thought Shunusuke was singing, though he had no earthly idea what they meant. To him, they were just sounds. This trick amazed band and groupies alike, who tried very hard to convince Inu Yasha to try his hand at singing. They would've learned the high price of pissing off a guy with demon blood in him if Shunusuke hadn't been able to calm him down before the ol' Claws of Steel came out to play.

Rehearsal completed, the lads put away their instruments and nicked off for a bite to eat in one of the hotel's more casual eateries. The little a la carte café was on the other end of the back veranda from the place where Inu Yasha had endured breakfast with Hisui and her crowd the previous day. It offered simple food like ramen, rice balls, potato buns and a selection of chilled fruit balls and cold drinks (along with certain items Inu Yasha suspected were foreign). As they sat down at a table close to the beach to eat, the band tried to explain the Beatles phenomenon to Inu Yasha, who failed to understand how a group of musicians could have that big of a social impact on people all over the world. Nor did he get why a bunch of guys from England needed a guru from India, which was nowhere near England.

"They were musicians!" Inu Yasha argued for the tenth time and almost busted a chopstick clenching his fists with aggravation. "They wrote songs and shit! Didn't people have anybody better to follow? I thought you said they were fucked up on drugs most of the time?"

The drummer, Tetsu, sighed and replied very patiently: "You gotta understand the way things were back then. It was all about youth and rebellion, and these guys embodied that spirit. They had long hair and mod clothes when kids were expected to wear their hair short and neat and to dress up like they were going to some kind of fancy dinner party if they were going to perform on stage. They sang about dancing and girls at first, when they were just simply popular, then they starting singing and talking about the injustices in the world and other political issues that the previous generation, the people in power, seemed to be ignoring or even encouraging. I'm talking about in America and Europe, mostly, especially in America, where there were student protests and riots against this war their country was involved in in Vietnam and against separating blacks and whites—"

"Black and white what?" Inu Yasha interrupted.

"People," Atsuro the bassist explained. "See, in America, they used to have separate bathrooms and schools and everything for people who didn't have white skin—"

"Did black people have a disease white people thought they'd get?" Inu Yasha interrupted again.

Atsuro shook his head. "No. They used to be slaves a hundred years ago, so maybe that's it. They're a minority group, so they got persecuted."

Inu Yasha soaked it all in, fascinated by the strange ways of foreigners who lived in a country that didn't even exist in his time. "So, these kids in America…they could tell their government what to do, and the government just did it?"

Masato, the rhythm guitar and keyboard player, fielded that one. "No way! The government sent the National Guard against them with tear gas and police dogs and dragged them off to jail, even though the students had a right to protest by law. It was worse with the racial demonstrations. Black people got sprayed with fire hoses—high powered jets of water—and beat up with clubs and attacked by dogs. We read about it in school. It was a scary time over there." He grinned. "I'm glad I wasn't born yet."

"And didn't live in America," Tetsu added with a wry smirk. He turned to Inu Yasha and added: "We didn't go through that kind of upheaval here. It was just them, since they had that race problem and a war only the government really seemed to want to be involved in."

Inu Yasha took a pull off his soda. "So who won?"

"The war or the race thing?" Tetsu asked.

"Both."

They had to think about that one. Finally, Shunusuke replied: "I know they lost the war…sort of. The Americans pulled out without achieving their goal of driving the Communists out of South Vietnam. As for the racial problem: It still exists, it's just illegal to discriminate against people. So I guess you could say it's not institutionalized, but it's still a part of their society."

They ate in silence for a few minutes and watched girls in bikinis sunbathe, play, walk and whatever else they chose to do as long as they did it wearing bikinis. With his eyes still on the parade of titillating female flesh, Inu Yasha asked: "And the Beatles were involved in all that…how?"

"They wrote songs about how injustice is bad and somebody really should do something about it," Atsuro replied offhandedly, being more interested in girls than social commentary just then.

"And did lots of drugs," Tetsu added.

"And had a guru," said Masato.

"And great clothes," added Shunusuke.

To which Inu Yasha replied: "If gaijin are so confusing, why is everybody trying to be like them?"

"We're not," Shunusuke argued.

"Yes you are!"

"No we're not!"

Tetsu suddenly exclaimed: "Her top just came off!"

"WHERE?!"

End of discussion.

* * *

Yuki, Kagome and Sango had just put a second load of shopping bags into the trunk of Yuki's BMW and slammed it shut when Yuki paused and looked around. Lots of ordinary humans walking along the busy sidewalks and in and out of buildings. Traffic filled the street, both motorized and pedal powered. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, and yet…

Sango and Kagome also looked around. Sango murmured in Yuki's ear: "You feel it, too?"

Yuki nodded.

"Feel what?" Kagome asked but she had a feeling what the problem was even before Sango said it.

"We're being followed," the demon hunter told her. "I sensed it about a half hour ago, right after we left the ice cream vendor."

Yuki nodded, still looking around suspiciously. "Feels youkai to me." Sango nodded her agreement. "Confident, too, since we're acting like we know something's wrong and they're still hanging about."

"You can see them?" Kagome asked, moving closer to the other girls. Her hand went instinctively to the big jewel shard about her neck. Whoever they were, Kagome was sure Hisui or Mikoto had sent them to try and get her shard. Unless, of course, it was just Inu Yasha being his usual jealous self and trying to make sure she wasn't secretly meeting another boy, or something. Her blood started to boil at that thought. Wouldn't that be just like him?

Yuki clicked a button on her keychain to unlock the car doors, then went around to the driver's side and got in, motioning for the other girls to get in the car, too. As they pulled away from the curb and headed out of the city, Sango looked out the back window to see if anyone had followed. A black Mercedes pulled out of a spot across the street from the one they'd just left and blended into traffic two cars behind them. Before the other cars blocked her view, Sango got a look at the driver. He looked human to her. She didn't get a good look at his passenger, except to note that it was a man. "I think our tail is in that car two back from ours," she report to Yuki, who nodded.

"I think you're right," she said, glancing into the side mirror. She got the briefest look at the driver and cursed under her breath. "That looks like Tsurai. Shit."  
Kagome's heart sank. "So much for stopping by my house before going back to the beach." Not that she'd really thought they could go there without being followed or seen by whatever spies Hisui had watching the house (if she wasn't merely bluffing about that). She tried to see the other car in her side mirror, but couldn't. "Oh well, at least we got to have some fun before he showed up, right?"

Yuki wasn't so sure he hadn't been there all along. She knew Tsurai. If he didn't want to be noticed, he could hide from even Shunusuke. It was more likely the kitsune had simply chosen that moment to let them know he was there to subtly encourage her to quit spending her father's money. Wait till Daddy found out he'd bought Inu Yasha a new wardrobe, too. Yuki smirked at that thought. Served him right. Of course, she'd probably get what she deserved as soon as he got his next credit card statement. Hm. Maybe Sango didn't actually _need_ a pair of - 37, 000 designer boots with a matching - 22, 000 handbag… (By the way, that works out to about $300 and $200 USD, respectively. ~qos)

Later, Tsurai reported to his master over a cup of tea that Yuki had spent an entire morning buying things in Tokyo's hippest retro and designer boutiques, snack shops, music stores and book shops. He reported an estimated tab that made Mikoto choke on his tea.

As he dug up his migraine medication, Mikoto snarled: "Why in the hell does a girl who lives in feudal Japan need a - 160, 000 designer ensemble?!" **(For those who don't know the exchange rate, Yuki blew a little under $1400 just on clothes or around ******£900 for our British readers**. No wonder her father's pissed. -GreyAncient)**

* * *

While Mikoto was having a cow over his daughter's spending habits (wouldn't be so bad if the little freeloader would just get a job), the girls were showing off their purchases to the guys and having fun playing fashion show with Miroku and Shippo.

"Oh, yeah," Yuki declared as Miroku turned in the middle of the living room floor for her approval, "that suit is so you. I love it. Doesn't he look great, girls?"

Kagome and Sango looked at each other and gulped. If they agreed with her, Miroku might get the wrong idea and try to pat their butts again as soon as the opportunity presented itself. On the other hand, if they didn't agree, that would be mean, and the poor priest looked nothing short of dubious about the strange clothes Yuki had chosen for him. Kagome decided be honest: "I like it. Sango?"

"Uh-huh," the demon hunter nodded and tried to look sincere, "me, too."

Miroku's face fell. "You think I look silly, don't you?"

Kagome and Sango shook their heads vehemently. "Uh-uh," Kagome assured him, "we're just afraid you'll get the wrong idea if we tell you how good you look."

Sango crossed her arms and gave him a warning glare. "We don't want to get groped again because you misconstrued our compliments as permission."

The priest looked shocked. "Me? I would never do such a thing. Anyway, I already have a companion for the evening." He wrapped his arm around Yuki's waist and grinned when she rewarded him with a pat on the butt.

Kagome and Sango exchanged looks again, and Sango groaned: "Ye gods, they're two of a kind."


	18. Chapter 18

**(This is more of a recap and a hint of things to come than an actual chapter. Whether you want to actually read it or not is up to you. -GreyAncient)**

This is sort of chapter 18...

It's Wednesday night, and the gang is ready for the big, happenin' shindig Mikoto Asano (Yuki's and Shunusuke's dad) ordered to keep Hisui Oukami (the Great Demon of the Northern Lands and Mikoto's mom) happy.

In fact, a lot of things are being done to keep Little Miss Psychopathically Hip happy:

Everybody's acting like things are perfectly normal and they're having fun

Kagome isn't trying to contact her family, so Hisui won't have them killed

Shunusuke and Yuki are throwing a party

Sesshomaru is stocking up on condoms and reading the Karma Sutra and The Joy of Sex **(Did NOT need that mental image. -GreyAncient)**

Shinnai (Hisui's kitsune bodyguard) has made himself scarce

Mikoto isn't directly attacking Inu Yasha to get his Shikon Jewel shards

Mikoto put the resort back together after trashing it in a fight with Inu Yasha

Mikoto is also not raising a stink over all the money Yuki is spending on her new feudal friends, especially a certain demon hunter, who, it turns out, likes haute couture (though she has no idea what it is) and American junk food

(Gee, this Mikoto guy is awfully whipped for a big-time, "more-powerful-than-a-yakuza-crime lord" president of a major multinational microchip manufacturer.)

The Couples So Far:

Inu Yasha and Kagome (duh)

Sesshomaru and Hisui

Yuki and Miroku

Shippo and Rei (well, ok, they're just friends now that she knows what he is)

Shunusuke wants to hook up with Sango, Shinnai wants to hook up with Hisui and Shinnai's brother Usagi (who goes by Tsurai-Shi) wants to hook up with Yuki. The best odds are on Shunusuke and Sango.

The Million Yen Questions:

What became of Tachi and his gang of violent thugs?

Where's Hojo?

Just what is Hisui's game, anyway?

What part of the Jewel-thing was Sesshomaru telling the truth about: Who he got it from, how he got it from her, and/or from where did he extract it? (Icky!)

Did Sesshomaru's left arm grow back, is it a prosthetic, or what? (Answer: It grew back. -qos)

Is Kagome's family OK? (Answer: Geez! I'm not _that_ mean! -qos)

Will Yuki ever max out her father's charge card? (Answer: Nope. It's American Express. -qos)

Will Yuki get grounded, or otherwise punished for running up her daddy's charge account? (Answer: Hoo yeah. Daddy'll probably take her keys to the Beemer, or maybe he'll actually make her get a job. -qos)

Will the Queen of Swords ever post an entire new chapter anytime in the foreseeable future? (Answer: Yup! And soon I'll be back to my usual posting schedule with Gourrigan's Island and Anime Mystery Theatre and be able to launch those Zelgadis On The Couch spin-offs I've been yacking about. -qos)

The pics you're seeing **(Or rather, not seeing since this site doesn't support images. It's too bad too. Some of them are pretty amusing, like the one showing Yuki propositioning Miroku. Yes, I'm aware I'm an asshole. -GreyAncient)** are from my new friend: Alexandra Teixeira from Brazil. Except the title graphic, which is by my yiffy kitsune friend Silver Fox. (The Queen loves fan art, folks…) Yes, yes, I'll post a proper chapter next week. (We'll be mailing the Plans Book at last-and the rejoicing shall be great and endless. Yay.)


	19. Chapter 19

**(This chapter contains a minor songfic about halfway through. However, since it's merely "set to the tune of" and features original lyrics I'm hoping the admins will let it slide. -GreyAncient.)**

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE  
Chapter Nineteen

"Surreal…"

Inu Yasha stuck close to Kagome as he tried to navigate his way through the crowd while colored lights pulsed all around and loud music throbbed in his very bones. His ears were plastered against his skull, but the decibel level was still giving him a headache. He'd be blind or hypnotized if it wasn't for his dark blue sunglasses. The place was packed with mostly teenagers dressed much like himself and his companions, most of them gyrating in time with the music. Shunusuke's band was on a stage at the far end of the room. Cute girls in bikinis danced furiously at either end of the stage, each girl's body painted with strange words and symbols in bright colors. The girls were even more hypnotic than the lights—

"OOF! Kagome!"

"Stop staring."

Inu Yasha rubbed his dented tummy and muttered bitterly: "Bitch. Why don't you dance like that?"

Kagome huffed. "You've never seen me dance, so how do you know I don't dance like that?"

His mouth twitched. "Do you dance like that?" He shot a quick glance at the wiggling, mostly naked dancing girls, then back to Kagome. She was wearing more clothes than those other girls but not much. He imagined her jiggling and wriggling and got a great big, happy smile on his face. "Really?"

Kagome frowned. "Why? Do you want me to get up there and dance, too?"

Inu Yasha gaped. "NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!" Then he coughed and gave her an embarrassed look. "I meant, just for me…if you want to…"

"Maybe later," she purred with a playful wink, then grabbed his hand and dragged him in the direction of the bar.

Inu Yasha's heart jumped into his throat at the implications of that. She'd dance for him later…maybe? He imagined them in her hotel room, him sitting on her bed, her in that tiny bathing suit from yesterday…those long legs…curvy hips…jiggly breasts…soft, dark hair…

"OOF! WHAT?!"

"I asked if you're thirsty," Kagome growled. "Quit thinking about those dancing girls."

He blinked. "I was thinking about you!"

Blush. Giggle. "Oh. That's ok, then. Want something to drink?"

"Beer."

She gave him a funny look, then ordered him a beer and got a Coke for herself. Drinks procured, they wandered back into the crowd. Inu Yasha scanned the room for familiar faces. He'd already located Shunusuke (big no-brainer, since the guy was on stage). The others, led by Yuki, had made a beeline for the dance floor, Shippo instantly hooking up with Rei. At a big, round table in the corner, Keiichi had a card game going. Karami stood behind him, leaning sexily on his shoulder like a cat. He wore a dark blue velvet suit with a white scarf at his neck and had a big, gold ring on his right hand that glittered in the light as he dealt the cards. She was in a blue velvet catsuit with high-heeled blue boots.

Inu Yasha's eyes roved from the card game, across the crowd, seeking anyone with white hair. He supposed he was curious to see if Hisui would attend this "forced fun" function, or if they were expected to carry on the pretense without her. But what he really wanted to see was his snotty, usually tasteful brother dressed up in a silly outfit. No, if Sesshomaru dressed up for this, it would be in whatever passed for high fashion in the era in question, which would also be interesting to see considering how outlandish the clothes seemed to be in general. Except for his own leathers, of course, and Kagome's sexy little get up, which was very nice, indeed. Now that he saw them on her curvaceous body, he could see why those shorts were called Hot Pants. Hers were bright lemon yellow suede with a matching, equally short, barely there vest and tall, white, high-heeled boots. It was almost more than his already fragile libido could take. Especially watching her hips swing as she walked in front of him, drink in one hand, his hand in the other.

Watching her butt put him in mind of all those "butt" comments he'd received upon his arrival at the beach, so he started slyly looking about to see if any of the girls were checking out his backside in his tight, leather pants. Come to think of it, Kagome hadn't even tried to look at his butt, much less tell him it was cute! Maybe he just hadn't seen her do it…

"Looking butch, Inu Yasha," cooed a female voice in his ear, breaking Inu Yasha's train of thought with a jolt.

Ugh. Hisui. Inu Yasha stopped, forcing Kagome to stop with him and turn around curiously to see what was wrong. Her expression quickly went from happy to hate, then darkened even further when she saw Sesshomaru standing beside Hisui. Inu Yasha noticed his brother and sneered: "You look like a poof."

Sesshomaru gave him a bored look. "You have no taste, brother. This was haut couture in 1968, which is when I first purchased this suit."

"'Haut-?'"

"High fashion, dolt."

Inu Yasha bristled at the insult, but Hisui spoke before he could retaliate. The demon lord slunk close, reached around and gave Inu Yasha's butt a little pat. "Nice ass for a puppy."

Inu Yasha lowered his ears and growled at her, to no effect. "'Puppy'?"

She giggled. Inu Yasha bit his tongue against telling her she looked slutty, since the only difference between her outfit and Kagome's was the color: Hers was lavender, just a few shades paler than Sesshomaru's velvet suit. Inu Yasha could just imagine Hisui and his brother spending an afternoon picking out matching outfits and taking great care to see that they didn't clash with each other.

And just why in the hell wasn't Sesshomaru angry that his girlfriend was admiring some other guy's ass?! If it had been him, Inu Yasha would've gone ballistic over anybody even looking at Kagome's butt much less touching it! Didn't the man have any pride? This was Sesshomaru, after all, the Great Demon of the Western Lands. You'd think he'd have the balls to stand up to—well, ok, maybe not stand up to Hisui Oukami the psychopath. Gods it hurt seeing his own flesh and blood so thoroughly whipped.

"Get your hand off his butt!" Kagome snapped and jerked Inu Yasha out of the demon lord's reach. She glared meaningfully at Sesshomaru. "Pat _his_ butt!"

"Are you saying you like my ass?" Sesshomaru teased.

Kagome gagged. Inu Yasha turned purple with rage. "Come on, Inu Yasha," Kagome sniffed, "we don't have to put up with this. Let's go find Sango." As she dragged him into the crowd, Inu Yasha heard the demon lords having a good laugh at their expense.

When she thought they were far enough away, Kagome stopped and turned to face him, trembling with emotion. "I can't believe that cretin is related to you! He is such a jerk!"

Inu Yasha found that comment rather interesting, since Kagome was usually calling him a jerk. "Does this mean you don't think I'm a jerk anymore?" He asked and gave her exposed belly a teasing little poke with one of his claws.

Much to his surprise and quivering delight, she seemed to like that and rewarded him with a shy, sexy smile. "Well," she told him with a blush, "not as much as I used to before you starting acting like I'm your girlfriend…" She moved in close and started twisting his prayer bead necklace around her index finger.

That's when Sesshomaru and Hisui took them by surprise again, each one patting a butt on their way past. Kagome and Inu Yasha jumped with startled yelps and almost spilled their drinks in their haste to get their asses out of smacking range.

"Sesshomaru…" Inu Yasha snarled at the same time Kagome cursed Hisui for touching Inu Yasha again.

"Ooooooh, I hate that woman!"

The demon lords were greatly amused.

* * *

Meanwhile, Miroku and Yuki were getting busy on the dance floor with Shippo, Rei and Sango, who was boogying with the best of them after no small amount of convincing from her friends. Miroku was sure he'd died and gone to heaven. Seeing mostly naked women walking or running on the beach was one thing, the same women sensuously wiggling their scrumptious young bodies on the dance floor was even better. And seeing Sango in an ultra-short, sleeveless dress of soft, body caressing, pink silk made it oh, so difficult to remain loyal to Yuki. However, Yuki's dress was just as short and her body just as exciting. Well, the decision should really be easy, he thought, Yuki had already made her desire to share his bed very clear, while Sango seemed determine to put him off. The way Yuki was looking at him, Miroku was almost positive he'd be getting some after the party—maybe even before the party was over if he played it right. Ah yes, Japan in Kagome's time was a truly wonderful place.

Sango noticed Miroku was watching her dance, got embarrassed and decided it was safer to leave the dance floor and look for Kagome, making the priest's decision to stick with Yuki much simpler. Conveniently, Kagome and Inu Yasha were looking for her, so they met in the middle of the room. Sango told Kagome Miroku was watching her dance, so she didn't want to dance anymore if was just going to be a kinky show for the world's most oversexed Buddhist priest. Kagome said she wanted to dance, Miroku or no Miroku, to which Inu Yasha added that he'd pound Miroku if he caught him watching Kagome dance, would Sango like similar insurance? Half-demon bodyguard in tow, the girls headed for the dance floor and gyrated right in front of Miroku just to see how effective Inu Yasha's glares and growls were.

Very.

Miroku turned his back to Kagome and Sango and danced exclusively with Yuki, who was well pleased with his decision to give her his undivided attention. She rewarded his loyalty by hooking her arms around his neck and dancing against his body. Five minutes later, he and Yuki left the party in favor of the more private condominium.

"That took longer than I thought it would," Shippo observed with a wry snort.

Sango rolled her eyes. "With that outfit she was wearing, I'm surprised he held out as long as he did, right, Kagome?"

Kagome and Inu Yasha were lost in their own boogie-oogie world, each one mesmerized by the other's moves. Inu Yasha had a perfectly silly grin on his face. Kagome batted her eyelashes at him and wriggled her hips some more just for the fun of watching his head move with them like a snake following a snake charmer's flute.

Rei giggled. "I think he's hypnotized!"

Sango stopped dancing and crossed her arms with a disgusted snort. "He's something alright!"

"Oh, come on, Sango, lighten up," Shippo teased. "Have some fun! Just because your date is playing in the band doesn't mean you have to be bored!"

"SHUNUSUKE IS NOT MY DATE!"

Everybody on the dance floor stared at Sango as the guitar hit a sour note in the middle of "Get Off Of My Cloud", not that anybody noticed that, since Keith Richards tended to be slightly off key back in the sixties, anyway (drugs'll do that to you). The demon hunter blushed and ran from the dance floor, pushing partygoers aside in her haste to get someplace where Shunusuke couldn't look at her—where nobody could look at her. Stupid party! Stupid idea! Who talked her into this, anyway?

Kagome wanted to run after her, but Inu Yasha and Shippo stopped her. "She probably wants to be left alone," Shippo advised, but Kagome wouldn't listen.

"She needs a friend," Kagome argued as she broke free of Inu Yasha's hand on her arm, shoved her drink into Rei's hand and ran after Sango.

Inu Yasha and Shippo exchanged puzzled looks. "I thought we were her friends…" Inu Yasha muttered, pushed his glass into Rei's free hand and followed Kagome, Shippo on his heels.

Rei felt totally left out and wasn't sure whether it would be right for her to follow them, since she didn't really know Sango. Furthermore, what in the world did Inu Yasha expect her to do with a beer? She didn't drink that kind of stuff! Ugh. Not sure what else to do, she just stood on the dance floor, not dancing, and getting stared at for it until someone showed up to rescue her.

"Uh, hi, Rei…are you here alone?"

Rei turned around to find a cute boy in striped pants, silk shirt and cravat standing behind her, looking really nervous. He tugged at the cravat, as if it was choking him and gave her a charming, if shaky smile.

"Hojo!" Rei shoved the beer into his hand, earning herself an odd look for even possessing such a beverage. "I am soooo glad to see you! Where've you been?"

Obviously not believing his good fortune in having a cute girl elated to see him (and notice he hadn't been around all week), Hojo's face locked up in dorky smile mode. He wanted to ask where Kagome had got to, but didn't think that would be a very polite thing to ask his dancing partner. (Anyway, he distinctly saw Kagome leaving with that martial artist/demon everyone was talking about—and did that little boy they were with have a tail?)

Finally, he said: "I came down with a cold the first night I was here, so I stayed in my room so I wouldn't infect anybody. It sounds like I missed some excitement."

"Did you ever!" Rei gushed, and pulled him off the dance floor and over to an empty corner to fill him in on the week's activities.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the condo…

*pant-pant-pant-pant*

* * *

Uh, never mind the condo. Out on the beach, Sango was on her knees in the sand, crying, half of her hoping nobody would follow her, the other half wishing somebody would. But not a male somebody, that would be too embarrassing. Unless it was Shippo, of course, since he was to young to count. Ok, or Inu Yasha, since he was sort of taken and, therefore, "safe". That fickle creep Miroku was such a sex-crazed jerk! He'd spent weeks going on about how beautiful she was and wouldn't she please bear his child, then a total stranger says she wants to sleep with him, and suddenly good ol' Sango is chopped liver! For a while there, he actually (almost) had her believing he wanted more than just sex from her, but after the way he acted on the dance floor, she knew better. What a total creep! And it wasn't as if she really liked him that much, anyway. Not really. Except when he was putting his life in danger for the rest of them…or making a joke to cheer her up…or smacking Inu Yasha with his staff when that big, demonic butthead was making an ass of himself again. Those good feelings lasted until he rubbed her butt or chased after another woman…again.

Sniff! "Too bad Naraku's curse didn't make Miroku's grandfather's thing fall off, then I wouldn't have to deal with his stupid, womanizing descendant!"

Behind her, Shippo and Inu Yasha smacked their hands over themselves and cringed. "Harsh!" Shippo squeaked.

Sango startled at the sound of his voice and hastily wiped the tears from her face. "Wha—what are you guys doing here? Can't you see I want to be alone?" Sniffle.

Kagome didn't buy that. She sat down next to her friend, put her arms around her and gave her a gentle hug, sending Sango into a renewed fit of sobs. "I didn't know you felt that way about Miroku…"

"I don't!" Sango snuggled into Kagome's shoulder and added: "He's a shameless womanizer! I hate him!"

"Don't say that," Kagome chided her quietly, "you don't really hate him, do you? I know he's creepy sometimes, but he's not a bad man at all. Not like Naraku's a bad man, I mean, or Sesshomaru's a bad man. I'm saying he's a nice guy inside, he's just a bit…um…"

"Horny." Inu Yasha flatly filled in the blank for her.

"Very," Shippo agreed with a scowl.

Suddenly Myouga hopped across the sand and onto Inu Yasha shoulder in a royal fit of outrage and declared at the top of his voice: "He's a disgusting, kinky, pervert! You should see what he's doing to that girl! And that brazen hussy is enjoying it!"

*blink-blink*

Everyone else's jaw dropped, then they gasped as one: "YOU WATCHED THEM HAVE SEX?!"

"Now who's the pervert?" Inu Yasha added under his breath.

Myouga hurried to defend himself. "Well, I couldn't help it, since they were doing it in the bed next to the table upon which I was sleeping! All that grunting and groaning woke me up—and what did I wake up to? A couple of humans mating!" He wrung his hands and shook his head. "Not a pretty sight when one first awakens, let me tell you! I mean, she's a lovely girl, of course, but that priest! Has he no shame?"

All together now: "None."

"Well," Kagome blushed, "you sort of have to be naked to do that…um, don't you?"

"I meant he's shameless because he's a man of the cloth, not because—oh, never mind!" The Flea grumbled. "I don't even want to talk about it. I'm traumatized."

Inu Yasha tried very hard not to laugh at his poor servant, though when he thought about it, he had to admit waking up to a naked Miroku would probably traumatize him, too. Yuki naked might not be such a bad thing to wake up to… Kagome would be lots better, though. Heh. Oh yeah.

Myouga noticed the tears on Sango's cheeks and asked: "Why are you crying?" Then glared at his master. "What did you say this time, Lord Inu Yasha?"

Inu Yasha flicked him off his shoulder with an indignant sniff. "It was Shippo this time, not me."

"Hey!" Shippo protested as he reached out his hands to catch Myouga. "It's not my fault! It's Miroku's for dumping Sango for Yuki!"

"HE DID NOT DUMP ME!"

Inu Yasha gave Myouga a meaningful look. "See? Shippo. Last time he called Shunusuke her 'date', now he says it's Miroku. I didn't do anything!" He crossed his arms and tossed his head. "Hmph! Why's everybody blame me all the time?"

"Because you're an ass?" Shippo offered and got his palm bit. "OW!" The kitsune shook his injured hand, sending Myouga flying into Kagome's hair.

Kagome plucked him out and set him down on the sand in front of her and Sango, realized that would give him a great view up Sango's dress, moved him to her shoulder, realized that gave him an eyeful of her cleavage and set him next to her in the sand instead. Then she felt stupid for thinking a flea (even a demon flea) would care about panties or cleavage (especially after he was so traumatized by full nudity).

"Stop it!" Sango growled. She jumped to her feet, turned on her heel and was just about to head off down the beach away from the condo and the hotel when she spotted Shunusuke standing a few yards behind Inu Yasha and froze.

He stood with his hands dug into his pockets, an awkward expression on his face and a perfectly ridiculous short wig on his head. As soon as Sango thought that, he pulled off the wig and stuffed it into his pants pocket, leaving his hair to tumble down about his shoulders.

The others noticed him, looked from him to Sango and gulped. While they were deciding what to do, a group of girls emerged from the hotel, spotted Shunusuke, then Inu Yasha and screamed. "IT'S THEM! AHHHH!" And ran for the two thoroughly startled men, who could only stare at them in shock until the groupies were almost upon them. They exchanged terrified looks, then took off down the beach.

* * *

Crazy Songfic to the tune of The Beatle's "Hard Day's Night".

George Harrison chord…

_I found some shards last night, and I been fighting like a dog  
I found some shards last night, I could be sleeping like a log_

Inu Yasha and Shunusuke run through the sand, the gang of screaming teenage girls hot on their heels, headed in the direction of a boardwalk of shops that runs south from the end of the hotel.

_But when I give them to you I'll find the things that you'll do  
Will make me real uptight_

The hysterical girls run down the boardwalk, past a park bench where two men are reading newspapers. Once the girls are past, the guys let down the newspapers, and it's Shunusuke and Inu Yasha. Sango, Kagome, Shippo and Myouga catch up to them.

_You know I work all day to keep the demon lords at bay  
And it'd be nice just to hear you say "gee, Inu Yasha, you're so brave"_

_That's why I bitch and I moan, 'cause when you want to go home  
You know I'm jealous as hell_

Looking rather cross, Kagome exclaims: "Inu Yasha, you wimp! I can't believe you're afraid of a bunch of girls!"

The girls in question hear his name, turn around and come screaming back the way they came. Inu Yasha and Shunusuke jump up and start running again. Kagome and the others look from the groupies to them, then back again, then take off after Inu Yasha and Shunusuke.

guitar solo!

The groupies, Kagome, et al tear past a couple of phone booths, not noticing it's Shunusuke and Inu Yasha placing calls. The guys drop the receivers and run in the opposite direction as soon as they're past.

Still shot of Shunusuke grinning and waggling his eyebrows.

Still shot of Inu Yasha snarling.

Still shot of Shunusuke popping a bicep, then Inu Yasha comes into frame, flexing his arm, and they compare muscles.

Still shot of Inu Yasha swinging around the Tetsusaiga.

Still shot of Shunusuke doing Aikido moves.

_When you're home I feel really uptight  
When you're home taking those tests can't be right!  
Right! Yeah!  
WAAAAAAA!_

Then the girls catch up to them outside a magazine shop, chase them inside, around the racks, then back out again just in time to almost crash into Kagome and the others. Inu Yasha throws Kagome over his shoulder and Shunusuke does the same with Sango, scooping up Shippo (with Myouga clinging to his kimono) with the other.

_And so I bitch and I moan, 'cause when you want to go home  
You know I whine all day_

They're stopped by Ho jo and Rei as they charge back into the Green Mermaid.

Hojo looks at Inu Yasha: "Say…aren't you-?

Inu Yasha: "No, I'm sure I'm not him."

Hojo says: "Are you quite sure?"

Inu Yasha: "You must have me confused with somebody else…"

Hojo: "No, I know it's you. It's the ears!"

Inu Yasha: "Are you sure?"

Hojo looks at Inu Yasha very closely as the demon lays his ears down flat enough to hide behind his tousled bangs. The human frowns, then takes Rei by the hand and heads back into the party room. "You're not him at all!"

Inu Yasha exchanges a puzzled look with Shunusuke. "I think he looks more like him than I do."

_You know I whine all day  
You know I whine all day_

George Harrison guitar riffs out

* * *

"Inu Yasha! Put me down this instant!"

As he put Kagome down, Inu Yasha glared after Hojo and grumbled: "I can't believe that idiot didn't even notice I had a girl over my shoulder!"


	20. Chapter 20

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Twenty

Even just a day ago, Inu Yasha would never have been able to imagine himself at a party with humans, much less enjoying himself as much as he was that evening. He sat at a table with his friends (he found he was comfortable calling them that), drinking and listening to Shunusuke's band. Hisui and Sesshomaru shared a table with Mikoto and Tsurai on the other side of the room, which suited Inu Yasha just fine. He was also cool with Hojo's company, though he'd come to the beach hating the guy's guts and spoiling to fight him for Kagome. Hojo seemed much more interested in Kagome's friend Rei. Good boy. Kagome was getting drowsy (that, or she was trying to drop a hint) and sat beside Inu Yasha with her head on his shoulder and her eyes at half mast as she listened to the conversation around her. Yuki and Miroku were back and way too cozy for Inu Yasha's liking. At least they'd bathed before returning to the party, for which Inu Yasha and his sensitive nose were grateful. He'd never liked the smell of overexerted humans. For two people who had just spent most of the evening having sex, Miroku and Yuki were remarkably perky. Even Sango wasn't sulking anymore. She sat on Inu Yasha's other side, sipping something called a Long Island Tea and looking quite content. She hadn't even made a fuss when Shunusuke had parked himself next to her during his last break. Shunusuke obviously seemed to think he was making progress with the demon hunter, but Inu Yasha had a feeling Sango's drink had more to do with her good humor than Shunusuke's charm.

He watched Yuki and Miroku holding hands and chatting with their faces almost close enough to kiss, their eyes shining and happy. Then he looked at Rei and Hojo, who sat close together (though not as close as Yuki and Miroku), laughing about something some girl at their school had done in gym class. Shippo was getting Myouga soused again by dipping his finger in Sango's drink when she wasn't looking and letting the flea sip the droplet from his fingertip. The little kitsune didn't seem too upset over losing his girl to a human and even seemed to like Hojo. Every once in a while, Shippo would cast a mischievous look at Inu Yasha and Kagome, probably wondering when the pair was going to disappear together, as Yuki and her pet priest had earlier. Well, he was gonna wait a long time, Inu Yasha thought sourly. He didn't think Kagome was that kind of a girl, no matter how much she teased him. He knew she was just being cute (and sexy and exciting and…)

Sigh. Inu Yasha closed his eyes and replayed everything Kagome had said to him or that he'd overheard her say about him that evening.

* * *

_Inu Yasha Flashback_

_ "You mean you've never thought about doing that with Inu Yasha?!" Rei asked Kagome incredulously as they huddled together by the bar, waiting for Inu Yasha and Hojo to return with fresh drinks. ___

_ Kagome blushed. "You mean, what Yuki and Miroku did? Rei!"___

_ They giggled. "You can't tell me you haven't thought about doing something with him, Kagome. You know, like kissing—"___

_ "Done that." Big, happy sigh. They giggled again.___

_ "That good, huh?" ___

_ Kagome sighed again. "Very good. It was wonderful!"___

_ Rei squealed with delight. "Did he hold you really close?"___

_ "Very." ___

_ "What else did he do?"___

_ "Rei!" Kagome looked around nervously. "What if he can hear us?"  
_

_ Later…_

_ "Well, ok, I sort of thought about…you know…him kissing me someplace other than my lips…" Kagome confessed to Rei and Sango when she thought Inu Yasha was too occupied talking guy stuff with Hojo and Shippo. Or maybe she was really counting on his radar ears to pick up every word. ___

_ Rei and Sango gasped in unison. "Really?" Rei prodded. "Like…where?"___

_ Kagome was in dreamland. "And his hands are so…the way he touches me…"___

_ "Touches you?!" The girls squeaked. "He touches—" Rei began, but Kagome cut her off.___

_ "Not like that!" Kagome scolded her. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Rei!"_

_ Later…_

_ Inu Yasha and Kagome danced to a slow song. By now he was a little muzzy from too much beer (even a demon can overdo it) and was convinced he was in heaven with her body swaying against his, and her head resting against his shoulder. "She's so soft…" he thought as he tangled his fingers in her hair and rested his chin on her head.  
__  
__ She looked up at him, and he gave her a long, deep, warm kiss, ignoring the stares of the other partygoers, who practically stopped everything to watch them. When he finally released her, she sighed and whispered: "You're really good at that."_

_End of Flashback  
_

* * *

Inu Yasha smiled and rested his head against Kagome's, his eyes still contentedly closed. That is, until Shippo noticed what he was doing.

"Now's your chance!" The kitsune hissed at him. "Take her upstairs, Inu Ya—URK!"

Inu Yasha reached around Sango and shut him up with a fist to the stomach. "Don't spoil it, fox."

Shippo peeped an apology.

"Upstairs?" Kagome mumbled with a sly smile. "What kind of a girl do you think I am, Shippo?" She kept her head on Inu Yasha's shoulder and her eyes serenely closed.

Shippo gulped and let go a string of very humble apologies, which were cut off by the necessity of catching Myouga as he passed out and almost tumbled straight off the table. Sango giggled and hiccuped, then her eyes rolled up into her head and she started a slow slide off her chair, and Shippo struggled to rescue her, as well, only to find himself being dragged toward the floor by her superior size and weight.

With an aggravated sigh, Inu Yasha grabbed the back of Sango's dress and hauled her back onto her chair. She immediately started to slip again. "Great," Inu Yasha muttered as he reluctantly got up and hoisted Sango into his arms. "I guess I should take her to the condo, or something." He gave Kagome an apologetic look and said: "I'll be right back. Shippo, gimme Myouga." The kitsune gulped and gently lay Myouga on Sango's belly.

As he passed her, Kagome purred: "I'm kind of tired, so I'll be in my room."

Thumpa-thumpa-thumpa. Inu Yasha grinned a dopey grin and nodded stupidly. "Uh-ok." All of a sudden his mouth was incredibly dry, and he was cold sober. In her room… As he headed out the door with Sango in his arms and Shippo (carrying Myouga) on his shoulder, all Inu Yasha could think about was Kagome's suggestion at the start of the party that maybe she'd dance for him sometime when they were alone. He got a really good picture of that in his mind and once again heard her telling Rei about his nice hands and how she wanted him to kiss her someplace other than her lips. His silly grin got even sillier as he thought happily: "There is a god!"

* * *

Hisui watched Inu Yasha go out of the corner of her eye and smiled a clever smile. "Your brother is leaving with the wrong girl, Darling," she commented offhandedly to Sesshomaru, who raised a disinterested eyebrow.

"His friend had too much to drink, and he's taking her home," Sesshomaru shrugged. "Isn't he nice?"

"Charming," Hisui giggled. "I never imagined one of Nishi's boys could be so sweet—oh!" She gave herself a gentle smack on the forehead. "Silly me! She's human, isn't she? Of course Inu Yasha would treat her like a princess!"

Sesshomaru shook his head and chuckled. "All of your children had human fathers, didn't they, Hisui?"

Hisui's jaw shut with a snap.

"I've often wondered why you chose humans to sire your offspring," Sesshomaru continued in a thoughtful voice. He twirled his glass, watching Mikoto shift uncomfortably directly across the table from him. "You could have had me at any time, you know," he sighed, "but you never noticed me until now. I've often wondered about that, as well."

Hisui's jaw dropped back open and she blinked a few times, as if confused. She didn't dare look at Sesshomaru when she asked: "You—you've wanted me…for a long time? How long?"

He shrugged. "A few centuries," then he smiled a little and added: "But I never imagined the great Hisui Oukami could want an whelp like me, so I didn't try to contact you. Anyway," he sighed, "you might have interpreted it as a challenge and fought me. I could never have defeated you in my youth."

She chuckled. "Meaning you think you could defeat me now?" She leaned over and lay her head on his shoulder, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously.

"I'll never fight you, Hisui, so your question will simply have to remain unanswered." With that, he gave her a quick peck on the forehead and went back to sipping his Midori and soda.

Mikoto and Tsurai looked like they were going to be sick.

* * *

Inu Yasha lay Sango on the bed, then lay Myouga on a pile of tissues on the nightstand beside her. He turned to go but stopped in the doorway and looked back at his friends, an inexplicable feeling of unease in his gut. Maybe he shouldn't leave Sango unguarded with Hisui and her lackeys running loose. In her place, he'd see this as a golden opportunity to strike a blow against him and Kagome. Well, if he was going to stay here instead of meeting Kagome in her hotel room, he should let her know. He grimaced. He'd much rather be alone with Kagome than sit guard on Sango. Hm. Maybe Shunusuke could watch her if he was done playing. The party seemed to be winding down a little when he left, but what did he know about parties? No, Shunusuke might be in cahoots with his relatives, after all. Miroku? Now that Yuki had his attention maybe the priest could be trusted not to take advantage of Sango in her inebriated condition. As soon as he thought of it, Inu Yasha rejected the idea. Miroku would bring Yuki along, and the two of them would spend their time having sex, instead of protecting Sango.

Well, there was nothing for it but to try to convince Kagome to come here, and if anybody else tagged along, he'd just deal with it.

SIGH.

Inu Yasha picked up the phone, then realized he had no earthly idea how to use it to contact Kagome. Shit. Now what? He racked his brains trying to remember the crash course Shunusuke and Keiichi had given him over the weekend. Something about a sequence of numbers being entered—right! Shippo had Kagome's numbers on a piece of paper! But what had the little furball done with that paper?! Shitshitshitshitshit! Inu Yasha rifled through the nightstand drawers, then the dresser drawers, then his own clothes, then went out to the living room to search there. No paper. Kitchen? He looked everywhere, in every drawer, on every counter, even in the spice jars. Nothing.

"SHIPPO!"

Ok, he coached himself, be calm. If he was Shippo, what would he do with that piece of paper? Inu Yasha thought about it for a while, then realized with an angry groan that the kitsune had probably kept it on his person.

"No wait! He gave it me! Fuck! What'd I do with it?!" He ran to the other bedroom and almost choked on the smell. Pinching his nose shut with one hand, he searched every available drawer and pocket with the other and came up dry. Then he checked the bathroom, but it wasn't there, either. Inu Yasha was finally forced to admit that the little piece of paper was nowhere to be found: Not in drawers, clothes, jars or even trash baskets. Where hadn't he looked?

Think. Think. Think. Think. OH! Inu Yasha jumped up off the living room couch and pulled off the cushions, throwing them over his head without a care for what they crashed into. "FUCK!" He turned his attack on the chair in the living room, then the chairs around the kitchen table, then ran into the bathroom and upended the clothes hamper, strewing dirty clothes all over the floor. He fell upon the pile with a vengeance, tossing panties and shorts and bras and T-shirts and briefs all over the place.

"ARGH!"

He sat in the middle of the bathroom floor and panted in absolute frustration with a pair of Yuki's panties hanging off of one of his ears. Pieces of paper didn't just disappear, dammit, where had it gone? He dug around in his pockets once more: Nothing but jewel shards. With an angry snarl he got up to return to Sango's room and think some more then caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and froze. "Shit." He yanked the panties off his ear with a great, big blush and threw them over his shoulder. "This sucks."

Inu Yasha sat down on the end of the bed to sulk. Maybe if he thought about it hard enough, Shunusuke could hear him with that Jedi mind trick thing he said he had. Feh! Just his luck, Hisui would hear him instead. After a while, he noticed Sango was shivering, so he picked her up, pulled down the coverlet, set her back down and covered her up. The things he did for these feeble humans! It then occurred to him that certain not-so-feeble part-humans had done quite a bit for him, and he'd just trashed their house, so with a weary sigh, he started to clean up his mess.

"Couldn't hurt to try that Jedi thing…"

* * *

The feeling that someone badly wanted his presence persisted for a full half hour before Shunusuke decided it wasn't his imagination and wrapped his last set so he could find a quiet spot to figure out who was trying to contact him. Since everybody else who knew about his ability was in the room, he reasoned it must be Inu Yasha. Judging from the anxious feelings he was also receiving, something was wrong. He just hoped it had nothing to do with Sango. He'd seen Inu Yasha carry her out and had assumed she'd just passed out after drinking to much. Well, one way to find out if that was in fact the case. He caught Kagome as she rose to leave.

"What was wrong with Sango?" Shunusuke asked, failing to keep the worry out of his voice.

Kagome picked up on it and frowned. "She had too much to drink. Why?" She couldn't keep her eyes from wandering to where Hisui's party sat. The demon lord was watching her and Shunusuke talk. Great. Kagome drew closer to Shunusuke. "You don't think Hisui did anything to her, do you?"

Shunusuke shook his head. "I don't know. I've been feeling Inu Yasha trying to reach me for the last half hour, and he's anxious about something. Did he go back to the condo?"

Kagome nodded. "He said he'd be back, though." Not if something bad had happened, he wouldn't, or if he feared for Sango. "Do you think something's happened?" Come to think of it, she hadn't seen that freak Shinnai all evening… Kagome's stomach clenched into a chilly knot as the others gathered around her worriedly.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" Miroku demanded cautiously, looking from her to Shunusuke.

"One way to find out," Shunusuke sighed and headed for the door, Kagome, Yuki, Miroku and Shippo right behind him.

Hisui curiously watched them go, reaching out to touch Shunusuke's mind with her own only to find her probe blocked by a surprisingly solid mental wall. Hmph! Cocky pup. She broke the wall but found a complex maze beyond. "Not bad at all," she thought with a pleased smile. It seemed Mikoto had finally produced a child worthy of her name. Too bad he was such a peacenik.

The gang ran as fast as they could down the beach toward the condo, fearing the worst. Shunusuke's worried expression didn't help their collective peace of mind any, especially Kagome, who could easily imagine the kind of trouble Inu Yasha could get into. Even the most innocent situation seemed to turn into the gravest danger with him. Must be his karma, she thought (and hers, too, by association). And here she'd been imagining a romantic night spent all alone with Inu Yasha—sigh—kissing, cuddling, flirting. He might even have been in the mood to bare his soul for once. They could've had a heart-to-heart talk! AUGH! Damn his stupid karma!

By the time they arrived at the condo, all but Shippo were out of breath, but still they charged up the stairs, piled through the front door and into the house to find Inu Yasha standing in the middle of the living room floor with his hands on his hips, his ears laid back and major scowl on his face.

"WHICH OF YOU ASSHOLES HID KAGOME'S PHONE NUMBER?!"

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Kagome's blood boiled. She clenched her fists, her face turned red, her eyes squeezed shut, and she screamed: "THAT'S IT?! THAT'S WHAT YOU BUGGED SHUNUSUKE ABOUT?! MY STUPID PHONE NUMBER?!"

Gulp. "Uh…well, I, um, wanted to tell you, um, that I should stay here and, um, protect—"

**"SIT!"**


	21. Chapter 21

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter 21

Next morning…

"My head…" Sango groaned. She sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed and cradled her throbbing skull in her hands. "What happened to me?" She looked about with bloodshot eyes. "Where am I?" The place was familiar, but she couldn't remember who it belonged to. Maybe she should just lie back down for a little while? She did so and was instantly asleep.

"My head…" Myouga groaned. He sat up to find himself once again in a rice bowl full of tissues. A bleary glance to his left showed Sango passed out on the bed next the table on which sat his bowl. "What happened to me?" He wondered, but honestly couldn't remember a thing after Shippo started feeding him drops of Sango's drink. "That definitely wasn't sake." He decided the kitsune had played a cruel trick on him and Sango and resolved to get even…right after he got some more sleep.

Miroku and Yuki dozed contentedly in each other's arms in the next room, having spent most of the night making a shambles of the sheets. Shunusuke was sacked out on the living room couch. Shippo snored on one chair, Kagome slept peacefully in the other. Inu Yasha sulked on the porch, to which he'd been banished by his angry house mates, who hadn't appreciated him getting them all worked up over nothing. Before going to sleep, Kagome had written down her phone number for Inu Yasha and stuffed it in his pocket with stern instructions not to lose it this time. Now she felt sort of guilty for being so angry with him. After all, he'd only been trying to be responsible by calling to let her know he wouldn't be able to meet her back at the hotel. Her eyes opened a slit to peer through the glass door at Inu Yasha's back. He was curled up with the Tetsusaiga, as if expecting an attack at any moment, per usual.

Sigh. Kagome quietly slipped out of her chair and tip toed out onto the porch. Inu Yasha's head rested against the Tetsusaiga's hilt, his face tense, and his ears twitching. "Poor Inu Yasha," Kagome thought sadly, "even when you sleep you can't relax." She sat down beside him, lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. In a few moments, she was fast asleep.

Very slowly, Inu Yasha's expression softened, and his ears quit their nervous pivoting about.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Hisui was scheming over an omelet and green tea while Sesshomaru slept behind her in their bed. Well, she tried to scheme, but her thoughts kept wandering back to what Sesshomaru had said the night before. It was true that all of her children had human fathers. It made it easier to kill them if they got out of line. A full-blooded child could become a real threat, and she might actually feel bad about slaying a full demon offspring. Not like killing a half-blood. That was easy and completely guilt-free. She could squash Mikoto like a bug without a second thought, though she might hesitate with his son Shunusuke. That boy actually had promise.

Had Sesshomaru really been in love with her for centuries? How had she missed that? What an opportunity that would've been! He said it himself, he could never have defeated her in his youth. A union between them would've given her control of both the north and the west, with his adoring consent. Hm. Why did that thought put a bad taste in her mouth, she wondered and cast a surreptitious glance at her sleeping lover. How beautiful he was with his face relaxed and gentle. Could it really be that she'd fallen in love with this man she couldn't wrap around her finger? He sighed, his lips parting gently in sleep. Hisui couldn't resist him when he looked like that, so she abandoned her breakfast and snuggled back into bed.

* * *

Somewhere in Australia, a lone, black-furred fox lay curled in a hole under a Eucalyptus tree, shivering with the effort not to sob. This was easier to do in fox form than in human form, since a fox couldn't cry. It whined and sometimes howled or yipped, but it couldn't actually shed tears. Shinai's fluffy tail smacked his runny nose over and over again, unable to keep still with its owner so upset. Damn Hisui! Damn Sesshomaru! Damn his own peasant ancestry that kept Hisui Oukami forever out of reach. And what did he see in that selfish bitch, anyway? Hmph! She didn't deserve a great guy like him! Yeah, that was it. She deserved a stuck-up playboy like Sesshomaru. With such thoughts, Shinai tried in vain to convince himself to hate Hisui. It was only when a Kuala started sniffing around his hiding place that he was able to stop thinking about her long enough to snarl the bear into the branches. After the Kuala, he had to fight off a pack of Dingoes. Then that damn bird dropped guano onto his tail…

"On the one paw," thought Shinai as he swished his tail in a stream to wash off the bird poop, "this could be the universe trying to help me forget her by keeping me pissed off. On the other paw, the universe might just be having fun at my expense." He didn't have to ponder it long to decide which it was and raise his muzzle to the gray sky to curse the powers that be. That's when it started to rain.

"Oh yeah. I've been singled out for persecution. Definitely."

Suddenly a man in camouflage clothes and vest appeared on the other side of the stream and pointed a rifle at Shinai. "Oi, Mites! Over 'ere! Ain't 'e a beauty! Lookit that coat!" Two more men appeared behind the first man as he took aim at what he thought was an ordinary fox.

Shinai very briefly toyed with the idea of letting the stupid human shoot him, then self-preservation instinct took over and he transported himself out of there.

The hunters blinked at the empty air where once a fox had been. One of them pulled a bottle out of his vest pocket, gave the liquor a sour look and tossed the bottle into the stream. One after the other, his companions followed suit.

* * *

Back in Japan, Shinai's twin Tsurai was in a similar state of distress. He'd spent a sleepless night in a tree outside Yuki's bedroom, subjecting himself to the agonizing pain of watching her have another man over and over and over and… Now she lay there with a happy smile on her sleeping face, all curled up nice and cozy in his arms. Grrrrrr!

Tsurai shivered and slapped his nose with his tail, wondering why she would run to that priest when he himself was always ready and willing? Not that she'd ever seemed to like him very much. He pondered that for the zillionth time and wondered (again, for the zillionth time) what he lacked that Yuki wanted in a man. He had money, a prestigious position in her father's organization, good taste, good looks. What else did she want?

While thinking his miserable thoughts, Tsurai nodded off and fell out of the tree into the prickly embrace of a shrub. He disappeared with a painful yelp, thinking the universe must surely be out to get him.

* * *

By lunchtime, most everyone in the condo was mobile if not especially coherent. Inu Yasha and Kagome were walking on the beach, while Miroku and Yuki…um…continued to get to know each other better. Sango slouched at the kitchen table, her head in one hand, a mug of something Shunusuke called "coffee" in the other. It tasted terrible, even after he put "non-dairy creamer" and sugar in it. She dunked her finger into her mug and offered the droplet to Myouga, who sat by her elbow on the tabletop. He was doing a little better than she was, since his demon constitution enabled him to heal himself more quickly. She looked like hell and felt a few degrees worse. The "Tylenol" Shunusuke had given her wasn't even making a dent in her headache, since she'd thrown up the pills before they'd had a chance to get into her system. Shunusuke refused to give her more of them, which suited her just fine. She'd probably just throw up again, anyway.

"Here, try this," Shunusuke told her gently as he set a small glass filled with bubbling water in front of her. "It'll settle your stomach and help your head, too."

Sango nudged the glass close to her head and sniffed it. All she got for that was fizz up her nose and a sneezing fit, which only made her head hurt more. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Just drink it," Shunusuke insisted. He sat down next to her and tapped the lip of the glass. "It tastes terrible but it really works. Trust me, I speak from experience."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him and took a tiny test sip of the fizzy medicine. No kidding it tasted terrible! Ugh! "What is it?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's medicine. Drink it."

Sango debated whether or not to trust him after feeding her that nasty coffee stuff, decided he probably wouldn't poison her, closed her eyes and chugged the whole thing in four gulps. Much to her surprise, the fizzing actually felt good going down and even better once it hit her stomach. She licked the grit off her lips with a grimace and gave Shunusuke a weary look. "How long till it works?"

A shrug was not the response she was hoping for. "A few minutes, I guess. It depends on the person." He gave her an apologetic smile. "You're smaller than I am, so it shouldn't take as long to go through your system." Reaching under the table, he produced a blue bag with a lid on it from atop his thigh and offered it to her with a solicitous grin. "Ice pack?"

She took it from him with a sour look. "If you say so."

"Put it on your head."

"Oh." Sango did and felt much better.

Shunusuke produced an ice cube wrapped in a napkin for Myouga, who lay down with his head butted up against it and sighed. "What was in that drink?"

"You really don't want to know," Shunusuke told him.

All throughout this exchange, rhythmic creaking noises from Yuki's bedroom provided an annoying soundtrack. After a while, Sango, Myouga and Shunusuke found their heads nodding in time with it.

"Do they ever get tired?" Sango grumbled, trying very hard not to even think about what was causing the noise.

At the same time, Shunusuke grouched: "We really need to get a new box spring in there." After a few more minutes of bobbing to the noise, Shunusuke stormed over to the bedroom and pounded on the door. "Will you give it a rest?!"

Silence, then giggles, then the creaking started again in earnest. Shunusuke threw up his hands in disgust and returned to the kitchen. "We could sit on the porch," he suggested, "the fresh air might be good for your head."

Sango and Myouga agreed, so the trio adjourned to the porch.

* * *

Kagome and Inu Yasha strolled hand-in-hand down the beach, cooling their bare feet at the water's edge and saying nothing. It was enough just to be together in the sunshine, like a couple of ordinary teenagers enjoying their summer holiday at the seashore. Nasty things like Hisui, Sesshomaru, the Jewel and Naraku faded away, as if they'd only been a bad dream. All there was was the sea, the sun and each other.

Then the universe realized it was slacking off and got back to the business of messing up Inu Yasha's life.

"There he is!"

"Ahhhhh! He's so gorgeous!"

"Get him!"

Inu Yasha's eyes bugged at the approaching mob of teenage girls. He spun about to find even more rabid groupies heading his way. Kagome balled her fists and readied herself for a good, old fashioned, knock down, drag out catfight, but Inu Yasha hoisted her onto his back and took to the air. They flew to the hotel and alighted on Kagome's balcony. "Hurry up and open the door!" Inu Yasha urged Kagome in a panic.

She yanked open the sliding door, then slammed it shut and locked it behind them. "Good thing I forgot to lock it up," she panted.

Inu Yasha nodded as he flopped onto the bed with relief. "What's their problem, Kagome?" He snarled. "You never act like—hey, wait a minute!" Inu Yasha sat up with a jolt of realization. "How come you never act like that about me, huh? You never say I'm gorgeous or have a killer ass or anything!"

Kagome was dubious. "You mean you want me to screech at you and chase you around all the time like a total idiot?"

He frowned at her. "You don't think I'm gorgeous, do you?"

SIGH. Kagome sat down facing him on the bed and gave him a hard look. "How can you even ask me that, after everything that's happened between us this week?"

His ears drooped as he lay down and stared at the ceiling. "You don't, do you?"

"Oh for crying out loud, Inu Yasha!" Kagome snorted. "Of course I do!" She lay down next to him and squeezed his hand. "I thought you were cute the first time I saw you, when you were still under Kikyou's enchantment." She snickered. "Then you woke up and started acting like a jerk."

He let go of her hand, rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow so he could look into her face. She blushed. He blushed. "I think…you're really beautiful, too," Inu Yasha gulped. He brushed her hair away from her face, then trailed his fingertips down her cheek, along her jawbone and down her throat.

Kagome shivered as goosebumps sprang up on her neck at his touch. She closed her eyes and sighed when he ran a gentle claw over her collarbone. Then the hand went back to her hair as his body pressed against hers, and he kissed her.

Undaunted by this return to happiness in Inu Yasha's life, the universe worked another bit of mojo to steer things back down the dark path of annoyance.  
Inu Yasha and Kagome smelled wet dog just as the cold shower hit them. They jumped with startled yelps to find a black fox shaking water out of its fur at the foot of the bed. "What the fuck?!" Inu Yasha jumped at the beast, which leaped nimbly onto the floor, then the dresser, then atop the TV, leaving Inu Yasha flat on his stomach, grabbing air.

The fox regarded them with twinkling gold eyes and its tongue lolling out mockingly. "I need your help," it told them as it plopped onto its butt and wrapped its tail about its legs.

Inu Yasha and Kagome stared at it for a second before the truth sank in. "Kitsune!" They exclaimed at the same time, then frowned and exchanged worried looks. Then they returned their gazes to the fox.

"Tsurai?" Inu Yasha asked. The fox shook its head.

Kagome groaned. "Not Shinai…"

The fox nodded. "In the fur! Look, I know we sort of got off to a bad start, but I think we can help each other out—"

"Yeah, right!" Kagome snorted as Inu Yasha jumped off the bed and made another snatch at Shinnai, who disappeared then reappeared by the glass door leading to the balcony.

He sat up on his haunches, held up his front paws in a very humanlike placating gesture and hurried to explain: "We both have a problem with Hisui! I can help you solve yours, if you'll help me solve mine!"

Inu Yasha dove at him again, and again the wily kitsune evaded him. "It would involved getting rid of Sesshomaru!" He yipped, and his attacker froze.

"Define 'getting rid of'," Inu Yasha asked cautiously. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and Shinai returned to the top of the TV.

Kagome pressed herself against Inu Yasha's back and commented dryly: "He means kill him."

Shinai raised a paw. "Not necessarily, attractive though I find the idea of croaking Pretty Boy."

"You and me both," Inu Yasha seconded, then realized he was agreeing with Hisui's personal bodyguard and jerked his mouth back into a frown.

"Killing him would destabilize the Western Lands," Shinai explained. "That would be bad."

Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes. "But that would leave a big hole for Hisui to fill, wouldn't it?" He snorted: "I knew it: You're just doing this to help her get control of my father's—"

"Nonononono!" Shinai shook his head emphatically. "Hisui having control of both the North and the West would be even worse than having nobody in control of the West! Even I can see that, and I'm in lo—er, I work for her."

Kagome and Inu Yasha exchanged knowing looks. Things were getting a lot clearer. "So," Inu Yasha yawned, "you want my brother out of the way so you can have Hisui for yourself. Is that it?"

Shinai's ears and tail drooped and he looked away from them out the glass doors. "Even with Sesshomaru out of the picture," he confessed sadly, "she wouldn't turn to me. I just think she deserves better than that bastard."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "I think they're perfect for each other," she smirked. "They're both conceited, shallow and think they're better than everybody else. They deserve each other."

"I wouldn't wish Hisui on anybody," Inu Yasha added, "not even my asshole brother." He crossed his arms and gave Shinnai a cold glare. "You're full of shit. I know you're just here to spy on us for Hisui."

Shinnai's fur bristled. "Do you want to get Shunusuke in here to read my mind, or something?"

"He's her grandson," Inu Yasha reminded him flatly, "and he's already lied to us once."

That seemed to come as a complete surprise to Shinai, who's jaw clamped shut with a snap, then dropped back open again in astonishment. "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes lied?" Again with the mocking tongue wagging. "He'll probably do penance for it for a month! He's such a wuss!"

Shunusuke Asano might have lied to him, but nothing he'd seen of the man so far could convince Inu Yasha that Shunusuke was a wuss. Even if he was a raging peacenik, he wasn't wussy. "So why are you here, anyway?"

Shinai grinned a foxy grin. "To help you beat Hisui at her own little mind games!"

"In exchange for helping you get rid of the competition," Inu Yasha frowned. "You still haven't said what you meant by 'getting rid of' Sesshomaru."

"Why, I want to break him and Hisui up, of course."

"And I should care because…?"

With an angry swoosh of his bushy tail, Shinai snarled: "Because Sesshomaru's and arrogant asshole, and you hate his guts. You spite Pretty Boy and I spite Hisui. It's a win-win deal for both of us."

Inu Yasha looked at Kagome, who shook her head slowly. "I don't care who my brother's fucking," he told Shinai coldly, "but I do care what happens to me, my friends and Kagome's family. Make it so her family's safe—and tell us how you're gonna do that, in detail—and I'll think about helping you."

"I don't care about her fam—"

"No family safety, no deal," Kagome growled. When Shinai remained stubborn, she added meaningfully: "And we tell Hisui all about this little conversation."

"Hey! Your family is my family!" Shinai exclaimed with false brightness, then got serious. "I'll see what I can do and get back to you…say, this evening after dinner? Same place?"

Kagome held up a finger. "Give us a moment, please." She and Inu Yasha put their heads together and discussed the matter in a serious of head shakes and angry grunts. When they broke their huddle, Kagome declared: "Ok, right here after dinner—"

"But we're not promising anything!" Inu Yasha cut in with a nasty snarl.

Shinai chuckled self-consciously. "No, no, of course not! But I think you'll like my offer." With that, he jumped off the TV and disappeared before he even hit the floor.

"Freak," Inu Yasha muttered. "I hate it when he does that."


	22. Chapter 22

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter 22

Inu Yasha and Kagome blinked at the top of the television where Shinai had sat a moment before, proposing a plan that would surely get him killed: Breaking up Hisui and Sesshomaru. What was it that the bizarre kitsune and Sesshomaru saw in that woman? Inu Yasha scratched his head, unable to think of a single redeeming quality about Hisui Oukami outside of her obvious good looks and expensive taste. Oh, and that habit of choosing human daddies for her children. Inu Yasha was none too pleased with his own heritage, so he couldn't imagine why any demon (even his own father) would consciously choose a mortal over a youkai. As far as he was concerned, Hisui and Sesshomaru were the perfect couple. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

"He's crazy," Kagome snorted, startling Inu Yasha out of his musings as she crawled higher onto the bed. She lay her head on a pillow and watched the play of shadows on the ceiling as clouds passed in front of the sun. "I don't think we should get involved. If either of them finds out we had anything to do with it, we're dead, too."

Inu Yasha had more confidence in his own fighting abilities than that. He lay down next to Kagome with his head on the other pillow and watched shadows with her. "I'm more worried about Hisui than Sesshomaru," he said. His brother had yet to win a fight with him, but Hisui Oukami had a much deadlier reputation. It made him wonder all over again why Hisui hadn't made a more direct move against them to take possession of the jewel shards. This coyness just didn't seem in character to him, but he didn't know her very well, either (not that he was complaining, or anything). Maybe this kind of behavior was normal for her.

Hmmm….

What if this whole thing with Shinai was just bullshit, and the annoying little furball was really working with Hisui, not against her? Messing with his mind on yet another level. Oh, that would just figure! Sesshomaru was probably in on it, too, like when he tried to make them believe he got that jewel shard out of Hisui's—

Kagome snuggled up to him and gave his ear an affectionate nibble, turning every last thought in Inu Yasha's head into gobbledygook. "Hell with Shinai," he thought happily and caught Kagome's lips with his in a warm kiss. After a while of that, his hands started to roam down her sides and over her hips and back again. He tangled his fingers in her hair as their kisses became more urgent, and their arms squeezed more tightly about each other, pressing their bodies together in a most exciting way.

Inu Yasha's ears swiveled around, listening for intruders. This would be about the right moment for Shinai to pop in again, or Sesshomaru to land on the balcony, or Rei to knock on the door, wanting Kagome to go to the beach. As Kagome's fingernails dug into his back, he found his mind wandering away from what he was doing and concerning itself more with waiting for the proverbial hammer to fall. Things didn't go well for him for this long without something really bad or annoying happening to break it up. This was just too much. The uncertainty was driving him crazy. At last, he shoved Kagome away from him, shook his angry fists at the ceiling and shouted:

"AUGH! JUST GET IT OVER WITH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Kagome gaped at him.

He gulped. "Um…this is usually where…you know, somebody interrupts us…" he stammered with a mighty blush. "I was…um…yelling at the…uh…"

"Inu Yasha?"

Gulp. "Please don't say 'sit', Kagome," he begged, and tears sprang into his eyes. "Please?"

She smiled and ran a teasing finger along his jaw. "I wasn't going to say that," she purred and drew him closer with just that one, delicate finger.

He blinked. "Y-y-you're sure?"

Kagome nodded and kissed him. "Positive."

"Good."

They lay back down on the bed to cuddle some more only to find a black fox camped out between their pillows. It licked its chops and growled under its breath, fuzzy ears laid back against its skull. "Kids these days," it sighed in an irritated voice. "You think of nothing but sex. Disgusting. And with a human, no less." It bent its muzzle to casually lick a paw. "Hm. Like father like son, it would seem."

Kagome and Inu Yasha exchanged infuriated looks. "SEE?! I told you!"

They glared at the fox. "Shinai?" Kagome asked cautiously. It gave her a dirty look. "Oh. Usagi."

"That's 'Tsurai-Shi', human!" He corrected her through bared teeth.

Kagome tossed her hair with an indignant "hmph!" and turned her back on the irritating bodyguard. That was Inu Yasha's cue to take over, which he did in the usual way: He took a swing at the beast. Tsurai easily avoided his claws by disappearing then reappearing atop the TV (which seemed to be prime kitsune real estate that afternoon). The furious dog-demon elected not to waste his energy this time and settled for exchanging dirty looks with Tsurai across the room.

"Don't tell me, let me guess," Kagome sighed, "you want us to help you break up Hisui and Sesshomaru."

Tsurai favored her with a doggy grin and gave his tail an annoyed swish. "Why on earth would I want to do that? Hisui always turns to my brother when she's on the rebound, and I won't allow him to go through that pain again." He hopped off the TV and was in his human-like form by the time his feet hit the carpet.

Same expensive-looking dark suit and perfect hair, Inu Yasha and Kagome noted sourly. "Doesn't this guy ever relax?" Inu Yasha wondered.

Tsurai's tail whipped his legs as he continued: "I know my brother came here to ask you to help him split up Hisui and Sesshomaru. I'm here to advise you against that course of action."

"Don't worry," Inu Yasha snorted, "we have no intention of helping him."

Tsurai cocked his head with a disbelieving smirk. "Oh? Not even to save Kagome's family?" He waved a long-fingered hand at Kagome, whose expression went dangerously dark.

"What are you suggesting, you mutt?" Kagome hissed. "That you'll hurt my family if we do help Shinai?"

The kitsune merely smirked. "Give it some thought," he advised, then disappeared.

For a few moments, all they could do was stare at the spot where Mikoto's creepy body guard had stood, then Kagome commented: "It's hard to believe they're part of the same race as Shippo."

Inu Yasha nodded. After a little while longer, he asked mischievously: "Do you think it's safe for us to try kissing again?"

"Um…I don't think we should risk it," Kagome joked, "we might get Sesshomaru."

* * *

Back at the condo, Shunusuke was ingratiating himself into Sango's good graces by giving her head a nice shiatsu massage, while Shippo dozed belly up in a puddle of sunshine beside them on the porch. Myouga dozed on the kitsune's chest, his tiny snores alternating with Shippo's louder ones. Inside, Yuki and Miroku had at last exhausted themselves and were snoozing in the bedroom.

* * *

At the Higurashi shrine, meanwhile, things weren't quite so peaceful…

"Take your hands off my grandson, or I'll slap you with an ancient and deadly curse, handed down through generations of keepers at this shrine!"

The Oni woman stuck out her forked tongue at Gramps and continued tossing Sota up in the air like a beach ball. The little boy's sobs only made her and the other four Oni guards laugh more heartily. "Curse _this_!" She made an obscene gesture at the old man.

Gramps whipped out a small piece of paper with two characters on it and waved it before his face with a triumphant "HA!" Then he leapt at the Oni and plastered the curse to the hand making the nasty gesture and jumped out of the way to enjoy the fruits of his potent, priestly magic.

The Oni tossed Sota high into the air, pealed off the curse, blew her nose in it, threw it at Gramps, then stuck out her hand to casually catch Sota, who landed on her broad palm with a plop and a startled yelp.

Gramps burst into tears. His daughter put her arm around him in a vain attempt to comfort him, though experience had taught her not to expect success from her father's so-called magic powers.

"Oooh," the Oni mocked, "I'm sooooo scared!"

* * *

Hisui cuddled up to Sesshomaru with her head on the demon lord's bare chest and drank in his musky scent with a besotted sigh. One of her hands caressed his chiseled pectorals as she monitored the amusing activities of the kitsune twins with her telepathic powers. So, Shinai was lonely again, was he? Well, he'd just have to stay that way, she thought with a smug grin, because she had no intention of leaving Sesshomaru—ever. He was perfect, wonderful, fabulous, sexy, rich…everything she'd ever wanted in a man. And hell if a kitsune peasant was going to split them up. Hisui smiled. Tsurai's desire to keep his brother's fragile, little heart from harm just begged to be exploited. Of course, each brother had sought to involve Inu Yasha and his girlfriend, so she'd have to use those pawns, as well. Hm…but how? She decided to sleep on the matter, kissed her lover's chest and closed her eyes with a contented sigh.

* * *

Sango and Shunusuke were now fast asleep in a sunbeam. Shunusuke sat with his back against the railing and Sango's head on his thigh. Shinai watched the cozy scene from one tree while his brother watched it from another. Then both foxes jumped down onto the rail and noticed each other for the first time. Their fur bristled on their arched backs as they snarled at each other, nose to nose.

"Stay out of my affairs, Usagi," Shinai growled.

"I won't let you get hurt again," Tsurai growled back.

"That's my business!"

"You're my brother!" Tsurai barked and slapped his flank with his tail. "She'll only use you again and break your heart! Remember what happened last time?"  
Shinai flattened his ears, but his tail drooped. He remembered, alright. All those terrible names she'd called him…all those insults to his family, his wardrobe, even his sexual ability. Why did he let her do that to him over and over again? He realized he was whining and broke it off with a cough and a pert swat of his tail. "That was a long time ago."

Tsurai rolled his eyes. "But it happens every time! She's happy, brother, doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"'Happy', my ass!"

"Open your eyes for once, you furry git!" Tsurai swiped at him, but Shinai hopped backwards out of the way. "If you really loved her, you'd be happy she's finally found true love."

"No, she hasn't," Shinai argued in a hurt voice. "She just thinks she has. How can she possibly love a bastard like Sesshomaru?" How could anybody, for that matter, but Shinai kept that thought to himself.

His brother crept close and licked Shinai's muzzle until the angry kitsune relaxed and let himself be groomed. "Don't belittle yourself, brother," Tsurai whined as he gently licked his brother's fur. "Leave her be. Who knows? Maybe she'll get bored with this one, too."

Shinai sighed and backed out from under Tsurai's attentions. "I won't wait this time, brother," he declared firmly. "I'm tired of being her back-up boy."

"Moron," Tsurai muttered, and got his muzzle swatted for it.

"Look who's talking!" Shinai scolded him. "How can you tell me not to 'belittle' myself, when you make an ass of yourself everyday for that whore Yuki Asano? She sleeps with anything that moves!"

Tsurai swiped at him with a furious growl, but his brother once again leapt nimbly out of the way and quipped: "Except for you, of course! Maybe you should try being yourself, brother-dearest? Oh, but then you'd really be a loser, wouldn't you? A geek in an expensive suite! Heehee!"

Tsurai raised a paw to attack Shinai again, but changed his mind. "Brother," he sighed and shook his head, "you are such an asshole." Then he disappeared.

Shinai gave Shunusuke and Sango one last envious look, then he disappeared, too. When they were gone, Shunusuke smirked. Inu Yasha would never be stupid enough to go along with Shinai's crazy plan, no matter what the incentive. Shunusuke had seen the incentive in question in Shinai's mind but he was no fool. He was sure the brothers' little argument had been staged solely for his benefit. Ah, but had it been done to force him to get involved, or because they expected him to think that's what they wanted and do the opposite? Curiouser and curiouser…

Inside the condo, Yuki and Miroku were bathing each other and contemplating doing the do right there on the bathroom floor. **(At this point I remember wondering why they weren't sore as hell. -GreyAncient)**

* * *

At an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Australia, a man in hunter's camouflage wandered into the room, up the aisle between the chairs, ascended the stairs to the stage and gently pushed the current speaker aside. The man took one look at him and decided not to get bent out of shape over this breach of AA etiquette. The hunter took a deep breath and confessed:

"Hi, my name's Dave, and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Dave!"

"I knew I had a problem when me an me mates was out huntin' and saw this little black fox disappear into thin air—"

Shinai popped in atop the podium between Dave and the group, tickled the hunter's nose with his tail, jumped around from lap to lap in the front row, returned to the podium, looked Dave straight in the eyes and said: "It wasn't the sauce, Dave!" Then he jumped off the podium and disappeared.

Dave the hunter fainted dead away.

Shinai reappeared in human form at a table on the back deck of the Green Mermaid just in time to flag down a waiter and order a tall, cool drink. He laced his hands behind his head and sighed with an ear-to-ear grin: "That felt good!"

He gazed out upon the beach, at all the tan teenagers and beyond them to breakers. "Lame curls," he thought in disappointment. There was a reason he spent so much time Down Under: Better waves for surfing. Japan didn't have the surf that places like Australia and Hawaii did.

Hm. Maybe Usagi was right for once, and he should just abandon all hope of ever winning over Hisui Oukami. She was kind of a manipulative bitch, really, and for all those times she treated him badly, she deserved to have her "perfect" relationship busted up. Maybe he'd seduce Yuki, too, just to spite his brother. That'd teach Usagi to meddle in his business. Shinai grimaced at the thought of bedding Yuki Asano and quickly abandoned plans to seduce her. She was beautiful but what a slut! Who knows what diseases a bed-hopper like her was hauling around? Humans were so susceptible to that sort of thing. Usagi could do better than his boss' daughter. (Of course, he could do better than Hisui…)

It took Shinai a second to realize someone else was sitting at his table. He stared at her for a moment, hoping his expression would give her the hint to shove off. Then he realized she was one of his own kind…then that she was one of Mikoto Asano's employees…and the scowl turned into a forced smile. He recognized her now: Gin, known for her skills with poisons. Shinai made a note to keep his drink in his hand and in view at all times.

"Relax, surfer boy," she drawled with a smug upturn of her lip, "I come in peace," she made a peace sign with her fingers, and he couldn't keep the grin off his face.

Shinai sipped his barley tea, his golden eyes sparkling at her over the rim of the glass. "Uh-huh. Mikoto never sends any of his flunkies anywhere 'in peace'. What do you want?"

"'Flunkies'?" She gasped in mock offense. "Why, Shinai, that was cruel. After all, you're a 'flunky', too," she winked, "but I'd take my boss over your boss any day, you poor hippie."

"Why…are…you…here?"

She flagged down a waiter and ordered a barley tea for herself, then turned a dazzling smile on Hisui head bodyguard. He noticed that she was wearing a bikini wet suit, and that the zipper was pulled down rather low, giving him a splendid view of her well-tanned flesh. A shark's tooth hung about her neck on a thin, leather cord, and she had three coral studs in each ear. On her left shoulder was a Maori tattoo. She wore her pale, silvery hair in a braid.

"I have a message for you from my boss," Gin told him. Her voice was casual, but her eyes were hard and sharp as glass. "Leave Hisui and Sesshomaru alone."

Shinai snorted his opinion of that. "You can't tell me Mikoto approves of this match."

She grinned, showing a mouthful of very sharp little teeth. "Not really. The warning is to protect you. She knows about your plan, you know, and you'll only upset the delicate balance Mikoto has worked so hard to achieve here. I've been assigned to watch you, Handsome," she pointed a claw at him and her grin got even wider. "From here on out, I'm on you like a tan on a surfer."

Shinai sipped his tea. "I'm so intimidated…" he muttered, then realized she was already gone. "This sucks."


	23. Chapter 23

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Twenty Three

Sango awoke from her nap with an embarrassed jolt and hastened to put distance between herself and Shunusuke. How on earth had her head gotten on his thigh?! Oh yeah. She put it there. BLUSH. She hazarded a shy peek at his face only to discover with a horrified lump in her throat that he was awake and looking at her.

"How's that headache?" He asked solicitously before she died of embarrassment.

Sango blushed some more as she brushed her hair behind her ears and tried not to meet his eyes. Gods he was handsome—and such a nice guy. "It's gone now. I feel much better now…thanks…um, how are you?" AUGH! That sounded so stupid! Her flush deepened, and Sango turned her attention to Shippo and Myouga, who still dozed at the other end of the porch.

Shunusuke tried not to smile at her mortification but failed horribly. "I'm good, thanks." He realized how idiotic that sounded and quickly changed the subject. "So! Think it's safe to go back inside?"

Sango groaned. "What's your sister's problem, anyway? I know what Miroku's is: He's a pervert. But Yuki seemed really nice."

Shunusuke frowned at her. "Yuki is nice…"

"She's a slut," Sango told him bluntly, then seemed to remember all of a sudden that she was talking to the girl's brother and tried backpedal. "I—I mean, she's, well…" she hung her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about your sister like that."

He sighed heavily and slouched a little lower against the condo wall. "You're not the first to call her that," he confessed quietly. He massaged his palm nervously and wouldn't look at her. "Yuki…really likes men. A lot."

Sango snorted: "I guess she and Miroku really are made for each other, then."

Shunusuke shrugged. "I worry about her. She could get diseases, or pregnant…"

"Doesn't she respect herself at all?" Sango asked incredulously.

Her sharp tone made Shunusuke flinch. He'd wondered the same thing himself many times and had even talked to Yuki about it once or twice, but she always got angry and told him it was her life and her body and she could whatever she wanted with them. The truth was in her mind, though: Yuki was painfully lonely, which utterly mystified him. She had dozens of friends, an attentive family, made good grades, was pretty and popular. He didn't understand why she felt so isolated.

"I—I'm sorry," Sango apologized in a small voice, "it's none of my business what she does. After all, she's a grown woman, isn't she?"

"Actually, she's only seventeen."

Sango looked confused. "Isn't that an adult?"

They stared at each other in puzzlement for a few moments, then Shunusuke chuckled. "I think people grow up faster in your time than in mine. People here don't usually even consider getting married until they're out of high school, at least."

"'High school'?" Yuki repeated slowly. "Is that where Kagome has tests?"

Huh? How did she know the English word for tests? Oh! Kagome! Why didn't the girl just use the Japanese word when talking to these people from the past? Probably wasn't thinking. He translated the word for Sango, then explained: "Kagome's in junior high school. That's a level below high school. It's about time for her to be taking tests to get into high school, though. Is that what she tells you? She has to take tests?"

The demon hunter nodded. "I thought my life was complicated. Do your people spend all of their lives in school?"

He laughed. "It sure feels that way!"

"Are you in school, too?"

"University," Shunusuke nodded, then anticipated her next question: "It's where you go after high school. Not everybody goes on to university, but many people do. In our world, you need to be well-educated in order to get a good job and be able to support yourself and your family. So…we go to school to learn to read and write and to learn math, science, literature, art, athletics—anything we might need to know to function in society."

Sango got up and stretched, then commented with a grin: "Sounds like you have a rough life!"

He shook his head as he rose and opened the door. "No, not really. Life's not as hard now as it is in your time. We live better, I'm told, and longer."

That killed her mirth in a snap. "Really?" She followed him into the condo and shut the door behind them. "I've only seen a little of your world: Here and that city, Tokyo. Well, not much of Tokyo, actually," she admitted then brightened. "It's the biggest city I've ever seen! I couldn't believe how many people there were—and those machines…um…cars! It was amazing!" She pinched her nose. "And smelly, too, but cities are smelly where I come from, only it's a different kind of smell. Is everybody here rich?"

Shunusuke put a kettle on to brew them some tea. Sango leaned with her elbows on the counter on the living room side and kept the questions coming. "What's school like? Do you like it? Were all those people in Tokyo going to school or work? I didn't see any farms, or anything. What do all those people do?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down!" Shunusuke turned around and leaned his back against the counter. He was about to say something else but the words died in his throat as the force of her unguarded feelings hit him full force. Loneliness, isolation. She was trying hard to be cheerful, but she was really afraid of his alien world. Her smile was genuine enough, but her eyes betrayed her.

He hesitated too long and got caught. Her smile faded. "What's wrong?"

Blink. "Oh! Uh, nothing, I was just thinking about, uh, how I'd explain it all," he lied and laughed to cover his awkwardness. "And also…" he gave her an uncertain little smile and ran his hand through his hair, "well, you're really beautiful when you smile like that."

Her expression darkened.

"I didn't mean it as a come on!" Shunusuke stammered, waving his hands between them in a hurried attempt to calm her down before she lumped him into the same category as Miroku and Yuki. "It was just a compliment. It's just…well, it's just the truth! A man can tell a woman she's beautiful without meaning something else—"

She smiled and cocked her head to the side in a very cute way that made him forget where he was going with that explanation.

"…um…uh…what was I saying?"

"Kettle's boiling."

"Right. The kettle's boiling, and you shouldn't take that to mean—yipe!" The kettle's whistle startled him, and he jumped to pull it off the burner and turn off the stove.

Sango giggled. Men could be so weird.

* * *

And speaking of weird men, Miroku was sunning himself on the beach in a pair of Shunusuke's swim trunks, watching the girls go by, his eyes hidden by dark sunglasses. Yuki tanned on her belly beside him in a tiny g-string bikini with the top off so her back wouldn't get funny tan lines. Frankly, the priest had never felt so content and fulfilled in his life. The only thing spoiling it was his curse. He held up his right arm to grimace at the sheath and prayer beads that kept the air rip from opening up and sucking in everything in range.

And killing him in the process.

Miroku squeezed his eyes shut against the sting of tears and took a deep, calming breath. He finally found the girl of his dreams, and if he failed to kill Naraku before the year was out the air rip would suck him in to his death before he could really enjoy—

"Hmph. Enjoy what, you stupid asshole?" He asked himself bitterly. She was from another time! Her world was so different from his, more advanced he supposed. The people all seemed to have money and expensive things and time to enjoy life. Where he came from, the people he was seeing on this beach would be too busy breaking their backs in the fields to pad some shogun's coffers to play in the surf and go to parties. Why would Yuki want to leave a world like this to be the wife of a humble priest who could only offer her his undying affection and a roof over her head? Here she could have water by turning a handle, keep food for days in a cold box, be entertained by pointing a little box at glass screen and get from place to place in a matter of minutes in a magical carriage. And she came from a wealthy, important family, too. Who was he to think a girl like that would give it all up to be with a guy like him?  
Or he could come here and live with her in her world. Would her family accept him? Certainly not after the time he was spending fighting them. He groaned inwardly at the thought of trying to win Yuki's hand from the Great Demon of the Northern Lands (surely Hisui would want a say in her granddaughter's marriage plans). He didn't relish the idea of approaching Yuki's daddy about it, either. All things considered, the only nice people in Yuki's family seemed to be Yuki and Shunusuke.

What if Yuki didn't want to get married at all? Not to him or anybody? Sigh. Well, even if she did, Miroku reasoned sadly, she'd be better matched with someone from her own social class than with him. No, her family would never consent to their union. That said, he'd already ruined her for anybody else, so what did he have to lose? He was dead anyway, thanks to Naraku's bloody air rip curse. All Hisui and Mikoto could do was kill him—big deal. And why hadn't Shunusuke done anything more than pound on the bedroom door? He was her brother, after all!

"Gods, I'm scum," Miroku lamented. Here he was so concerned about the recovery of Yuki's honor when he was the one who'd smeared it in the first place. Of course, it wasn't as if she'd been unwilling…or hard to seduce… Come to think of it, she'd seduced him. She really seemed to know what she was doing, too—not at all like a virgin. "I wasn't her first?" He cast a suspicious glance at Yuki's peacefully sleeping face and his heart melted. She really was very beautiful. It shouldn't surprise him that she'd caught the eye of other men, and the other way around. She certainly was independent, and women in this time did seem much less…modest…than they were in his time. He watched a group of bikini-clad girls bounce a little white ball over a net, all of them smiling and giggling and not in the least bit embarrassed to be showing so much skin in public. Yes, indeed: Kagome's world was as close to paradise as he was ever going to get.

He rolled onto his stomach and rested his head on his hands so he could look at Yuki's face. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself, thinking about marriage. After all, he'd only known Yuki for a few days. She'd probably just forget about him when this fight was over, and it was time for him to go home. Not liking that thought very much, Miroku closed his eyes and imagined Yuki marrying him and bearing his children instead.

He'd just gotten to the part where his grandchildren were toddling about at his feet when a shadow fell over him, and the chill of a youkai nearby made him shiver. Both he and Yuki looked up with a paranoid start to find Inu Yasha and Kagome standing over them, looking rather annoyed.

"Get off your lazy ass, Priest," Inu Yasha barked, "we got a new problem."

Kagome smacked his arm with an impatient frown for his bad manners, then returned her attention to the sunbathers just in time for Yuki to start searching for her bikini top, leaving her breasts bare to the world. The boys' eyes bugged out of their skulls, Inu Yasha turned bright red and turned his back on Yuki while she covered herself. Kagome rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to kick sand at Yuki for being so shameless. Yuki noticed their reactions and gave them an innocent look as she hooked her top: "What? You guys act like you've never seen breasts before!"

Inu Yasha trembled with rage and mortification. "I HAVEN'T!"

"Oops," Yuki giggled, "sorry, Inu Yasha."

"What about that time you caught me bath—" Kagome started, but Inu Yasha didn't hear her.

He spun around and kicked sand at Yuki. "Sorry THIS, bitch!"

Yuki snarled as she brushed sand off of herself and reached for a bottle of sunblock to throw at Inu Yasha, but Miroku beat her to it. He lobbed the bottle at the demon's head with a pert chastisement for being rude to "a lady". Inu Yasha found that title absolutely hysterical, and soon the two men were shouting in each other's faces about the quality of Yuki's character. That pissed off Yuki, who jumped up to try and out shout the boys. Kagome screamed for them all to just forget about that and focus on a real problem, but nobody paid any attention to her, so she stomped off toward the condo with an angry: "I'll be talking to sensible people if anybody needs me!"

The combatants caught up to her after she'd stalked several yards. Inu Yasha ran ahead and trotted backwards so he could look at her when he demanded: "What's your problem?"

"Don't talk to Kagome like that!" Miroku snapped from his place on Kagome's right.

From Kagome's left, Yuki added: "Yeah!"

Kagome threw up her arms with an irritated huff. "Inu Yasha, you're gonna bump into something if you keep running backward like that."

He looked over his shoulder too late to see the volleyball that rolled into his path and he went down with a painful yelp. A big, buff guy collected the ball with an apologetic smile. "You ok, man? Hey! You're that demon dog guy!" He offered Inu Yasha his hand, but the demon got up without help and gave the boy a curt nod.

"Yeah, that's me," Inu Yasha grunted at him. He snatched the ball out of the boy's hands and threw it to the other volleyball players who smoothly batted it into play.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Inu Yasha, you are quite possibly the rudest person I have ever known!" She bowed to the boy and apologized for her companion's attitude problem. "Please forgive him. He's a demon and can't help himself."

Muscle-boy grinned at Inu Yasha and said: "Cool!" Then went back to his volleyball game.

Inu Yasha gave Kagome a smug look, but before he could open his mouth, she reached out and flipped his rosary necklace, a subtle hint to shut up or get the Sit treatment. He shut up.

Kagome smirked to herself and resumed her determined trek to the condo where she hoped to find Sango at the very least but hopefully Shunusuke, Shippo and Myouga as well. After a moment, Inu Yasha and the others started after her.

"So what's the big deal?" Yuki asked as she caught up to Kagome. One look at the expression on Kagome's face, and Yuki's tone changed dramatically to one of deepest worry. "What did my father do?"

"Not your dad," Kagome corrected her, "Shinai and Tsurai."

Yuki was puzzled. "What did they do?"

"Shinnai wants us to help him split up Sesshomaru and Hisui," Inu Yasha explained sourly. "Tsurai wants us to leave them alone. Shinnai says he'll protect Kagome's family if we help him, Tsurai says he'll hurt Kagome's family if we help Shinai."

Yuki grinned. "Well, I can solve your Tsurai problem pretty easily."

They all stopped short to gape at Yuki. "You can?!" Kagome exclaimed in disbelief. "How?"

Yuki flipped her hair and gave them a sexy look. "He's crazy about me. All I have to do is seduce him, and he'll do anything I ask!"

Miroku choked.

Kagome's eyes narrowed, and she growled under her breath: "I can't believe you just said that in front of Miroku…"

"You bitch…" Inu Yasha added.

Yuki looked in confusion at the devastated Miroku for a few seconds, then seemed to realize what she'd done. "Oh! Nononono! That's not what I meant! I didn't mean get him bed, I just meant make him think I would sleep with him…you know, string him along. He does anything I ask him to when I get like that."  
Miroku's face fell even more, while Kagome's and Inu Yasha's expressions got darker and darker as they glared at Yuki. "That is so cruel," Kagome breathed in horror. She couldn't even imagine toying with a man's emotions like that. Especially not…sexually. She was actually feeling a little sorry for Tsurai—and very much sorry for poor Miroku, who looked like he'd been hit.

Yuki shifted her feet uncomfortably. "Did I say something wrong?"

GAWK!

"Did you say something—" Inu Yasha sputtered.

"—wrong?!" Kagome finished.

"YOU ARE SUCH A SLUT!" Inu Yasha roared. He threw his arm around Miroku's shoulders in a big show of male solidarity. "You spend all night in Miroku's arms, then turn around and talk about sleeping with some other guy!"

"Right in front of him!" Kagome shrieked in Yuki's face. She shook the other girl by her bikini straps. "What kind of a girl are you?!"

Everything stopped when Miroku shouted: "STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Then more quietly: "Let her go, Kagome."

Kagome let go in shock. "B-but, Miroku—"

"It's just the way she is," he explained in a tight voice and roughly shook Inu Yasha's arm off his shoulder. "I'm the same way, so I guess we're made for each other."

Yuki bit her knuckles and looked like she might cry. Then with a delighted sob, she threw her arms around Miroku and covered his neck with happy kisses. His arms went around her, and the two of them clung to each other and wept for joy at finding other people who actually understood them.

Inu Yasha and Kagome were now totally confused.

* * *

Later…

"Miroku," Kagome warned with a nasty glare, "don't make me say it…"

The priest cowered on the couch, clutching Yuki's hand. Around his neck was a rosary that looked a lot like the one Inu Yasha wore. It was the fruits of an experiment Kagome had been wanting to try for some time. Yuki had one just like it.

"You and Yuki will stay right here and behave yourselves while we figure out what to do about those stupid kitsune!" Kagome wagged a threatening finger at the two lovebirds. "Or I'll say The Word."

Miroku and Yuki gulped and nodded obediently.

Sango gave Kagome a teasing elbow in the ribs and joked: "Why didn't you think of this sooner, Kagome?"

Kagome shrugged. "I wasn't sure it would work."

Inu Yasha slouched in a chair, not daring to gloat since he, too, sported a magical control-necklace. Kagome had a different word for each of her three victims: Sit for Inu Yasha, Lay for Miroku and "Down" for Yuki. Dog obedience words, the demon realized with a nervous gulp.

Yuki cleared her throat and suggested hesitantly: "Don't you think these would be better used on Shinai or Tsurai?"

"Or Hisui and Sesshomaru?" Miroku added cautiously in a tiny voice.

Kagome gave that some serious thought. "I do have more rosaries…"

Shippo perched on the arm of Inu Yasha's chair but didn't dare speak lest he find his own neck festooned with a magic necklace. Shunusuke, too, seemed to have decided silence was the safest option until Kagome got over this control freak phase she was in. He sat in the other chair and wracked his brain for a way to convince Kagome to remove the necklaces (from his sister's neck, if no one else's).

"You're a cold woman, Lady Kagome," Myouga huffed from Shippo's shoulder. "Is this really necessary?"

Kagome turned on him with a wicked grin that made the flea rethink the wisdom of speaking his mind. "If I didn't do something, they'd just spend all their time in the bedroom when we need their help to deal with this latest problem." She raised an eyebrow at Yuki, who shrank against Miroku's shoulder. "These kitsune work for her family, so Yuki has to help us figure this out. It's… insurance."

Shunusuke decided now was a good time to speak up. "They're my family, too. Are you going to collar me, Kagome?"

"As long as you don't lie to us or betray us again," Kagome told him coolly, "I see no reason to resort to such drastic measures."

Ouch. "Even without threats," Shunusuke retorted in a calm voice, "I won't do that again. I told you how I feel about my father's plans, the same goes for Hisui's. Now take off their rosaries, Kagome. I'm sure we can trust them to stay put and not get fresh with each other while we sort this out."

Kagome glared. Shunusuke glared back. Nobody spoke. Finally, Kagome turned to Yuki and Miroku and wagged her finger at them. "Will you two behave yourselves?"

They nodded vigorously.

"Promise?"

Nods.

"Ok." Kagome took off their necklaces and put them over her own neck for safe keeping.

Yuki growled: "You are so dead, Higurashi. I'll get you for this."

Kagome had her collared again so fast it made Yuki's head spin. "Lay!"

From her face down in the carpet position, Yuki muttered: "I thought we were friends…"

"No threats, no rosary," Kagome chirped.

Mutter-mutter. "Fine."

Kagome took off Yuki's necklace again and declared to the rest of the room: "Anyway, it was an experiment to see if I could even do it on my own. Now that I know I can, we can use these on the kitsune twins!"

Inu Yasha crossed his arms and frowned. "I agree with Miroku: Use 'em on Hisui and Sesshomaru—or even Mikoto."

Kagome's shoulders drooped. "I don't think I'm fast enough to collar a full-blooded demon and get the spell out before they can get me. Especially demons as old and experienced as Hisui and Sesshomaru. If I miss, or I'm not fast enough, they could kill me and get the jewel!"

"Then I'll do it!" Inu Yasha shot back. "I'll put on the necklaces while you cast the spells!"

Kagome sat down on the couch with her erstwhile victims to think about that idea. Inu Yasha certainly was fast, there was no arguing that. And he'd proven his ability to evade Sesshomaru in the past—but that was a younger Sesshomaru than the one they faced now. She knew little about Hisui's fighting ability but assumed it was formidable because of her reputation.

Everyone else gave it a good think, too. "I wouldn't try it on the older demons," Shunusuke said thoughtfully. "They might have the power to break your spell. Certainly they'll kill you if you fail. I side with Yuki: Use your spell on Shinai and Tsurai. They do seem to be the ones causing your immediate problem."

"We don't know they're not doing it on Hisui's orders," Shippo cut in, "or even Mikoto's. This could be a trick."

"Well, no kidding it's a trick," Yuki snorted, "they're kitsune. You guys are all about tricks."

"Oh yeah," Shippo chuckled self-consciously, "forgot."

Suddenly Inu Yasha yipped and swatted at something dark and furry that appeared on top of his head. The black furball flew across the room to be caught by a very startled Sango. She looked down to find a cute, little black fox looking back up at her with big, dewy, innocent eyes. It gave her a doggy grin and pricked up its ears so it would look as cute and cuddly as possible. Then Inu Yasha grabbed it by its tail and would've thrown it against the wall if it hadn't turned into Shinai, leaving Inu Yasha with his hand on a very embarrassing part of the kitsune's anatomy. The demon dog turned bright red and was too flustered to even think about clawing the intruder.

Shinai batted his eyelashes at him fetchingly. "Why, Inu Yasha, I had no idea you felt that way!"

"DIE!"

SWIPE!

Shinai ducked, and Inu Yasha's claws whistled harmlessly over his head. The kitsune giggled, turned into a fox, and jumped back into Sango's arms to nuzzle her with a contented growl. Now that Sango knew who he was, she didn't fall for it and threw him at Inu Yasha, who knew better than to try and catch him this time. Good move, since Shinai returned to his humanlike form in mid-flight and landed with a triumphant grin less than a foot from Inu Yasha, who chose not to waste his claws on him this time.

"Heehee!" Shinai giggled. "You think you're all so smart, don't you?" Suddenly he felt something land around his neck. "What the-?!"

"LAY!"

SPLAT!

"How did you-?" Shinai tugged at the rosary around his neck but couldn't budge it. He rolled over and bared his fangs at Kagome. "You little bitch! I'll get you for th—"

"LAY!"

SPLAT!

Everybody else said: "Cool!"

"Watch for his brother!" Shunusuke warned, though Tsurai was nowhere in evidence. He held up a finger. "Wait for it…wait for it…"

"Release my brother immediately, you human whore!"

"NOW!"

Kagome faked a throw, shot a LAY at Shinai to keep him down, which distracted Tsurai for an instant. Inu Yasha grabbed his shoulder, spun him about and planted his fist in the kitsune's jaw before Tsurai could evade him. In the second in which Tsurai reeled from Inu Yasha's right hook, Kagome threw a rosary over his neck and screamed: "DOWN!"

SPLAT!

Now they had two very angry servants of demon lords face down on their living room carpet, vowing to personally tear them limb from limb, or failing that, sic their bosses on them.

"Lady Hisui will hear of this!" Shinai swore.

"As will Lord Asano!" Tsurai added.

"Good," Kagome told them pertly, "then I can tell them how you were planning to ruin Hisui's romance with Sesshomaru, Shinai."

Gulp.

"Which she probably already knows about, anyway," Kagome went on, "since she seems to be omniscient, or something."

Based upon recent experience, the people in the room figured that was Hisui's cue to appear in their midst. Especially considering what a slave to fashion Hisui was, and appearing on cue seemed to be the fashion of the day.

Wait.

No Hisui.

"Hm," Inu Yasha grunted thoughtfully, "I was sure she'd show up right then."

Shinai rolled over and blinked up at the demon dog. "Me, too."

"It does seem to be de rigeur today," Tsurai added as he rolled over and cautiously sat up, keeping a paranoid eye on Kagome all the while.

Kagome frowned and looked around the room, then stepped over Shinai and around his brother to go look out the door to the porch. No demon lords. She turned around to find Shunusuke had gotten up and was checking the bedrooms. Then he checked the bath, only to return to the living room with a shrug. "I can't believe it," he said, "she's actually not following the mode of fashion."

"Red letter day," Yuki chimed in.

"Yeah, better make a note of it," Inu Yasha smirked.

They waited, feeling certain Hisui would appear now that they were insulting her. The phone rang instead. Shunusuke hurried over to answer it.

"Hello?" He turned to the others and rolled his eyes, pointing meaningfully to the receiver.

They groaned. "I knew she couldn't pass up the opportunity," Inu Yasha complained and flopped back into his chair to wait for Shunusuke's report on the conversation. He didn't expect the demon lord would want to talk to him, though.

Shunusuke held out the phone. "I don't know what she wants, she just wants to talk to you."

Inu Yasha hesitated.

"You better do it," Shinai warned, and got a sharp LAY from Kagome. "Shit, bitch, what is your problem?!"

"LAY!"

Mumble-mumble-mumble.

Inu Yasha went over and took the phone from Shunusuke. "What do you want?" He growled into it. He didn't care how rude he was to Hisui Oukami, nor what she'd do to him for it. She was a bitch who didn't deserve (or want) any courtesy from him, and after what she was doing to Kagome's family, she'd be lucky if he didn't dedicate the rest of his life to finding a way to kill her (right after he got done with Naraku and Sesshomaru).

Hisui clicked her tongue at him. "Shame on you, Inu Yasha, and I was calling to give you good news and make you an offer you can't refuse!"

"Yeah right."

Pause.

"You're not a very nice young man, Inu Yasha," she scolded him affectionately, "I love that in a demon. Would you like to come work for me when you're done with this little quest you're on?"

Inu Yasha gagged.

"You'll need a good job if you're to support Kagome," Hisui continued cheerfully, "and you're certainly not qualified to do anything else in this time beyond being a basic thug."

Inu Yasha seethed. "I am not a thug."

Several people in the room disagreed but rather wisely kept their big mouths shut.

"Of course you are, darling!" Hisui assured him, as if she'd meant that thug-thing as a compliment. "Sesshomaru says you're very good in a fight, and since he's your brother I suppose he should know, shouldn't he?"

Inu Yasha muttered: "You have noooo idea…"

Hisui giggled. "Think about it, darling. My offer may seem more attractive to you later. Now, I know what my little Shinai asked you to do and I know his creepy brother doesn't want you to cooperate with him. I also know your deal with Shinai includes protection for Kagome's family."

Inu Yasha's ears pricked up at that turn of the conversation. He had a sinking feeling about what she was going to say next, though.

"He has no power to grant you that," Hisui said, not surprising Inu Yasha at all, "but I do. I'm bored with them. I've ordered Mikoto to withdraw his people, and I will withdraw mine. Kagome's family is no longer in danger."

Sure they weren't. "What's the catch?"

"Work for me, and Kagome and anyone else you specify will live long, happy, safe lives."

Inu Yasha's mouth went very dry and he swallowed bile as he asked: "And if I don't accept your offer?"

"They die, you die, everybody dies." She sounded positively perky about that.

Bloody hell. "Can I think about it?"

Hisui giggled a truly terrifying giggle that sent shivers down Inu Yasha's spine. "You may give me your answer at the Mermaid Ball tomorrow night. If I don't have a satisfactory answer by the stroke of midnight, you all die. Ciao, darling!"

Click.

Inu Yasha very slowly hung up the phone and just left his hand on it while what Hisui had said sunk in. Work for her, or everybody he cared about would die. Wait a minute: Another party? Tomorrow night? His head hit the wall with a soft clunk as he did the math. Tomorrow was the worst possible night for Hisui or anybody connected to her to see him. His secret would be revealed to his enemies! But… He closed his eyes and balled his fist. Kagome was more important than his secret. Her family was more important. He sighed. Hell, all of them were: Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Myouga…even Yuki and Shunusuke, for he was quite certain Hisui was including them in her threat since the Asano kids had taken his side against her.

Kagome's gentle hand on his shoulder startled him out of his terrible thoughts, but he couldn't look at her when he told her about Hisui's proposition.  
"Work for Hisui Oukami?!" Kagome exclaimed.

"But she's the Great Demon of the Northern Lands!" Shippo added as he jumped up onto the kitchen counter to be closer to Inu Yasha. "And you're the son of the Great Demon of the Western Lands! That won't work!"

Inu Yasha hung his head. "She wants me to give her my answer tomorrow night at something called the Mermaid Ball. By the stroke of midnight she said, whatever a stroke of midnight is."

"Clocks chime the hour," Yuki explained, "like in the fairy tale 'Cinderella': The clock chimed twelve times at midnight, and on the twelfth chime, the magic spell broke, and Cinderella's beautiful gown and fancy coach returned to rags and a pumpkin and she was just a scullery maid again."

Now Inu Yasha was really depressed. His "spell" wouldn't break at midnight, returning him to his normal, demon form. "Kagome," he whispered and glanced at her out of the side of his eye, "tomorrow…"

She nodded, having already done the calculations: Tomorrow was the night of the New Moon, the night Inu Yasha's youkai blood stopped flowing, leaving him almost completely human. If Hisui or anybody connected with her saw him like that… Naturally, Hisui knew what happened to half-demons, but when it happened was different for each one. Did Hisui guess when Inu Yasha's time was? Was that why she chose the Mermaid Ball? Or had she chosen it for the drama of bringing her game to a climax at a black tie affair? Stroke of midnight, indeed!

The only other people in the room who didn't know about Inu Yasha's time of the month were Yuki and Shunusuke, but with his ability to look into the minds of others, Kagome wondered if Shunusuke had taken the information from Inu Yasha as soon he noticed the demon's distress. She didn't dare ask but shot him a glance in spite of herself. No clue in his concerned expression. Darn.

"What are you going to do, Lord Inu Yasha?" Myouga asked quietly from Inu Yasha's shoulder. "Surely you don't intend to—I mean, you won't bow beneath that horrible woman's threats, surely!"

Inu Yasha glared at him for almost spilling the beans in front of Hisui's grandchildren, then shrugged. "I have to go. I have no choice. By this…stroke of midnight…I have to give Hisui an answer of some kind."

"How will you answer?" Miroku asked, joining the crowd by the phone. "You won't work for her, will you?"

Shinai and Tsurai snuck up behind the priest, and Shinai interjected dryly: "What difference will it make who Inu Yasha's father is if Hisui and Sesshomaru get married? It'll be all in the family, anyway."

"THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED?!"

Shinai grinned. "Not that I know of, but if nobody ruins their relationship," he glared at Inu Yasha and Kagome meaningfully, "they just might. That would mean a merger of North and West."

Tsurai nibbled his claw thoughtfully. "That might not be a bad thing, brother. The two lands have been friendly since their leaders started sleeping together…"

Shinai gawked in horror at his brother. "Usagi! Whose side are you on?!"

"The side of logic and reason, as usual," Tsurai replied innocently. "What other side is there?"

Shinai buried his face in his hands and sighed. "I can't believe we're related."

"Yes, shocking, isn't it?"

While the kitsune twins bickered, Inu Yasha fumed at them. Finally, he could take no more. "WILL YOU TWO GET LOST?!"

Shinai blew the furious demon a kiss and a saucy wink. "But we'll be working together, Inu Yasha! Can't we be friends?"

"SHUT UP!" Inu Yasha shoved the humans aside and dove on the smirking kitsune bodyguard with a vengeance. Not willing to allow his own brother to get beaten up by a snot nosed kid, Tsurai joined the fray, claws and fists flying.

"Leave my brother alone, you little whelp!"

"I can take care of myself, Usagi!"

"SHUT UP!"

"You shut up!"

"I said I can take care of myself!"

"SIT! LAY! DOWN!"

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!

Kagome glowered down upon the tangle of demon limbs with her hands on her hips and grumbled: "Inu Yasha, why is it that every conversation with you deteriorates into a fight?"

"Bitch."

Kagome wasn't entirely sure which demon had called her that, so she wielded her rosary mojo on all three.

* * *

Gin sat on the roof above the porch and adjusted the earplug in her foxy ear. Thanks to her boss for planting the bugs in his own vacation home, she could hear ever word that was said in any room of the house. She chuckled to herself: "Man, you gotta be really paranoid to spy on your own kids. I love that guy."


	24. Chapter 24

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter 24

Gin giggled as she listened to the conversation going on inside the condo. "Poor little Inu Yasha," she thought without the slightest pity whatsoever for the half-demon. "Tch! How will you get out of this one, I wonder? Or not!" The image of Inu Yasha as one of Hisui's pretty boy employees was just too hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that Gin almost missed an important part of the indoors conversation because she was laughing so hard. Then she had an inspiration and rang up her boss to tell him about it, feeling pretty pleased with herself, indeed.

Inu Yasha gazed at the sea through the glass patio doors and gently swaying trees and had a sudden realization: He was on Japan's eastern shore, which meant there should be a Great Demon in charge of this territory, a demon who was being strangely complacent about two of his (her?) rivals and their lackeys in the neighborhood. "Hey, Shunusuke? We're in the Eastern Lands, aren't we?" He pointed out the door in the appropriate direction to make his point.

Shunusuke guessed where he was going with that, but let Inu Yasha finish the question himself. "Yeah, why?"

Inu Yasha sucked on a claw. "Hisui Oukami and Sesshomaru—the Great Demons of the Northern and Western Lands—are in his territory, and we haven't heard a peep out of him. I'd think he'd have been here a long time ago, telling them to shove off."

Shunusuke coughed and exchanged an embarrassed look with his sister. Inu Yasha missed that, since he was looking at the ocean, not the Asanos, and just carried on with his train of thought. "I figure if we can contact the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands, we can convince him that his territory's being threatened and—"

"Uh, Inu Yasha?"

He turned to face Shunusuke for the first time and didn't like the man's expression at all. "Don't tell me there's no Great Demon of the Eastern Lands…"

Shunusuke looked at Yuki again and the two of them shrugged in unison. "There was until few months ago," Shunusuke began.

"But he got croaked by a magical girl," Yuki finished in a tone that was half embarrassed and half amused.

"A what?!" Kagome and the feudal visitors exclaimed at once. On the couch, still wearing their rosaries, Shinnai and Tsurai chuckled. "There's no such thing as magical girls," Kagome snorted, "they only exist in annoyingly cute shoujo manga and anime, like Sailor Moon or Magic Knights Rayearth." She gave Yuki a narrow-eyed glare and demanded to know what really happened.

Yuki looked innocent. "No, really. I swear. It was a magical girl, just like in Sailor Moon! I forget what she called herself though…" she scratched her head thoughtfully, "Pretty Sailor something, I think."

"No, that's not it," Shunusuke corrected. "It was Demon Hunter Pretty something or other…"

"Demon Hunter Pretty Mini—" Tsurai started to say, but his brother interrupted him with a derisive snort.

"It wasn't 'Demon Hunter' anything," he insisted, "it was Pretty Sailor Rainbow Moon."

"You idiot!" Tsurai growled back. "You made that up! It was Demon Hunter Pretty Moon!"

"Sailor Pretty Rei-Rei, actually," said Gin, who couldn't take it anymore and materialized on the couch between Shinnai and Tsurai. She scratched the brothers behind their ears, getting nasty growls from both for different reasons, then started preening her furry, silver tail instead.

Kagome's eyes bugged as she looked the newcomer up and down, scowling at her tattoos and grungy surfer girl gear. "Another kitsune," she said with a deep frown, pinning each fox spirit in the room with a sharp glare (including Shippo, who blinked up at her innocently). "Another _surfer_ kitsune," Kagome amended. "Oh, goodie. So which one do you work for? Hisui, Sesshomaru or Mikoto Asano?"

Gin showed her fangs and giggled.

"She works for Asano," Shinnai grumbled, "and she's tailing me."

Kagome clapped her hands in mock delight and exclaimed: "Great! Then she has nothing to do with us and can just go away!"

Sango entered the conversation at that point. "I'm confused. You three," she pointed at the kitsune on the couch, "are kitsune, yet you allow yourselves to be employed by other demons?"

Three nods.

"So what's your point?" Gin asked with scowl.

Sango glanced at Kagome, who very casually stuck her hand in her pocket where her rosaries were and moved closer to Gin as she spoke. "Her point is: Kitsune are usually pretty independent. I was surprised to find some of you working as mercenaries, too, as a matter of fact."

Inu Yasha figured out what she was planning and did his bit to distract Gin. "Kind of degrading, isn't it? Kitsune working for other demons…"

Gin growled at him, keeping one eye on Kagome. That girl was up to something. She was creeping, and humans only did that when they were up to something sneaky.

The twins knew exactly what Kagome was plotting and were more than happy to do their part toward collaring Gin. Shinnai lay his head on Gin's shoulder and batted his eyelashes at Inu Yasha fetchingly. "Aw, gee, Inu Yasha, that's harsh. You know how important your opinions are to us full-blooded demons."

Ok, this was definitely suspicious. Shinnai was being cute with her. Gin bumped him off her shoulder with an annoyed grunt. She pointed a claw at Kagome, who froze just as she was about to pull a rosary out of her pocket. "What are you planning, human?"

Kagome smiled, the very picture of innocence. "I don't know what you mean!"

"You're sneaking," Gin growled, "humans only sneak when they're planning something devious."

"Kagome is the most noble, honest, un-devious person I know!" Miroku vowed in Kagome's defense. He shook his fist at the heavens and began to weep some very over dramatic tears. "Never in all my travels have I known a person of more honorable character and purity! She would never sneak or plot anything devious!"

Gin's jaw dropped as she watched him pose and weep in nothing but his swim trunks and a rosary-wrapped leather cuff on his right arm. "Uh…"

"You are so weird…" Said Shippo, then turned on Yuki with a sharp: "What did you do to him?"

Which turned Gin's curiosity on Yuki, so Kagome made her move. Just as Gin felt the rosary drop onto her shoulders, Kagome cried: "BAD DOG!" Next thing she knew, Gin was face down in the carpet, uttering very colorful words in at least five different languages.

The other rosary-bearers exchanged angry looks, then glared at Kagome. Inu Yasha snarled: "'Bad dog'?"

"Yeah!" Shippo yipped angrily, "kitsune are foxes, not dogs! I can't believe you used that for your spell, Kagome! Low blow!"

"It was a spur of the moment thing, ok?!" Kagome shot back. "Gimme a break! It wasn't personal, or anything!" She crossed her arms and mumbled in a huff: "Whose side are you on, Shippo?"

"He's on the side of his own kind," Gin grouched as she painfully eased herself off of the floor and onto the couch again. "Bitch."

"Now who's using dog references?!" Kagome snapped, then stuck her tongue out at the irritated fox.

Shinnai grinned: "Don't stick that out unless you intend to use it."

Pause.

Kagome and Sango turned green, Inu Yasha turned red with fury, Tsurai and Myouga sighed and rolled their eyes, but everybody else was amused.

"That was so gross," Kagome muttered.

Shinnai giggled.

Desperate to change the subject, Sango asked a little too loudly: "So! What happened to this magical Rei-Rei girl who was able to kill the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands?"

Shunusuke and Yuki grinned, and Yuki informed them with great pride: "Daddy beat her in honorable combat, confiscated her magic wand that she used to transform herself and sent her into exile in China."

"So…who's the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands?" Inu Yasha asked carefully, though he had a terrible feeling what the answer would be. The magical girl killed the Great Demon and Mikoto Asano defeated the magical girl. Unless the Great Demon had an heir, his position was left wide open to any demon strong enough to take it. Obviously, Mikoto hadn't taken it, or he would've introduced himself as the Great Demon of the Eastern Lands. At the very least, Yuki and Shunusuke would've said their father was the Great Demon when Inu Yasha had asked about it earlier. That left three other candidates, assuming the Great Demon of the Southern Lands hadn't succumbed to the powers of Sailor Pretty Rei-Rei, too.

"Daddy's acting as executor of Kouri's estate, since they were business associates before he was killed by Sailor Pretty Rei-Rei," Yuki explained, "but he hasn't assumed the title, since Kouri's little boy is the real heir, and Daddy doesn't have anything against him. Anyway, he's too young to accept a serious challenge. So I guess you could say Daddy's the acting Great Demon of the Eastern Lands and guardian of the true heir, Shiroi-yama."

"Shit."

Gin snickered: "What a tangled web we weave, eh, Inu Yasha?"

"Shut up," Inu Yasha grumbled back. He sat down on the arm of the chair nearest the patio doors and once again turned his eyes to the sea while he contemplated his unhappy fate. Hisui wanted an answer by tomorrow at midnight at the Mermaid Ball—the night of the New Moon, when he was, for all intents and purposes, human. No demon powers or strength to help him fight her when he told her "no", and she followed through on her threat to kill everybody he cared about. Even with his allies at his side, they'd be no match for Hisui, Sesshomaru and Asano. Not to mention their servants—Hisui's and Mikoto's, at least, all seemed to be Ninja of some kind. There was no way he'd work for Hisui Oukami! There had to be a way out of this that didn't involve his friends getting killed!

He scratched behind one of his ears and asked the room in general: "What about the Great Demon of the Southern Lands?"

The three rosary-wearing kitsune found that funny. "He's kitsune," Tsurai said, "with old ties to the Asano family."

Inu Yasha sighed miserably. "Sunnovabitch."

Gin showed her fangs. "Sunnovavixen, more correctly."

Inu Yasha cast a meaningful glance at Kagome, who casually said: "Bad dog."

SPLAT!

"That's getting pretty old, sister!" Gin growled into the carpet. "You realize any of our employers can break your pathetic spell, don't you? And when they do, you are one dead Priestess!"

Kagome tossed her head and pertly replied: "I'm not a priestess. I'm a junior high school student, more correctly."

"What-EVER!"

Inu Yasha went out onto the porch to have a really good think and get away from all of the annoying fox-people in the living room. He didn't realize Myouga was on his shoulder until the flea spoke up once the door was closed behind them.

"Perhaps we could just take them all back in time with us, M'lord," he suggested in a dull voice. "No, that would never work." He groaned: "How can you defeat Hisui Oukami tomorrow night, of all nights? We're doomed."

Inu Yasha sighed and said nothing. He wasn't so sure he could defeat a Great Demon of Hisui's age and experience on a good day, much less when he was without his demon powers. Especially not with the kind of back-up she had on her side. And no hope for help from the South, either, if ever there'd been some for the half-blood son of the old Great Demon of the Western Lands. What about that magical girl? Maybe if he could get back her magic wand-thing and restore her powers, she'd help him out of gratitude. She'd killed one Great Demon, why not two or three more? Four, probably, if the Great Demon of the Southern Lands decided to avenge Asano's death, since they were supposedly so tight.

"Lord Inu Yasha?" Myouga prodded when his master didn't answer him. "You do have a plan, don't you?"

"Too bad that magical girl's in China."

Myouga blinked at him stupidly, not sure if he'd heard him right. "You're not serious…"

Just then the door opened behind them, and Inu Yasha caught a waft of Patchouli and kitsune scent: Gin. Perhaps if he ignored her…

"Phone call for you," she announced in a way-too-perky voice and held out a bright purple cell phone to him. "It's my boss. He wants to make you a counter-offer."

* * *

Later…

The gang sat on the beach in a very deep funk and watched the tide come in and the sun set. The kitsune trio had left them shortly after Inu Yasha got off the phone with Mikoto Asano. They vowed to have their respective masters remove Kagome's rosaries, and Inu Yasha dared them to try. For the sake of not giving the Great Demons anything more to be mad at them about, Kagome had reclaimed her rosaries. No apologies, though, since Inu Yasha's temper was a much more immediate threat, and she already had a headache.

So, Inu Yasha had three unpleasant career choices before him: Work for Hisui Oukami, work for her son Mikoto Asano, or work for neither and have one or both of them kill him and everybody he cared about. Inu Yasha found it rather interesting that Sesshomaru hadn't hopped on the Hire Inu Yasha bandwagon, since that just seemed to be the thing to do that day (and would really mess with his head). Hm, now that he thought about it, if he were to approach Sesshomaru for a job, that would screw the hell out of Hisui and Mikoto. Or would it? Maybe that's what they were trying to force him to do. But why? He'd seen how Sesshomaru and Hisui interacted and was positive Hisui would have no control over Inu Yasha if Sesshomaru did hire him. Mikoto certainly wouldn't. So what would they gain by it? Unless everything was exactly as it seemed, and nobody wanted him to work for his brother. Inu Yasha lay back and closed his eyes to think about it more deeply.

Technically, he didn't need to ask his brother for a job, since they were both the sons of the late Great Demon of the Western Lands. However, they'd had a bit of a falling out early in their relationship, and Sesshomaru had forced his little brother out of the castle. Then there was that matter of Sesshomaru always trying to kill him for the Tetsusaiga, in which he no longer seemed to have much interest. Either Sesshomaru had been lying about that, or he really didn't want it anymore. Either way, hiring Inu Yasha was advantageous, since he'd get the Tetsusaiga and a powerful ally. After all, Sesshomaru had yet to defeat his younger brother in battle, which indicated to Inu Yasha that big brother wasn't as strong as he was. Of course, Sesshomaru was a lot older now and presumably more powerful, so challenging him at this point would probably be bad. But seeking employment… He decided to bounce the idea off of his buddies just to watch the shock on their faces.

"I was thinking of asking Sesshomaru for a job," he told them casually.

Shippo: "That was joke, right?"

Kagome: "Are you crazy? He hates you!"

Miroku: "Hisui and Mikoto hate him, too."

Sango: "That doesn't make it a good idea."

Yuki: "But he's sleeping with Hisui. You'd practically be working for her!"

Shunusuke: "Especially if they got married, heaven forbid."

Myouga: "Actually, I think the idea might have merit…"

All: "WHAT?!"

Myouga jumped from Inu Yasha's shoulder to his kneecap so he could get a better view of his audience. "Think about it this way: If Sesshomaru hires Inu Yasha, Hisui would be unlikely to make good on her death threats because it would be a direct insult to Sesshomaru. Mikoto Asano hasn't made any threats, so he would presumably just accept Inu Yasha's decision. Also, to anyone who doesn't know them well, Inu Yasha and Sesshomaru working together seems a perfectly logical thing for them to do, being brothers. Most importantly, however, is the psychological effect such a move would have on our enemies. I think Lord Inu Yasha should try it." He shrugged. "The worst Sesshomaru is likely to do is laugh in his brother's face and say no."

"You don't think he'll kill Inu Yasha for insolence, or anything like that?" Sango asked suspiciously.

Myouga thought about it. "No, I don't think he will. That wouldn't serve much of a purpose, and it would probably be more gratifying to him to watch Inu Yasha squirm in a pinch between Hisui and Mikoto."

Now that Myouga mentioned it, Inu Yasha realized that was probably just what Sesshomaru would do. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Inu Yasha smirked to himself. Anyway, he owed his brother a little mind-twisting for that disgusting comment about where he'd found Hisui's jewel shard.

"I've decided," he announced, pointing a finger to the sky, "I'm going to ask Sesshomaru for a job."

Kagome checked his forehead for fever. "I knew it, you're delusional."

Inu Yasha brushed her hand away with an irritated sigh. "Kagome, I'm doing this for you! If I don't beat Hisui on this one, she'll kill your family—and you and the rest of us, too!" He looked away with a hint of pink on his cheeks and added quietly: "Hisui was right: If I plan to stay here with you someday, I'll need a way to support us, and since the only skills I have involve fighting and killing, bodyguard work is my best option."

He could feel the astonishment from his companions but Inu Yasha refused to look at any of them, choosing to keep his eyes shut and hope Kagome didn't say the worst: That she didn't plan on hanging around with him anymore after they put the jewel back together and killed Naraku. His heart pounded in his chest as the sweat sprang out on his forehead, and his companions remained painfully silent.

"Oh, Inu Yasha!" Kagome threw herself on top of him in a great, big bear hug and wept for joy on his chest. "Do you really want to stay with me?"

Inu Yasha hugged her back, his face now a very deep shade of mortified red. Did she have to do this kind of thing in front of people?! "I said I did, didn't I?!"

The others watched them be warm and fuzzy with each other for a few moments, then Yuki sighed: "That's so romantic!"

Miroku put his arm about her shoulders and nodded. "It certainly is."

Yuki snuggled closer and put her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh, and Miroku lay his head against hers. Together they watched the sun glisten on the waves, feeling the love in a really big way. Shunusuke glanced at Sango out of the corner of his eye and found she was looking at him, too—but the stiff set of her back sent a clear message: Don't even think about it. He decided unhappily to keep his hands to himself. 

"You want to work for me?" Sesshomaru chuckled, pointing from Inu Yasha to himself. They sat across a table from each other in a corner of one of the Green Mermaid's pubs, Inu Yasha with a beer in front of him, Sesshomaru with a Midori and soda. "Is this your big plan to get out of working for Hisui or Mikoto and save your friends?" He ran a long, well-manicured claw around the rim of his glass. "I must admit, you've got balls, little brother, and I do admire your ingenuity on this one. I assume you want to do something other than maintenance or clerical?"

Inu Yasha glared. "I was thinking bodyguard, like what those damn kitsune do for Hisui and Mikoto."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "They're more than bodyguards, Inu Yasha. You'd need a great deal of training to do what they do—not the least of which involves making you proficient with modern technology and weapons. You'd need to understand modern culture, as well, of course, which will be the most difficult thing to teach, since you haven't lived through the last four hundred years, as I have." He sipped his drink thoughtfully, studying his half-breed brother with glittering youkai eyes. "You're not a full demon, but I'm sure I could find a way to use that to my advantage."

Inu Yasha didn't think it would be wise at that juncture to tell Sesshomaru that he could very well chose to use the power of the Jewel of Four Souls to become fully human for Kagome's sake. The possibility of being a full demon was still open to him, of course, but that would mean he'd be immortal, and Kagome wouldn't. He'd have to watch her grow old and die, and any children they might have would be half-bloods, just as he was now. He wasn't so sure he could deal with either of those things. Well, regardless, he'd need some way to earn money in this world, and right now Sesshomaru looked like his best bet for employment. Amazingly, his big brother actually seemed to be taking his request seriously. There had to be a catch.

"Inu Yasha," Sesshomaru was saying with a little smirk, "isn't this a little humiliating for you, begging for a job in your own ancestral home?"

He acknowledged their common bloodline?! Inu Yasha was at a loss for words, then Sesshomaru's comment about how humiliating this should be sunk in and he frowned. "I'm not begging, Sesshomaru, I'm asking. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should just say: 'I'm moving back in, Sesshomaru, prepare my room'. Is that better?"

The Great Demon of the Western Lands grinned in a very disturbing way. "It's more worthy of our father's son, but I'm not our father and I don't feel I owe you anything. Still, you are my father's son, so I have two choices now that two other Great Demons are paying such careful attention to me: Treat you better, or kill you."

"Oh shit," thought Inu Yasha, "here it comes." His claws dug into his palms as his muscles tensed for a fight.

Sesshomaru flagged down a waiter and ordered Inu Yasha another beer. "You're more useful to me alive," he told his brother after the waiter left. "Very well, you're hired. You start immediately. We'll inform Hisui and Mikoto together." He produced a cell phone from a pouch on his belt and dialed. "Jakan? Call Hisui and Asano, have them meet me in the Starfish Pub to discuss Inu Yasha's employment situation. Call me if they're not available." He switched off the phone and lay it on the table with a bland smile for his very stunned younger brother. "I'm feeling a bit peckish. Would you like something to eat?"

Inu Yasha nodded dumbly.

"We should discuss your salary requirements and training schedule before Hisui and Mikoto arrive," Sesshomaru went on. The waiter arrived with Inu Yasha's beer, and Sesshomaru ordered Hot Pot from him. "I assume you haven't a clue about the value of money in this time, so you can either trust me to be fair or demand a local to advise you. I would not recommend that little Higurashi girl. She looks too young to have ever been in the workforce and she certainly wouldn't know anything about this line of work."

Trust Sesshomaru, huh? Well, he wasn't so sure who else he could trust. He'd call Shunusuke, but he was too close to Mikoto and Hisui. Then again, the guy didn't seem to be on his family's side in this affair, so maybe he wasn't such a bad choice. He did seem to have a good head on his shoulders. Or would it look bad not to trust his new employer, especially since they were related? Shit, he didn't even know the proper protocol for that! Since Sesshomaru suggested it, Inu Yasha decided it was ok for him to ask for a witness. "Call Shunusuke Asano."

Sesshomaru handed him the cell phone. "Are you sure? He's Mikoto's son and Hisui's grandson."

"I know that!" Inu Yasha realized he didn't know the phone number for the condo. How embarrassing. Fortunately, Sesshomaru knew it and was able to recite it to him. As he dialed and waited for someone to pick up on the other end, Inu Yasha took the opportunity to scowl at his new boss. "So what kind of training do you have in mind? Hello? Kagome? It's me. Let me talk to Shunusuke." Pause. "I'm hired. I'll tell you about it later. Get me Shunusuke." Another pause. "Damn Jedi Mind Tricks!"

He switched off the phone and handed it back across the table to Sesshomaru, who was smiling at him in an odd way. "He's already on his way over."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Is that any way to treat your girlfriend?"

Inu Yasha looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I can see we need to work on your manners," Sesshomaru sighed. "You never end a telephone conversation with the woman of your dreams without saying 'goodbye' or some other polite phrase that conveys the same thing. Hanging up on someone as you did is very rude. You've probably hurt Kagome's feelings." He pushed the phone across the table. "Push 'on', then 'redial' and apologize to her for being such a cretin."

Embarrassed, Inu Yasha did as he was told. As Sesshomaru had said, Kagome was hurt and a bit upset with him for hanging up on her. Yes, indeed, this was a strange and mysterious world with all sorts of weird customs. What in the hell had he gotten himself into?


	25. Chapter 25

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Twenty Five

Inu Yasha shared hot pot with his new employer and wondered what he'd gotten himself into. Would working for Sesshomaru be just as bad as working for Hisui or her son? Worse? Maybe it would actually be a good experience, he thought on a lark. After all, this older Sesshomaru did seem different than the younger one he knew in the past. He didn't want the Tetsusaiga anymore (at least, that's what he claimed) and didn't even seem especially inclined to kill his little brother, something that had been a bit of an obsession for him four hundred years ago. Inu Yasha observed Sesshomaru's elegant table manners, his clothes that didn't have a wrinkle in them, his perfect hair…and found himself feeling rather self-conscious. His own clothes still had sand on them, since he'd come directly from the beach, and his hair was its usual ruffled mop (also a bit sandy). As for his table manners, he was having trouble keeping sauce off his shirt.

"So…" Sesshomaru said to fill the uncomfortable silence.

Inu Yasha paused with a soy sauce-drenched piece of octopus halfway to his mouth and gave his brother a suspicious look. "So what?"

That made the older demon smile, which didn't help Inu Yasha's appetite any. "So what are you going to do about tomorrow night?"

Inu Yasha gagged on his food and had to chug down half his beer before his throat was clear enough to breathe through again. "To—tomorrow night?" He stammered. "What's tomorrow night?" He decided to play dumb. "I thought since I was working for you I didn't have to worry about Hisui and Mikoto anymore!"

Sesshomaru sighed and rolled his eyes. He plucked a nice, fat shrimp from the pot and ate it before replying coolly: "You have nothing more to worry about from those two. That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Inu Yasha's heart pounded. Did he know? It was possible, since he'd presumably lived through the completion of Inu Yasha's quest for the jewel. Maybe at some point in Sesshomaru's past, he'd revealed his half-blood's secret by accident! Inu Yasha forced his hands not to tremble as he picked some fish out of the pot and forced it down. "No, I don't know what you mean. What else is there that makes tomorrow night so special?"

His brother glared at him in exasperation. "The Mermaid Ball, you git! It's only the biggest event of the season at this resort, and Kagome is surely expecting you to escort her!"

Inu Yasha hesitated, then grabbed another chunk of fish. "So I'm taking Kagome to another dance. What of it?" He washed down the fish with a mouthful of beer, all the while keeping his eyes on Sesshomaru and wondering in gut wrenching terror if the man knew the real significance of the following night. Was Sesshomaru concerned that Inu Yasha would go to the dance as a human, revealing his secret to Hisui and Mikoto?

A pained expression crossed Sesshomaru's face. "You can't tell me you own a tuxedo."

Eh? "A…what?"

"I didn't think so," Sesshomaru heaved a weary sigh. "What did you think you would wear to a formal dance? Your filthy old kimono?"

"It's not filthy—" Inu Yasha thought he'd die with relief. So Sesshomaru didn't know. That still left him with the problem of what to do about the following night. He couldn't very well let himself be seen as a human! Yet…if he really did stay in Sesshomaru's employ, Inu Yasha imagined he'd have to tell him his secret, if Sesshomaru didn't discover it on his own.

Sesshomaru looked his brother over with a disdainful eye and thought aloud: "You're about my height, though slightly smaller in build. Hmmm…I could have Jaken take in one of mine. You certainly don't have time to get fitted at a shop for one of your own." He took a sip from his drink and added: "Not a good one. You can try it on after we've talked to Hisui and Mikoto—and speaking of Asanos…"

Inu Yasha followed his brother's casual gesture to find Shunusuke just entering the pub. Sesshomaru flagged him down, and Shunusuke wove his way around the busy tables to seat himself between the brothers with his back to the wall.

"Sesshomaru," he nodded to the demon lord, then smiled at Inu Yasha. "So! Got a job, did you?"

Inu Yasha could only nod stupidly and wonder what Shunusuke thought of his choice of employers. He hadn't favored Sesshomaru when Inu Yasha brought it up on the beach before. Was the young Asano secretly pitying him right then?

Shunusuke's smile broadened as Inu Yasha's thoughts came to him. Poor guy. In his place, Shunusuke decided he'd be a little uncertain, too. Even if one was blood related, one didn't enter into the service of a Great Demon lightly. "Well, I guess you chose the lesser of three evils," he joked, getting a chuckle out of Sesshomaru, and an embarrassed look from Inu Yasha. Shunusuke nudged his arm with a companionable smirk. "I mean it, Inu Yasha. I think you did the right thing under the circumstances. Beats working for Hisui Oukami, doesn't it? No offense…" He added to Sesshomaru, who shrugged.

"We should get down to business before Hisui and your father arrive," the demon lord suggested firmly. He took his Palm Pilot from his jacket pocket and switched it on. "I'd like to start you at ¥5.3 million per year. I feel that's a fair sum because of the amount of training you'll require to acclimate you to current culture and to my organization. Also, it will allow you enough money to improve your wardrobe." As he spoke, he made entries into the little computer by writing on its small screen with a tiny stylus.

Inu Yasha snorted his opinion of that and earned himself a raised eyebrow from Sesshomaru.

"You need to blend, Inu Yasha," Sesshomaru explained in a tight voice, "and you certainly can't do that in your usual pink ensemble."

"It's armor," Inu Yasha countered under his breath. He slouched in his chair and picked at the hot pot with his chopsticks. "And it's not filthy, either."

Sesshomaru chose to ignore all that. "I assume someone bought those for you?" He pointed at the shorts and T-shirt Inu Yasha was wearing.

Inu Yasha continued to pout and poke at the hot pot. "Yuki bought me clothes for this week," he smirked up at his brother as he added, "nice clothes. Expensive."

"One could never tell…" Sesshomaru muttered as he made entries into the Palm Pilot.

Inu Yasha sat up with huff and threw down his chopsticks. "You expect me to dress like you?!"

"I have taste."

"You look like a girl!"

Sesshomaru sighed and patiently rubbed his forehead. "Asano? I'm offering him what I believe to be a fair starting salary. He has asked you here to advise him," he looked at Shunusuke with cold eyes. "What do you advise?"

Shunusuke ignored the chill he got from those eyes and thought about the demon's question for a moment. "What will his training entail? How many hours are you planning to devote to it? What do you estimate it will cost him to accumulate a suitable wardrobe? What will his responsibilities be? Will he live with you when he's here? Or will he need his own place?"

"I'll stay with Kagome."

Sesshomaru nodded. "When I don't need you to be at the castle or one of my offices, that will be acceptable. As for his training schedule," he turned the Palm Pilot so Shunusuke could read the screen, "that's what I'm working on now." He turned the machine back to himself. "I realize he still needs to split his time between here and…his other responsibility. So I don't plan to keep him here more than ten days, total, out of any given month and no more than three days at a time. When he's here, his work days will be no longer than 12 hours until he's fully trained and/or I feel he's ready to go full-staff. At that time, he'll be on call when not on assignment."

Inu Yasha had no idea what half of that meant. "What do you mean, 'on call'?"

"I mean," Sesshomaru explained, "when I need you to do a job, day or night, you will be called, and you will drop everything to do that job."

Inu Yasha bit his lip and looked to Shunusuke for guidance. "Do your father's people work like that?"

Shunusuke nodded. "It's normal for this business."

"What is 'this business', exactly," Inu Yasha demanded. "What am I being hired to do? Bodyguard? Assassin?"

Sesshomaru leaned back in his chair to regard his brother with a thoughtful expression, his golden eyes glowing in the dim light of the pub. "A bit of both. I believe your best talents will reveal themselves as you train. I'll be able to tell you what the specifics of you job will be after that. And of course, I'll reevaluate your salary at that time, as well." He picked up his chopsticks and fished out bit of fish and a big mushroom and devoured them with a contented smile. Then he fixed his brother with an amused look and quipped: "You'll need a hair cut."

Inu Yasha turned a shade paler and grabbed at his hair as if Sesshomaru would come over the table with a pair of shears and whack it all off, right then and there. "No cutting my hair! I'll wear your poofy clothes and be on call but I won't cut my hair!"

Sesshomaru and Shunusuke chuckled. "He was joking, Inu Yasha," Shunusuke reassured his friend.

"I don't care!" Inu Yasha scooted his chair away from the table to put a little more distance between himself and his brother.

"Just a trim," Sesshomaru persisted, barely able to keep from laughing at the terror in Inu Yasha's eyes at the thought of an innocent hair cut. He pulled at his own bangs. "Just to get rid of the split ends, tidy it up a bit."

"No."

"I can't believe you're so obsessive about your hair, little brother," Sesshomaru chuckled and shook his head. "Of course I wouldn't make you cut it off, but a few centimeters off the ends won't hurt the length any."

"What are centimeters?" Inu Yasha demanded suspiciously.

Shunusuke illustrated with his finger and thumb. Inu Yasha studied the distance for a while, then decided centimeters weren't big enough to be noticeable if they were taken off his 'do. "Ok, but just 'a few centimeters'."

"And you better have it done today, so you'll look nice for the ball tomorrow," Sesshomaru told him pointedly, making it an order.

His tone raised Inu Yasha's hackles, but he let it go. He didn't plan on going to that ball, it was just a matter now of finding a really plausible excuse for running back to the past to get out of going. That was the only solution to his predicament, as far as Inu Yasha could see. The real trick would be preventing Kagome from going back with him and ruining her big night. Inu Yasha groaned silently. He'd never hear the end of it if he spoiled this for Kagome. He'd already screwed up her "peaceful" vacation. At least that shindig thing had gone reasonably well until Sango had gotten drunk, and he'd had to take her home. A terrific night that had ended in a great, big SIT. He just couldn't win.

Shunusuke tapped his hand, and Inu Yasha realized Sesshomaru had been trying to get his attention for some time. He blushed a little and took a gulp of beer to cover for it. "Sorry. I was thinking about how I'd deal with dressing like a girl."

Sesshomaru didn't buy that but said nothing about it. "I asked you if an annual starting salary of - 5.3 million is acceptable."

That sounded like a helluva lot of money to Inu Yasha but when looked at Shunusuke, the man seemed to be debating it. Maybe the figure just sounded big. "How much is that in gold Ryu?" Inu Yasha asked.

Sesshomaru thought about it. "Thirty, maybe. It's been a long time since I dealt in the old currency."

Inu Yasha turned to Shunusuke again. "Can I live on that in this world? And support Kagome when the time comes?"

Shunusuke nodded slowly. "It's fair. I'd take it, if I were you."

If he agreed to it, he'd be officially working for the brother he'd hated all his life. Well, as Shunusuke had said, it beat hell out of working for Hisui or any of her family. Inu Yasha's fists clenched as he pondered the sparkling, golden depths of his beer. Finally, he took a deep breath, looked Sesshomaru straight in the eye and said: "I'll take it. Now what?"

Sesshomaru grinned. "Now we break it to Hisui and Mikoto when they arrive. Meanwhile, that beer looks like it could use topping off."

* * *

Mikoto accepted Inu Yasha's employment arrangement gracefully and even congratulated him. Hisui, on the other hand, threw a bit of a temper tantrum, accusing Sesshomaru of betraying her, and Mikoto of being in a conspiracy with him against her.

"You never let me have my fun!" She complained petulantly and stabbed things in the hot pot with a chopstick. "Furthermore, I think Inu Yasha should at least be allowed to hear my counter offer before making a final decision!"

"I've made my final decision," Inu Yasha growled. "You'll only make more threats, which isn't in my best interest."

"Actually," Hisui pouted and put her chopstick straight through a piece of fish, "I'm willing to withdraw my threats and offer you monetary compensation instead."

"It's a done deal," Inu Yasha retorted.

"But—" Hisui began, but Inu Yasha cut her off sharply.

"My decision is made!" He twisted his glass on its little paper coaster and watched it turn instead of looking at Hisui. "You can't always get your way, no matter how many people you kill or threaten to kill. The way I see it is this: You have a decision to make. Me, or Sesshomaru. Who's it gonna be?"

Over a low growl in her chest, Hisui told him in a cold voice: "Sesshomaru, of course. I don't care about you. I just want the Jewel. Don't overestimate your own importance, little pup."

Inu Yasha smirked. "As long as I have what you want, I don't think I can overestimate my importance to you." He looked up, not at Hisui, but at his brother. He hated the idea of seeking support from Sesshomaru, but in this case it looked like the only way to force Hisui to back off was to gang up on her. It occurred to him then that Sesshomaru might want the Jewel, too, despite what he'd said the other day. It would multiply a Great Demon's power exponentially, and personal power was a great motivator for a youkai. That's why Inu Yasha didn't believe either Hisui or Sesshomaru when they claimed to love each other—that just wasn't a youkai thing to do. Each one probably figured they were benefiting from the other and when one or the other stopped being useful, that would be the end of the relationship. That's how it worked in youkai circles. Humans, now…humans were another kind of animal, entirely. Humans loved. Even half-humans like him loved, but not full-blooded demons. He wondered what Hisui and Sesshomaru thought they were gaining from each other, then remembered what Sesshomaru had told him about how he'd wanted Hisui for centuries. "Probably bullshit," Inu Yasha thought sourly.

"Hisui," Sesshomaru said coolly, "leave him be. He's made his decision, and that's the end of it. If you still want the Jewel, I'm afraid you'll have to go through me, as well as Inu Yasha."

Hisui looked like she'd just been struck. "Wh-what?! You would fight me, Sesshomaru? I thought you—you said you—" She looked nervously around the table, unwilling to show any kind of weakness in front of them, even her own kin.

Sesshomaru's face softened. "Love you? Of course I do," he assured her quietly and reached over to caress her hand. "The story of the Jewel of Four Souls has already been written, Hisui, and it doesn't include you. Change the past and you'll change our present and future. Please think about what you're proposing to do."

"Are you insinuating that I don't think before I act?" Hisui snarled back, snatching her hand out from under his. His pained expression doused her anger as quickly as dropping a torch into a lake. He started to move his hand away, but she quickly wrapped hers around it with an apologetic look. "No, of course you weren't. Why don't you and I discuss this someplace else, Darling?"

"Oh great," thought Inu Yasha, "we're back to 'darling'." Hisui only seemed to call people "darling" when she felt she had the upper hand. What in the hell was she scheming now?

Mikoto sighed, apparently thinking the same thing Inu Yasha was. "Mother, Sesshomaru's right: The Jewel's history doesn't include you. It's pointless for you to try to change it, so find some other toy to play with."

That might not have been the best thing he could've said to his mother, considering her habit of doing away with children who displeased her. Still, Mikoto stood his ground when the Great Demon of the Northern Lands bared her fangs at him and gave him her meanest look of doom. "Don't antagonize me, Darling. You know what I can do."

"Throw a temper tantrum," Mikoto retorted dryly, "then call your broker to attempt a hostile take over of my business? My name has entirely too much clout in the industry for that to hurt my reputation. I'll just start a new company, outsell your company, then buy back the firm. I play this game every day, Mother. You don't."

Sputter.

"You're an old dog in a young dog's world," Mikoto continued, staring down his mother with sharp eyes.

Three sets of eyes bugged at him in shock, and Inu Yasha wondered if Mikoto had suddenly developed a death wish.

Hisui's growl got louder as Mikoto continued talking in a calm voice. "You see, Mother, I've been doing a lot of thinking this week…about you and me and our relationship. And I've come to the conclusion that I don't need you. Furthermore, I refuse to be intimidated by you any longer. I'm a very powerful man, with influence reaching around the globe—"

"With humans!" Hisui spat.

Mikoto was unaffected. "Humans own this world, Mother. Look at Sesshomaru. He's a full-blooded demon lord, yet his power in this day and age rests in his business interests, not his teeth and claws, as was the norm in your heyday. Even you are deeply involved with stock trading and dabble in the occasional corporate acquisition for me when you get bored." He leaned forward and steepled his fingers between himself and his mother with an icy smile. "On the playing field of international business, you're no match for me. Play games with mortals, as our ancestors once did, I'll do business with them, instead." He chuckled a little at her flabbergasted expression and added: "If you can't play the game, Mother, get off the field."

Hisui's and Sesshomaru's jaws hung open in shock. Hisui trembled and sputtered, unable to put her rage in to words that could even begin to describe her feelings. "You—you—TRAITOR!"

"Not so," Mikoto replied coolly. "It's you who are the traitor to your family, Mother—threatening to buy me out, trying to take the Jewel for yourself when I had specifically come here with the intention of taking it, interfering with my plans and my business when I'm the real bread-winner in this family. I could go on. But the most important consideration in the long run is the Jewel. That's the other thing I was thinking about the past few days."

"Thinking about it won't get you the—" Hisui began, but Mikoto cut her off.

"I don't want it anymore, and neither should you." He leaned back in his chair and sipped his tea. "I really do agree with Sesshomaru: We must abandon our desire to posses the Jewel of Four Souls. Though to Inu Yasha and his friends the quest is still happening, to us who have lived through the last few centuries, it's already finished." He grinned at Inu Yasha, anticipating the question: "And, no, we won't tell you how it came out. At least," he pierced the two demon lords with a cold glare, "I won't be so unscrupulous."

"Can't you at least tell me if we succeed, or not?" Inu Yasha pleaded, then bit his tongue against such a pathetic tone of voice. Of course they succeeded! The world was still filled with light and happy people, so Naraku couldn't possibly have won. Surely the world would be a wasteland if he had. But what had become of those who had fought Naraku? And if they had won and survived… Inu Yasha remembered what Sesshomaru had said about Kagome being pregnant the last time he'd seen her. Whose child was it? And what choice had he, Inu Yasha, made about using the Jewel to become human or demon? If the child was his, was it part demon? Or had he used the Jewel to become human, so the child was pure human? Or had he chosen to become a full demon, making the child a half-blood? What if Kagome's child wasn't his at all? But who else could possibly be the father? Of course, the whole thing could just be more of Sesshomaru's bullshit.

"I'll tell you nothing," Mikoto replied while Inu Yasha's thoughts chewed on the possibilities, "and that's final." He shrugged. "You work for your brother now, maybe he'll tell you something."

Inu Yasha looked expectantly across the table at his brother, but Sesshomaru slowly shook his head. "No."

Hisui impatiently tapped her claws on the tabletop. Something in Mikoto's story didn't ring quite true. She could feel it. The fact that he was trying to guard his thoughts from her was incredibly suspicious, as well, indicating he was definitely hiding something. But what? She almost wished they hadn't kicked Shunusuke out when they arrived. With a little telepathic coercion the boy might have been useful in getting past his father's barriers. What was the real reason Mikoto was giving up on the Jewel and was now so adamant about her not having it, either? She decided to confront him directly, since her efforts to break his barriers weren't working.

"Mikoto-darling," she purred dangerously, and all other activity at the table abruptly stopped. "I don't think you're being entirely honest with us about the Jewel. This is all just a bluff, isn't it? You want us to think you've given, but I think you haven't given up at all."

Mikoto sighed in exasperation and ran his fingers through his hair with a growl. "I am giving up, Mother. Alright, let me put it another way: If I got the Jewel, I'd be the one to face Naraku. Me, a half-blood. Even with my resources, I don't think I could destroy such a creature."

"I'd help you, Darling!"

He shook his head. "And demand what to show my gratitude? The Jewel? My holdings? My fortune? You'd kill me next, Mother, and you know it."

Hisui performed an exaggerated pout which only served to make Mikoto's point in everyone else's mind.

"If you got the Jewel," Mikoto continued, "You'd have to fight him, probably with help from Sesshomaru and me and everyone working for us. Well and good. Perhaps we could destroy him, but he will have had four hundred years of free-reign in this world. Maybe by now there'd be no world left. And surely during that time, he'd challenge the four Great Demons of four hundred years ago, including you. I don't think you could've beaten him four hundred years ago, Mother. I know Sesshomaru couldn't have done it—he couldn't even beat his own half-blood brother, much less a legion creature like Naraku."

Sesshomaru ruffled at that but said nothing. Much as it rankled, what Mikoto said was true: In all of their battles, he had never scored a victory over Inu Yasha and had usually been forced to retreat. He unconsciously rubbed his left arm, which Inu Yasha had cut off with the Tetsusaiga in their first fight and which had only just finished growing back in the last century.

Hisui tossed her head and said with a smirk: "Sesshomaru has admired me for centuries. We would've teamed up against Naraku!"

"No we wouldn't have," Sesshomaru sighed. "You hardly knew I was alive and probably didn't view me as worthy of your notice, much less as a strong ally. Even if you did, you would have just used me, then killed me when I'd outlived my usefulness. That would have left my father's territory in your hands, making you Great Demon over half of Japan. The other Great Demons would certainly not have tolerated that and would have challenged you." He shook his head. "No, I don't even want to think about that scenario."

Hisui's smug smile drooped a bit as she thought about that. As she sat beside him now, she couldn't imagine herself ever harming Sesshomaru, but he was right: Things had been different back then. But what if they hadn't been? What if she had noticed him in his youth? Would she feel as she did now? She imagined falling in love with Sesshomaru four hundred years ago and realized something: None of her half-blood children would ever have been born, including the one sitting at the table with her, claiming he didn't need her anymore. Ah-ha! So that was it! Mikoto was just protecting himself! Her face lit up and she giggled at her son.

"If I had met and loved Sesshomaru back then," she grinned wickedly, "I wouldn't have had those human lovers, and you would never have been born. That's it, isn't it, Darling?"

All eyes turned to Mikoto, who seemed a bit too interested in his tea. After a few moments in which nobody so much as twitched, he looked up and into his mother's eager eyes. "That is a major consideration, yes."

Hisui giggled and turned her maniacal gaze on Inu Yasha, delighted by how quickly he recovered from that initial look of abject panic he'd just shown. "And you and your cute, little girlfriend travel freely between this time and that one!"

"Don't go there, Hisui," Sesshomaru warned in a low, dangerous tone. "You can't change the past."

Hisui turned very slowly to face him, a deadly gleam in her glowing eyes and two of her sharp fangs showing through her tight smile. "Why not? Don't you want me to have returned your love for the last four hundred years? Be your mate? Bear your pups? It would be a powerful merger of North and West—even Naraku couldn't have stood against us. No one could have stood against us, even your stubborn little brother."

Inu Yasha looked anxiously at Sesshomaru to see his reaction. The demon lord sat back in his chair and looked out into the pub, rather than meet Hisui's eyes. "You already exist in the past, Hisui," he said quietly. A pained expression crossed his face but only for an instant, then it was gone, replaced by his usual bored look. "Anyway, I'm a different man than I was then. I don't think you would've wanted the young Sesshomaru."

"Nor would you have wanted the young Hisui," Mikoto interjected quietly with a dark look for his mother.

Hisui growled at him. "You didn't know me then!"

Mikoto didn't reply.

Inu Yasha shifted uncomfortably in his chair and looked from one demon to the other, winding up with Hisui. "Nothing you can say or do will convince Kagome or me to take you into the past, so forget about it."

Sesshomaru ran a gentle claw along Hisui's cheek, startling her out of replying to Inu Yasha. "Modern physics theorizes that two versions of you can't exist in the same space and time without negating your own existence. Would you want to take that risk? Just to be with me for a few centuries more? We have the future, Hisui, be content with that. If you destroy yourself…" he let the thought trail off unfinished.

"Is that your only reason to go back in time?" Mikoto asked and pointed at Sesshomaru. "For him?"

Hisui looked away and replied in and awkward voice: "I—I want the power, of course. The power that would come from combining the North and West," she twisted her napkin in her hands. "And—and my children wouldn't be—" she glared up at Mikoto suddenly, "and I wouldn't have had to endure the humiliation of …" she looked away again at the pain in her son's eyes.

"Demons wouldn't have you, would they?" The ever-tactful Inu Yasha snorted. "I've heard that rum—"

"They were all afraid of me!" Hisui shot back and threw her napkin in his face.

Inu Yasha pulled the napkin away. "And humans weren't? I'd think humans would be more afraid of you than demons would be."

She growled. He did his impression of Shippo's innocent look. Mikoto sighed. Sesshomaru got up to leave, taking hold of Hisui's wrist as he rose. "Your past means nothing to me. Let's go. I need to arrange a tux for Inu Yasha so he won't embarrass me at the Mermaid Ball. Your advice would be invaluable."  
Hisui looked angry, then confused, then she lowered her eyes with a flirty little smile. "Shouldn't Inu Yasha come along to try it on, Darling?"

Sesshomaru let his hand slip from her wrist into her hand and looked over his shoulder at his brother. "Inu Yasha, go have a bath and come back in two hours. Have the lobby ring me before you come up."

Inu Yasha was staring at their linked hands when he nodded. Then Sesshomaru led Hisui out of the pub, leaving Inu Yasha alone with Mikoto Asano. A few awkward moments passed, then Mikoto cleared his throat and said: "So, you're working for Sesshomaru now. If you change your mind, here's my card. Call me, and we'll talk." He slid a small, parchment-colored card across the table. "By no means should you ever consider working for Hisui Oukami, no matter what her threats or offers of reimbursement."

With that, he got up and left. Inu Yasha sat and contemplated his card, not really seeing the characters, both familiar and strange, that were printed on it. He would never let Hisui get through the well, no matter what threats she made, and neither would Kagome. He'd warn her when he got back to the condo. Did Hisui really want to go back just to meet Sesshomaru and avoid ever breeding with humans? He thought the power-grab thing sounded more plausible, and yet… the look on her face and the tone of her voice had been so painful. Was his big brother really such a godsend that Hisui was willing to mess with the order of time to include him in more of her life? How much had Sesshomaru changed, anyway?

After a while, Inu Yasha realized the waiter was standing at his elbow, waiting to be noticed. When Inu Yasha looked up at him, the young man smiled and asked politely: "Who's account shall I charge this to, Sir?"

Inu Yasha tucked Mikoto's card into his pocket and rose to leave. As he passed the waiter on the way out, he said with an evil grin: "Charge it to Hisui Oukami."


	26. Chapter 26

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Twenty Six

Inu Yasha paused outside the condo with his hand on the doorknob. Something felt strange. What was it? He let go of the knob, then gripped it again and flung open the door with enough force to make it slam into the back wall and almost swing back into his face. He sniffed, listened. His shoulders sagged. Oh. That was it. No one was home. The place was empty. He spied a note with his name written on it in big, red characters propped up against a glass on the counter top, pushed the door shut and went to read the rest of the note.

"We went shopping in town," read the note, "back in a few hours." At the bottom were the names Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, Sango, Yuki, Shunusuke and Myouga. Inu Yasha threw the note back onto the counter with a derisive snort. What in the world could a flea want with fancy dress up clothes? It wasn't as if he actually had anyone he could dance with tomorrow night. He was a flea! Probably just didn't want to be left out.

Inu Yasha headed for the bathroom, stripping off his shirt as he went. He dumped it and the rest of his clothes into the hamper, then went into the next room to fill the tub and start washing himself before having a well-earned soak. After sniffing several bars of soap, he decided upon a woody scented one, then got to work on his gritty skin. As he washed, he found himself wondering what kind of outfit Kagome would buy for the ball, only to realize his imagination had no raw material to work with when he tried to picture what passed for formal wear in this time. Judging from the rest of the clothes he'd seen, it would probably be nothing like what he knew back home. And just what in the hell was a tuxedo? Men's formal dress, obviously, but what did it look like? And why did it need to be fitted? He hoped it wasn't supposed to be tight. One night in tight pants had been quite enough for him, thank you (though Kagome had seemed to like it).

He turned on the shower hose and rinsed himself off, then slipped into the bath, unable to wait until it had finished filling, and closed his eyes with a sigh. He imagined Kagome in layer upon layer of silk kimono, each as bright as a jewel. The topmost one was misty pink with big, white chrysanthemums on it. Her hair was done up with gold and mother of pearl combs and ornaments, and she wore the Jewel of Four Souls about her neck—a larger pearl on a string of smaller ones. He was in formal kimono, his father's crest on the breast and back of the shirt, the Tetsusaiga at his waist. His hair was in a ponytail, like a samurai.

"Mmm…that's how it should be…" he thought with smile.

Kagome looked at him shyly, her pretty, painted mouth hidden behind her fan. As he took her hand, music began—not that loud stuff Shunusuke played, but the sort of music his mother had played for him, the kind that was heard in a royal court. Around them, he saw their friends, all in formal kimono. Even Miroku's robes looked rich and well-made. Inu Yasha forced himself not to imagine anyone else there, especially not his brother or Hisui or those infernal kitsune. There was a light fragrance of flowers in the air all around Kagome, and soon she was all he could see: Just her dewy eyes, perfect face and heart-stopping smile. They danced as they had at the shindig, something people in his time would have found appalling, but the incongruity didn't bother him at all. He could almost feel the silk of her kimono beneath his hands and beneath that, her warm, soft curves.

The water level felt high enough, but rather than break out of his fantasy, Inu Yasha switched off the faucets with his toes (and felt pretty proud of his own dexterity). Suddenly, he groaned and thought miserably: "Why does that stupid dance have to be tomorrow night? Why can't it be tonight? Or the next night? It's not fair!" He knew he had to go home, it was the only way to escape detection and prying questions. It occurred to him again that this was information Sesshomaru would probably want to have sooner or later so he could plan his brother's assignments around it. Maybe he could hide it from Sesshomaru until they finished gathering the Jewel shards, and he became human full-time.

GASP! Inu Yasha realized what he'd just thought and sunk into the water up to his eyeballs in shock. There'd been no indecisiveness in that thought, no wondering if going human was what he really wanted. Just a definite "when he became human full-time. " He blew bubbles as the princely Inu Yasha in his daydream went from demon to human in a blink.

"I'm still handsome like that," he thought, trying to bolster his spirits as he came up for air. "But does Kagome think so? She's seen me human…she never said anything, though." He sunk and blew bubbles again. What if Kagome liked him better this way? After all, it was a half-demon she'd fallen for, not a human! Ok, what if he went for full-demon? As he surfaced, he imagined himself with his father's distinctive face markings (which Sesshomaru had gotten) and Sesshomaru's smugly disinterested expression.

"GAH! That's awful!" He splashed the far wall as if to wash away that unpleasant fantasy. Ugh. If he did become a full-demon, he'd never make that Sesshomaru face! What did Hisui see in that guy, anyway? Furthermore, what did Sesshomaru see in a childish bitch like her? Hisui whined more than a baby with soiled swaddling (and Sesshomaru's face always looked like he was smelling it). Inu Yasha giggled at that and returned to happier thoughts.

What if he did decide to become fully human after they had the Jewel and had destroyed Naraku (there was no doubt in his mind that they'd do that)? Would Kagome agree to marry him, or would she make him wait? If what Sesshomaru had said was true, she wouldn't make him wait—but how old were they when Sesshomaru allegedly saw Kagome pregnant? "Feh! That's just bullshit he made up to scare her! Pregnant! Ha!" Yeah, right. Kagome wasn't like that. She'd wait till she married, he was sure of it. So…were they married when Sesshomaru—ACK! He had to stop thinking about that!

Too late. The Kagome in his daydream now had a big belly pushing out the silks under her obi. She still looked cute, though, he thought with a smirk. Ok, thought Inu Yasha, if Kagome was a mother, then maybe… "Heh. Perfect." Now Yuki and Sango were "out to there", too, and married to Miroku and Shunusuke, respectively. One big, happy family. Except Shippo, who was too young to take a mate, of course. "Oh, what the hell!" Inu Yasha threw in a very pregnant Hisui and married her to Sesshomaru, then knocked up Gin and paired her with Shinnai (so what if he couldn't stand her). Mikoto and his wife—the woman in Yuki's picture—showed up, but she wasn't pregnant, since she'd looked too old for that to him. Mikoto was furious that Yuki had married beneath her station, and Shunusuke had married a demon hunter—but he was happy about grandchildren.

Up on the roof, Gin wondered what was so damn funny in there.

* * *

Jaken hid behind a tree and watched the kitsune woman sit on the roof of Asano's house and get more and more vexed. What was she doing up there? And what had her so frustrated? She certainly couldn't be stuck up there. As soon as she tapped her ear, he had his answer: She was spying on his master's brother. This was not good. How long had she been doing that? He squinted at her, trying to remember if he'd ever seen her in Lady Hisui's company. No, never. One of Mikoto Asano's, then. Well, Lord Sesshomaru wouldn't be pleased if he knew about this. Jaken reached into his coat for his cell phone, then hesitated. A memory had just resurfaced, a memory of Inu Yasha's woman grinding her foot into his face. She'd done that far too many times, in fact. He took his hand out of his coat and started to walk away and leave the kitsune to her spying, then stopped. Lord Sesshomaru would want to know Asano was poking his nose into his business.

"Fine!" Jaken muttered under his breath and made the call. He decided revenge would have to wait until he could be sure it wouldn't anger his master. "You owe me, Inu Yasha!"

* * *

Inu Yasha answered the door with a towel wrapped around his waist, thinking it must be his friends returned home early until he got a whiff of what lay beyond as he opened the door. He started to slam it in Jaken's face, then remembered the two of them were working for the same jerk and stopped himself. "It hasn't been two hours yet," he began as Jaken walked between his legs and went to perch himself on one of the living room chairs. He held a finger to his lips to silence Inu Yasha, then jabbed a thumb at the ceiling. He handed Inu Yasha a note, then held the finger to his lips again with a meaningful glare.

Inu Yasha read it. He snarled up at the ceiling, then returned the note to Jaken. "Get off my roof, Gin, you nosy bitch, or I'll have Kagome put a collar on you again!"

Jaken buried his face in his hands. "You moron—Wait. Did you just say Kagome put a collar on her?"

Inu Yasha grinned from ear to ear.

"I told you," Gin growled as she appeared behind Inu Yasha, "I'm a vixen, not a bitch."

"Yip!"

Inu Yasha spun around and swatted her groping hand away from his butt, but not fast enough to prevent her from getting a claw into the towel. When her hand went, so did the towel. Inu Yasha's hands flew south to cover himself, and his face turned bright red as both Jaken and Gin had a good laugh at his expense.

"Nice ass, kit!" Gin giggled and teased him by waving the towel just within his reach, forcing him to make a choice between exposing himself long enough to grab the towel or just ignoring her.

He chose to grab the towel, then ignore her. She wouldn't let him do either. "Ooh! Not bad, not bad! And to think I'd always heard half-bloods were inferior. My, oh, my was I wrong!"

"SHUT UP!" Inu Yasha tried to get past her and into his bedroom to find something to wear, but she just disappeared and reappeared in his path.  
"I think she was complimenting you," Jaken snorted.

Inu Yasha didn't hear him. He was too busy trying to shred Gin's hide and cover himself at the same time. She waved the towel between them and said: "Toro! Toro!" as she blocked his path—darting right to cover one bedroom, then left to cover the bathroom, then the other bedroom, then back again.

At last, Inu Yasha could take it no more. With a mighty roar, he let go of himself, grabbed her by the hair and smashed his forehead into hers with enough force to make both their heads spin. Gin went down with a little trickle of blood on her forehead and a mumbled: "…can't take a joke…" Triumphant, Inu Yasha reclaimed his towel, stepped over her into the bedroom, and closed the door to get dressed.

Outside, Jaken checked to make sure Gin was still alive and wasn't entirely sure it pleased him to know she was. He looked at the bedroom door and shook his head. What had Lord Sesshomaru been thinking when he'd hired that loose canon? Oh the humiliation of it all, having to work with the disgusting whelp who'd embarrassed and abused him time and again centuries ago. And being the master's brother, Inu Yasha would probably enjoy a nice, high status—the sort of status he, Jaken, had worked for, and Inu Yasha had not! Hmph. Maybe Lord Sesshomaru would remember his old hatred for his brother and force Inu Yasha to start at the very bottom, just like everyone else. Perhaps, Lord Sesshomaru would even put his faithful Jaken in charge of the little bastard! Jaken positively trembled with glee at the very idea of being able to give orders to Inu Yasha and punish him when he disobeyed. Ooh! Or he could use the boy's ignorance of this modern world to make a fool out of him! Sweet.

The ringing of his cellular phone popped his wet dream like a bubble. "It's me."

"Jaken," Sesshomaru asked, "did you get rid of the kitsune?"

Jaken looked down at Gin's unconscious form. From the other side of the door, Inu Yasha giggled smugly. "Not as such, My Lord, but she's not listening to us anymore."

"Explain."

"Inu Yasha head-butted her, and she's currently lying unconscious at my feet," Jaken replied with a weary little sigh. "My Lord, are you sure hiring him was a good idea? He seems a bit, um, irrational."

Sesshomaru chuckled darkly. "You're questioning my judgment, Jaken."

"N-n-no, My Lord!" Jaken hastened to apologize. "I was just saying that Lord Inu Yasha might have certain…personality flaws—YIKE!"

Inu Yasha threw open the door and grabbed Jaken around the neck with one hand and the cell phone with the other. "I don't have personality flaws!" He shouted at Jaken and into the phone at the same time. He shook his brother's servant until Jaken started turning colors. "And even if I do, Sesshomaru's got 'em, too, since we come from the same stock! Are you saying Sesshomaru's got personality flaws, toad?"

Jaken coughed. "I rest…my case…"

"AND WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Inu Yasha shook Jaken so hard the little demon passed out. "Oops." He threw Jaken across the room where he landed in a chair.

On the phone, Sesshomaru was almost frantic (almost, that is). "Inu Yasha, answer me! 'Oops' what? What did you just do?! Jaken!"

Inu Yasha cleared his throat and composed himself before holding the phone near his face and telling his brother very calmly: "Jaken had a little accident, but he'll be just fine in a few hours…days…maybe—"

Sesshomaru growled. "'Maybe'…?"

Inu Yasha coughed. "Probably." Pause. "Hang on." He walked over to the chair and examined Jaken for signs of life and/or a broken neck. "He's alive, and his neck's not broken. Damn the luck."

"Damn you if he was dead," Sesshomaru warned in a terrifying tone that put a chill down Inu Yasha's spine, "or had a broken neck. I pulled your ass out of the fire today, brother, and Jaken just pulled it out again. The least you could do is not kill him for it."

Rat smelly bastard, Inu Yasha thought. What he said was: "I said he'll recover."

"Say you're sorry," Sesshomaru hissed, "and I might overlook this."

"Like hell I'll—"

"How much do you think Gin heard?" Sesshomaru asked coolly, cutting off Inu Yasha's retort abruptly. Silence greeted his question. Good, Inu Yasha was thinking about it. "What have you people been discussing in there that might be useful to Asano? He was a little too accepting of our arrangement, didn't you think?" More thoughtful silence. "Don't imagine his relationship with Hisui is as distant as he makes it appear, brother."

"You think he's actually working with Hisui against me?" Inu Yasha countered skeptically. "Why? The Jewel? I thought he'd given up on it, and you were talking Hisui out of it."

Sesshomaru gave a short, disgusted chuckle. "Hisui was too easily convinced. I changed her mind in a matter of minutes. She acted as if she'd never seriously intended to make a play for the Jewel." He growled. "I know her well enough to know how suspicious that is."

Inu Yasha smirked and joked humorlessly: "Must suck not to be able trust your own girlfriend."

Another dry chuckle. "And I suppose you trust yours unquestioningly? What does she think of you always chasing after her rival whenever Kikyou appears?"

Inu Yasha bit his lip and snarled: "That's none of your business!"

"She's jealous, I imagine," Sesshomaru went on, twisting the knife a little more. "I have no rivals in Hisui's mind. This is a wonderful turn of events for me, since for centuries I had an endless stream of rivals for her affections—human rivals, Inu Yasha. Have you any idea how humiliating that is?"

"Don't know, don't care," Inu Yasha muttered. Then suddenly he changed his tune and asked: "What became of Kikyou in the end? Will you tell me that?"

Pause. "Not 'what became of Kagome in the end'?"

Ka-thump! Did something bad happen to Kagome? That possibility had never occurred to him. That Kagome wouldn't be with him till the end of their quest, that both of them wouldn't survive to marry and live happily ever after (albeit with him working for Sesshomaru)—that had never once entered his mind. Not even when she was in the gravest danger. Somehow, some way, he'd always known she'd be ok. "What happens to Kagome, Sesshomaru? And don't give me any of your lying bullshit, either! I want the truth!"

"Pick one," his brother replied, obviously enjoying the aggravation he was causing, "Kikyou or Kagome. Whose fate means the most to you?"

"Whose fate do you know?"

There was a brief pause, then Sesshomaru laughed. "Well said, little brother. The truth is…"

Inu Yasha sucked in his breath and waited impatiently for his brother to finish his sentence.

"The truth is, I can't tell you what happened in the past, lest it affect your actions when you return to it."

"Bastard." Inu Yasha grouched.

To which Sesshomaru replied: "And which of us is the Great Demon of the Western Lands: The legitimately born son, or the bastard? In the end, birthright doesn't mean much, does it? Have you had your bath?"

"What?" Inu Yasha was thoroughly taken aback by Sesshomaru's sudden shifting of gears. "Y-yeah. I'm not letting you cut my hair, if that's what you want me to do now."

"Again with the hair fetish…" Sesshomaru sighed irritably. "I said a small trim, nothing more. Get over it."

"No. I've changed my mind: No trim." Inu Yasha grinned. "Get over it."

Sesshomaru muttered a stream of colorful invectives before ending with: "Dammit, Inu Yasha, if I say you're getting a haircut, you're getting a fucking haircut! Now dump the kitsune someplace and get over here! And bring Jaken with you."

Their wills battled across the airwaves for several more minutes until Sesshomaru threatened to cut him loose and make him fair game for Hisui and Mikoto again. Finally, Inu Yasha gave in and followed orders, feeling the agony of it all the while.

Sesshomaru's comments about humans and bloodlines made up Inu Yasha's mind: He'd hide his secret from his brother for as long as he possibly could. Meanwhile, he'd invent a suitably urgent reason to go home, which would hopefully get him out of the haircut as well as being seen as a human by his enemies. He wouldn't need a trim to go back in time, right? Maybe if he argued enough, Sesshomaru would decide forcing him to cut his hair was more trouble than it was worth and just give up on the idea. And maybe grass would grow out of the sky, and Yuki Asano would hate men.

He left Gin on the beach and headed for the Green Mermaid on foot, carrying Jaken under one arm like a melon. He chose to walk instead of fly because that way he'd have more time to think up a plan for getting out of going to the ball without making Sesshomaru suspicious or having to take Kagome with him. She at least should be allowed to have fun, even if it meant dancing with Shunusuke or Miroku, or someone like that. He had to laugh at himself: Just five days ago he couldn't stand the idea of Kagome having fun without him, especially not in the company of another male. She'd insist on going with him, of course, to make his departure more believable, but that would mean taking the others home, too. He didn't want to spoil their good time, either. It was good to see Sango so happy (and flattered by Shunusuke's attention, though she wouldn't admit it), and Miroku, as well. The monk was positively delirious with joy at having found a woman who'd sleep with him, even if she wouldn't agree to bear his child. Inu Yasha had a feeling Miroku hoped an accident would happen, and Yuki would get pregnant. What would Miroku do when it was time to leave? He couldn't very well take Yuki with him and he couldn't stay here because of his need to avenge his family on Naraku. Would Yuki wait for him? Hmph! Inu Yasha didn't think that girl was the type to carry a torch for any man. Well, if she hurt his friend's feelings, that slutty bitch would have to deal with him! Unless Miroku stopped him again.

No, he had to go alone. The only other person he'd consider taking with him was Myouga but he doubted the flea would go if it seemed Inu Yasha was heading into great danger. So what excuse could he make that wouldn't make his friends feel they had to come along to help him? SIGH!

Or should he just fess up to Sesshomaru and let big brother handle inventing an alibi for him? Presumably, Sesshomaru had more experience dealing with Hisui's Jedi mind tricks and would be able to fool her. Even if he couldn't, Inu Yasha would already be in the past where the Great Demon of the North couldn't get to him.

Inu Yasha paused. She could still get to whoever was left behind, couldn't she? Kagome, her family, their friends. How far would Hisui go to get the Jewel? Inu Yasha agreed with Sesshomaru: Hisui hadn't given up on taking the Jewel, not by any stretch of the imagination.

"BOO!"

"SHIT!" Inu Yasha spun about, ready for a fight, then saw who it was and relaxed with a disgusted snarl. "Go away!" He snapped and turned his back on Shinai to carry on toward the hotel.

Naturally, Shinai didn't go away. "I saw Gin back there," he said companionably as he trotted next to Inu Yasha. "Your work, I assume? Nice job."

"Bugger off."

Shinai grinned. "I hear you're working for Sesshomaru now. Sucks to be you."

Inu Yasha stopped to glare at the kitsune, who ignored him in favor of Jaken. Tapping Jaken's head with one claw, he giggled: "Did you do him, too? Bet Sesshomaru was pissed!"

"Get lost!"

Shinai's grin broadened. "I have information you might want—"

"I doubt it," Inu Yasha growled and started walking again, Shinai still pacing him.

"Tachimora's back."

Inu Yasha stopped in his tracks. "You're lying."

"Nope. Saw him talking to Mikoto a few minutes ago." Shinai hopped in front of Inu Yasha to get a good look at his reaction and was a bit disappointed to see the demon wasn't buying his story.

"The hell you say." Inu Yasha walked around Shinai with a dangerous glare. Then he thought about it: Mikoto supposedly made Tachimora "disappear", so presumably he could make him "reappear". If what Shinai said was true, this was a very alarming development, indeed. He stopped walking again. "Mikoto brought him back?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

Shinai shrugged. "From the conversation I overheard, I think he's here to mess with your girlfriend so you'll give Mikoto those Jewel shards you have."

So Mikoto wasn't giving up, either. What an idiot. All that bullshit about not wanting the Jewel because he'd have to fight Naraku… This was getting pretty old. "What does Hisui that?"

Shinai had to get in front of Inu Yasha again to make the other demon look at him. "I haven't told her yet. I thought you'd find the information more useful, and anyway, Hisui's on my shit list."

"I'm sure she's heartbroken." Inu Yasha shifted Jaken to his other arm and regarded Shinai for a few moments. "You know what I think's gonna happen next?"  
Shinai raised an eyebrow. "Enlighten me, O wise Buddha."

"Your stupid brother's gonna show up and tell me how he saw Tachimora talking to Hisui and that he didn't tell Mikoto because he thought I'd find the information more useful."  
Shinai scratched behind one ear as he considered that, then suddenly looked up with a happy grin and a shrug. "Maybe, but he'd be lying. I'm not."

Inu Yasha rolled his eyes. "Sure you're not. Did he have any of his useless friends with him, or was it just him and Mikoto having a little chat?"

The kitsune shook his head. "I only saw Tachi and Mikoto, no friends." He grinned again. "That doesn't mean they're not around."

"They're nothing," Inu Yasha walked around Shinai and resumed his trek to the hotel. This time, Shinai didn't follow him.

"Just thought you'd like to know!" He called.

In spite of himself, Inu Yasha stopped and turned around. "What do you care, huh? Why are you telling me this? What's the catch?"

Shinai shrugged. "I haven't thought of one yet, but if you really want one, I'll think about it and get back to you, ok?"

"Don't trouble yourself."

As Inu Yasha started walking again, Shinai added more quietly: "Mikoto told him Kagome could be found in Tokyo with Yuki and Shunusuke."

Inu Yasha forced himself to keep walking. "Tokyo's a big city, and Kagome's with friends. Dangerous friends."

"Shopping," Shinai said cheerfully. "Big groups often split up to shop."

"Very dangerous friends," Inu Yasha shot back, "experienced fighters. Nice try."

"So you'll let someone other than you protect Kagome?" Shinai called after him.

Five days ago, no he wouldn't have. Today was different. Today he was confident of Kagome's feelings for him. He knew Kagome could defend herself (though not as well as, say, Sango could), and that their mutual friends would protect each other. Inu Yasha smiled and just kept right on walking. "You worry too much, fox."

That obviously was not the answer Shinai had expected. He stood in the sand and pouted for a few seconds, watching Inu Yasha walk away from him with Jaken under his arm. If he wasn't so frustrated, he'd find that image pretty funny. "So, you're just going to let her get attacked, then?"

"Are you still following me?!" Inu Yasha retorted without turning. Inwardly, he was feeling pretty pleased with himself for not rising to the kitsune's attempts to bait him. Probably there was no Tachi hanging about, but just in case, Inu Yasha decided he'd stay sharp. He also thought it might not be a bad idea to tell his new employer about his adventures with Tachimora. Keep Sesshomaru in the loop, so Hisui and Mikoto couldn't make him look clueless. "Oh, gods, listen to me!" He moaned inwardly. "I'm actually trying to give him an edge."

After a few minutes of hearing nothing from Shinai, Inu Yasha looked behind him to find to his satisfaction that the kitsune was gone.

* * *

"Hisui told me about your run-in with Tachimora," Sesshomaru explained as he stood back to look at Inu Yasha in his tuxedo, "but she was more interested in Yuki's display of power than your part in it. I didn't think much of him, since you seemed to have him well under control." He adjusted the shoulders of the jacket, then buttoned it to see how much extra room was left over. "I wondered if Mikoto had merely banished the kid, or if he was holding him in reserve to make him an offer later." He stepped back to look at the effect. "This isn't as bad a fit as I'd thought it would be. I don't think we'll have to take it in at all. Have you put on weight, Brother?"

"Very funny," Inu Yasha grumbled. "Do you think Shinai was lying?"

Sesshomaru shrugged. "Whether he is or not isn't as important as why he thought he should come to you with the information instead of going straight to Hisui."

"How do you know he didn't?" Inu Yasha countered. "Maybe he was acting on her orders."

Sesshomaru thought about it. "Perhaps, but Hisui isn't speaking to Shinai. In fact, the last time he tried to approach her, she almost clawed his eyes out—"

"Hmph! A display for your benefit, maybe," Inu Yasha snorted as he turned before the full-length mirror and checked himself out in a tuxedo. What a silly garment, he thought. "I look ridiculous."

"You look fabulous," Sesshomaru argued. "Women love a man in a tuxedo, trust me. And getting back to the issue at hand, I wasn't there when she clawed him. I heard the hotel staff talking about it. But you have a valid point."

Inu Yasha held his hair in a ponytail to see what it looked like that way, then let it loose again. "Like I said, it must suck not to be able to trust your girlfriend. Are you sure she's in love with you?"

Sesshomaru smiled. "Positive. We're demons, Inu Yasha, we don't have tame human blood to temper our personalities."  
Inu Yasha suspected that was supposed to be an insult but he was on a roll with rising above cretins who tried to bait him, so he let it slide. Besides, he still hadn't come up with a good excuse not to be around for the Mermaid Ball. This thing with Tachi would certainly complicate matters if it was true, since there was no way he'd leave Kagome here with that scumbag running around. He could wing it, pretend he planned to go to the ball, then skip out when an opportunity presented itself—no, there'd be too many questions, and someone would surely try to stop him, someone who might see him start to change. He looked at his brother in the mirror and found Sesshomaru was watching him, as well.

"You're worried," Sesshomaru said simply. "You can't possibly be afraid of that human."

Inu Yasha growled and shook his head. "Of course not! I can handle him, no problem. It's the other bastards I'm worried about: Hisui, Mikoto and the fools they've got working for them." He turned to face Sesshomaru with a sigh. "I can't go to the ball tomorrow night, Brother. There's just no way I can do it."

"Because it's your time of the month?"

Blink. Blink. "Wha—"

"I was hoping you'd confide in me on your own," Sesshomaru drawled as he went to sit at the little table by the window. He offered one of the other chairs to Inu Yasha, who hesitated, then sat down in a daze. "I caught you once, a long time ago, just as you were changing. I would have taken advantage of my good fortune, but your friends interfered, and I was forced to retreat." He smiled and rested his chin on his palm. "I've been trying to recall what the circumstances were ever since we met again the other day. Then last night, I looked up into the night sky and remembered: There'd been no moon that long ago night." He tapped his temple with one, long, clawed finger. "Of course, my reasons until this evening were quite different than they are now. Now I'm your employer who needs that information for scheduling purposes, then I wanted it in case I had to fight you again."

Inu Yasha growled deep in his chest. His eyes blazed as he glared into his brother's face. "Hisui stays with you in this room, right? How do I know she can't listen to us, like Mikoto's kitsune did at the condo?"

Sesshomaru sat back in his chair and frowned. "Counter intelligence, of course. She bugged the room, I installed blocking devices, then she ripped out my devices, so I ripped out hers. At last check—which was just after she left this evening—my devices were in place and operational. She can't hear us."

Inu Yasha looked around, trying to see some sign of these devices Sesshomaru was talking about but he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Then again, he hadn't noticed anything strange in the condo, either (unless one counted Gin and Jaken).

"You won't find them," his brother told him, "that's the whole point: They're supposed to be undetectable."

Well, no shit. Inu Yasha felt his cheeks getting warmer and was furious that he was blushing in front of Sesshomaru. But his brother was apparently feeling gracious that evening (that or being his employee entitled one to better treatment than being his brother did).

"I didn't expect you to know that," Sesshomaru said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Then he smiled. "But you will in time. For now, we need to think about tomorrow night."

Inu Yasha wasn't looking at him. "I'm open to suggestions."

"Go home," Sesshomaru replied without hesitation. "It's the one place none of them can spy you out. Do it in the middle of the day, in case someone tries to interfere with your escape. I'll do my part to keep the competition amused while you make your getaway."

Inu Yasha absently scratched the tabletop with his claws as he replied: "I don't want to leave Kagome here if Tachimora really has come back, but I don't want her to miss the ball." He looked up suddenly, startling Sesshomaru with the intensity of the emotion in his eyes. "She came here to have a relaxing holiday away from danger and adventure, and I've already ruined it for her ten times over. Ever since I got here, she's either been in danger or totally embarrassed because of me. I just want something to go right for her this week, and if she has to go back home with me, it'll be one more thing she couldn't do with her friends because of me."

His brother regarded him thoughtfully. "You seemed to be having a good time last night…"

"I screwed it up later."

Somehow, Sesshomaru wasn't in the least bit surprised by that confession. "How do you plan to keep her from following you?"

"Huh?" Inu Yasha blinked at him. Why would Kagome follow him into the past when she was on vacation and had a formal dance to go to? Surely she'd understand why he had to leave and would stay behind if he insisted she have fun with her friends, like she'd wanted to from the start. "Um…I'll explain it to her. She'll understand."

Sesshomaru gave him an incredulous look. "Inu Yasha, what would you do in her place? You'd follow her no matter how vehemently she insisted you stay behind. Can you honestly expect her to just let you go?"

"It's not like I'm leaving forever!"

The Great Demon sighed and rubbed his temples, fighting down that little twinge of a headache that dealing with his brother always gave him. Sometimes the boy could be absolutely clueless. "Let me put this plainly: She probably doesn't want to go to the ball if she can't dance with you all night. There. Does that make sense to you?"

Inu Yasha bit his lip. He didn't have to make him feel so stupid about it. Of course Kagome didn't want to go to the ball with anybody else, but Inu Yasha was sure she'd regret it if she didn't go anyway. And then who'd get blamed for it? He would, and he'd never hear the end of it, if not from Kagome, then from the others. Miroku would definitely tell him how unromantic he was and how he'd spoiled Kagome's plans.

"Do your friends know about your time of the month?"

Inu Yasha nodded.

"Would you rather go to the ball with Kagome?"

Another nod. "But there's no way. I can't let anyone else see me like that!" All of a sudden he remembered the story of Cinderella that the Asanos had told him when they were nursing Keiichi and Karami at the condo. Cinderella had a fairy godmother, who used her magic to transform Cinderella from a scullery maid into a princess. He had a very amusing mental image of Sesshomaru weaving a magic spell about him like a fairy godbrother and making him look like his normal self, instead of like a human.

He narrowed his eyes at Sesshomaru and decided: What the hell. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. "I don't suppose you have any magic that can disguise me for the night, do you?"

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and sighed. "Like Cinderella—I guess you don't know that one, sorry."

"She was a drudge with a fairy godmother, who turned her into a princess so she could go to the ball," Inu Yasha recited smugly, "but at midnight she turned back into a drudge and had to run away before anybody saw her."

"Oh," Sesshomaru blinked. "Right. Well, I'm not your fairy godmother, and even if we could disguise your appearance, nothing can hide how you feel to other demons. You'll still feel like a human, no matter what you look like."

Inu Yasha's ears drooped. He'd forgotten about that. Even his scent changed on that day—oh shit. That was another problem: The change actually started in the late afternoon. Any demon with a decent sense of smell would realize he didn't smell like a youkai anymore. Well, there was nothing for it: He had to go back in time. All that remained was to break it to Kagome and talk her out of going with him.

"I guess I'm going home, then," he declared grimly. "Now all I have to do is convince Kagome to stay behind."

"I still say you're missing the point," Sesshomaru sighed. "Kagome wants to be with you, be it at a ball or on the other side of the well."

Inu Yasha looked away, out the window at the darkening sky and wondered if Kagome had returned with her new outfit. It had probably cost her a lot of money. No, she'd probably brought a dress with her and had only tagged along to help Sango pick something out. After all, she'd known about the ball when she came here. Well, Sango had to stay, then, and Miroku, so he could dance with Yuki.

"Don't stop her if she wants to go with you, Brother."

Inu Yasha shook his head. "If Kagome goes, the others will go, too." He ran his fingers through his hair (which still hadn't gotten that trim) and scratched himself behind one ear. "They all went shopping this evening to get Sango a pretty dress for tomorrow night. She doesn't have anybody, since Naraku destroyed her village. She just has us, and we're always dragging her into fights, so she never gets to just be a girl. Now she's got this guy who wants her, a fancy party where she can dance with him, and a nice outfit to do it in. But if Kagome and I go home, she'll go with us, since she can't get through the well without the Jewel, and she doesn't have a piece of it." He sighed. "And Miroku's finally found a girl who'll sleep with him. This is his big chance to show her she means more to him than sex—or at least, make her believe that. Practically all they've done since they met was have sex."

Sesshomaru couldn't believe what he was hearing. Inu Yasha seemed more concerned about his friends' happiness than his own safety. Wonders really never ceased.

"But I definitely can't stay."

Sesshomaru nodded. "Agreed." He pushed himself out of his chair with a grin for his brother. "Since I'm feeling generous, I won't make you get a hair cut tonight. Now go break the news to Kagome—but make sure you do it with this switched on." He took a small, silver disc out of his pocket and pressed it into Inu Yasha's palm. "Lift this by pressing on it," he demonstrated by pressing down on the top of the disc, causing a tiny lid to pop up on a hinge. Under it were two buttons, a green one and a red one. "Green means 'on', red means 'off'. When you're ready to talk to Kagome, press the green button. When you've finished your conversation, press the red one. Got that?"

Inu Yasha looked from the device to his brother. "This is one of those blocking things you use against Hisui, isn't it?"

Sesshomaru nodded.

Inu Yasha grinned broadly. He closed the lid, stood up and slipped the disc into his pocket. "Cool."

"Don't leave it on too long, or Mikoto will get suspicious and compensate," Sesshomaru warned. "It's very important that you remember that, Inu Yasha. And don't let anyone know you have that. Don't talk about it to anyone unless the device is switched on." Satisfied that Inu Yasha understood, Sesshomaru directed him to the door. "I want that back next time we meet, so take good care of it. It's expensive and extremely delicate."

Inu Yasha left his brother's presence, still not sure how he was going to get home without arousing suspicion and without his friends tagging along. Then there was the matter of Tachi weighing heavily on his mind. The memory of that bastard kissing Kagome was still fresh in his mind and made his blood boil even as he galloped down the stairs to the hotel lobby. If Tachimora really had returned, Kagome needed to know, so she could decide if she felt safer staying here or going home with him. Maybe Sesshomaru was right, and Kagome really wouldn't want to go to the ball unless he would be there, too. That made him smile all the way through the lobby and out the doors to the beach.

Right past Tachimora, who was just checking in and had his back to the lobby, so he didn't see Inu Yasha, either. His companion felt Inu Yasha pass but didn't turn around. Mikoto Asano smirked and plunked down his credit card to pay for his new employee's stay.


	27. Chapter 27

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Twenty Seven

Inu Yasha sat alone on the beach in the dark with his knees tucked up to his chin and watched the waves wash over the shore. He was aware of at least three people watching him, and only one of them was friendly. That was Kagome, standing on the porch, letting him have his space. Gin was back on the roof, having not learned her lesson at all, and was listening to whatever conversations were going on inside. The crew from the past were under strictest orders not to mention, nor ever refer to, the significance of the New Moon to Inu Yasha on pain of clawing, so Gin probably wasn't hearing anything useful. The third watcher concerned Inu Yasha most, since his presence confirmed Shinai's claims, which Inu Yasha had most sincerely hoped were lies: Tachi was back. Strangely, he seemed content to sit atop a dune and watch his enemy watch the surf. Just to be spiteful, Inu Yasha ignored him except for one ear he kept cocked in Tachi's direction. He hoped Kagome would stay on the porch and not come down there, within the gang leader's reach, and for the time being she seemed content to do so.

The demon closed his eyes and conjured up the image of Kagome in regal kimono that had so entertained him earlier that evening (not the preggie one, the other one). He smiled and sighed, then felt suddenly sad when he remembered he couldn't go to the ball tomorrow night and see her in her pretty dress. She'd bragged about it when they'd all come home to find him sulking on the couch, absently flipping through the channels on satellite and sucking on a beer. On the table in front of him had been a beer can pyramid, testament to his depression. Shunusuke had advised him to switch to something non-alcoholic before he developed a problem and had unceremoniously snatched Inu Yasha's unfinished beer from his hand and replaced it with a Coke. Much to everyone's surprise, Inu Yasha had just let him do it.

He'd tried out Sesshomaru's bug-jamming device on Kagome in the bedroom so he could give her a quick report on the evening's events. She hadn't been too pleased about Tachi's return, and neither had anybody else when she'd revealed that knowledge to them in a note. She'd also told Shunusuke about the listening devices in the condo, which had sent him and Yuki on bug safari. That's what they'd been doing when Inu Yasha had jumped off the porch, into the trees and down to the beach.

"Sucks to be you, eh, Inu Yasha?" Tachi said in a quiet voice, knowing the demon's supernatural ears could hear him quite clearly. "Your girl's up there, and you're out here. Piss her off?"

Inu Yasha demonstrated an obscene gesture he'd perfected after watching Yuki all week.

"Does your mother know you're so polite?" Tachi cackled.

Inu Yasha ignored that remark. It was none of that little human bastard's business that his mother was long dead and so was his father. He chose, rather, to launch a small barb of his own to confirm Shinai's suspicions. "I hear you're working for Asano now."

Tachi snickered. "Heard that, huh? Yeah, the old man finally recognized my finer qualities. I hear you got a job, too, dog breath, working for that poof Sesshomaru."

Inu Yasha shrugged. "So what's Asano want you to do for him? Let me kick your ass again?"

More chuckling came from the dune, along with the sounds of Tachi getting up and walking toward him. Inu Yasha's back stiffened, but otherwise, he didn't move, not even when the human plunked down next to him. "That's a secret. And you?"

Inu Yasha gave him a sly look and showed all of his fangs. To his delight, Tachimora paled and gulped. "You're feeling pretty cocky, aren't you, human? Well, enjoy it while you can." Inu Yasha punctuated his toothy grin with a scary growl in the depths of his chest. He knew his youkai eyes were glowing in the darkness in a way that no other predator's did and he was very much aware of how uncomfortable that was making his companion. No matter how mean he thought he was, in the end Tachimora was just a human punk who didn't stand a chance against anybody with demon blood. He suspected Asano meant to get rid of Tachi by pitting him against Inu Yasha in a hopeless battle.

Whatever, thought Inu Yasha. He was tired of being a pawn in the older demons' games. All he'd wanted when he came here was to spend time with Kagome without worrying about the Jewel or danger, and look where it had gotten him. True, Keiichi and Karami might be dead if he hadn't been here, and lots of other innocent vacationers could very well be hurt, as well. But because of him and the Jewel, this quaint little vacation spot had become infested with demons.

"So!" Tachi said suddenly, in an attempt to change the subject and make Inu Yasha change his expression. "Going to the ball?"

"Are you?" Inu Yasha shot back, widening his carnivorous smirk enough to make the human actually scoot back a few inches. "I'll bet you'll look cute in a dress."

Tachi swallowed hard and tried to recover his aplomb. "Not as pretty as you with those lovely white locks."

"Now who's a poof?" Inu Yasha's grin got positively cruel when he added: "Shall I save you a dance, fairy-boy?"

Tachi covered his mouth, giggled and fluttered his eyelashes flirtatiously. "Oh, Inu Yasha! You're such a Don Juan! I'll put you at the top of my dance card!"

Inu Yasha had no idea what a "Don Juan" was, or a dance card for that matter, but he got the idea he was being beaten at his own game-and there was no way he was going be outdone by some stupid human. "Tachimora, humans are good for two things to a youkai," he held up two fingers and did his hungriest predator look, "and you ain't pretty enough for the other one."

Tachi decided that would be a good time to go away and leave the hungry demon alone. Quickly, but not so quickly that he looked like he was running away, the gang leader headed back to the Green Mermaid and his new boss. Inu Yasha chuckled to himself. He actually felt better.

* * *

Later, Inu Yasha lay back-to-back with Kagome in her hotel room, not wanting to leave her alone with Tachi running around loose and backed up by Asano's ability to make people "disappear". He was uncomfortably aware of her warmth and the sounds of her breathing and heartbeat. Every once in a while she'd sigh contentedly in her sleep, and he'd wonder what she was dreaming, hoping it was about him. He had no idea how he was going to stay awake all night to guard her, nor what he'd do when it was time for him to go through the well the next day. Convincing Kagome to stay behind and go to the dance had been a tough sell until Miroku, Sango and Myouga had volunteered to stay behind with her. Shippo would return with Inu Yasha, just as he'd been the only one to come with him when he'd so rashly chased after Kagome almost a week before. Had it really been a whole week? It seemed like everything was coming full circle now that Tachimora had returned to threaten them, only now he and Inu Yasha were working for other people. Inu Yasha smiled smugly: He'd bet the older Sesshomaru against Asano any day. The Sesshomaru of the present seemed like a cooler head than the brother Inu Yasha knew in the past. He wondered what kinds of demons he had working for him. Asano and Hisui seemed to favor kitsune. Did Sesshomaru use them, too? Did he have humans working for him? He made a mental note to ask his brother about it next time they talked in this time. It would be good to know who he'd be working with.

Could he support Kagome on what amounted to twenty to thirty gold ryu a year? What did that buy in this time? They'd probably live at the shrine, which would eliminate the need to buy a house, but he figured Kagome's family would expect him to contribute to maintenance and food costs. He'd want to buy Kagome nice clothes, of course, and pretty jewelry, too. She should have nice things, he thought firmly. Would he need a car? Kagome seemed able to get about without one, so maybe he could avoid it.

He rolled over and without realizing what he was doing, draped his arm over Kagome's waist and pulled her into the curve of his body, filling his nostrils with the clean smell of her thick, dark hair. Sesshomaru would probably want him to learn to operate a car, just in case he needed to drive one for some reason. He nudged Kagome's hair out of his face with his chin so he wouldn't have to move his arm and disturb her sleep. It occurred to him for a moment that she might get mad at him for being so familiar, then rejected the thought. The goodnight kiss she'd given him had been too comfortable and sweet for her to mind him cuddling her while she slept. It wasn't as if he was trying to feel her up, or anything. Anyway, a kidnapper would be less able to snatch her with him curled around her like that. He closed his eyes and imagined they would always sleep like that in their own bed, in their own house…

Before he knew it, Inu Yasha was contentedly asleep and dreaming about playing with his dark-haired children while Kagome made supper in the kitchen of their very own home.

"That's so cute, it's disgusting," Shinai muttered as he jumped from the fire escape to the balcony outside Kagome's room and curled up in fox-form in a corner to sleep. Hisui had ordered him to keep an eye on her favorite humans to make sure Mikoto's pet Tachi didn't try anything funny, but it was turning out to just be boring babysitting duty.

A soft thump announced Tsurai's arrival on the balcony, and Shinai looked up at his furry brother with a start. His twin sauntered over and snuggled up with him, wriggling himself into Shinai's curves until they were one, big pile of black fur with two sets of twitching ears and tails and four glowing eyes. "Good night, brother," Tsurai mumbled into his twin's fur.

Shinai sighed and resigned himself to Tsurai's company. "So what's he want you to do?" He asked sourly.

"Keep an eye on you," Tsurai yawned with a little whine. "You?"

"Guard Romeo and Juliet in there," Shinai snorted and pointed an ear in the hotel room's direction, "and make sure your boss doesn't do anything to them. Met that Tachi kid yet?"

Tsurai growled a little, then shook it off. "He's a useless punk with an overblown sense of his own importance. If we're lucky, Inu Yasha will kill him. If not, I'll probably do it myself."

The twins giggled over that, then Shinai grouched: "I don't think they're gonna do anything interesting in there. I never get the good assignments."

"Pervert."

They giggled some more, then drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru sat alone on the back veranda of the Green Mermaid, sipping a nice cup of Green Tea and playing with his email using a laptop and cell phone. Supposedly, Hisui snoozed in their room, but he wasn't stupid and assumed she'd left to conduct business of her own as soon as he was out of the building. This whole affair with Inu Yasha was getting to be like a three-way chess game—and as far as Sesshomaru was concerned, chess should never involve more than two players. Therefore, one of them had to go: Hisui or Mikoto. Now that Inu Yasha was on his payroll, Sesshomaru felt it was his duty to take the poor boy's side against those more experience than he in the ways of the modern, techno-savvy Machiavellian youkai. First things first: Provide insurance that Brother Dearest will make it safely to the well tomorrow afternoon. He checked the availability of his people, selected a pair he thought were a match for anything Hisui or Mikoto might field and IM'd them their new assignments. Then he read his other messages and enjoyed his tea while awaiting their confirmations, which came back in a matter of minutes. That done, he checked the American stock markets, which were just opening, read the latest news from that half of the world, then indulged in his favorite guilty pleasure: Online shopping. Inu Yasha would need new clothes, he reasoned…Yeah, that was it. Clothes for Inu Yasha. The fact that the pup wore almost the same suit size as he did was merely a happy coincidence.

Whilst shopping, Sesshomaru decided which of the threats to his brother's continued existence should be eliminated. Mikoto seemed the obvious choice, since Sesshomaru had no attachment to him, but was he the best choice? He'd been ready to almost trust the man (or at least not interfere with him) until he'd hired that human brat who'd caused so much trouble earlier in the week. There was also the matter of the Asano children's loyalties. Observation would seem to indicate that they were firmly in Inu Yasha's camp, not their father's. They certainly wanted nothing to do with Hisui. (Ooh! Halston on sale! Must have a few of those…for Inu Yasha.) Sesshomaru decided he needed more information about Mikoto's decision to hire Tachimora and figured he had some idea of where to get it. He pulled another phone out of his pocket and rang the Asano condo. When a sleepy Shunusuke answered, the Demon Lord asked bluntly: "Is your father's kitsune still on the roof?"

"Hell if I know," Shunusuke grumbled, then woke up. "Why?"

"Do you know why your father hired Tachimora?" Sesshomaru asked and was rewarded with thoughtful silence. "I didn't think so. Ask her to come to the phone."

No "please" or "thank you". Shunusuke muttered against conceited, ill-mannered demons for a few seconds before telling Sesshomaru he'd go check, put the phone down and stumbled out to the porch in his boxers. He didn't see her when he leaned against the railing and looked up, so he called out to her: "Hey, Gin! You have a phone call inside!"

Silence. Shunusuke rolled his eyes. "I can feel you up there…"

Gin appeared in front of him and quipped lewdly: "You can feel me up?"

Shunusuke pushed her through the door, then the living room and into his bedroom, which really got her going until he pointed at the phone and said: "It's Lord Sesshomaru." Then he winked. "I think he's getting tired of Hisui."

Gin sobered up in a snap. She glared at Shunusuke suspiciously and growled: "This better not be a joke," then she picked up the phone and discovered it wasn't a joke at all. "Sesshomaru," she spat, still growling. "What do you want?"

Sesshomaru overlooked her impertinence for the moment, confident that he could punish her for it later if he still cared. "Why did Asano hire Tachimora?"

"You hauled me off the roof for that?!"

Sigh. "You don't know."

"Of course I know!" Gin snapped, though she didn't. She caught Shunusuke's eye, and found the telepath frowning at her. Well, as long as the brat didn't open his—

"She's lying," he said loud enough for the demon lord to hear him through the phone.

So much for a little cooperation from her boss' kid. She snarled at him and mouthed: "Whose side are you on?"

He shrugged. "Hey, you've been spying on me, Gin, that makes you not on my side." Pointing at the phone, he added: "You better answer the man before he thinks he needs to come over here and ask you in person."

By now, the rest of the condo's occupants were awake and gathering in curiosity outside the door. Shunusuke was pretty surprised that Yuki and Miroku had left the warmth of their bed and each other to see what he was doing. Sango, he thought, looked incredibly cute in a pair of his boxers and one of his white undershirts (which she thought had come from Yuki).

The idea of being snotty to Sesshomaru's face didn't seem to appeal to the kitsune very much. She made a sour face and huffed: "Lord Asano doesn't need to explain his actions to every one of his employees."

"But I should think this action would directly concern you," Sesshomaru purred, "since you might find yourself fighting at that human boy's side. You would need to be informed. I certainly would inform you, if I were Mikoto."

Gin gnawed one of her claws, painfully aware of the onlookers hanging around by the door, and Shunusuke's ability to know her thoughts. Finally she admitted she had no idea why Tachimora had been hired. "Why do you care? Are you afraid he'll hurt your widdle bwother?"

"Hmmm…Armani…" Sesshomaru thought aloud under his breath, confusing the hell out of Gin, "I wonder if that cretin could wear Armani?" He seemed to suddenly remember he was on the phone and said in a louder voice: "Tachimora doesn't stand a chance against any of us, even Inu Yasha." The demon chuckled a bit and added: "Not even against my brother's human friends."

"Why don't you ask Lord Asano yourself," Gin snarled, "if you want to know so badly?"

"He's sleeping," Sesshomaru told her dismissively, "and this isn't worth waking him."

"But it's worth waking me?!" Gin roared, then remembered who she was talking to. "Can I go now?"

Pause. "Yes, I think he might be able to manage Armani…if he gets a decent hair cut. Hm? Oh, yes, you may go. Give Shunusuke the phone."

As she handed Shunuske the phone, Gin muttered bitterly: "He's such an asshole," then she pushed through the people at the door for the satisfaction of being able to shove something and returned to her rooftop perch to report to her employer.

Shunusuke watched her go while Sesshomaru said in his ear: "Is she calling Mikoto?"

Ah, so that was his game all along. Shunusuke focused on Gin for a moment. "Yes."

"Good. Can you hear her in any way?"

"Most of it."

"We'll talk in the morning, Shunusuke," Sesshomaru told him in a voice that wouldn't tolerate argument. "I pay well for information, be prepared to barter."

He hung up before Shunusuke could reply and went back to ordering an Italian wardrobe for his unsuspecting, fashion-challenged brother and deciding what to do about Mikoto and Hisui. He decided Hisui was really the most stubborn problem, since being reasonable wasn't her forte. Mikoto, at least, could be reasoned with. Hisui would insist on having her way no matter how ridiculous her wish or the cost of fulfilling it. He leaned back in his chair and sighed, knowing he could become a liability to Hisui at any time. Until then, he just as well enjoy himself.

Going back to his email, he discovered an online greeting card waiting for him from the woman, herself. "Little minx," he thought with a sly grin. She was probably watching him from some window in the hotel somewhere. He followed the link and shook his head with a smile. "Where does she find these things?" She could be such the little sex fiend sometimes. Well, tonight he refused to be distracted. If Hisui wanted his company, she'd have to come to him. So Sesshomaru played it coy, closed out the card and went back to reading his email (though he made a point of saving the email with the link, so she'd know he wasn't avoiding her entirely).

What to do about Hisui, he wondered. How and when might she try to take the Jewel from Inu Yasha and his woman? Would she stop him before he got to the well? Try to return with him through it? He wondered on a lark if asking would get him anywhere, then decided he'd just as well try. So he brought up his Mah Jong program and played against the computer while he waited for Hisui to get tired of watching him and join him instead.

Soon a pair of soft, cool arms wrapped around his neck in a quick hug that ended in an ear nibble, then Hisui pulled up a chair near enough for the arms to touch and watched him get beat by the computer. "I don't understand why you insist upon playing a game you never win, Darling," she pouted.

"That, my dear," he told her with a knowing smirk, "is the difference between you and me. For me, losing is an opportunity for learning and growth, it's a challenge. I won't quit playing Mah Jong against the computer until I consistently defeat it." He patted her hand and looked deeply into her shining eyes. "I notice I'm rubbing off on you, but this time I think your persistence is misplaced. While I try to be farsighted and consider the big picture, your vision tends to be more narrowly focused. You fail to consider any possibility that would mean you can't or shouldn't have what you want. Sometimes it's wiser to accept that you can't always get what you want."

"But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need," Hisui giggled and gave him a playful kiss on the lips. When her beloved didn't seem to get her joke, she nudged his shoulder and pouted. "It's the Rolling Stones, Darling! Mick Jagger!"

"I'm familiar with the Rolling Stones," Sesshomaru sighed, "and you know it. You're trying to change the subject, but I won't let you."

She wrapped one of her arms around his and lay her head on his shoulder to watch him lose at Mah Jong. "I told you I'm not interested in the Jewel anymore, Darling, so what subject are you trying to make me stick to?"

Sesshomaru smiled. "I never said anything about the Jewel…"

Her body tensed for a moment, then she relaxed against him again with a soft giggle. "I mean it. I'm not interested anymore. How can I be, since it would involve harming one of your employees—and I know how territorial you can be."

"No, my dear," he countered with a quick kiss on the top of her head, "you really have no idea, and I strongly advise against even you testing me in this. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Hisui?"

Her claws dug into his forearm as his words stung her pride, but her tone remained sweet and playful. "No, Darling, spell it out for me, won't you?"

Sigh. He was losing very badly tonight. Maybe he should switch to Go. "My protection of Inu Yasha extends to those he calls friends and against anyone who tries to harm them or interfere with any mission on which I might send him. I'm telling you and your son to back off, Hisui. I mean it."

"You're forgetting who you're talking to," she warned him in a dangerous voice and dug her claws into his arm until little droplets of blood sprang up around them.

Sesshomaru didn't flinch. "So are you. I don't want to fight you, Hisui, but I will if you persist."

She was quiet for a while, weighing his sincerity against her pride. Meanwhile, he carried on playing Mah Jong as if they were merely discussing the weather. Blood dribbled off his arm onto her thigh, and she watched it puddle then flow over the side onto the wood planks of the deck. She reached down to dip her finger into it, then brought it to her lips to taste. "I will have the Jewel, Sesshomaru, with or without you."

With that, she left him alone with his Mah Jong and went back into the hotel. Sesshomaru just hoped he wouldn't find his belongings in the hallway outside the door when he retired for the night.


	28. Chapter 28

**(Buckle up, folks. Shit's about to start getting real. -GreyAncient)**

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Twenty Eight

**Friday 6:00am: Higurashi Shrine**

The sun rises on what promises to be beautiful day in the Tokyo area. Two men in dark clothes position themselves out of sight but where they can get a good, clear shot anywhere on the shrine grounds, especially the mini shrine housing the Bone Eater's Well. The men are Chinese, masters of a laundry list of martial arts and weapons. Their sunglasses are actually night vision goggles with heads up displays. The men open their black briefcases in unison and inventory the weapons and other items therein: Automatic pistols with special, demonflesh piercing ordinance, youkai-specific poison to be applied to an assortment of shuriken and throwing knives, boxes of demon and human-specific ammo. Next, they open long cases containing katana and naginata (in three pieces that screw together). Everything checks out and is good to go. Now they wait.

**Friday 6:30am: Higurashi Shrine**

The Chinese gentlemen have company of the demonic variety. A red oni positions herself on the roof of the mini shrine and flattens her body against the roof tiles. In moments, she's almost indistinguishable from the tiles. Another red oni, a male, does the same atop the house. A brown fox trots onto the shrine grounds and pauses in the middle of the open area for a sniff.

Meanwhile, the Chinese men screw silencers onto the muzzles of their pistols, raise them and take aim. One kills the two oni on the rooftops, the other waits for the kitsune to enter the shadows of the mini shrine, then shoots him. The men put away their weapons, collect their cases and move to new positions on the shrine grounds to wait for the next batch of enemies.

**Friday 7:00am: Green Mermaid Inn, Dolphin Café**

Sesshomaru sits at a table in the back corner of the little a la carte café and observes the movements of his operatives on a palmtop computer that sits on the table next to his fruit cup. He takes a sip of tea, then pops a melon ball in his mouth. So far, so good. He produces a phone from his belt and calls the Asano condo, once again awakening Shunusuke.

"Time to talk, Asano. Wake my brother and join me in the Dolphin Café at the Green Mermaid in fifteen minutes."

"He spent the night with Kagome," Shunusuke says through a yawn. "He's upstairs from y—"

Sesshomaru hangs up and rings Kagome's room. After five rings, she answers blearily. "This is Sesshomaru. See that my brother joins me in the Dolphin Café in fifteen minutes."

"Huh?"

"I know he's there."

Pause. "Ok. He'll be there."

Sesshomaru hangs up with a satisfied smirk, thinking he didn't know Inu Yasha had it in him.

**Friday 7:16am: Green Mermaid Inn, Dolphin Café**

Hisui takes breakfast with her son at a table at the other side of the café from Sesshomaru. They watch Shunusuke and Inu Yasha enter, looking like they'd slept in the clothes they were wearing and smelling like they hadn't bathed. The pair sit down at Sesshomaru's table with uneasy looks in Hisui's and Mikoto's direction. Hisui waves. Mikoto looks thoughtfully at them over the rim of his coffee mug, then goes back to reading his newspaper. Hisui does something she hasn't done since they met, and locks onto Sesshomaru's mind, only to find to her horror that he's actually erected a complex barrier maze against her. Sesshomaru turns his head ever so slightly to give her a weary look, then returns to his conversation.

After several minutes of haggling, Shunusuke admits neither Gin nor Mikoto revealed what interest the elder Asano has in Tachimora, nor what the demon's plans are for his new human employee. Shunusuke refuses to invade his father's mind for the information for any price.

"You are of no further use to me, then," Sesshomaru says and dismisses him with a wave of his hand. "Inu Yasha, stay here."

Shunusuke doesn't move. "I'll help Inu Yasha, if he wants my help."

He gets raised eyebrows for that. Sesshomaru seems to consider for a moment, then nods and says they'll discuss it. He then orders the boys something to eat. "I can't believe you spent an entire night with her without doing anything, brother."

Inu Yasha turns bright red.

**Friday 8:00am: Green Mermaid Inn, Dolphin Café**

Hisui learns of her agents' demises and considers her next move. She suspects the killers belong to her son, but can't get past his barriers, either. So she glares at him while he calmly reads a newspaper and nibbles a croissant. She wonders if Sesshomaru is responsible and realizes she doesn't know as much as she thought she did about her lover's business or what kind of people he has to send against hers. She gnaws a claw and smokes as she thinks about it.

Mikoto fights down a smirk. His people are watching the resort and all possible exits en route to the Higurashi Shrine. He suspects Sesshomaru will have snipers positioned at the Shrine, as well as people along the route. This should be interesting, he thinks. He's always wanted to test his operatives against Sesshomaru's humans and anti-demon tech.

**Friday 8:10am: Green Mermaid Inn, Dolphin Café**

Shinai and Tsurai join their respective employers for breakfast and to receive orders. Shinai amuses himself by staring at Sesshomaru's table and successfully infuriates Inu Yasha. Tsurai is more interested in his meal and the morning paper.

**Friday 9:00am: Vault, Asano Residence, Tokyo**

A former magical girl attaches an electronic safe cracking device to the front of Mikoto Asano's private safe. According to her information, this is where he's hiding her magic wand. China is a nice place to visit, but she doesn't want to live there. She's been back in Japan for more than a month, and yet Asano doesn't seem to know or care. She hopes he didn't notice her leaving the Green Mermaid on her recovery mission and is rather shocked at how easily she was able to get past his security and into his house. Something is definitely suspicious, but she decides to take advantage of her seeming good fortune while it lasts. In twenty minutes, she has reclaimed her magic wand and is headed back to the beach with her prize, still wondering how long her "luck" will hold out.

One of Mikoto's Oni notes her departure and reports it to his boss.

**Friday 10:00am: Asano Condominium**

Inu Yasha sits in one of the bedrooms with Kagome and Sesshomaru's anti-listening device, and briefs her on his brother's plan for getting him through the well before he stops smelling like a youkai. Basically, it involves making a run for it around 2-o'clock, to allow for attacks Sesshomaru expects will come from Hisui's and/or Mikoto's operatives. He advises Kagome to keep the truth about his departure from the Asanos, though he fears Shunusuke might already have pulled the information from his mind. About his allies, he knows only that they're male, Chinese and human. Despite his brother's confidence in his people, Inu Yasha isn't so sure he wants to trust his fate to a couple of humans. However, the fact that Sesshomaru is certain that those two men alone will be enough says a lot about their abilities—or Sesshomaru's low opinion of the enemy's abilities. Inu Yasha hopes his brother isn't underestimating Hisui and Mikoto as he was wont to underestimate his half-blood brother in the past.

**Friday 10:30am: Green Mermaid Room 233**

Tachi exceeds the number of times one can hit the snooze alarm and falls back into a deep sleep, thinking he'll get up around noonish, have bite to eat, then go kick Inu Yasha's ass.

**Itinerary for the remainder of Friday:**

**2:00: Inu Yasha leaves the resort, airborne**

**4:00-ish: Inu Yasha starts to smell like an ordinary human to any youkai who can sniff him.**

**7:00: Mermaid Ball begins at the Green Mermaid Inn.**

**8:00-ish: The sun is down, and so is Inu Yasha's youkai blood.**

Whether or not all of this happens on schedule is another matter, entirely. So...

Who are those Chinese guys?

Why did Mikoto bring back Tachi and why did he let the magical girl have her wand back?

Will Inu Yasha make it to the past before he starts going human?

Will Kagome be safe in his absence?

Go to the next chapter to find out


	29. Chapter 29

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Twenty Nine

Inu Yasha and Kagome were having a serious row over who should have custody of the Shikon Jewel fragments while Inu Yasha hid in the past. Kagome thought she should have them, as always. Inu Yasha thought he should take them with him to the past to keep them out of reach of Hisui and Mikoto. This argument had been going on for almost an hour on the beach outside the condo, utterly defeating the purpose of taking it outside, which was to avoid the listening devices inside. Not only could Gin on her rooftop perch hear the argument, so could a few dozen beach goers. Fortunately, the combatants had a bit of a code going between them, so to Gin it seemed they were just fighting over custody of the Jewel, which was perfectly logical to her. Frankly, she was on Inu Yasha's side: He could definitely protect the thing much better than that human girl could, unless there was something about her Gin didn't know, like maybe she had some kind of whiz-bang priestess power she hadn't let on about.

"Kagome, stop being stupid!" Inu Yasha screamed in her face. "I can protect the Jewel better than you can!"

She narrowed her eyes at him for that "stupid" remark and growled back with a meaningful look: "No, you can't. This isn't even an issue!"

"What do you mean it 'isn't an issue'?!" He shrieked back. "It's the most important issue! It's the only issue! Now give it to me, so I can get going!"

Kagome shook her head.

"Kagome…"

She turned her back on him and stomped back toward the condo. "You're going to be late, Inu Ya—WOOP!"

He spun her about by the shoulder and reached into her blouse to rip the Jewel off her neck, only—"WHERE'S THE JEWEL, YOU CRAZY BITCH?!"

Silence while Kagome glared at him. "'You crazy bitch"?" She repeated slowly, then took a step forward, poked him in the chest and said it again. He backed up, she poked him and said it again.

Inu Yasha gulped and almost tripped. "I-I-I didn't mean that. Y-you know how I am. Ha-ha! I just…um…you know, say things I don't mean." Gulp.

"'Crazy bitch'?"

"I said I didn't mean it!"

Plop! Inu Yasha fell on his butt in the sand with a tiny yelp. "Wh-where's the Jewel?"

Kagome bent over with her hands on her hips to glare at him darkly, then all of a sudden she got a maniacal gleam in her eye and sneered: "Same place Hisui kept hers…"

Inu Yasha gagged and turned a funny shade of green.

"Just kidding!"

Inu Yasha damn near fainted with relief. In a feeble voice, he asked her again: "Where's the Jewel, Kagome?"

She started off for the condo again. "It's someplace safe, so stop worrying."

Inu Yasha scrambled to his feet to catch up to her. "Where?"

"People are listening, you know."

He sighed and tugged on one of his wolf ears. "Fine. Whisper it in my ear."

Kagome gave him a scary grin and kept walking.

"Kagomeeeeee!" Inu Yasha turned her around by her shoulder and shook her. "This isn't funny! I have to know where it is!"

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Not!"

Inu Yasha felt like tearing out his hair. "Cut it out, Kagome! This is really important. I have to know where it is so I know for sure it's safe."

She frowned. "Don't you trust me?"

Why was she being so difficult? Inu Yasha dug his claws into the palms of his hands and growled his frustration. "I trust you. I just…I need to know. For my own peace of mind. Ok?"

Kagome sighed. "You big idiot. You weren't reaching low enough. They're not in my shirt."

Gulp.

"They're not there, either, Inu Yasha, so get your mind out of the gutter."

He gulped again and considered his options. So the shards were in her shorts, which, he noticed, had no pockets. Not good. To take the shards by force, he'd have to get her shorts off, which he was sure she'd never forgive. Not that undressing her hadn't crossed his mind a few times in the past…ok, more than a few times…but now would be a bad time to act on those fantasies. Wait a minute! Could the shards be in her shoes? He looked down and was disappointed to discover she was barefoot. So much for that idea. Definitely the shorts, then. Now what?

Kagome's expression was a mixture of threat and amusement as she watched him go over the possibilities in his mind. The only reason she'd put the shards in her panties was because Inu Yasha had taken the Jewel from her neck once before, and if a tactic succeeded once, Inu Yasha was sure to try it again. When he started looking like he was going to go for it, Kagome growled: "Don't even think about."

He pulled his hands back for a radical rethink. Ok, the shards were definitely in her pants. Calm down, he told himself when his heart started racing at the very thought of "in Kagome's pants". He squinted at her shorts, trying to see telltale lumps to show where the shards were, but the shorts were too baggy. Well, if the shorts were loose, they couldn't hold the shards in place, which meant one of two things: Either she'd glued the shards to her skin, or they were tucked into those little silky things he'd found in the dirty laundry basket in the condo. Silky things laden with female scent, which indicated they were worn right next to the female body, which meant they were snug enough to keep the jewel shards from falling out. Now that he'd reasoned it through, it made perfect sense. He still didn't approve of it as a hiding place, though, since anybody who wanted to steal the shards would have to undress _his_ _woman_ to get to them. Furthermore, did she plan to keep them there until he returned, even during the Mermaid Ball?

"Stop staring, Inu Yasha," Kagome growled, barely able to stifle a giggle at his scarlet face and twitching ears. "I've taped them to my tummy, so they won't slide around. See? You have nothing to worry about."

His ears dipped at that. "Unless somebody attacks you, which you can bet they will without me around!"

"Hell-lo!" Kagome waved her hand in front of his face and glared at him like he was a moron. "You're not the only person who can fight, Inu Yasha. What about Sango? Or Miroku? Or Shunusuke and Yuki? And," she shook a finger in his face and almost lost her momentum when he crossed his eyes to look at it, "you're working for Sesshomaru now, and if anything happens to me, it'll be a slap in the face to him because I'm your girlfriend." She gave the end of his nose a playful tap and added with a cute, little pout: "I think I'll be ok for one, little night without you—but make sure it's only one night, ok? Don't take up with some cute princess, or something, and forget all about boring old Kagome!"

"I don't think you're boring," he protested before realizing she was only teasing him. He bent to kiss her, but she felt like playing hard to get and made him chase her around the beach for a little while before finally letting him catch her.

Up on the roof, Gin stuck her tongue out at the happy couple, then turned her back on them to sulk. At least Kagome's man paid attention to her. Shinai only noticed his silver furred admirer when she pissed him off. Stupid fox, hung up on that Hisui bitch, who just used him then ground him under her heel. Gin couldn't believe Shinai kept coming back for more, even after the arrival of Sesshomaru. Now that man was more than a match for Hisui Oukami. Gin bet Hisui didn't get away with any of her usual shit with Sesshomaru. He was too cool for that, like her boss. Mikoto and Sesshomaru understood that the world they lived in was controlled by humans and their technology, unlike Hisui who only cared about modern fashions and parties. It was a wonder the woman could use a cell phone!

As soon as she thought it, Gin knew she was underestimating the Great Demon of the North. Hisui had a bigger clue than she let on about, of that Gin was certain. Why else would Mikoto let her push him around all the time? Unless he was just pacifying her until she went away so he could get on with his life. Yup. That was probably it. She just couldn't believe Shinai let Hisui wrap him around her little finger! He was much too good for her. Much, much too good. After all, Hisui was just a dog. (So was Mikoto, but Gin chose to ignore that for the sake of dissing Hisui.)

"I even took up surfing for that guy!" She muttered under her breath. At least it was fun—and if it hadn't been for her crush on Shinai, she never would've discovered it. It would be more fun if he'd surf with her. Did it bother him that they worked for different people? Mikoto was Hisui's son, wasn't that close enough? (Personally, Gin felt she'd made the more intelligent career choice of the two.)

She lay on her back and watched the clouds roll across the sky. Those damned Asano kids had found all her bugs and disabled them, but Gin didn't feel like leaving her nice, warm puddle of sunshine just yet. The sun-heated roof tiles felt fabulous against her back, as did the sun on her face, softly dappled by the swaying branches of the nearby trees. In a little while the ocean's rhythmic crashing and the cozy warmth of her perch put her to sleep.

* * *

Shunusuke slumped against the back of his chair with a weary sigh and massaged his temples. That kitsune had a tough skull. It had taken him twice as long to put her to sleep as it would have if she'd been human. Hard work, that. "I need a nap," he complained to his sister, who waited at his elbow with a glass of ice water.

"Here, drink some water," she suggested gently, "then go lay down."

Miroku nodded and observed grimly: "I think we're in for a busy night. Maybe we should all get some rest." He caught Yuki's eye and chuckled. "No, I really mean it. Just rest this time."

"No snuggles?" Yuki pouted. "I promise to behave…"

Oh brother. Shunusuke gave Yuki his empty glass and retreated to his room with a disgusted: "If I hear one, single pant out of either of you, I'm sending Yuki off to the hotel with Kagome—and don't think I won't do it! I need sleep!" He slammed the door behind him.

Yuki crossed her arms and huffed: "What a grouch."

The door flew open, and Shunusuke snapped: "I am not grouchy!" SLAM!

"He's just mad because Sango wanted to go stake out the hotel with Shippo and Myouga instead of staying here with him," Yuki declared with a toss of her raven hair.

Miroku kissed her cheek with a wicked grin. "In that case, we'd better make sure she dances with him tonight, or he'll be completely impossible."

"So," Yuki asked casually, "who gets first watch, you or me?"

He scratched his head. "I'll do it. Pleasant dreams."

They had a quick kiss, then Yuki went into the other bedroom while Miroku sat on the porch where he could watch the approach to the condo. This also gave him a nice view of Inu Yasha's and Kagome's farewell kiss, which didn't make him feel warm and fuzzy as it normally would. Inu Yasha should've been on his way long before now. He wanted to shout to his friend to get going but was afraid he'd wake up Gin, so he just waved from the porch until he got the demon's attention, then made angry "get out of here, you moron" gestures.

Inu Yasha opened his mouth to yell at the priest, but Miroku's meaningful pointing at the sleeping kitsune on the roof turned his anger to amusement. Some spy she was, falling asleep on the job. Inu Yasha kissed Kagome again, then took to the sky.

Kagome and Miroku watched him become a pink dot in the distance, then disappear altogether.

* * *

Theirs weren't the only eyes watching Inu Yasha's departure. Aside from several vacationers who happened to look up and see what appeared to be an unusual pink bird of some kind, there were the spies Mikoto and Hisui had placed along Inu Yasha's projected route to the well. Sesshomaru was sticking with his two human operatives at the shrine, confident that they were all he'd need to counter his opponents' supernatural creatures. To mortals, they were famous stars of Hong Kong cinema. But Sesshomaru suspected humans would think working for a powerful demon lord only added to the mystique that already surrounded those legendary martial artists. What would humans think if they knew who bankrolled John Woo's movies and employed one of his favorite actors? Then again, who would have suspected Lord Sesshomaru, the Great Demon of the Western Lands, was a die hard Hong Kong action movie fan? A little smile lifted his lips as he thought Inu Yasha would probably like those kinds of movies, too. Brotherly bonding. What a concept.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken called out, then shrieked when Shippo shoved him out of the way and hopped up onto Sesshomaru's table. "You filthy mutt! Get down from there!"

Shippo fluffed his tail angrily and snarled: "Who's a mutt, Toady?"

"'Toady'?!" Jaken fumed. "How dare you call me…ooh! You flea-bitten little furball!"

"That will be enough, Jaken," Sesshomaru commanded with a wave of his hand. He turned a sour frown on the tiny kitsune, who was perched too close to his computer for Sesshomaru's comfort. "Sit here—Shippo, is it?"

Shippo nodded and jumped onto the chair Sesshomaru patted at his right. Jaken sat down on his Lord's left with no small amount of complaint. "He's gone," Shippo told the Great Demon and snatched a rice ball from Sesshomaru's plate, "bud I gesh you know dat."

"Swallow, then speak," Sesshomaru sighed. He pulled his plate out of the kitsune's reach, then flagged down a waiter and ordered more rice balls and some tea for his companions. "I see my brother has found other cretins to associate with. Do none of you have manners?"

Shippo pouted. "I was hungry, and you weren't eating them…"

"Just because you didn't see him eating them, doesn't make them fair game!" Jaken scolded.

Shippo stuck his tongue out at Jaken. "Anyway," he asked Sesshomaru, "what now?"

The Demon Lord gave him a lazy look and a smug little smirk. "Now you do nothing. Enjoy the Mermaid Ball tonight, and leave the rest to me."

Shippo wasn't entirely sure he was ready to trust Sesshomaru to take care of whatever "the rest" entailed. In fact, he wondered if this whole thing with hiring Inu Yasha and helping him keep his secret was just a big front, and Sesshomaru was really planning to kill his brother when he was at his weakest and take the jewel shards for himself. Or was he really working with Hisui, not against her, as he was leading Inu Yasha to believe?

"You don't trust me," Sesshomaru said flatly, then shrugged. "I assure you, nothing will happen to Inu Yasha or any of you, if you follow my orders. After you've eaten the rice balls I've ordered for you, go back to the condo and get ready for a pleasant evening at the dance. Inu Yasha will be safely on the other side of the well until tomorrow."

Shippo wasn't convinced but decided there was nothing he could do about it now except watch and wait. And eat rice balls with Sesshomaru and his disgusting creature Jaken. Ugh. He could think of more pleasant company.

* * *

Inu Yasha soared over Tokyo, every sense alert for enemies. He was surprised none of the oni he'd felt had tried to stop him from leaving the resort. In their place, he would've been all over that opportunity. What were they waiting for? Surely they weren't waiting till he actually reached the shrine. In his mind, it seemed a better plan to stop him before he got anywhere near his goal. Yet, all the oni did was follow him. Interesting. It wasn't as if they couldn't fly, too, so why follow him on the ground in cars? Were they really so concerned about what humans would make of supernatural creatures fighting in the skies over their heads? Hm. Well, whenever they chose to attack, he was ready for them.

He thought about the humans his brother had placed at the shrine to help him. Sesshomaru had seemed pretty confident earlier, when he'd described his operatives and their equipment.

"They're known as Jackie Chan and Chow Yun Fat," Sesshomaru had explained as he handed Inu Yasha photographs of the two men. "They're martial artists and experts with anti-youkai weaponry—which I designed, by the way. Humans think these men are just actors in action films."

"You designed weapons to kill your own kind?" Inu Yasha had gasped in disbelief but when he'd thought about it, it had made sense. Tetsusaiga was a youkai slayer, and Sesshomaru had always been pretty keen on having that blade or one like it. No surprise then, that he would design anti-youkai weapons for his operatives, especially when his enemies seemed to use demons, as Mikoto and Hisui did. Huh. Smart man, this brother of his.

"You'll be trained to use such weapons, as well" Sesshomaru had replied, then smirked. "I can't believe Tetsusaiga's master has a problem with youkai killing weapons. You're such a hypocrite, Inu Yasha."

Inu Yasha's face burned at the memory of his brother's insult. "I'm not a hypocrite," he thought as he flew toward the shrine, "I just didn't think it through. And I don't have a problem with it, either!" Of course he didn't. Most of his enemies were youkai, and killing them had never given him a crisis of conscience. He'd just open his mouth before engaging his brain and made an ass of himself in front of his jerk brother.

When he got close to the shrine, the cars sped up to arrive ahead of him and were discharging both blue and red oni by the time Inu Yasha touched down outside the mini shrine containing the well. Much to his surprise, there was no one there to meet him, friend or foe. However, a few good sniffs solved that mystery: Whoever had been there to meet him was dead, he could smell them. No bodies were in view, which told him someone had hidden them. His allies? Where were they? Sesshomaru said they'd meet him here. Hell with them if they got themselves killed, he was out of there!

Just as Inu Yasha stepped into the mini shrine, the oni entered the grounds and the air was instantly filled with a riot of gunshots. Inu Yasha heard a thump just behind him and spun on his heel to find the back of a human male filling the door way. He was shooting into a group of oni, who were trying to get past him into the shrine. How did he not smell this guy before?

"What are you waiting for?" The man called over his shoulder. "Get out of here! Go!"

"Where's Kagome's family?!"

He fired more shots into the attackers. "Someplace safe! Far away!"

Inu Yasha hesitated. One human against more than a dozen oni (that he could see). Where was the other one? This one was Chan, where was that Fat guy?

"What in the hell are you just standing around for?! You think I'm doing this for fun?"

Inu Yasha growled and drew his sword, meaning to push the human out of the way and show him how to kill a big pack of oni all in one sweep, but that just got him a powerful kick in the gut that sent him flying off the platform and into the well. He appeared in the past with a loud curse and would've gone straight back through to the future if he didn't have company.

"Oh gods, not Naraku!" He moaned to himself. "Not now! Shit!" In order to go forward in time, he had to get out of the well, then jump back in again, but there was a swarm of Naraku's insects swirling in a lethal cloud over his head. That didn't necessarily mean his nemesis was at the well, but it did indicate he was close enough to manipulate his bugs.

He was pretty sure he could make it with minimal injury if he jumped straight up then dropped back into the well, but then Naraku's spies would see him disappear. No, wait. They'd already seen him appear out of nowhere, so the jig was up no matter what he did. That decided, he took a deep breath and sprang, going through the insects, then back down again into the future…

…to find a rifle pointing at him from above and Jackie Chan taking aim. Inu Yasha cursed, then realized the target was the bugs he'd brought back with him. Pop! Pop! Pop! Each insect dropped to the ground with a hole in its head, dead.

"Get out of here!" Chan shouted at him. "You already wasted enough time!"

Inu Yasha didn't like anybody telling him what to do, especially a human. He could hear the fighting outside the mini shrine, and every fiber of his being begged to get right into the middle of it. But Chan was right: He was late arriving at the shrine and was wasting time now. Soon any supernatural creature would be able to smell that he was losing his youkai powers, and his secret would get back to Hisui or Mikoto or both. He had to go back to the past, even though Naraku's creatures (and maybe Naraku, himself) awaited him there. But then Naraku, his worst enemy, would know the truth! Dammit! He couldn't win, no matter what he did!

Chan pulled a pistol out of his jacket and pointed it into the well while continuing to fire on the oni trying to get into the shrine. "Get the hell out of here!"

"What are you gonna do?" Inu Yasha sneered as he jumped out of the well and landed on the platform behind his ally. "Kill me?" With that, he ran past Chan and out the door through a hailstorm of bullets, which ripped chunks out of his kimono armor and tore his skin. He brought Tetsusaiga up, then down into the earth with a roar. The earth shook as light flew from the blade. Sesshomaru's human assassins flattened themselves on the ground. When all was quiet again, the only youkai left in the shrine grounds was Inu Yasha. He looked over his shoulder to give Jackie Chan a smug snicker, then sheathed Tetsusaiga and walked back to the mini shrine.

"Any questions?" He snorted and offered the man a hand up. It was declined, which troubled Inu Yasha not at all. He'd have done the same.

"You missed one," Chan told him as he shoved Inu Yasha aside and joined his partner, who was already chasing the escapee.

Inu Yasha ran after them, leaping into the air off the top of the steps. The street was empty. Shit! That meant it had been youkai. He ignored the burning pain where the bullets had gotten him, but he knew he was bleeding heavily and would start to get weaker soon. If only this wasn't that night! He could feel the youkai in his blood subsiding, leaving him with a body that couldn't heal itself as quickly as he was accustomed to. Nothing unusual on the streets below, just ordinary humans going about their ordinary business.

It took Inu Yasha a few moments to notice the stench of blood filling his nostrils was his own. A cut on the side of his head drizzled blood down his face and onto his chin. Inu Yasha absently wiped it away. There were only a few hours left before he started to take on physical human traits. Plenty of time to stop a spy, Inu Yasha figured with a smirk. But if his enemy was a kitsune, it could take many forms and blend in nicely with the humans who walked or drove through this vast city. It didn't take Inu Yasha long to realize he'd lost his prey and settle onto a rooftop to plan his next move. He wished he had a phone, then realized he didn't know Sesshomaru's number to tell him what had happened. Oh well, those Chinese guys probably called him already. Heh. Sesshomaru was probably pretty pissed at him right about now.

So, he thought, what to do? Continue to search for the escapee, or leave damage control to Sesshomaru and his minions? Either way, there was no safe place for him. Naraku waited on the other side of the well, and discovery by Hisui and Mikoto on this side. He could probably fight his way through the insects, even in his wounded condition, but if Naraku was nearby, he'd seen him as a human! Even if one of his bugs saw him and got away, it would tell Naraku his secret. Well, Inu Yasha decided, there was nothing for it but to get back to the resort and try to kill the spy before they could tell their employer Inu Yasha didn't smell quite as youkai today.

* * *

Back at the resort, Sesshomaru was already handling it. No matter who the escapee was, they had probably already reported in to their superior, be that Hisui or Mikoto. What the spy knew was what concerned Sesshomaru most. If they were human, they wouldn't be able to tell Inu Yasha was changing yet. However, if they were youkai, or even an oni… "My brother is an idiot," he muttered as he worked the phone, moving his people into position to intercept the spy. He wondered where Inu Yasha was. Not in the past, that much had been confirmed by Chan and Fat, who'd seen Inu Yasha take off after the enemy. They'd also noted his brother was bleeding rather profusely from a number of bullet wounds, wounds his human body couldn't heal in the way that his youkai body could. He'd be weak, at the very least, depending upon the severity of his injuries. Logically, Inu Yasha should have reasoned that his quarry would return to the resort to report to their boss, but Inu Yasha wasn't always logical and he was hurt. Either or both things might keep him in the city, unless by some miracle he decided to follow orders and go home through the well. Chan's mention of youkai insects was troubling, since the only way they could've gotten to this time was through the well with Inu Yasha. Their presence also indicated the past might not be a safe place for his brother tonight, after all. Regardless, Inu Yasha had to be found before sundown.

Sesshomaru rubbed his temples and wondered why things never did seem to go quite right when Inu Yasha was involved. He picked up the phone, then set it down again, unable to decide if he should inform Inu Yasha's friends, or wait to be sure of his brother's position and situation. He decided to wait for more information and flagged down a waiter to bring him another Midori and soda while he waited for his operatives to report in and the sun to go down.

* * *

In the shadow of a dumpster behind a row of shops Inu Yasha sat in a growing puddle of his own blood and tried to stay conscious.


	30. Chapter 30

**(In which two big-name Hong Kong action stars and a wounded hanyo fight a magical girl in a sequined sailor fuku in the middle of downtown Tokyo. No, seriously. -GreyAncient)**

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter 30

"Shunusuke…" Inu Yasha squeezed his eyes shut tight and concentrated on Shunusuke, trying to wield the Jedi Mind Trick through the pain. What the hell kind of sorcery did Sesshomaru put into those weapons that they'd do this much damage? He winced as a fire shot through his veins from a dozen bullet holes in his body. The puddle of blood in which he sat had spawned a trickle that was making its way toward the dip in the middle of the alley through which rainwater was supposed to drain. Inu Yasha watched it in absent minded fascination and imagined Shunusuke's name going out of his brain, through the air to the condo and into the young telepath's brain. "This sucks," he mumbled. He leaned his head against the dumpster and closed his eyes. "Come on, Shunusuke! Where the hell are you?"

"I'm in my truck, cruising around Tokyo, looking for you, you idiot!" Shunusuke grumbled as he drove through the streets of the big city, using Inu Yasha's persistent call as a homing beacon. He was getting close, he could feel it. The other thing he could feel was how weak Inu Yasha was becoming, which he found horribly distressing. Feelings of excruciating pain came to him in Inu Yasha's thoughts along with his name. What had happened to him? And why hadn't Sesshomaru's operatives been able to protect him? As soon as he thought that, Shunusuke knew the answer: Inu Yasha had probably done something incredibly reckless and put himself right into the heart of danger. In the short time he'd known the demon, Shunusuke had learned that fights drew Inu Yasha like a moth to a flame. He probably hadn't been able to resist "lending a hand" at the well and had wound up getting in over his head.

Shunusuke realized he'd found Inu Yasha just as he drove past the alley in which the demon was hiding. He slammed on the brakes, backed up and pulled into the narrow side street. Inu Yasha was a little more than halfway down the alley, huddled against a dumpster in a pool of his own blood. By the time Shunusuke jumped out of the truck to check his condition, Inu Yasha was unconscious, and Shunusuke had his explanation for the weakness he'd sensed. One, Inu Yasha was shot up pretty badly and two, he didn't feel much like a youkai. His experience with his father told him what was going on and why Inu Yasha had to get away from the resort so badly: It was his time of the month to turn human.

"You could've told me," he griped as he returned to the truck to get his phone. "Sesshomaru isn't going to be happy with you."

Sesshomaru answered on the first ring, and Shunusuke told him without preamble: "I found your brother in an alley. He's been shot numerous times and will probably bleed to death if he doesn't get treatment soon."

"Where are you?"

Shunusuke hesitated, then decided to tell Sesshomaru he knew the truth instead of answer the question. "I know it's his time. I can feel it," he told the demon lord bluntly. "I don't think you want anybody but your people taking care of him tonight."

Silence for a few heartbeats, then Sesshomaru said: "I've traced your location. Stay there and watch over him. I have a team on the way."

Shunusuke gave his phone a sour look, as if it had allowed itself to be used to track him. "Right. I'll do what I can for him in the meantime, but I'm no paramedic."

Sesshomaru sighed, then asked in a steely voice: "What will you do with what you've learned, Asano?"

Shunusuke had to laugh a little. They still didn't trust him. Well, maybe that was to be expected, all things considered. "I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing unusual here. It's just Inu Yasha."

That seemed to satisfy Sesshomaru for the time being. "Is he conscious?"

"No, and I'm standing in a puddle of his blood."

Sigh. "Shit. I should have known he couldn't follow orders." With that, Sesshomaru hung up.

"Nice family you have, Inu Yasha," Shunusuke joked as he put the phone back into his truck. "That Sesshomaru's a regular Teddy Bear." He squatted beside his friend and started removing his blood soaked kimono. "Let's see how bad this is…" he muttered. He gently pulled Inu Yasha's shirt off of his shoulders and had to look away for a moment at what lay beneath. He was aware of the damage youkai-specific ammunition could do to demon flesh but he'd never seen it first-hand. Inu Yasha's chest had eight bullet holes in it, three of which seemed to be from bullets that had entered through his back and exited through his chest. The chest holes also went straight through. However, the wounds were growing, seeming to melt the surrounding tissue into a sickening mess of blood and gore. The stench was so terrible that Shunusuke had to hold his shirt over his nose to deal with it. No bullets to dig out, at least, not that he would've known how or had the tools to do it.

Further inspection turned up dozens of boiling wounds on Inu Yasha's arms and legs. No bullets in any of the holes. Whether that was a property of the ordinance, or just dumb luck, Shunusuke couldn't tell. It didn't matter, though. The damage was done…and was continuing to be done. He hoped Sesshomaru's "team" would get there soon, or he feared they'd lose Inu Yasha. He repeated Sesshomaru's sentiment with a heavy, worried sigh: "Why can't you just follow orders? You live longer that way. Hell, I'll bet you had to be a hero, didn't you?" He ran his fingers through his hair, then realized Inu Yasha was shivering and pulled the demon's clothes back into place. Didn't help. "Now look at you: Dying in a stinking alley in a puddle of your own blood. Very melodramatic, but not exactly a glorious way to go. I mean," he leaned his back against the dumpster and mused, "what'll Kagome think of you going out like this? She'll just die. You know how she feels about you—she probably had her whole future planned around you being in it, and here you are, disintegrating behind a trash bin. The son of the Great Demon of the Western Lands, bearer of the legendary Tetsusaiga…dying in an alley with the garbage." He chuckled nervously and added: "And I don't mean me."

He felt the humans before he heard or saw them. They ran into the alley, and one of them pulled Shunusuke out of the way while the other stuck a syringe into Inu Yasha's arm and injected several cc's of a yellowish liquid into his vein. The other man plopped down a small, black, leather bag, ripped it open and pulled out a bottle of liquid the same color as the stuff in the syringe and a packet of surgical gauze.

Shunusuke gaped. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. No way were these guys Sesshomaru's "team"! There was just no way! First of all, they were human…but that aside, they were—"Chow Yun Fat?! And Jackie Chan?! No way do you guys work for—"

"Sesshomaru," Fat grunted. "We need your truck."

Shunusuke hesitated. "Uh…sure…but I'm driving."

They glared, Shunusuke glared back. He surmised that the liquid was an antidote of some kind, since the flesh stopped boiling and melting as soon as it got doused with the yellow stuff. While Shunusuke was watching Jackie Chan doctor Inu Yasha, Chow Yun Fat pulled a gun out of his jacket and stuck it in the young Asano's face.

"No. I'm driving. You get a taxi."

Shunusuke held up his hands in surrender. "I'm on his side! I won't leave him."

Unimpressed, Fat waved the gun to indicate Shunusuke should divvy up his keys. The idea of fighting Chow Yun Fat crossed Shunusuke's mind very briefly, then good sense got the better of him and he indicated with his head that the keys were in the truck. Fat pocketed the keys but tossed Shunusuke the phone. "Call a taxi."

"Will I ever see my truck alive again?" Shunusuke asked sarcastically as he caught the phone. "Or should I have my father bill Sesshomaru for it?"

The only answer he got was an amused snort and a shove to get him out of the way while Fat went 'round to the back of the truck to lower the tailgate so Chan could lay Inu Yasha in the truck bed. "Blankets?"

That was when Shunusuke remembered his swords were in the utility box near the cab. He jumped into the bed, then remembered he no longer had the keys. "I want my swords out of here before you drive off into the sunset with my hard-earned wheels," he told them coldly and held out his hand for the keys.

Fat gave him the keys and allowed him to remove his swords from the box. Shunusuke also took out a blanket, which he spread over Inu Yasha before closing and locking the utility box. He then returned the keys to Chow Yun Fat and jumped out of the truck bed. "Sure you won't let me come with you?"

Glare.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," Shunusuke sighed and stood back to watch his truck drive away. The first person he called was Yuki to come fetch him, then he called Sesshomaru to bitch about his truck and demand to know where Inu Yasha was being taken. His question was left unanswered when Sesshomaru got sick of his griping and hung up on him. "Asshole."

It was only after he'd settled himself against the wall of a building to wait for Yuki that he realized there wasn't any blood in the alley anymore. "Damn! What was that stuff?!"

* * *

Back at the condo, Kagome was wigging out. "Shot?! How many times? How bad is he? Where is he? Why does Shunusuke need a ride from you?"

"Because Sesshomaru's boys took his truck to take Inu Yasha somewhere Sesshomaru better tell us about," Yuki snapped back as she angrily punched numbers on her cellular phone while she and Kagome jumped into her Beemer.

Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Myouga were hot on their heels, demanding to be allowed to come along.

"We'll be right back! Just sit tight!" Yuki fired up the car with an unnecessary punch on the gas pedal and spun out of the drive, leaving them in her dust.

"How dare she?!" Sango growled and threw a rock at the departing car. "What if he needs our help!" She screamed. "You bitch, come back here!"

Miroku's hand on her arm stopped her from chasing the car on foot. "You'll never catch her. Come on, let's go down to the hotel and see what we can beat out of Sesshomaru."

The others followed the priest, though no one really thought they could beat anything out of the demon lord, and anyway, he seemed to respond better to reason in this time. Maybe if they just got in his face…

* * *

"Don't give me 'it's none of your business', you conceited asshole!" Yuki screamed into the phone as she pealed onto the main highway, headed for Tokyo. "You tell us where your boys took Inu—DON'T HANG UP ON ME YOU—son of a bitch. I hate that guy!" She hit redial. It rang five times, Sesshomaru answered and hung up. She did it again, he did it again. This went on for two more times before he switched off his phone. "Oooh that mangy, good for nothing, low-life, scum-sucking—"

"—rat fink, stuck-up—"

Together: "JERK!"

That made them feel only marginally better, so they spent the drives describing all the terrible things they planned to do to Sesshomaru as soon as they had his fluffy-tailed backside in range. Inu Yasha would've been proud.

"I have an idea!" Yuki dialed Keiichi's number at the hotel.

He picked up after more than ten rings, sounding out of breath and not very happy with her. "What?!"

"What's your problem?" Yuki retorted indignantly.

"I was in the shower, Asano!" Then he realized Yuki sounded like she was in the car, which struck him as odd considering she should have been getting primped for the dance. "Are you in your car?"

Yuki briefed him super-fast: "Inu Yasha got shot, and some of Sesshomaru's little creeps took him somewhere in Shunusuke's truck. I'm on my way to pick up Shunusuke. Sesshomaru won't tell us where they've taken Inu Yasha, so I was wondering if you'd—"

"Sesshomaru?" Keiichi repeated thoughtfully, "which one was he?"

"Duh! The white-haired demon lord with the furry tail and expensive clothes! The guy with stripes on his face. Remember him now?"

Pause. "Yeah, I remember him. Just calm down, Yuki, and tell me how Inu Yasha got shot."

"Never mind that now!" Yuki all but shouted back, then took a few deep breaths and tried it again. "I need you to find Sesshomaru and make him tell you where he sent Inu Yasha."

"You must be joking," Keiichi snorted. "He's a demon lord. Hello! I don't think he's going to cough up information for me if he wouldn't give it to you. What about those other people Inu Yasha was with? Where are they?"

They were mad at her just then, actually, which was why Yuki had hesitated to call. Anyway, they weren't at the hotel, and Keiichi was. That explanation didn't hold water with Keiichi. "Asano, I can't help you. I'm just this human guy with no spine. He'll growl at me, and it'll be end of conversation. Demons scare me, ok? Demons lords even more so."

Sigh. "I just want you to talk to him," Yuki pleaded, "make him take my call."

"As if…" Kagome muttered.

Yuki glared at her though she knew Kagome and Keiichi were right. "Sorry. You're right. I'll, um, see you tonight I guess. Things could get hot, Kei'. Just warning you."

"Lovely," he chuckled and hung up.

Yuki tried the condo but got no answer, which she actually found heartening since she could guess where her friends were: On their way to the hotel to have a talk with Sesshomaru. Too bad she couldn't ask any of her father's minions to do the job, since any of them might have been among those who'd shot Inu Yasha. From Shunusuke's description of the young demon's condition when he'd last seen him, Inu Yasha's prognosis didn't sound too good. However, that miracle yellow stuff was interesting. It sounded like it was some sort of antidote to whatever went into youkai-specific ammo. The fact that it had eliminated all evidence that a bleeding man had been in the alley was most disturbing. She'd always known high tech was an integral part of her father's secret business but what the stuff did, exactly, remained a mystery, since her father didn't seem inclined to ever let her join the firm. Just because she happened to have been born a girl. As if that made any kind of real difference!

* * *

Shinai appeared in his mistress' path between the bathroom and her closet. She was wearing nothing but a towel wrapped about herself, which Shinai thought rather suited her but would look better over a chair at the moment. Before she could claw him, he grinned and chirped: "I know a secret about Inu Yasha…"

She paused with her arm raised, then slowly lowered it with a look that was mixture of curiosity and mistrust. "Go on."

"What will you give me in exchange for this information?" He countered, tugging at the front of the towel with a claw.

She smacked his hand away with a growl. "I'll spare your life for being so cheeky. Now spill it, I'm busy."

The kitsune coughed and dropped the attitude. "Tonight's his night to be human. I smelled it on him at the Shrine."

Much to Shinai's surprise, Hisui wasn't in the least bit impressed. She waved a dismissing hand at him, then opened the closet to make her wardrobe selection for the evening. "I guessed as much," she drawled, holding up a red dress, then making a face and putting it back. "Why else would he need to get out of here on such short notice when the Jewel and his woman are here? And why would his darling brother go to so much trouble to help him escape, if not to ensure his secret was kept? Honestly, Darling, it was so obvious a child could have sorted it out." She held a green dress that sparkled with crystal beads against herself and asked brightly: "What do you think, Darling? Is it too much?"

Shinai looked like he wanted to die. She knew? "Why did you want to keep him here, Lady?" He asked, then added at her impatient glare: "I like the green. It's very flattering. Brings out your eyes."

"You don't think the beads are too much?"

"Well, it is a black tie affair, isn't it?" He told her irritably. "So, no, the beads wouldn't be too much. Why not just let Inu Yasha go? Do you have any idea how many good people we lost today?"

"Seventeen," she replied coolly and let the towel drop to the floor. Shinai was disappointed to discover she wearing panties and a strapless bra under it, the little tease. She went to the dresser and pulled out a garter and a pair of silk stockings, pulled on the garter then sat on the edge of the bed to put on the stockings. All of this drove Shinai positively insane. "How good could they be if they didn't survive," she went on blithely, ignoring his steamy stare.

"I survived," he reminded her absently, his eyes glued to her long, pale legs.

"I noticed that," she stood up and twisted about to make sure the seams in her hose were straight, then stepped into the dress and turned around for Shinai to zip it for her. "You'll find a little something extra in your paycheck this month. Now go away and find out where Inu Yasha is now."

"Dead, probably," Shinai purred as he adjusted the spaghetti straps on her dress and enjoyed the fact that he wasn't getting swatted for it. "He was shot numerous times though the torso with anti-youkai bullets, then slunk off after me. Probably dead in the middle of a street somewhere."

Hisui's mouth twitched with the effort of forcing a bland expression to stay on her face. "Find his body, then, and bring it to me. I think I'll give his head to Sesshomaru to teach him not to challenge me again. Now go." She waved her hand at him.

He dropped a quick, daring kiss onto her bare shoulder and disappeared before she could claw him for it.

* * *

"Do you people have a death wish?" Jaken squawked when Miroku declared their determination to make Sesshomaru tell them what he'd done with Inu Yasha. "Inu Yasha's working for him. You're not. Now go away while you can still do so with your hides attached to your bones!"

Miroku picked up the little demon and gave him a really good, hard shake, then reiterated his demand. "Take us to Sesshomaru now."

"Or we'll throw you into the sea and go find him ourselves!" Sango added through bared teeth.

Jaken struggled in Miroku's hands and snarled: "So what? I can swim, and you'll never find him if he doesn't want to be found!" Then his expression suddenly brightened. "My Lord! I'm so glad you're here! These horrible creatures—"

"Put him down, Priest," Sesshomaru's quiet voice growled in Miroku's ear while his sharp claws dug into the base of the priest's neck. Miroku opened his hands and let Jaken fall to the patio deck with a plop and curse.

The claws were traded for a firm hand that turned Miroku around and pushed him through the tables to one overlooking the beach. On the table were an open laptop computer, a cell phone, a beeper and a Midori and soda with a little pink paper umbrella in it. There were four chairs, and Sesshomaru shoved Miroku into one of them, then sat across from him in front of the computer. Sango and Shippo took the other two chairs, with Myouga on Sango's shoulder. They looked a lot less brave than they did while threatening Jaken.

"I wouldn't tell Yuki where Inu Yasha is because she's Mikoto's daughter," Sesshomaru told them tightly. "My operatives are taking him somewhere safe while the antidote does its work. Inu Yasha was shot by anti-youkai weapons, which use a poison that acts like an acid to youkai flesh. As you know, the poison will become less effective anyway as this night wears on, but at this time Inu Yasha's life is still very much in danger." He took a sip of his drink. "Don't worry. I won't let him die but I think his secret is out. Someone I have yet to identify smelled him at the Shrine, then disappeared. That would be a kitsune trick, but it doesn't narrow the field very much since both Hisui and Mikoto use many kitsune."

"It was probably one of the twins," Myouga thought aloud, nodding sagely to himself.

Sesshomaru shrugged. "Perhaps. Regardless, the enemy now knows my brother's secret. However, they most likely also believe him to be dead by now, since their operative would have told them Inu Yasha had been shot many times. My men informed me they arrived just in time to save him. He'll recover." Sesshomaru checked his watch, then looked up at the hotel with a weary sigh. "I need to get ready for the Ball." He shut down the computer and put the phone and beeper into his jacket pockets.

Shippo hopped onto the computer to stop him. "Wait a minute! You can't just leave like this! Where's Inu Yasha? How do we know he'll be safe from whoever shot him before?"

Sesshomaru favored him with an irritated growl and brushed him off the laptop with no effort. "Because the people who shot him are dead, and I don't believe Hisui or Mikoto will waste any more people on hunting him down. The point was to keep him from leaving this time, and they've succeeded in doing that. Now go prepare yourselves for the dance and leave Inu Yasha to me."

"But—" Shippo started but changed his mind at the look in the demon lord's eyes.

They watched Sesshomaru until he entered the hotel, then reluctantly returned to the condo to wait for news of Inu Yasha and maybe still get ready to go to the Ball. Right at the moment, they didn't feel very much like partying.

* * *

Jackie Chan and Chow Yun Fat turned down the road to one of Sesshomaru's safe houses only to find their way blocked by a teenaged girl in a sequined sailor fuku, holding a sparkling crystal wand with a pink, crystal star on the end of it. They didn't stop for her, so she flipped up over the cab and into the truck bed, landing with her feet to either side of Inu Yasha's body. It was at that very moment that Inu Yasha came to and found himself looking up some strange girl's skirt.

"By the power of the ancient dragon gods, I Sailor Pretty Rei Rei punish you!" She shouted and brought the wand down onto the cab hard. The roof disintegrated in an explosion of shrapnel.

That's when Chow Yun Fat decided it was time to stop the truck and deal with pretty little Miss Thing. He and Jackie Chan jumped up to fight, but their quarry somersaulted over their heads onto the hood, then into the road, where she spun her wand around in the air, then struck a valiant pose. The Chinese looked at each other in puzzlement, then shrugged, sat back down, threw the truck into gear and floored it.

Inu Yasha was just plain confused. His eyes told him he'd just ogled some strange girl's sparkly underwear, but his brain told him underwear wasn't sparkly. It was silky and came in pastel colors. No sparkly things, though. He also seemed to recall that the entire girl sparkled, which he figured was just as absurd as her panties sparkling. Therefore, he reasoned, he was still delirious from the poison and should try to pass out again. But why was the truck swerving around like that? And had he imagined an explosion? Hm, he thought, better investigate. That was easier thought than done, he discovered when he tried to sit up to see around him, only to be thrown into the side of the truck bed when it cornered on two wheels then slammed back down again onto all four.

"Hey, you assholes!" He shouted in the general direction of the cab. "You got wounded back here! OW! SHIT!" He was slammed backward into the truck box, then he skidded all the way to the other end of the bed and crashed into the tailgate. "WILL YOU CRAZY MUTHER FUCKERS QUIT—OOF!" And into the truck box again. He grabbed hold of the top of the box and cringed from the pain of ribs he was convinced were broken, or at least cracked.

Then the magical girl landed on his back, which didn't help his body or his temper at all. Fortunately, she backflipped into the cab before he could figure out how to hang on and still claw her legs.

"Evil minions of Mikoto Asano," she announced while dancing out of the way of blows to her legs and ignoring the pistol that got pointed at her, "I will punish you for depriving the world of—"

Fat slammed on the breaks, throwing her onto the hood of the truck and Inu Yasha's head into the truck box. Both victims had unpleasant words handy to express their feelings, but Jackie Chan spoke first.

"We don't work for Asano, you crazy freak! We work for Lord Sesshomaru. Asano is at the Green Mermaid hotel." He jabbed a thumb in the direction of the resort.

"Liar!" She shouted as she clung to the windshield wipers. "This is his son's truck!"

"We borrowed it," Chan explained with an innocent shrug.

"At gunpoint," Fat added, displaying his pistol to illustrate.

She thought about that. "Where's Shunusuke, then?"

They shrugged. "He called a taxi to take him back to the resort," Chan told her.

She didn't like that answer. Her face purpled with rage as she screamed: "You let him live?!"

Inu Yasha was just regaining consciousness from having his head rammed into a truck box when he heard the exchange about Shunusuke. He shook the cobwebs out of his brain and pulled himself onto the utility box so he could look at the homicidal sparkle girl while he talked to her. "He better not be dead, bitch, or I'll take your little fairy wand and shove it up your ass!"

She didn't find him convincing in his ripped up pink kimono, puppy dog ears and messy white mop of hair. "What are you supposed to be?"

"Look who's talking!" Inu Yasha started to climb into the cab, but got shoved back into the truck bed by Chan and Fat. So he went over the side, instead, landed flat on his face with a painful moan, which was as far as he could get before passing out again.

Chan sighed and got out of the truck to put Inu Yasha back into the bed. "Listen, lady," he told the magical girl as he brushed dust off his hands then leaned against the side of the truck to regard her with much impatience, "we don't have time for this. I told you where to find Asano, so why don't you run along and—"

"Don't patronize me!" She shrieked and let herself slide off the hood. Being a magical girl, she struck a pose as soon as her feet hit the ground. "And stop lying! Why else would you have a demon for an ally if you weren't working for Mikoto Asano?"

Chan shook his head and got back in the truck. "Someone needs a clue," he joked to his partner. "Let's go."

And they drove off again, leaving the irate magical girl coughing in a cloud of dust. As she angrily brushed off her costume, Rei Rei swore: "That's it. They're goin' down!" She posed, closed her eyes, raised her wand and cried: "Magical Soul Power of Love Convergence!" Pastel colored light burst forth from her wand and shot out toward the truck like a comet. It hit and engulfed the truck, its exasperated occupants and the magical girl in a bubble of pretty, sparkling clouds of pink, lavender, yellow and baby blue. Silver and gold stars glittered and swirled through the bubble and danced on the hood of the truck.  
"Shit," Chow Yun Fat swore, "it's a Pretty Space Bubble. I hate these things." He exchanged a look with Jackie Chan, then they turned around to look at Inu Yasha, whose expression was part nausea and part amazement. His furry ears drooped, and his jaw hung open as he watched the pretty stars zip around his head.

"Hey demon," Chan asked and thumped Inu Yasha on the shoulder to get his attention. "Do you have any magic to get rid of a Pretty Space Bubble?"

Blink-blink-blink. "Pretty Space…?" Inu Yasha's expression darkened and he pulled Tetsusaiga forth from its scabbard with a disgusted roar. "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ATTACK IS A PRETTY SPACE BUBBLE?!"

"It's keeping you from going anywhere, isn't it?" Rei Rei mocked and stuck her tongue out at him. She floated over his head in a swirling cocoon of stars.

Inu Yasha slashed at her, but she dodged. Tetsusaiga refused to transform since she was human, so Inu Yasha had to endure her hassling him for having a crummy sword. Then she laid into her opinion of men who wore pink, which made Inu Yasha's overactive macho mojo really shift into overdrive.

Jackie Chan sighed an shook his head at his partner. "I don't think he knows any magic. Think the phone works inside Pretty Space?"

"One way to find out," Fat produced a phone from inside his jacket and tried to call Sesshomaru. He got a recording telling him his mobile service was temporarily out of order and to please try to place his call later. He put the phone away with a resigned frown. "Guess we'll just have to do this the old fashioned way."

Chan didn't look terribly enthusiastic about beating up on a cute, teenage girl in a silly costume, but he got out of the truck with his partner and prepared to fight.

Meanwhile, Inu Yasha was turning every shade of red trying to whack the magical girl to bits and missing every stroke. Finally, he ran out of juice and collapsed to his knees to catch his breath. He was painfully aware that the afternoon was rapidly waning, and soon he'd start to show human traits. If this magical girl saw him like that, there was only one thing left to do: Kill her before she could tell anybody else. Hell, he decided, kill her anyway for being such an annoying bitch.

* * *

Back at the hotel, Mikoto was feeling terribly pleased with himself. One of his spies had witnessed the Pretty Space Bubble attack and reported to his boss that Operation: Magical Girl was in full swing. Letting Rei Rei have her wand back was, in Mikoto's humble opinion, a stroke of genius. Of course, Sesshomaru's operatives borrowing Shunusuke's truck to transport Inu Yasha to safety had been pure luck, not planning, but it had all worked out much better than he'd imagined because of it. He only wished he could see what was going on inside the Bubble. Two of Hong Kong cinema's biggest stars and one mortally wounded half-demon battling a ridiculous magical girl in a pastel bubble. Damn fine comedy, that.

* * *

"I can feel him!" Shunusuke insisted. "It'll be easier to find him if you let me drive!" He pushed his sister away from the driver's side door.

She pushed back. "Just get in the back seat and give me directions, Shunusuke!"

Kagome snatched the keys out of Yuki's hand with an angry snarl and pressed them into Shunusuke's palm. "Yuki, let him drive. We don't have time for this!" With that, she opened the driver's door and got into the back seat, leaving the passenger seat for Yuki.

Shunusuke gave his sister a smirk, then pushed her aside and got behind the wheel. "Trust me. I'm a really good driver."

"You've rolled every truck you've ever owned!" She argued but got in on the passenger side, anyway.

"But not one, single car!" He shot back with a triumphant grin. He turned the key, floored the gas pedal, took off the emergency brake, then lifted his foot off the brake and rammed the car into second gear in a shriek of burning rubber.

The girls screamed and hung on for dear life as Shunusuke fishtailed on the turn onto the main road, then wove through traffic like a maniac. "This thing corners like it's on fuckin' rails, Yuki!"

"If you total my Beemer, Shunusuke," Yuki wailed as she fought to get her seatbelt on without getting tossed into her brother's lap on another turn, "you are so dead!"

In the back seat, Kagome was praying with the passion of a saint.


	31. Chapter 31

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Thirty One

Inu Yasha and his allies had the same thought at the same moment: They had to get the magical girl's baton if they wanted to defeat her anytime soon. After all, that's how Mikoto had done it. And why wasn't she still in China? That's what Inu Yasha wanted to know as he watched Pretty Rei Rei (and what was up with that "pretty" shit? He didn't think she was that great) fly around over his head, occasionally zapping him with bursts of energy prefaced with "By the power of the universal spirits I punish you!" And what in the hell did she think she was punishing him for, huh? What'd he ever do to her? He'd just been minding his own business, trying to recover from some weird poison he'd been shot with and get someplace where nobody would see him change into a human…then Pretty Bitch Bitch comes sailing in with her sparkly panties and Pretty Space and says she's gonna punish him! What was the deal?

Pretty Rei Rei turned her attention to Chow Yun-Fat and shouted: "By the power of the universal spirits I punish you!"

To which he replied with a growl: "By the power of Smith and Wesson I punish _you_!" And fired a few rounds into her energy shield, which deflected the projectiles very nicely.

"Plan B?" Asked his partner casually.

"Plan B," he nodded.

Inu Yasha stopped trying to break through Rei Rei's shield with his claws long enough to ask: "What's 'Plan B'?"

The Chinese grinned, and Jackie Chan suggested Inu Yasha get back in the truck. When the demon was sitting on the utility box, they got back into the cab, started it up and pealed off toward the edge of the Pretty Space Bubble.

"Will that work?" Inu Yasha shouted at them worriedly. In his experience, one didn't just go through magical barriers. "Maybe you shouldn't drive so fast…"

The barrier came closer and closer, but still Fat wouldn't slow down. Inu Yasha watched the pretty pastel wall with its froo-froo stars, hearts and flowers come closer and closer until it was right there in front of them. With a panicked yelp, he jumped out of the bed just as the truck hit the wall—and stuck there. Pretty Space bulged out with a BOOOOIIIINNNNGGGGG, then very slowly pushed back against the vehicle that was spinning its tires against it. Finally, Fat had to shut down and let Pretty Space win. "Shit."

Sparks flew as Rei Rei alighted on the metal hood of the truck without powering down her energy barrier. With an embarrassed look, she got rid of the field and struck a pose. Chan and Inu Yasha jumped onto the hood at the same time. Chan held the girl while Inu Yasha grabbed her wand and stuck it inside his kimono.

"I can't believe you're that stupid!" He sneered. "You just had to come down here and mock us for not being able to drive through your stupid Pretty Space, didn't—eh?"

Sparkles surrounded Rei Rei as the spell that made her a magical girl disappeared, unable to stay in place without her wand. When the light show ended, Pretty Space disappeared, and Jackie Chan was holding onto a girl of about Kagome's age, dressed in a pair of white shorts and a pink top. She looked utterly mortified. "Go ahead," she said and hung her head, refusing to look at her captors, "take me back to Mikoto, or just kill me now."

"I told you," Jackie said, "we don't work for Asano. We work for the Great Demon of the West, Sesshomaru. This is his brother, Inu Yasha!"

She looked at Inu Yasha, who nodded while baring his fangs at her with a snarl. "I hear you killed a Great Demon, bitch! For that alone you should die right here and now!"

She gave him a confused look and shook her head. "I didn't kill anybody! If you're talking about the Great Demon of the East, Mikoto and his disgusting mother killed him and then blamed me for it. I mean, it's embarrassing enough for a Great Demon to be killed by a mortal, right? But to be killed by some cheesy magical girl is the ultimate humiliation!"

Inu Yasha didn't buy that. "If Mikoto killed the old man, how come he's the guardian for the heir? And I was told Mikoto and the Great Demon of the East were pretty tight."

"That was how Mikoto got on Kouri's good side so he could get close enough to kill him. Shiori—the boy—didn't see any of it, so he believed Mikoto." When the others gave her a really skeptical look, she pleaded: "I'm telling the truth! Come on, you guys, you don't seriously think I could kill a Great Demon, do you?"

Good point. Considering how easily they'd been able to disarm her, she probably wasn't a match for Mikoto and Hisui—if what she said was true. "So how did you get involved?" Chan asked suspiciously. "What are you to any of them?"

Her eyes misted up as she replied: "My little sister was Shiori's friend until they made him believe I killed his father. He went to her school for a while, then he started looking too demon-like and had to do home schooling instead." She sniffled. "He loved his dad and Mikoto, too. He called him Uncle Mikoto, they were that close. But it was all a trick!"

She was so distraught that Chan had to help her sit on the hood while she clung to him and had a good cry. "I can't believe I just got defeated by Jackie Chan and Chow Yun Fat!" She sobbed and laughed at the same time. "This is so cool! I loved 'Drunken Master'!" She looked at Fat and added: "And 'Hard Boiled' rocked!"

Inu Yasha had no bloody idea what she was talking about, but it seemed to make his partners happy. His mind was busy working on what she'd told him. Hisui and Mikoto killed the Great Demon of the East, leaving his son under their control. Hisui was sleeping with the Great Demon of the West and was herself the Great Demon of the North. The Great Demon of the South hated her guts, which meant Hisui's only viable competition was in the South, since she controlled (in her mind) the other directions. Inu Yasha was sure she'd like to think she could control Sesshomaru but he got the feeling it was closer to the other way around. All that added up to one thing: Hisui was consolidating her power. Leaving the Great Demon of the South alone wasn't a bad idea, since she'd have no end of challenges if she controlled all four cardinal directions. Also good was not appearing to control the East or West directly for the same reason. He wondered how much of this Sesshomaru knew or suspected, then decided he better tell him. That meant…

"I gotta get back to the hotel," Inu Yasha declared and jumped off the truck. He was trying to fly, but he was too far gone toward being human to do anything more than land in the dirt. "Shit." He tugged on the driver's side door and tried to pull Chow Yun-Fat out of the cab. Naturally he got no farther with that than with flying. "Drive me back now!"

"No," Fat told him bluntly. "We have orders."

Inu Yasha growled, but that didn't help, either. Then he got a better idea. "Fine. Give me the phone and let me call Sesshomaru."

"Why?"

"Wh-?" Inu Yasha blinked in bafflement. "Why?! What do you mean 'why'? Hisui is trying to get control of all points but the South! She's just using him to control the Western Lands! I think that's something Sesshomaru would want to know about."

The magical girl's ears pricked up at that and she looked at Inu Yasha with the lights going on in her head. "That makes sense!" She smacked her fist into her palm. "Of course! It's Hisui, not Mikoto. How could I be so stupid?"

"You wear sequined panties," Inu Yasha grumbled, "and you wonder how you were too stupid to see Hisui's the problem?"

Everyone looked at him like he was a total pervert, and Inu Yasha's cheeks colored. "I mean, you looked stupid in that outfit!"

"Why were you looking at my panties?"

Blush. "I couldn't help it, bitch! You were standing over my face!" Inu Yasha grabbed the phone Fat offered him and snarled at Rei Rei. He realized he didn't know Sesshomaru's number all of a sudden and almost crushed the phone in frustration. "What's my brother's phone number?" He grunted over his shoulder, and got laughed at for it. "Assholes…"

"Here," Fat held out his hand for the phone. Inu Yasha gave it back and waited while the man dialed Sesshomaru's line. "You brother has something to tell you." He said to Sesshomaru when he answered, then handed Inu Yasha the phone.

"Sesshomaru?" Inu Yasha hissed through his teeth, still pissed at Chow Yun-Fat for mocking him for his ignorance of technology. "Hisui's using you to get control of the Western Lands," He then told his brother the whole story and was shocked to discover the clever Sesshomaru hadn't figured out the part about the Great Demon of the East.

After a thoughtful silence, Sesshomaru asked: "What did you do about the magical girl?"

"I took her magic wand," Inu Yasha told him with a sneer. "She's just a human now."

"Rather like someone else I know," Sesshomaru chuckled humorlessly under his breath. "Bring her to me. If she argues with you, ask her how badly she wants to avenge herself on Mikoto Asano."

"What about tonight?" Inu Yasha asked quietly. "I can't go through the well; Naraku's there. That's why I came back. I can't let him see me."

Sesshomaru sighed. "I wondered why you came back. You were being taken to a safe haven when Pretty Rei Rei appeared. You can still go there, then my men can bring Rei Rei to me once you're safely hidden."

Inu Yasha thought about it. He didn't want Hisui or Mikoto or any of their allies to see him at his weakest, but at the same time he didn't want to just run and hide like a coward. Every fiber of his body cried out to return to the resort and kick some Great Demon ass, even if he had to do it with a silly magical girl. At least he'd be near Kagome and could protect her. Not that he didn't have faith in Sango's or Miroku's fighting abilities—even Shunusuke's and Yuki's—he just felt better when he was the one doing the protecting.

It was at the moment, when he thought about Shunusuke, Yuki and Kagome, that the sound of an engine being driven way too hard reached his ears. He strained his eyes to see what was coming, while his companions did the same.

"BMW," said Jackie Chan.

"That looks like—" Chow Yun-Fat began, but was interrupted by Inu Yasha excitedly exclaiming:

"Kagome!"

…and charging down the street to meet the oncoming vehicle. Shunusuke slammed on the breaks and hauled the wheel over to avoid hitting the approaching demon, who jumped onto the hood, between Yuki and Shunusuke and onto the seat next to Kagome to wrap her in an affectionate bear hug. "Kagome! Are you alright?"

"Me?" Kiss-kiss. "I was worried sick about you! There's blood all over your clothes!" Kiss-kiss-kiss. "Inu Yasha, stop it a second so I can—mrmf." Big kiss.

Rei Rei approached the car with the Chinese behind her. She gave the Asanos a powerful look of death, but was more interested in Kagome. "Higurashi? Is that you?"

"Mrf?" Kagome pushed Inu Yasha away to see who was talking to her. "Hinegeshi? You're the magical girl?!"

Rei Rei blushed and shrugged. "Surprise…"

"You killed the Great Demon of the East?" Kagome pressed her, and Inu Yasha was quick to correct her. He hurriedly ran down the whole story, watching the Asanos' reactions out of the corner of his eye. He didn't expect them to look so sad.

"Shunusuke?"

Shunusuke shook his head in disbelief. "I suspected Hisui was the real killer, but not my father. They were friends! I thought they were such good friends. Like brothers…" He looked up at Rei Rei, who still looked like she wanted to kill him. "Please believe me, my sister and I had no part in killing the Great Demon of the East and we don't endorse whatever plot my father is involved in now. We have nothing against you, Hinegeshi. Don't hold our family name against us now, when we need to work together."

"Work together to do what?" She snorted. "I want you father dead! He's a murderer a thousand times over! Do you think you can help me kill your own father?"

Shunusuke exchanged solemn looks with his sister, then turned back to Rei Rei with a sly smile. "I think it was Hisui who killed Kouri, so our focus should be on her. Inu Yasha's right: She can't be allowed to get control over any territory but her own. I wonder if my father even knew it wasn't you who killed the Great Demon? Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions."

She glared at him in silence, then turned on her heel and stalked back to the truck. "I won't help you!"

"Suit yourself," said Shunusuke.

"Wait!" Inu Yasha called after her. He jumped out of the Beemer and caught her up. "Sesshomaru wants to talk to you. He said to bring you back to the Green Mermaid."

She shook his hand off her arm with an angry snort. "As if I'd ever work for a demon!"

"If you want revenge, you'll talk to him."

There was a long pause while she considered that, then she told him resignedly: "Fine, but just talk."

"Bitch."

"You use that word a lot…"

* * *

They returned to the resort without their Chinese mega-star allies, who were ordered elsewhere by Sesshomaru. They wouldn't say where, naturally, nor if they'd be available if their help was needed again. In disgust, the others went straight to the condo and called Sesshomaru from there. Inu Yasha was reluctant to go to the hotel in his changing condition, and Rei Rei wasn't ready to face Mikoto or Hisui yet. So they asked Sesshomaru to come to them. He wouldn't. Instead, he suggested they talk at the Ball, did Rei Rei have anything fancy to wear? Of course she didn't, so Sesshomaru told Yuki he'd reimburse her for the cost of a dress if she thought she could find one for the girl on such short notice. Neither Yuki nor Rei Rei was game for that idea and, frankly, thought the Great Demon of the West was off his rocker.

"We don't have time," Yuki complained.

"I could summon a gown if Inu Yasha would give me back my wand…"

Glare.

Rei Rei shrugged and flopped down onto the couch. "Be that way."

Sesshomaru sighed and told Inu Yasha reluctantly "Give her the wand, brother. I think she realizes we're not the enemy."

"Have you lost your mind?" Inu Yasha snapped. "She'll stick us in Pretty Space or whatever! Have you ever been in Pretty Space, Sesshomaru? It sucks!"

Rei Rei gave him the finger, then went back to pouting.

"Bitch," Inu Yasha growled, "if I give you back your stupid wand, you have to swear not to put us in fucking Pretty Space—"

"Such language! I can't believe you're dating him, Higurashi." Rei Rei humphed. "You can do better. Whatever happened to Hojo?"

Ouch. Inu Yasha ground his teeth and clenched his fist around the phone. "She's useless," he muttered, "forget her."

Sesshomaru chuckled. "It's not worth the effort of fighting with her. If she won't cooperate, then keep her wand and let her go."

Inu Yasha liked those orders much better. He switched off the phone with a happy smirk for Rei Rei and crowed. "He says 'forget it', so get lost, Pretty Rei Bitch. I get to keep your wand."

She blinked at him in shock. "What? Just like that? He didn't even give me a chance! I thought you said he wanted to talk to me!"

"He did," Inu Yasha sneered, "but you wanted to be difficult. The door's over there." He pointed at it, but she didn't budge.

"I can help," she pouted. "I'm sorry I was 'difficult'. If you put me out there without my wand, Mikoto'll kill me! I'll be helpless!"

"Too bad, so sad," Inu Yasha chirped.

Yuki shook her head. "You're enjoying this way too much."

Kagome chimed in: "Give her a break, Inu Yasha. Maybe she can help us—"

"Do what?" Inu Yasha argued. "We're just going to a stupid dance. No big deal."

Kagome wanted to say "except that you'll be human and everybody will see you" but didn't. Obviously the magical girl didn't know about that, and Inu Yasha still looked like his usual self, so there was no reason for a human to suspect anything was wrong. "You don't plan to go, do you? I mean, you…um…you hate these silly human things, right?"

Inu Yasha silently thanked her for not blabbing his secret in front of Rei Rei. "Yeah, but it means a lot to you, so I want to be there."

Kagome's heart caught in her throat. Was he being sensitive? Her Inu Yasha, sensitive? Was the world coming to an end?

Sango voiced Kagome's thoughts with an incredulous snort. "I can't believe you of all people just said something that sweet, Inu Yasha." She gave his skull a playful rap with her knuckles. "You must've hit your head in that fight."

Inu Yasha glared at her, but his cheeks were bright red.

"You mean you want to be there in case there's trouble, right?" Shippo jumped in to give Inu Yasha a macho way out of his embarrassment.

"To protect Kagome," Miroku added with a nod to Shippo.

Inu Yasha shrugged. "You guys can do that," he said as he took off his soiled coat, then the shirt underneath and threw them over the back of the couch. Kagome gasped at the sight of his blood smeared chest, but he waved off her concern. "The wounds are healed. I'm going to bathe." He pointed the magic wand at Rei Rei and growled: "And I don't want to see you here when I come back, bitch."

Through teary eyes, she snapped: "Stop calling me that!"

Kagome put a hand on Inu Yasha's arm, forcing him to look into her eyes. "You shouldn't call women that. I hate it."

Blink. Blink. "Oh…uh…" Inu Yasha bit his lip and ducked his head. "Sorry." He pulled away and disappeared into the bathroom.

Kagome sat down by Rei Rei and put her arm around the girl's shoulders. "Don't mind Inu Yasha," she told her soothingly, "he's just gruff like that. He doesn't mean it. Usually."

Rei Rei put her head on Kagome's shoulder and cried. "I've been so scared. I know Mikoto'll kill me this time! He let me have my wand back, so he could say I attacked him!"

"Well, that did seem to be your plan," Shunusuke muttered, but no one heard him. He went out onto the porch and closed the door behind him so he could think. After a few moments, his sister joined him.

"What do we do now?" She asked wearily. "Do we fight Daddy, or what?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and wished he was a million miles away. He firmly believed Hisui was their real problem, so fighting his father was a moot point unless Mikoto was on Hisui's side in spite of his claims to the contrary. "I don't know, Yuki," he whispered, "I really don't know what we're going to do. Maybe nothing will happen tonight, after all."

After a while, Yuki said: "Yeah, right," and sunk down onto the deck to consider their options.

* * *

Inu Yasha emerged from the bath with one towel around his waist while he rubbed his wet hair with another, the magic wand clenched in his teeth. He growled at Rei Rei for still being there, then went into his bedroom to get dressed. Sesshomaru had sent a tuxedo home with him earlier to keep up the pretense that Inu Yasha was going to the dance. Turned out he'd need it after all. He sat on the edge of the bed to finish drying his hair and tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing by staying. There was still time to get to Sesshomaru's hiding place before the physical evidence of his change started to show. He tossed the towel onto a chair in the corner of the room and lay back to plan what he'd do when everyone saw him walk into the ballroom as a human.

All at once, a smirk crossed his lips and he chuckled: "Bet Hisui'll say I still have a great ass."

He played with Rei Rei's wand as he fantasized about dancing with Kagome and having absolutely nothing dangerous happen all night. In his imagination, they all had a great time, then all but Shunusuke and Yuki returned to the past the next day. Even Pretty Rei Rei got a happy ending, and Hisui just went away. Sigh. "Who am I kidding?"

Well, maybe the magical bitch deserved a happy ending as much as he and Kagome did. Inu Yasha went back into the living room, threw Rei Rei's wand into her lap, then turned around and went back into the bedroom without a word. Rei Rei stared at after him in disbelief long after he'd closed the door behind himself, then she turned to Kagome with a wicked smirk and quipped: "He may be a jerk, but he has a totally killer ass!"

"Not you, too!" Kagome moaned.

* * *

Hisui wrapped her arms around Sesshomaru from behind and nuzzled his neck. "Will we all get to see your little brother as a human, Darling?"

He froze, then finished tying his tie. Hisui came around in front of him to fuss over the bow tie and enjoy his mild discomfort. "Didn't you think I'd figure it out? He is a half-blood, after all, and they all have one day a month when they're mostly human. As many half-human children as I've had, of course I knew exactly why Inu Yasha was in such a hurry to disappear—without any of his little friends. That was the most suspicious part: The people from his time didn't go back with him, so whatever it was couldn't be all that important. So I reasoned it must be his time of the month."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and went to dig up some appropriate cufflinks from a small leather box with a tiny combination lock on it on the dresser. "I knew you'd figure it out, Hisui," he told her blandly as he put on cufflinks and closed and locked the box. "I just didn't want you in a position to take advantage of his weakness."

She wrapped him in her arms as he turned away from the dresser and purred: "Will you leave me if I kill Inu Yasha, Darling?"

He sighed and refused to return her embrace. "In a manner of speaking, yes: If you kill my brother, who is in my employ, I'll have to kill you. You know I don't want to do that, so don't put me in that position, hm?" He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head and went into the bathroom to fix his hair.

Hisui smirked and watched him go. Tonight would be the best fun she'd had in simply ages. Killing was easy and only entertaining for a short time. Terrorism prolonged her enjoyment. The only question was where to begin. Sesshomaru had only suggested reparations if she killed Inu Yasha. He didn't say anything about bringing the boy close to death, nor did he seem especially concerned about what she did to Inu Yasha's friends. Except that girl…what was her name? Kagome. Alright, she wouldn't kill Kagome, either, but that didn't preclude injuring or terrifying her. Of course, she could always make it look like it was all Mikoto's doing… That had always worked rather well in the past. She sat on the end of the bed and giggled. There were times when she was actually glad she'd had that boy.

* * *

"What fool ties a noose around his own neck?!" Inu Yasha protested as Kagome adjusted his bow tie. He tugged at the collar of the starched shirt, and got his hand slapped away. "Do I have to wear these uncomfortable clothes?"

"Wait till you put on the shoes," Kagome told him with a wink. "You're so used to going barefoot, you'll hate 'em. But you have to wear shoes, Inu Yasha, ok? You have to."

He frowned and reached up to tug the shirt collar again. She slapped his hand. "Kagome…"

"Deal with it. At least you don't have to wear high heels, like I do."

Inu Yasha wasn't sure what those were but he guessed they were a female form of foot torture. Why did humans put themselves through this kind of thing to impress each other? He and Kagome had already gotten past that part of the courtship ritual, so why couldn't they just relax and be comfortable with each other? Sigh. Well, he wouldn't wear rags to a formal occasion in his time, so he guessed they were out of the question here. Anyway, it made Kagome happy and she'd actually said he looked gorgeous in a tux! (Ok, the actual phrasing had been "all men look gorgeous in a tux", but he knew she meant him.) Speaking of gorgeous, her dress was…oh boy. It was blue silk, form-hugging, low in the front, lower in the back and had a slit up one leg almost to her hip. The first time he'd seen her in it, she'd blushed and asked if he thought it was too mature for her. What was he supposed to say to that? "Yes, it is, Kagome, you're a little girl, so go put on something less exciting"? No way! He'd told it was beautiful and perfect, and so was she. That had earned him a very enthusiastic kiss, so he'd made a mental note to periodically come up with similar compliments as the evening wore on.

He got a tingle all the way from scalp to heels when she touched his hair and said with a worried little frown: "It's starting to turn dark already."

Inu Yasha looked over her shoulder at his reflection in the mirror over the dresser to find several black streaks in his white hair. His ears hadn't started their downward migration yet but soon would, then his claws would become harmless human fingernails, and his fangs would shorten. He could handle all of that if only his strength wouldn't go with them, leaving him feeling like a helpless infant. He knew he was strong for a human during this time, but compared to his usual demon strength… He was glad to have some back up with him tonight if Hisui and/or Mikoto should try anything. If? Who was he kidding. More like, when.

He shrugged and gave Kagome his most confident smirk. "Don't worry, Kagome. I'm still pretty good in a fight when I'm human."

"I know," she smiled, not as confidently as he did. "I'm glad you came back. I didn't want to go to this dance without you." She blushed and leaned against his chest, eyes closed contentedly. "If you hadn't come here this week, I wouldn't have gone to the dance, or if I did, I would've just been a wall flower. There's really nobody else I'd want to dance with."

Inu Yasha put his arms around her and squeezed. No other response was needed. He only wished Hisui and Mikoto had never showed up, nor even Tachimora, so he and Kagome could just have a nice, peaceful, fun night with their friends. No danger, no adventure, no worries. He could've proven to Kagome that she really could take him places and not worry that he'd cause trouble or embarrass her. Oh well, he supposed it was just his destiny to find trouble no matter where he went, whether he wanted it or not. He wondered what the bad guys were planning for a few minutes, then drove all such thoughts out of his mind and let himself experience Kagome with the last of his acute demon senses before they were gone for the night.


	32. Chapter 32

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE:  
Chapter Thirty-Two

Inu Yasha sat on his bed and watched the girls fix their hair through the open bathroom door. Specifically, he watched Kagome, though there was something fascinating and exotic about the entire ritual. Though his own hair was longer than any of theirs, all his involved was washing, drying, brushing and tying back with a cord. For women, however, preparing one's hair for a special occasion involved an arsenal of dangerous-looking appliances, brushes, combs and sparkly doo-dads. It was also a bonding experience: The women chatted, giggled, gave each other advice and admired one another's clothes, hair and skin. Choosing hair fobs generated the kind of excitement Inu Yasha or Shunusuke might have devoted to choosing a new sword. One girl would pick a pretty comb but instead of sticking it in her own hair, she'd hold it out to one of the other girls and tell her how good it would look in _her_ hair. The other girl would insist the comb would look better in the first girl's hair, then help her put it in place. This went on for more than an hour while the fascinated demon turned into a fascinated human without noting the change as he usually did. Also before the hour was out, Inu Yasha was joined by the other guys, though only Miroku seemed quite as interested in the ritual as Inu Yasha was.

"Hey, Inu Yasha," Shippo teased as he bounced on the bed behind his friends, "maybe you should ask them if they'll put some of those sparkly things in your hair!" The little kitsune had disdained a tuxedo in favor of an upgraded version of his kimono, which Yuki had found for him in a doll shop of all places (no where else had things his size that didn't look like a toddler should be wearing them).

Inu Yasha spared him an unamused growl and continued watching Kagome's back get more and more bared as more of her hair got piled onto her head. She was even pretty from behind, he thought, and her skin was so smooth. He was snapped out of his reverie when Shippo thumped him on the head to get his attention.

"Inu Yasha, are you listening to me?" He pouted. "I asked what you were going to tell Kagome's human friends about your new look."

Inu Yasha rubbed his skull and shrugged. "I don't know. If it was just my hair I could say I dyed it, but it's everything." He sighed. "Maybe I should go to Sesshomaru's hiding place…"

Kagome hesitated, then pushed the comb the rest of the way into Yuki's hair. "If you think that's best, Inu Yasha…"

The guys were startled to discover the girls weren't too distracted to know they had an audience. Even Myouga blushed with embarrassment. Inu Yasha cleared his throat and replied: "I don't want to. Anyway, Hisui and Mikoto probably know already, thanks to that spy that smelled me at the shrine. I just don't know how to answer the questions from other people about the way I look."

"You could tell them the truth," Kagome suggested as she resumed fixing Yuki's hair. Meanwhile, Sango was playing with Rei Rei's hair, trying out different barrettes and combs, while Yuki did her hair. "It's not like any of the ones not working for demons could really do anything about it. And like you said: Hisui and Mikoto probably know already, so the secret's out, anyway. Just tell anybody who asks that you're a half-demon, and this happens to you sometimes," she had a sudden thought and her painted lips twisted into a smug smirk," then tell them Mikoto Asano gets that way, too."

Inu Yasha shook his head. "But he looks more human than I do when it's not his time. I mean, he doesn't have ears like mine to give him away, just the eyes, claws and white hair."

Kagome frowned. "Oh yeah. I wonder when his time is, anyway. Yuki?"

Yuki looked over her shoulder at her brother, who shook his head. She replied: "I'm sorry. We can't tell you that. It's not the new moon, though."

Re Rei glared at her in the mirror. Just when she was ready to accept that Yuki and Shunusuke weren't their father's allies, one of them would say something like that. Oh well, she guessed Mikoto's time of the month wasn't important unless it was tonight, after all. Anyway, what if Shunusuke's claim that his father hadn't killed the Great Demon of the East was true, and the real enemy was Hisui? Was Mikoto an accomplice, or just as much a victim as she was? If he was, why did he take her wand and banish her to China? Were those Hisui's orders? And why hadn't he denied his involvement in Shiori's murder when she'd accused him of it during their battle? All things considered, it seemed to Rei Rei that Mikoto Asano was guilty, either because he'd struck the death blow or because he'd helped or covered for the real murderer: His mother Hisui Oukami, the Great Demon of the North. Either way, Mikoto was going down.

"I guess you're right, Kagome," Inu Yasha was saying resignedly, "I'll just tell the truth if I'm asked. I have Sesshomaru's people to back me up now if anybody wants to make something of it."

Miroku chuckled. "I never thought I'd see the day when you depended upon Sesshomaru."

Inu Yasha bristled at that. "I don't depend on him for anything! I'm just saying I can count on more back-up than just you guys now that I'm working for my brother, that's all!"

"You'd be dead if it wasn't for Sesshomaru," Shunusuke reminded him.

Sigh. "That doesn't mean I depend on him! I'm his brother, so he sent his guys to cure me of that poison."

"I don't think being his brother was the reason—"

Inu Yasha turned around and smacked Shunuske with more speed than he was usually able to muster in his mostly-human condition and snarled: "Whatever! He helped me out, but that doesn't mean I'll go whining to him for help every time I get in trouble!"

He would've said more, but Kagome decided she'd had enough of that argument and left the girl-bonding session to give her boyfriend a piece of her mind. She stood before him with her hands on her hips and bent over to put her face in his. "Now you listen to me, Inu Yasha," she began, then realized his eyes were fixated on something a bit south of her face and chucked him on the chin to make him look at her. "My eyes are up here. Thank you. As I was saying… Sesshomaru in this time is a lot different from Sesshomaru in your time. For one thing, he's more mature, but most importantly, he doesn't want you dead. I think that's a really big improvement over your usual relationship, don't you? Also," she ticked off more reasons on her fingers, "he doesn't want Tetsusaiga, the Jewel, or to kill any of your friends, and he doesn't take orders from Hisui. He didn't have to hire you, either, you know. I think that's going to work out really great, especially after this whole thing with the Jewel is over and…and…" she blushed, "you know. Whatever you decide to do afterwards." She straightened up and looked away. "I mean, if you want to stay with me and…you know…you'll need a good job, right?"

He reached up and took her hand, forcing her to look at him, and smiled. "That's one of the reasons I'm working for him," he explained haltingly, "I wanted to be able to provide for us…someday, you know, when the Jewel is whole and Naraku is destroyed and all that." He brightened: "And Sesshomaru can teach me to use weapons from this time and all that weird shit he's always using. Spy stuff. It'll be cool!"

Kagome had to smile at that. Inu Yasha as a James Bond-esque secret agent wasn't such a stretch as she looked at him in a tuxedo with his long, dark hair pulled back. He really did look sexy like that. Especially with big, brown eyes and more color to his face. She liked how small her hand felt in his, too, now that she took the moment to notice. Too bad they weren't alone just then…

"AHEM!" Myouga loudly cleared his throat and hopped onto their joined hands with an important scowl on his face. "That will be quite enough of that! You two will behave yourselves tonight, or I will simply have to go to Kagome's mother about it! Do you understand me, you—urk!"

Inu Yasha squooshed the little flea between finger and thumb and tossed him over his shoulder to be caught by Shippo. "Save that lecture for Miroku and Yuki, Flea. Kagome's not that kind of a girl."

Kagome blushed. Miroku grabbed Myouga from Shippo and shook him in front of his face. "Now see here, Flea! What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their business, not yours!"

"I'm—only—concerned—about—Inu Yasha—and—Kagome!" Myouga stammered between shakes. He wriggled out of Miroku's fist with a glare for those who dared laugh at him (everybody) and added: "But if I was concerned about you and Miss Asano, I would tell you that girl is much too young to be doing those sorts of things! From what I understand about the customs of this time, a woman of Yuki's age is too young to marry, much less being doing married things. And as for you, Priest, if you think you can make love to a woman without any kind of consequences—"

Miroku tapped him on the head and snapped: "I have every intention of marrying her if she'll have me, but as you've so depressingly pointed out, she's a bit young for that!" Suddenly he realized he'd declared his intentions to the group before he'd brought them up with Yuki and wanted to hide under the bed. "Er, I mean…um…that would seem to be the, uh, I mean…that's what I'd like to…"

Yuki stared blankly at her own reflection in the mirror while Miroku tried in vain to explain himself. Finally, she asked quietly: "So that's the only reason you'd want to marry me? Because we had sex?"

"NO!" Miroku hurried to assure her. "That's not a good reason to marry anybody! Just because the sex is incredible—"

"That's more than we needed to know…" Shunusuke muttered.

"—doesn't mean the marriage will work. There has to be love and friendship and trust. Things you can't get from just sleeping together!"

Yuki left the bathroom to stand in the bedroom doorway so she could look him in the eyes. He gulped and forced himself to return her steady gaze. "So what you're telling me is," she said carefully and tried really hard not to grin like an idiot, "you're in love with me already?"

"'Already'?" Miroku blinked. "Uh, did I move too quickly?"

Everybody's jaw dropped at that.

"You jumped into bed with her just hours after you met her, and you want to know if you moved to quickly?!" Inu Yasha gasped.

Yuki gave him a severe look. "Leave him alone!" Then she smiled at Miroku. "It was love at first site, right Miroku?"

The priest almost fainted with relief. He nodded vigorously and gloated at the others. "That's exactly right! Sometimes, you just know—"

"Oh stop it!" Shippo snorted. "You run after ev—mrf!"

Shunusuke slapped his hand over Shippo's mouth, then tucked the struggling kitsune against his side. "Love at first sight is a beautiful thing. Let's hope it lasts. So…marriage, you think?"

Yuki glowered at her brother. "Laugh it up, Jerk Boy…"

"I'm serious!" Shunusuke turned a deadpan look on Miroku, who looked even less happy with him than Yuki. "I'm sure my father will be delighted to know your intentions with my sister are perfectly honorable, Sir."

"Shunuske…"

"In light of that, I think you should do what Inu Yasha did and line up a job in this time," Shunusuke went blithely on, still hanging onto Shippo, who'd given up on escape. "My father pays very well, if you're interested in that kind of work. Otherwise, there are many very fine shrines and temples in this time."  
He at last released Shippo, who nipped Shunusuke's hand for his trouble, then went to sit on the other side of Inu Yasha.

Shunusuke rubbed his finger and gave Shippo a hurt look. "I don't think Yuki wants to live in the Feudal era, though, I really can't speak for her, of course."  
Miroku and Yuki exchanged meaningful glances, then Yuki said: "You're closest. You pound him."

* * *

Later…

"So, are you gonna marry Yuki, or what?" Shippo whispered in Miroku's ear to keep Yuki from hearing the question. He sat on the back of the couch where Miroku was sitting with Inu Yasha and Kagome. Yuki was in one of the chairs with Sango in the other. Rei Rei was having a serious talk with Shunusuke out on the porch in an attempt to ascertain once and for all what side he'd take if she had to fight his father.

Miroku slouched a little lower in his seat and flipped to another channel on TV and had to laugh when he realized the show was full of magical girls in silly costumes doing battle with evil. "I haven't officially asked her," he growled at Shippo. "Quit asking me about it!"

"By the power of the Moon, I punish you!" Cried the girl with the funny yellow buns in her hair. Sparks flew and a bolt of light smote the girl's enemy, an evil-looking woman with dark hair and a sexy dress.

Inu Yasha snatched the remote out of Miroku's hand and changed the channel. "At least she didn't make Pretty Space," he muttered. First channel: Cooking show. Second channel: Bonsai gardening. Third channel: Talking head. Fourth channel: Fat guys in loincloths, wrestling.

"Sumo!" Kagome exclaimed. "Don't change the channel, Inu Yasha!"

Sango squinted at the TV, then turned a sour look on her friend. "That's disgusting, Kagome. How can you watch that? I've never liked Sumo."

"No?" Kagome asked innocently. "I think it's cool! But if you don't like it…" She took the remote from Inu Yasha and surfed. Cooking, cooking, anime, anime, anime, anime, anime, cooking, sappy romantic movie, anime, anime.

"What's with all the—whatever that is?" Inu Yasha asked, waving his hand at the TV when Kagome found another channel with anime on it.

"Anime," Kagome and Yuki replied in unison. "It's really popular," Kagome added.

"No shit," Inu Yasha growled. "Why do people want to see that instead of real people—Wait! What was that one?"

Kagome backed up a channel to an anime featuring a bunch of guys doing battle with demons on the streets of Japan. "Oh! Yu Yu Hakusho! I love this one!"  
"Leave it there!" Yuki agreed excitedly.

They watched the show for a few minutes, then Inu Yasha complained: "Too much like work."

"Yeah," Miroku and Shippo agreed. "We do this kind of thing all the time," Miroku boasted.

"No big deal," Shippo added smugly. One of the characters turned from a red-haired human to a tall, white-haired kitsune, and Shippo's eyes lit up. "See? They even had the brains to get a kitsune on their side!"

Miroku chuckled. "So did they also have the brains to get a priest?" He raised an eyebrow at Yuki, who made a so-so motion with her hand.

"A sort of a priestess, actually. She's a great martial arts master, who also has a temple. Genkai's her name. She's not in this scene, though. Just the guys."

Inu Yasha noticed that the bad guys all appeared to be demons of some kind. That wasn't really fair, he thought. After all, he was half-demon and he was one of the good guys. "How come their only demon is a kitsune?"

Kagome pointed at the screen. "See the guy with the spiky black hair with white in it? The one with the katana? That's Hiei. He's a demon and he's one of the good guys."

That made Inu Yasha feel a bit better. Not only was Hiei a demon, his weapon of choice was a sword. Good lad. Inu Yasha could relate to this guy, especially since he didn't smile a lot, indicating to him that this Hiei took fighting seriously. Also, he was very good with that katana of his. Hmmm…

* * *

Out on the porch, constructive things were being accomplished, though Rei Rei was no closer to trusting Mikoto Asano's children than she was after the battle in Pretty Space. Though they were willing to defy Mikoto, it looked like Shunusuke and Yuki would be neutral, rather than fight their own father. However, Shunusuke seemed convinced that Mikoto had been framed by Hisui just as completely as Rei Rei had been.

"So she blamed you to get Dad to take your wand and banish you," Shunusuke explained to his less-than-agreeable audience, "and blamed Mikoto to make you fight him. She probably wanted him to kill you, but I know my Dad, and he wouldn't kill a girl who's even younger than Yuki. Anyway, he probably figured out that you couldn't have killed Shiori."

Rei Rei huffed and looked away. "So if he didn't kill Shiori, why didn't he tell me that when we fought? I asked him directly!"

"I don't know," Shunusuke sighed. "He might've been afraid of what Hisui would do to Shiori's son if he told anybody the truth, or maybe Hisui outright threatened to kill Kouri, too, if Dad didn't play along." He shrugged. "I really don't think Dad killed Shiori! Their friendship wasn't faked, it's just not like my father to do that to a person. He's honorable, no matter what you think. I don't think his mother is, though. You know she's killed all of her other children, don't you?"

No, Rei Rei didn't know that and it turned her stomach to think about it. "Nice family."

"I don't acknowledge her as part of my family," Shunusuke retorted tightly. He clenched and unclenched his fists in silence for a while, then sighed. He started to run his fingers through his hair, then remembered it was tied back and let the hand drop back onto the railing. "In a way, I think it's good that she's involved with Sesshomaru. I don't think she can manipulate him like she can my father." He looked into the magical girl's eyes and smiled a little. "If you want a good ally, one who could really stand up against Hisui Oukami and have a prayer of beating her, I'd talk to Sesshomaru."

Rei Rei considered his words for a while as she gazed into the darkness between the trees. The sea was beyond them, but she couldn't see it with just the stars to light the night sky. "Sesshomaru," she thought ominously, "the Great Demon of the Western Lands. Can he really help me fight Mikoto and Hisui?" She wondered what he was like. If he was anything like his brother, he was a royal pain in the ass, but from Shunusuke's tone, Rei Rei guessed Sesshomaru wasn't like Inu Yasha.

"He said he wanted to talk to me," she told Shunusuke after a while. "I wonder what he'll say." She took a step back so she could bend over and put her chin on her arms on the railing. "Probably take my wand away and send me back to China. Gods, have you any idea how long it's going to take me to make up all the homework I've already missed?!"

Shunusuke forced himself not to laugh, though it was pretty funny that after all she'd been through she was most worried about making up her homework. "I don't think he'll send you back to China."

She sighed. "Oh well, at least I get to go to a Ball. Too bad I'll probably have to fight instead."

"Yeah," Shunusuke agreed, "pity, that. And Just when I was starting to make some headway with Sango, too."

Rei Rei rolled her eyes. "Poor baby." She had to admit Shunusuke was pretty good looking, for the son of her most hated enemy, but she'd never liked him, even when he was still in high school. It was just because all the girls were madly in love him, and it was like the guy could do anything perfectly: Sports, music, academics, Kendo. And he was rich on top of it all. Something had to be wrong, she'd always thought, then when Mikoto killed Shiori, she'd figured it out: He was part demon. Being related to Mikoto and Hisui didn't help his image any, either, she thought smugly. Sango could have him.

* * *

Sesshomaru tucked a cell phone into his breast pocket and hooked his beeper onto his belt under his jacket. Then he buttoned up the jacket and turned in front of the mirror to make sure everything was in order. Hisui was still in the bathroom putting on her face. This was the part of going out that he never understood: A woman had a limited amount of face, so why did it take her so long to paint it? He'd even watched the process once or twice in his lifetime and still didn't understand. As far as he could see, it involved colored cream, a few different colors of powder, a colored pencil and some sticky black goo that was brushed onto her eyelashes to make them look longer and thicker. Ah, and he couldn't forget that awful stuff that she smeared onto her lips and which got onto his when he kissed her, no matter how much sealer she put on top of it. Lipstick. Dreadful stuff. Though he did find flavored lip gloss entertaining. Anyway, near as he could tell, the goal was to apply as much make up as possible with the end result being that the woman looked like she was wearing no makeup, except for the lip and eye goo. That being the goal, Sesshomaru didn't understand why the girl didn't just apply lipstick and mascara and be done with it! And powder, oh how could he forget powder, since a woman much surely spend half of her adult life in the ladies' room powdering her nose with other women. He suspected women went to the bathroom in packs in order to discuss their dates' various merits or lack thereof. The nose powdering was just a flimsy excuse to put their heads together and tear apart their men, then they would return to the table with benign smiles and lay on the charm.

He adjusted his cufflinks, paced about the room, sat down by the table and drummed his claws on its surface. He checked his watch. "Hisui! What are you doing in there?"

"I'm almost finished, Darling!" She called back sweetly.

"You've been 'almost finished' for forty-five minutes," Sesshomaru muttered under his breath. She had a tiny face and short hair, so what in the hell always took so long?!

"I heard that!"

Sesshomaru sighed, got up and went out onto the balcony for some air that didn't smell like their respective colognes and her cigarette smoke and to think about the problems of a human Inu Yasha and a magical girl. No, he decided, the problems tonight would be Hisui and Mikoto—more the former than the latter, from the information he'd been able to gather. Disgruntled minions were great sources of dirt. Disgruntled kitsune minions even better. Now, it was highly probable that Shinnai was lying, since Sesshomaru could really think of few other reasons why the man would talk to his greatest romantic rival. Therefore, Sesshomaru had gone to other sources to check out the kitsune's claim that Hisui had killed the Great Demon of the East, then blamed Rei Rei for the fun of humiliating her fallen foe by making other demons believed he'd been felled by a magical girl. Hisui hadn't planned on Mikoto keeping the girl's magic wand, however, and had wanted the powerful artifact for herself. Unlike Hisui, Sesshomaru wasn't inclined to underestimate Mikoto, but the fact that Hisui had apparently just let Mikoto keep the thing told Sesshomaru that part of Shinnai's story at least wasn't true. Furthermore, if Mikoto and Shiori had been so close, why would Mikoto let his friend's killer live? True, she was a teenage girl, but once transformed, she was a super hero…of sorts. Then it hit him: Mikoto had seen his own daughter in Rei Rei, so he merely disarmed and banished her. After all, without her wand, she was just another schoolgirl. Too bad Yuki couldn't be so easily disarmed. Sesshomaru remembered the swath of destruction Yuki's power had left behind when she'd saved Kagome from Mikoto's operatives.

There was another interesting point: Yuki and Shunusuke had defied their father more than once that week. Why? Especially Shunusuke, who was the official heir? According to the boy, he disapproved of his father's plan to take the Jewel of Four Souls from Inu Yasha, but why continue to defy him after he renounced those plans?

And why did Rei Rei believe Mikoto had killed the Great Demon of the East? All of Sesshomaru's information, from Shinnai and others, pointed to Hisui as the slayer. Had she done it, then framed Mikoto for the murder? Frankly, he wouldn't put it past her.

Sesshomaru sighed heavily and wondered anew what he saw in that woman, then the patio door slid open to reveal his reason: "Gods, you're beautiful!"

Hisui slunk into his arms for a kiss, then pulled away to put on her lipstick.

"Beautiful and deadly," Sesshomaru thought. His kind of woman. Too bad she was so childish sometimes.

She gave him a smile that set his heart aflutter and held out her hand. "Shall we go, Darling? I'm simply dying to see your annoying little brother as a human!"

Sesshomaru took her hand and let her lead him back into their room, then out of it. "I'm sure he can't wait to see you, either, my dear."

Giggle.


	33. Chapter 33

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Thirty Three

"An undersea theme for a Mermaid Ball," Shunusuke observed in a voice laden with sarcasm. "They must've sat up all night thinking of that one."

Yuki thumped him on the head. "I think it looks beautiful this year, don't you, Kagome?"

Kagome hooked her arm in Inu Yasha's and nodded, even though she hadn't attended last year's Ball. It really was lovely, like an undersea paradise. The Ball was both indoors and out, so one could see the decorations before even entering the hotel. Colored lights in the shape of frosted seashells were strung between palm trees that sparkled with tiny white lights. An ice statue of a mermaid playing with a dolphin in the surf dominated a long table on the outside deck. The table was strewn with exotic flowers, finger foods and punch. There was a variety of sushi and other decorative foods, including a tree made from chocolate and wrapped in gossamer strands of caramel. Tropical flowers and plants were everywhere, filling the air with a delicate fragrance. There were tables scattered about the deck, each one with a pristine white table cloth and a flower arrangement with a shell-shaped candle in the middle of it. Most of the tables were filled, but there appeared to be places left at the much smaller tables on the boardwalk below. Everywhere were people in tuxedos and fabulous gowns—and not just teenagers. Many of the guests were much older.

"Hey, what are all these old people doing here?" Shippo wanted to know and got Miroku's hand over his mouth for saying it so loudly. Since he was riding on the priest's shoulders, Shippo's foot was conveniently located near enough to Miroku's jaw to kick it until the priest let him talk again. "I thought this was just for people staying here. You know, people like Kagome."

"It's open to everyone," Shunusuke explained patiently, "but if you're not a guest of the hotel, you have to pay for a ticket. It's one of the season's most fashionable events, so it attracts a lot of people who want other people to think they're somebody important."

"So you want people to think you're important, eh?" Sango teased.

Shunusuke smirked. "I am important, but I don't care who else thinks so."

"Do you think you can get any more conceited?" Rei Rei sneered as she pushed past the rest of the group and headed for the buffet. Her gossamer pink dress floated around her legs, hiding her magic wand, which was strapped to one of her thighs.

Inu Yasha elbowed Shunusuke and teased: "I think she likes you," then he followed the magical girl into the mass of prettied up humanity, feeling like a god with Kagome on his arm. Nobody seemed to recognize him so far, but he knew it was just a matter of time before they bumped into one of their enemies, or some of the other people who had seen them throughout the week. He still wasn't sure how he'd explain the fact that he no longer had ears on top of his head. The idea of spreading the truth around wasn't very appealing, but he figured Kagome was right: The truth was the best explanation. And anyway, she'd added, he was still good in a fight without his demon powers. In fact, she felt just as safe with him as a human as she did when he was a half-demon. It had made him feel all warm inside when she'd told him that, particularly while she was wearing such a tantalizing, form-caressing outfit and that incredible perfume. It was sort of musky with a hint of jasmine and some kind of spice…and absolutely drove him out of his mind. Why didn't she wear that stuff all the time? Inu Yasha could only imagine what it would do to his superior demon senses if it made him this crazy as a human.

She let go of his arm with a bright smile and headed for the end of the table where the plates were stacked. Inu Yasha watched her hips swing for a few steps before catching up to make sure they didn't get separated in the buffet line. Miroku and Yuki came up behind them, chatting excitedly about the decorations and the food. Miroku grabbed two plates: One for himself and one for Shippo. The kitsune pointed at what he wanted, and the priest obliging put it on his plate. Shunusuke and Sango fell in behind Miroku and Yuki. Shunusuke whispered something in Sango's ear, which she passed along to Miroku, who whispered it to Inu Yasha: "Hisui and Sesshomaru have arrived."

Inu Yasha looked over his shoulder in the direction of the hotel, then turned around to see the entrance through which he'd arrived. Nothing. "Where?"

"Uh…" Miroku looked around but didn't see them either. "Shunusuke said they were here…"

"Then he just feels them," Inu Yasha told him and went back to loading up his plate. "They'll be here soon. Relax. There are too many people around for them to try anything now."

Miroku nodded, then leaned back a little to catch Shunusuke's eye and nod to him that Inu Yasha got the message. Inu Yasha was right: There was too big a crowd for the demons to pick a fight. Back in his day, he'd say the demons wouldn't care about incidental humans, but these future demons seemed concerned with keeping a low profile. Maybe they'd be able to have a good time and no trouble tonight after all. As long as they made sure there were lots of innocent bystanders, Miroku figured the demons wouldn't attack. Of course, there were more annoying things they could do than physically attack, like follow them around all evening and hassle them. Hisui seemed particularly good at sounding polite while throwing threats around. He wondered if Inu Yasha's new employer Sesshomaru would make her behave, then wondered if it was possible for anyone to make Hisui Oukami do anything she didn't want to do. Probably not.

The couple in question arrived via the hotel and turned every head on their way to the buffet. Even Inu Yasha's jaw dropped a little at the sight of his brother escorting the sparkling, graceful dog-demoness. Hisui was mind boggling in a leaf green dress that shimmered and sparkled with tiny crystal beads and hugged her lithe body like a glove. Her hair was piled on her head in tiny ringlets that sparkled with colorful crystals. She favored her admirers with a condescending smile and hung on Sesshomaru's arm like a pretty jewel. Looking into his brother's face, Inu Yasha saw to his amazement that Sesshomaru seemed to feel exactly the same about having Hisui on his arm as Kagome made him feel. It was a most unexpected revelation, and it took Inu Yasha's mind a few moments to get around it. Sesshomaru was really in love with Hisui. Sesshomaru in love…what a concept. It was actually rather unsettling. The first thing Inu Yasha wondered was if Hisui could wrap Sesshomaru around her finger as deftly as Kagome could wrap her half-demon around hers. At least Kagome wasn't manipulative like Hisui, so she didn't abuse her power to turn him to goo with little more than misty eyes and a quivering lip. If Sesshomaru could easily be put under Hisui's spell… Oh, this didn't look good. Inu Yasha turned a worried look on Kagome, then passed it to the rest of his friends. They were too busy being hypnotized by Hisui to notice him.

Yuki sighed: "They're fabulous!"

"It's Hisui and Sesshomaru!" Inu Yasha shot back with a snarl. "Snap out of it!"

"Dazzling," sighed Miroku.

"Hello…" Inu Yasha waved his hand in front of the priest's face. "She's the enemy, remember?"

Kagome snapped out of it first. "What a show off! I'll bet she's using telepathy to make everybody admire her!"

As the implication of Kagome's words sunk in, her friend's faces fell one by one. If Hisui could make people admire her as she passed, what else could she make them do with just a tweak of her mind? Shunusuke's hand paused with a piece of sushi halfway to his plate and commented: "Weak minds are easily manipulated, so are those who don't believe there are those who have powers like Hisui's. We're in the know, so we should be ok if she tries anything."

"Thank you, Obi Wan," Yuki joked humorlessly. Maybe she was overreacting to think her relatives were going to attack Inu Yasha and his friends tonight. Who was she kidding? The whole reason they'd attacked Inu Yasha at the shrine was to keep him from going back in time. Why else would they do that unless they planned on doing something to him in this time? Once Kagome's vacation was over, Inu Yasha would go back through the well, and so would she. Of course, there was nothing to keep Hisui and/or Mikoto from trying to stop them from leaving this time. She hoped they'd wait till tomorrow to attack and just let them have a good time tonight. She, for one, was utterly happy, and her brother seemed to be, too (even if he wasn't making as much headway as he would've liked with Sango). Inu Yasha and Kagome were positively glowing. It'd be a shame to ruin the mood, it really would. Maybe if she talked to her father about it…

The group pulled two tables together on the boardwalk and settled in to enjoy their food and do a little people watching. Ok, a lot of people watching, and not just of their enemies, more and more of whom appeared every minute (some of them literally appeared). Gin had somehow convinced Shinnai to be her date, though Tsurai came stag. He arrived with Mikoto, who had his American wife with him and was all smiles. After even Tachimora showed up, Inu Yasha wondered aloud why his Chinese "friends" weren't there, too. Kagome explained that Jackie Chan and Chow Yun-Fat were very famous movie stars, who would cause a bit of a stir if they showed up at the Mermaid Ball.

"And demons showing up doesn't?" Inu Yasha growled back, getting a giggle out of everybody at the table. "Hisui and Sesshomaru aren't even trying to look human! I mean, how many humans do you know with stripes on their faces, pointy ears and yellow eyes?"

"Don't forget the white hair and claws," Shippo interjected over a mouthful of sushi. "So, what's a movie star?"

"I want to know where Myouga is," Yuki said. "I thought he was coming to this thing."

Kagome and her feudal friends almost choked on their food. No Myouga meant something really dangerous was going to happen very soon. The flea could smell danger coming and always managed to disappear before it actually arrived.

Yuki blinked at them. "What? What's wrong? Should we go look for him?"

Kagome bit her knuckles. "Myouga disappears whenever there's danger nearby…"

"So if he's not here…" Miroku added.

"Something very bad is about to happen." Sango finished and put her face in her hands. "I knew it. Even in the future we can't relax!" She looked up and gave Inu Yasha a stern glare. "This is your fault, isn't it? Danger just follows you around like a hungry puppy."

Inu Yasha growled at her and returned his attention to the sushi on his plate. At least it didn't smart off to him. "It's not my fault," he grumbled. It was a fact of his life but it wasn't his fault.

Sango continued to complain, as if she didn't hear him. "And I was really looking forward to this, too! I never get to go to things like this. Only rich people who live in castles have fancy dinners…*sigh*…and wear fine silk and perfume." She closed her eyes and imagined herself as court Lady in layers of bright silk, with pearls in her ears and jade about her neck. It would never happen, she knew, unless a great Lord hired her to exterminate demons for him. The only Lords she knew anymore were demons, themselves, who were more than capable of exterminating their fellow demons without help from a human girl. "The only castle I've ever been in was Naraku's and I hope I never have to go back."

Shunusuke saw an opportunity and jumped on it before Inu Yasha could open his mouth and ruin it. "My family has a castle near Osaka," he told Sango casually. "It's not a very big one and it's open to the public for tours on certain days, but it's ours."

Just as he'd hoped, her eyes lit up and she directed all of her attention on him. "A real castle? I didn't realize your family was…" she blushed, "I mean, I knew you had money but I didn't realize you were nobility. I guess I should have, since your grandmother is the Great Demon of the Northern Lands."

Shunusuke's belly flip-flopped. He actually impressed her. "Actually, the castle came to us through our human ancestors. Asano is a noble family on both sides."

Yuki hid her smile in her punch and decided she must definitely talk to her father about keeping the peace tonight so she and her friends could have a nice time. Every girl should have at least one night in her life when she can feel like a princess or at least a Lady, even if she's a demon hunter from another time. And Inu Yasha should get to dance with Kagome at an expensive affair without having to worry that his presence would draw danger to her. As for herself, she figured she deserved tonight, too. Though Miroku claimed he wanted to marry her, Yuki was too realistic to hold her breath. He'd be back in past before the next day was out, and she'd still be here in the present. She'd probably never see him again. Yuki sighed as she realized she really didn't want him to go. Aside from spending practically every waking moment in his arms, she hardly knew him and was, for the first time in her life, really unhappy about that. She wanted him to stay a few more days…no weeks…no, she just didn't want him to leave. Ever.

His hand on hers snapped her out of her reverie, and she turned to smile at him. "I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow," she sighed.

"I wish I didn't have to leave, either," he told her softly, "but we have battles to fight at home, too. When that's over…"

They leaned closer, their eyes dewy, lips parting—

Then Inu Yasha flung a piece of seaweed at Miroku's cheek and shattered the mood. "Not at the dinner table, you cretins!" He growled.

* * *

After eating and enjoying a little conversation over punch (and marveling that the bad guys were actually leaving them alone), the gang adjourned to the ballroom inside the hotel to dance. The music was much different than what Shunusuke's band had played at the shindig the other night—chiefly, it was performed at a much lower volume. An orchestra played in a balcony overlooking the dance floor. The hall was enormous and had a vaulted ceiling with three frosted glass domes ringed with white lights. Soft light was provided by a half dozen enormous crystal chandeliers and a collection of smaller lamps set into the walls and columns. Couples waltzed across a floor of black and white marble, their feet not really seeming to touch the ground.

Kagome took Inu Yasha's hand and led him onto the dance floor. She put his hands in the proper places, startling him a little when she put his left hand on her hip. "I guess you've never waltzed?"

He shook his head and looked around him at the other couples to try and get an idea of what was involved.

"Don't worry," Kagome assured him, "it's not as hard as it looks." She showed him how to move his feet to the three-three time and once he got the hang of that, showed him how to do it and turn about the dance floor at the same time. "You're a quick learner!"

Inu Yasha blushed. "Yeah, well…you're a good teacher."

This was absolutely the best week of his entire existence. He'd gotten to kiss Kagome (a lot), they'd admitted their feelings for each other, had gone dancing twice now, and made new friends. Also, their future together would be secure, financially, now that he had a job lined up with Sesshomaru. All that was left to do was to wrap up things with the Jewel and Naraku and he could come live with Kagome here in the future for good. When she was older, they could even get married and maybe have kids. Maybe Miroku and Yuki would get married, too. They could live in the same town and have perfectly normal lives, except that he'd be working for a demon lord in an unspecified, very secretive type of job that would probably involve as much danger as was currently a part of his life. Great. At least he'd be with Kagome without doubts about her feelings for him.

He looked away from Kagome's eyes long enough to find his friends and smiled at Sango's attempts to waltz in high heels. She finally got fed up, took them off, then continued dancing much more gracefully. Miroku and Yuki actually looked like they might stick around and dance, rather than nick off to someplace more private. Shippo hung around the perimeter of the dance floor with Rei Rei, then suddenly assumed the form of a tall, human, older version of himself and asked the magical girl if she'd like to dance. After getting over her astonishment at seeing a kitsune do his thing right in front of her, she accepted his invitation. They realized at the same time that neither of them knew how to waltz but decided to just wing it anyway. That made Inu Yasha smile and he started to believe the night would come off without a hitch.

* * *

After an hour of dancing, Sango had to go to the bathroom, so, in true female form, she collected her friends and off they went to the ladies room. When they didn't return after more than twenty minutes, the boys got a little worried. When another fifteen minutes passed, they really got worried and made Shippo turn into a girl and go investigate. He checked out every public ladies' room on the first floor of the hotel but found no sign of the girls, so he put his sniffer to work even though there were so many scents to sift through. After a few minutes of that, he was forced to concede defeat.

Shunusuke ground his teeth and declared he was going to find his father and get to the bottom of this, then stalked back into the ballroom, Inu Yasha, Shippo and Miroku right behind him.

Mikoto was genuinely shocked to hear of the girls' disappearance. His wife was very concerned. "Mikoto, what is this about?"

He looked innocent. "I have no idea but I think I know who might. Let me talk to Mother about it." He took the missus with him on his search for Hisui, leaving the gang behind.

Inu Yasha wasn't willing to trust Mikoto to solve the problem so off he stomped to find Sesshomaru, knowing that Hisui would likely be found in his company. The rest of the guys figured he knew what he was doing and followed him. "So was your Dad lying?"

Shunusuke shrugged. "He's good enough to block me, so I couldn't tell."

Inu Yasha frowned. "Well could you tell if he was trying to hide anything?"

"No."

Inu Yasha cursed. "That doesn't help."

"Sorry," Shunusuke grouched. "It's not my fault he's got more demon in him than I do."

Being the tallest, Shunusuke spotted Sesshomaru before the others did and led his cohorts in that direction, politely excusing himself when he had to push past people. The demon lord looked up from something Hisui was saying to him. He saw Mikoto coming toward him first, then Inu Yasha's group and glared at his date, who just gave him an innocent look and batted her eyelashes. Sesshomaru did not look amused.

"Ok, Hisui, where's Kagome?" Inu Yasha demanded, interrupting Mikoto's sentence and getting glares all around.

"And Yuki," Miroku added.

"And Sango," demanded Shunusuke.

There was a pause, then, since nobody else would speak up for her, Shippo said: "And Rei Rei!"

Hisui fluttered her eyelashes at them. "I have no idea what any of you is talking about. Darling," she drawled to her son, "why don't you tell them what your new little human brat did with their women?"

Mikoto's jaw opened, then snapped shut as his face purpled with rage. "I will not let you make me your scapegoat again, Mother! Furthermore, Tachimora is your 'new little human brat', or are you losing your memory in your old age? I have had quite enough of your childish games! Now where are those girls?"

There was a very long pause while Hisui and Mikoto locked vicious glares and angry minds, and the others held their breath. Then Mikoto turned to Sesshomaru and said in a low, tight voice: "I've had enough of Hisui Oukami. I will challenge her once those girls are found and returned unharmed. I advise you to mind your own business and stay out of the way when my challenge comes. Mother," he pointed his finger in her face, "return the girls safely, now."  
"Or you'll what?" Hisui huffed smugly. "Challenge me here in front of all these innocent humans? I don't think so."

Shunusuke took his mother by the arm and pulled her away from his father. "Stay with Dad," he told her, but she'd already made up her mind to do just that. In fact, she didn't seem to be intimidated by Hisui at all.

She shook off her son's hand to return to her husband's side and fix Hisui with a look of doom. "You took my daughter—your granddaughter. I demand that you return her and the other girls safe and unharmed immediately."

Hisui's eyes went wide. "Are you challenging me, human? Have you any idea who I am?"

"You're Hisui Oukami, Great Demon of the Northern Lands," Mrs. Asano replied coolly. "My husband would make a better one."

"Karen," Mikoto patted her arm to silence her, "don't get involved. She'll kill you without a second thought."

"Hmmm," mused Hisui with an evil gleam in her golden eyes, "maybe I'll do that now."

She raised her hand to strike, but Sesshomaru stopped her. Crushing her hand in his, he snarled: "That will be enough, Hisui! There will be no killing tonight. Return the girls—unharmed—now!"

Hisui grimaced and tried to twist her hand out of his but couldn't. "Darling, you're hurting me!"

"Now, Hisui," Sesshomaru hissed, his icy glare boring into her eyes. He squeezed hard enough to make her cry out before she finally capitulated. Sesshomaru figured he'd probably lost her after having chased after her for most of his adult life but after this week he wasn't so sure he cared. She was a very dangerous, homicidal child. Her beauty enchanted him and most of the time he very much enjoyed her company. This wasn't one of those times.

Tears sprang into Hisui's eyes as she nodded her surrender. "Fine! Shinnai!"

The kitsune appeared in time to see his mistress begin to weep and massage her reddened hand. "Bring the girls back."

He looked puzzled. "Girls? What girls?"

Blink. "The girls I ordered taken to Tachimora and his gang to hold hostage for the Jewel shard. Those girls. Are you daft?!"

Shinnai still looked confused. "My Lady, you gave me no such order."

"DON'T DEFY ME!" Hisui screamed in his face. The room got suddenly quiet. Even the orchestra stopped playing as everyone turned to see what all the commotion was about. "Have even you turned against me, Shinnai? I should have killed you years ago for your insolence!" Before Shinnai realized where that line of talk was going, Hisui's hand was all the way through his chest. She drew it out, dripping blood onto the marble floor and watched with satisfied little smirk as he dropped to the floor in confusion. Two seconds later, the humans figured out what had just happened and several of them screamed, others shouted for someone to call an ambulance and the police.

Tsurai appeared and threw himself over his brother with an agonized howl. "You bitch! If he dies, I'll kill you!" Then he disappeared with Shinnai in his arms.

People continued to scream and move away from the scene of the attack. Someone tried to grab Hisui, but she effortlessly threw them across the room. Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides. She kicked and screamed, but he wouldn't let go. "Hisui," he shouted in her ear, "stop it right now! You're humiliating yourself!"

She quit struggling abruptly and just cried. "You're all against me! My own son wants to challenge me! My servants defy me—"

"You might very well have just killed Shinnai for obeying your orders," Mikoto growled in her face. "Remember, Mother, I have the same talent you have and I'm well aware of your habit of blaming others for your own mistakes. Now, why don't we finish this discussion outside?"

Without getting her agreement, Sesshomaru set Hisui down, took her by the hand that wasn't bloodied and led her out of the ballroom. Inu Yasha and the others followed, carefully skirting the puddle of Shinnai's blood. On the way out, Mikoto flagged down a concierge and gave him a note for the hotel's management, apologizing and saying he'd pay for any damages.

Sesshomaru led Hisui down to the beach, all the way to the surf line and forced her to wash her hand in the waves. "I love you very much, Hisui," he told her as he swished her hand around in the water, "but sometimes you do things that make no sense. In spite of his misplaced ardor for you, Shinnai is a very reliable operative, who would be the last person in the world to betray you. Yet, he's the one on which you pin the blame and now you've tried to murder him in cold blood, in a room full of witnesses. That was extremely bad judgement on your part."

"Who are you to judge me, Sesshomaru?" She spat back.

"I'm the fool who still loves you."

Inu Yasha turned his head so he wouldn't have to see his brother humiliate himself like that. How could he still be in love with such a bitch? Did he have his head up his ass? "That woman has you by the balls, brother," he wanted to say but didn't. Instead, he asked about Kagome and the other girls. "Where are they, Hisui?"

She ignored him and dried her hands on Sesshomaru's kerchief.

"Mother," Mikoto demanded, "where are those girls?"

Hisui paused, then returned Sesshomaru's handkerchief to him. "Tachimora has them, I imagine. Find him and you will find the girls."

Still impossible, Mikoto thought bitterly. "Very well, Mother. Where is Tachimora?"

She shrugged but still wouldn't turn her eyes from the sea to look at them. "I have no idea—and that's the truth."

Mikoto prodded her mind for a little while, then sighed. "So it would seem." He turned to the rest of the group, rubbing his temples in an attempt to beat back the migraine he could feel coming on. "I suppose we'll just have to search for them ourselves. Gin!"

She appeared in front him with tears on her face, then saw Hisui standing behind him and had to be held back by Mikoto, Shunusuke and Sesshomaru to keep from jumping Shinnai's attacker. "You filthy bitch! What did Shinnai do to you?! He's the most loyal—"

"GIN!" Mikoto shouted in her face. "Stop it. I have a job for you."

She sniffled and nodded, making an obvious attempt to pull herself together and take orders from her boss. But her eyes were red and she was trembling with rage and grief. Her kitsune ears and tail appeared as she lost the will to keep up a human disguise. "Yes, Sir."

"My mother had Kagome, Yuki, Sango and Pretty Rei Rei kidnapped and taken to that thug Tachimora. Find them."

Gin nodded, then realized something. "Yuki and the magical girl?"

Mikoto nodded with a resigned sigh. "Yes, I know. Heaven help Tachimora. Just find them and report back to me."

"No!" Inu Yasha stopped Gin from disappearing by grabbing her wrist. "I don't trust you people. Take me with you."

"What about us?" Miroku demanded. "You can't expect us to just sit here and wait while Yuki and Sango are in danger!"

"Sango and Yuki can handle themselves," Inu Yasha growled, "and so can that magical girl. I'm worried about Kagome." Chiefly because she had the Jewel shards, but Inu Yasha didn't say that and tried very hard not to think it. He hoped Yuki and Rei Rei would use their magical powers to help all of them to escape before someone figured out Kagome had the shards.

Shippo jumped onto Inu Yasha's shoulder to put himself eye-to-eye with Gin. "Take me, too."

Mikoto sighed. "You are wasting time. Gin? Go."

She went, much to Inu Yasha's ire. Mikoto held up a hand to calm him down, which of course did him no good at all, so he had to shout over the half-demon's rant. "You'll know where they are when Gin returns, so shut up and wait!"

Sesshomaru wasn't any more pleased with Mikoto's plan than his brother was. For all he knew, Mikoto was part of Hisui's kidnapping plans and his concern was all a clever act to deceive them. With a heavy sigh and a stern look for Hisui, he took out his phone and put his own operatives on the case. That didn't please Hisui or Mikoto, though Mikoto was willing to accept it. Hisui, on the other hand…

"I told you you were against me!" She sobbed.

"Hisui," Sesshomaru sighed, "I'm acting in my brother's interest—"

She jabbed a clawed finger at him and accused: "You want the Jewel for yourself! That's why you're sending your own people to find Inu Yasha's woman! So you can take the Jewel before I can!"

The ensuing silence was broken only by the gentle sounds of waves hitting the shore and somewhat less gentle sound of Inu Yasha's battle cry as he launched himself at Hisui. She jumped out of the way, and he dove face first into the surf and came up sputtering and cursing. "You bitch!" He knew better than to try attacking her again now that he'd lost the element of surprise, so he just stood in the ocean and bared his very human teeth at her. "Tell me where Kagome is now!"

"With Tachimora," Hisui told him innocently.

"Where is Tachimora?!"

Shrug. "I have no idea."

"Bullshit."

Another shrug. "Whatever. You bore me, Inu Yasha. If you want to challenge me, do it now, otherwise go away and leave the Jewel to a real demon, where it rightfully belongs." She smiled a dangerous smile, showing her long, sharp fangs. "If Kagome doesn't put up a fight, I promise not to kill her."

"SO YOU DO KNOW WHERE SHE IS!" Inu Yasha roared and jumped at Hisui again. Once again, he missed, this time winding up in Miroku's arms. He broke free and turned to attack again, only to find his brother standing in his path. "Out of my way, Sesshomaru!"

He shook his head. "If you handle it this way, Kagome will surely die."

It wasn't Sesshomaru's words that stopped Inu Yasha's rage so much as his tone. It was unlike anything he'd ever heard come from his brother's mouth and sent a shiver down Inu Yasha's spine. It was the ring of truth and it chilled him out faster than a cold shower. "I can't just do nothing!"

Sesshomaru nodded. "I understand that, but you must learn to be patient and trust me. I know how hard that is for you, but you must do it."

Trust Sesshomaru? Inu Yasha clenched his fists and wouldn't meet his brother's eyes. Could he really trust Sesshomaru? He heard Kagome's words in his mind once again: "Sesshomaru in this time isn't like the Sesshomaru in your time!" But could he be trusted any more than that younger Sesshomaru? Inu Yasha looked up into the eyes of the man who'd devoted so much time and energy to trying to kill him centuries ago and realized he could trust him. At least, he could trust him not to let Kagome get killed, or Hisui or Mikoto get the Jewel shards. What else he could trust Sesshomaru for remained to be seen.

Inu Yasha sighed and nodded. "Alright, brother. This time I'll trust you."


	34. Chapter 34

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter Thirty Four

Kagome regained consciousness in a dark, cool, damp place, a sickening aftertaste in the back of her throat from the chloroform that had been used to subdue her at the hotel. She was lying on her side, bound hand and foot with slender ropes. She tested the knots and found them to be quite secure. A roaring sound echoed in the little chamber, and at first she thought it was in her ears until it dawned on her that she was hearing waves breaking against the shore. She squinted at the dim light coming from the cave mouth, then tried to see around her. There were several shadows she gradually recognized as belonging to Yuki, Sango and Rei Rei. Of the five other shadows she could make out, four had points on top of their heads, so she guessed they were kitsune. But whose? Mikoto's or Hisui's? The fifth form was likely human, since it had no pointy ears on its head. That one sat a little apart from the others, just outside the cave mouth. When he started talking to someone she couldn't see, Kagome had a terrible, sinking feeling of recognition. It was Tachimora, that bastard! So, these were Mikoto's people, were they? Her estimation of Mikoto Asano's intelligence plummeted when she thought he'd actually given a low-life punk like Tachi command of some of his kitsune. So who was he talking to outside the cave? Some of his old gang? Or more of Mikoto's lackey's?

"Just keep an eye out for Dog Boy," Tachi commanded impatiently, "how tough can that be?"

A male voice replied, but Kagome couldn't hear what he was saying, though she was sure she heard a touch of fear in his tone.

"They're just a bunch of girls, chickenshit!" Tachi shot back, setting Kagome's teeth on edge. The nerve of that guy! "Yeah, I know what Asano did before, that's why we're keeping her unconscious! Relax! She's the only one who can give us any trouble and she's taking a nice, long nap."

The other voice didn't sound convinced, but the conversation ended there. Kagome's eyes had adjusted to the light enough for her to tell which shadow was which of her friends. She made a point of finding Yuki first, since Tachi was so confident he'd immobilized her. Sure enough, she was still unconscious. Unfortunately, she was on the other side of the cave, so Kagome couldn't try to wake her up without drawing attention to herself. She looked to her left to find Sango awake and looking at her. They exchanged nods and scooted closer to one another as quietly as they could, freezing in terror and pretending to sleep whenever a kitsune looked their way. When they were back to back, they worked at each other's knots, but didn't get too far before they were noticed by one of the kitsune.

He looked over his shoulder and snapped: "None of that!"

That got Tachi's attention. He jumped up and ran into the cave to see what was going on, saw what Kagome and Sango were trying and went over to kick each girl in stomach. "Knock it off!" He grabbed Kagome by the arm and dragged her away from Sango, then he threw her down and kicked her in the backside for good measure before going back outside for a smoke. "Bitch."

Tears stung Kagome's eyes but she'd be damned if she'd give that creep the satisfaction of knowing he'd made her cry. Well, he'd be sorry when Inu Yasha figured out where she was! Someone had to have noticed four kitsune appearing in the ladies' room, grabbing them, then disappearing. That wasn't something that happened every day. Of course Inu Yasha and the others would ask after them when they didn't come back in a timely fashion, then whoever saw their kidnapping would tell them what had happened. Even if that wouldn't tell them where the girls had been taken, it would give them some clue as to who was responsible. Then they could force that person, be it Mikoto or Hisui, to reveal their location. She hoped Sesshomaru would support Inu Yasha in this, or the now mostly human half-demon wouldn't have a prayer of standing up to Mikoto or Hisui.

"That was weird," she thought, "I never thought I'd see the day when I actually relied on Sesshomaru for help."

On the other side of the cave, a little bit to Yuki's left, the magical girl was twisting herself up to put her bound hands in a position to touch her wand, which was still strapped to her leg. She thanked the powers that be that her kidnappers hadn't thought to frisk their captives, otherwise, she'd be utterly helpless. A few more twists, and the tips of her fingers touched the head of her wand. She took a deep breath and shouted: "Ancient spirits, grant me your power! Spiritual transformation, powers of light, coalesce!"

In the explosion of pastel light that followed, quite a few people screamed, including the kitsune (who also cussed a blue streak), and Kagome. Then the cave was engulfed in Pretty Space, and Rei Rei stood unbound and proud in the middle of it all, magic wand aloft, sequined sailor fuku flapping in a wind she conjured for that very purpose. "By the ancient spirits, I punish you!" She shouted, pointed her wand at the startled group of kitsune and zapped them before they could bring their own magic to bear. Outside the cave, Tachi beat against the walls of Pretty Space, trying desperately to get in and subdue his captives. Rei Rei quickly released her companions, but it took some heavy duty magical girl mojo to awaken Yuki, who was none to happy about having been kidnapped by a punk like Tachimora and a bunch of kitsune she suspected worked for her own father. But since the kitsune were fried to a crisp at the moment, she elected to turn her attention to clobbering Tachi instead.

"Drop the Pretty Space, Rei Rei!" She growled. "I'm gonna fry his ass!"

"Get the rest of him while you're at it," Rei Rei joked, then struck a pose and pointed her wand at the cave entrance. "Pretty Space dropping in three…two…one! Go!"

Yuki held her hands in front of her, palms outward, focused her chi and as soon as Pretty Space was gone, she let it fly. Tachi had seen this trick before and had the good sense to run like hell when the bolt of light roared out of the cave and exploded in the ocean. The girls cheered and ran after him and the three humans who were with him. "Come back here and die like a man, Tachimora!" Yuki screamed after him. He just kept on running.

* * *

"Tachimora works for my mother," Mikoto insisted to Inu Yasha for the fourth time. He was starting to get a little peeved at the stubborn half-demon, who stood in the sand with his hands on his hips, glaring at him. Hisui stood behind her son, looking smug, while Sesshomaru stood at Inu Yasha's side and heaved a heavy sigh.

Inu Yasha jabbed a finger in Mikoto's face. "Shinai told me he works for you!"

"And you believe him over me?!"

"Yes!" Well, not ordinarily, but at the moment Inu Yasha was feeling a twinge of sympathy for the poor kitsune, who was probably dead by now after taking Hisui's claws though his chest. No, he thought, if Shinai had died, Tsurai and Gin would be there challenging Hisui. "So, since Tachi works for you, and he kidnapped the girls, then you gave him the order to do it—not Hisui!"

Mikoto raised a dubious eyebrow. "You're coming to Hisui's defense? Ah, of course. You work for Sesshomaru, who is sleeping with Hisui. Naturally, you'd take her side."

Inu Yasha's eyes blazed with outrage, but just as he opened his mouth to retort, Sesshomaru's hand clamped down onto his shoulder to silence him.

"He's only trying to bait you, Inu Yasha," Sesshomaru said calmly, but his eyes betrayed his frustration. He was at the end of his rope with this matter and determined to resolve it before the night was out. "Mikoto, my sources tell me Tachimora is under contract to you. Also, you were seen checking him into the Green Mermaid. Why would you get him a hotel room if he works for Hisui? I would think such mundane duties would fall to Shinai if Tachi really is Hisui's employee."

The demoness in question tossed her head with a smug little huff and told her son tartly: "You can't get away with blaming me for this, Darling!"

Mikoto gave his mother an impatient sigh. "Of course I can, because you are to blame. While it's true I initially retained Mr. Tachimora and even procured a hotel room for him, you subsequently hired him away from me. As of yesterday, the boy was working for you." He turned to Sesshomaru and asked: "How old is your information?"

"More than a day," Sesshomaru admitted. "Hisui? Is this true?"

Her smirk remained undimmed as she told him: "I did make Tachimora an offer, but he elected to remain in Mikoto's employ upon receiving a better offer from him. So, he is still working for Mikoto."

Mikoto sputtered with rage: "That is a lie!"

Any retort Hisui might have planned was interrupted by an explosion coming from south. Then they saw a bright flash of pastel light that meant Pretty Space was back in action. Inu Yasha's eyes bugged, and his jaws dropped, then all at once he busted out laughing. Jabbing a triumphant finger at Mikoto and Hisui, he crowed: "Ha! See? That'll teach you assholes to kidnap a magical girl!" With a loud war whoop, he took off in the direction of Pretty Space. Miroku and Shippo hesitated only a second, then followed him. Sesshomaru wasn't far behind.

Shunusuke gave his father a severe look and growled darkly: "If you are responsible for this, father, I won't forgive you!" Then he ran after Inu Yasha, as well.

Mikoto started to say something to his mother, then changed his mind and turned to his wife instead. "Karen, go back the hotel and stay there—no arguments! Just go."

She hesitated for a moment, opened her mouth to argue, then turned and stalked back to the hotel, none to happy at being ordered about. However, she could see in her husband's eyes that this was something a human like her had best stay out of if she wanted to see another day. Whether or not he'd make good on his earlier threat to challenge his mother, she didn't know but sincerely hoped he wouldn't. Hisui Oukami was a full demon who had killed all of Mikoto's siblings. What was to stop her from killing him, as well? And who would protect her children if they got caught in the crossfire? She trusted Yuki's unique power to defend her against any attacker, maybe even Hisui, but Shunusuke had only his martial skills and telepathic ability, no magic. If he chose to defy his father as well as his grandmother… She paused in her tracks to look over her shoulder, but the beach was already empty. Damn!

* * *

"Where'd the Pretty Space—" Inu Yasha started to exclaim, but was cut off by a blast of blue light that exploded into the sea. Then he heard Yuki's voice shouting for Tachi to come back and die like a man, and his heart skipped a beat. "YES!" He poured on speed in the direction of Yuki's voice, his heart pounding at the thought of mixing it up with Tachimora again and making him pay for even looking at Kagome. "Tachimora, you asshole! I'm coming for you!"  
The two groups collided with fists and epithets flying, as well as the occasional explosion of blue or pastel light and at least one calling upon of the "ancient spirits" to punish somebody. In fact, Inu Yasha and his allies would've had things nicely in hand if Mikoto and Hisui hadn't showed up and started throwing their weight around.

"Give me those Jewel shards, girl!" Hisui screamed at Kagome and lobbed a blast of chi at her.

"Don't do it, Higurashi!" Mikoto shouted, then had to jump out of the path of his mother's attack.

Kagome dove out of the way, and the energy exploded a crater in the sand behind her. She rolled into the surf, then had to jump out of the way of another deadly bolt. Then Yuki was between her and Hisui, lining up the shot. Rei Rei struck a pose beside her and did her ancient spirits incantation. Blue and pastel energy blazed forth from the two girls, headed straight for friend and foe alike.

Everybody screamed and dove out of the way, only to be thrown into the air by the force of the explosion. Inu Yasha met Tachi in mid air and planted his fist in the boy's face before they both crashed back down to earth, and Inu Yasha discovered his human body really couldn't take those kinds of landings quite as well as his demon body could.

Shunusuke managed to land on his feet but wasn't able to remain upright and fell on his butt. Then he saw Sango flailing and cursing her way back down and scrambled back to his feet to catch her. Miroku landed in the sand next to them, but just as he got up and brushed himself off, Shippo landed on his head, and they both went down.

Sesshomaru and Hisui floated gracefully down to earth, and Mikoto managed to land with reasonable aplomb not far from them. When everybody was on their feet, they took up fighting stances again. Except for Yuki, who had used up her energy and crouched, panting and exhausted in the surf with Kagome and Rei Rei to either side of her.

"Daddy," she panted, "how could you?! I'm your daughter!"

Mikoto seethed and pointed an accusing finger at Hisui. "I wouldn't do something like this to you! This was Hisui's doing!"

"Mikoto-darling!" Hisui gasped in shock. "How could lie to your own child like that? Did I raise you to lie to family?" She giggled. "Oh dear, I suppose I did. Well, in that case, good show, Darling!"

"MOTHER!"

Blink-blink. "What? I had nothing to do with this, Darling. Why do you insist upon accusing me?"

"Because you're guilty!" Mikoto hissed. He stomped over to grab his mother by both shoulders and give her a really good shake. "I am sick and tired of you always laying the blame for your actions on me! I refuse to be your scapegoat any longer! And if I must challenge you to put an end to it, then consider this a formal challenge. What is your response?"

Hisui looked to Sesshomaru for support, but he turned away. "This is your business, Hisui," he told her firmly. "If you survive it, you can tell me all about it over breakfast tomorrow morning, but I will not interfere in what is clearly a family squabble."

"But—" Hisui stammered, then clamped her mouth shut with a snap. "Very well, Darling. If that is your final decision, you are no ally of mine. When I've slain Mikoto, I will challenge you."

The breath caught in Sesshomaru's throat at that, and everything got incredibly quiet. Even Inu Yasha and Tachimora stopped fighting to hear how the Great Demon of the West would respond to a challenge from his lover. "That is a gamble you cannot win, Hisui Oukami," the demon lord warned in a dangerously quiet voice. "I am no longer the pup you ignored all those centuries ago, and Mikoto is no longer your whipping boy. We have harnessed the powers of this world, while you have disdained them, believing your own power is enough. If you challenge me, you will die. If you kill Mikoto, you must face his children, who will surely wish to avenge him. Not to mention certain kitsune who will want vengeance for what you did to Shinai. I would reconsider this course of action, if I were you, Hisui."

Inu Yasha counted five of his own heartbeats before Hisui replied. "Do not underestimate me, pup! Before you were born, I slew all those who stood between me and the title of Great Demon of the North—even my own father and mother! I eliminated the Great Demon of the East and put his son under my control!"  
Rei Rei gasped as she realized Hisui had just confessed to a crime she'd previously pinned on her. Oblivious or uncaring, Hisui went on.

"Now I will destroy the two men who stand between me and my lifelong goal of supreme power! First my weakling half-blood son, then you, Sesshomaru!" She bared her fangs at him and showed him her claws. "I loved you, and this is how you show your love in return? Challenging me instead of standing by my side?!"

"What goes on between you and your son is none of my business," Sesshomaru replied calmly, but his back was stiff and tense, and his eyes bored into Hisui's like hot coals. He flexed his fingers at his sides, claws ready for action.

Inu Yasha dropped Tachimora and went to stand beside his brother, while Shunusuke took up a place at his father's side. Mikoto held up his hand and shook his head at his son. "Stay out of it, Shunusuke. If she defeats me, it falls to you and Yuki to avenge me and keep our holdings out of her hands."

Shunusuke nodded once, then reluctantly backed away. In the ocean, Yuki glared hot death at her grandmother and swore to kill her or die trying if Mikoto didn't win the challenge.

"You killed the Great Demon of the East," Rei Rei hissed through clenched teeth. She raised her wand and pointed it accusingly at Hisui. "And blamed me for it! I don't care if this is the last thing I do, Hisui Oukami, Great Demon of the North," a bright pink aura ignited about her body, throbbing and gaining intensity as Rei Rei's anger grew, "but I will punish you for your crimes!" She closed her eyes and began her incantation, calling upon the ancient spirits and the spirits of those murdered by Hisui Oukami to come to her aid and smash the demoness in one, mighty blow. The force of the energies gathering around her blew up her hair and her skirt, revealing her sequined panties that had so mystified Inu Yasha before.

He stared at her with wide eyes, watching the power whirl about her sparkling body, lighting up the night like a blazing pink bonfire. Miroku and Shippo appeared beside him, just as awestruck as he was by what they were seeing.

Hisui closed her eyes and started gathering her own powers to counter Rei Rei's attack. Mikoto looked from the magical girl to the Great Demon and decided it was an uneven match. Though the fight wasn't his business, he began to meditate, focusing his chi so he could fire upon Hisui at the same time as Rei Rei did. Seeing what her father was doing, Yuki staggered to her feet and used the last of her strength to find reserves of chi to use in support of the magical girl.

Kagome saw how Yuki was struggling and thought of the Shikon fragments hidden in her underwear. If she gave them to Yuki, they would make up for the energy she'd already lost. Then again, Yuki might try to keep them to give to her father when it was all over (if they survived). She looked to Inu Yasha, but he was watching Hisui power up. Alright, Kagome thought, it's up to me. She hiked up her skirt, reached into her panties and untaped one single shard from her belly. It was one of the little ones Inu Yasha had taken from Mikoto, not the big one she'd brought with her from the past. She went to Yuki and very carefully taped the shard to her shoulder with a whispered: "Use its power—but give it back when you're done!"

Yuki grinned, then all at once her aura crackled with greater intensity as she drew upon the shard's power and added it to her own. Kagome backed out of the way, ready to dive into the water when all those powers collided. She bumped into Sango, who had the same idea. They hung onto each other and watched, breathlessly, for what seemed like forever before the four powers pulled back to strike.

Just then Shunsuke jumped into the middle of the ring and shouted: "STOP IT! Stop this right now! I said—" Inu Yasha tackled him in time for the energies to fly over their heads and smash into each other just a foot or two from Hisui's face.

The demoness planted her feet in the sand and gritted her teeth as she fought too keep the three powers at bay. She grunted and groaned and was pushed back through the sand toward the water, but the energies didn't get through.

Inu Yasha looked over his shoulder at his brother, who watched Hisui with a tense expression and sharp eyes. His fists were balled at his sides, and Inu Yasha thought he looked ready to spring. "Stay out of it, Sesshomaru!" Inu Yasha called to his brother. Sesshomaru glared at him once, then reached into his jacket and pulled out a small pistol. He hesitated with it halfway out, then pulled it free and pointed it at Hisui.

"This is loaded with youkai-specific ammunition, Hisui!" He shouted over the roar of the clashing powers. "Stand down and let's settle this peacefully!" He pointed it at Mikoto, then Yuki. "I said, enough! You, too, magical girl. Power down! This weapon works just as well on humans…and I am a very fast, very accurate shot."

The four fighters glared at him but didn't stop their attacks.

"Don't imagine I'm bluffing," Sesshomaru growled and fired four slugs into the sand barely an inch from each combatant's foot.

Mikoto and Yuki relented, leaving only Hisui and the magical girl locking energies. Soon, Rei Rei began to lose. Realizing this, she dropped to the ground, letting Hisui's attack whiz over her head to obliterate a big chunk of sand dune behind her. Before Hisui could attack again, Sesshomaru had the pistol pointed in her face.

"You wouldn't dare!" She snarled at him.

In response, he pulled back on the trigger a little bit and gave her a very level stare.

She let her hands drop to her sides in surrender. "There you are, turning against me again, Darling," she sighed dramatically. "I wonder why I love you."

"I often wonder why I love you, as well," Sesshomaru replied with a tight smile, "but the fact remains that I do. Enough to stop you when you are clearly acting unwisely."

Inu Yasha rolled off of Shunusuke in time to see Tachimora trying to escape, so he tackled the human and mushed his face into the sand to teach him a lesson. "By the way, Tachi," he growled into the man's ear, "who do you work for? Mikoto or Hisui?"

"I told you, he works for—" Hisui began, but Sesshomaru brought the pistol up again, and she shut up with a pout.

Inu Yasha yanked Tachi's head back by the hair and repeated the question in more forceful tones.

"Hi-Hisui Oukami," he coughed and spit sand. "She made a counter offer I couldn't refuse: Do what she said or die."

Every eye turned to Hisui, whose jaw worked for a while before sputtering angrily: "He's lying!"

"No I'm not!" Tachi shot back. "What is your problem, bitch? You told me to get rid of Inu Yasha's women or die, so I got rid of them—but you didn't tell me one of them was a fuckin' Sailor Moon chick!"

Hisui's face turned a very unattractive shade as she trembled with rage and power crackled in her palms. Sesshomaru waved the gun at her and shook his head. "He's just a common punk, Hisui, ignore his babble."

"Who's a Sailor Moon chick?!" Rei Rei shrieked and shook her wand at Tachi, who tried to escape Inu Yasha's grasp to get away from her. "Do you really think I want to be a magical girl?! Huh?! No! I don't! I was just minding my own business, doing my homework one evening when this little fairy person appeared in my room and told me I was the chosen defender of justice and here's my wand, have a nice day! I hate this! It's so corny and stupid! My uniform has sequins fer cryin' out loud! I look like a damn Christmas ornament!" Tears sprang into her eyes, then poured down her cheeks as she collapsed onto her knees and sobbed. "Then I get mixed up with her!" She pointed the wand at Hisui, who jumped in spite of herself. "She is such a total shrew-bitch! I never did anything to her! I just happened to be the big sister of the best friend of the son of the Great Demon of the East, who Miss Thing over there wanted dead! Only she's too much of a spineless wench to accept responsibility for her own crimes, and blames them on a wimpy, funny-looking, insipid magical girl like me! I hope Mikoto kicks your skinny white ass, you shrew!"

All but Hisui and Rei Rei took a few moments to digest that, each one hoping one of the others would be the first to field a response that wouldn't piss off the magical girl or Hisui even more. Unfortunately, the first one to open his mouth was Inu Yasha, the King of Tact. He looked Hisui straight in the eyes and said with a sneer: "Does she know you, or what?"

Hisui ignored him in favor of Rei Rei. ""Shrew'? You call me a shrew?" She accused indignantly, and tried to advance on the magical girl only to be stopped by Sesshomaru. "She called me a shrew, Darling! How can I simply allow her to insult me like that?"

"Because she's right!" Pointed out Inu Yasha, who never did know when to quit.

Sesshomaru gave him a withering glare over his shoulder and told him to stay out of it. "Hisui," he began in a strained voice, then tried to put on a sweet smile. He only succeeded in looking like he was about to eat her alive. "Darling? While you are not, at this time, being a shrew, you are being a bitch in more than just the literal sense, and I have lost all patience with your childish fits of temper."

"'Childish fits of—" Hisui sputtered, but Sesshomaru wasn't finished with her yet.

He licked his lips and continued in what he thought was a patient tone. "You will not possess the Jewel. History has shown that, so stop wasting your energy on it. The Eastern Lands are better served by Mikoto acting as regent to the juvenile heir until he comes of age, than by you controlling them on top of your own, rightful territory."

"Darling! How dare you suggest—"

"Put a sock in it, Shrew-Bitch," Rei Rei snarled, "you confessed to the killing in front of all of us! You're not fooling anybody by acting like it wasn't all a big power grab!"

"She called me a shrew again!" Hisui shrieked and glared at Sesshomaru to either let her defend her own honor or go defend it for her. He allowed neither.

"Get over it," he sighed. "She's upset and hates you with every fiber of her body. She will continue to hurl insults at you as long as doing so gets a rise out of you."

Hisui's eyes blazed and she pointed angrily past his shoulder at the smug magical girl. "But she called me a shrew!"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and growled under his breath: "Hisui, you are beginning to fit the bill. Stop it."

Gasp! "Darling!"

"'Darling'!" Inu Yasha mocked as he got up and brushed sand off of himself. He kept a foot on Tachi's back to keep the human down. "Bitch, you really are a shrew. If my brother didn't have his brains in his balls, he'd leave you."

Those who knew Inu Yasha best sighed and buried their faces in their hands. Inu Yasha blithely soldiered on.

"You're a spoiled brat, who can't take responsibility for anything. No wonder the Northern Lands are shit—you're in charge! You probably think being a Great Demon is a fashion statement, or something, not a big job with major responsibilities!" He took his foot off of Tachi's back so he could kick him in the side a couple of times to give him an idea of what would happen to him should he try to run away. "Hell, I hate to say it, but I think the North would be better off with Mikoto than you—and that's saying something, 'cause I think he's a total asshole, too. See, I'm on to you, Hisui," he waggled a finger at her with a wicked smirk. "You're just acting like you care about Sesshomaru so you can get control of the West by going through his pants."

"Thank you for that vote of confidence, little brother," Sesshomaru muttered.

Inu Yasha didn't hear him. "You don't have a sincere bone…in…your… oh shit." He dove out of the way of the angry bolt of energy Hisui tossed at him before Sesshomaru could stop her. "Can't you take the truth?! Yikes!" Dive. Kaboom!

He landed in the waves at Kagome's feet and looked up to find her seething at him with a look that usually prefaced…

"SIT!"

Splash! Burble-burble-burble. Inu Yasha surfaced, gasping for air and cursing Kagome, Hisui and Sesshomaru with adjectives and descriptions of bodily functions that really weren't meant to share a sentence with one another. Even Tachimora looked shocked.

Hisui raised her eyebrows with a scheming grin on her face. "Show me how you did that, girl, and I'll let you all live."

"Hisui…" Sesshomaru warned and showed her the gun again.

She pouted at him. "I'll bet it's not even loaded."

He showed her the rounds in the chambers, and she simmered down very quickly. "I thought you loved me, Darling," she whined.

"I do," he replied in exasperation, "that's why I'm talking you out of this course of action. Forget the Jewel, the Eastern Lands, and Inu Yasha, and I'm sure you will live a lot longer."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Is that a threat?"

His sigh came out more like a disgusted growl. "Do you want me to threaten you, Hisui? Or challenge you? Is Inu Yasha right?"

Her eyes went wide, then she gathered her composure and snarled: "No, Inu Yasha is not right. He is never right. He's an utterly brainless git with no class and no sense of style. He'd be better off dead, rather than tagging along after you, dirtying your family name and embarrassing your organization."

"That wasn't a very wise thing to say," thought Miroku with a knot of dread in his stomach. Even if Hisui was an incredibly powerful Great Demon, he'd seen what Inu Yasha was capable of if you got him mad enough, even in his current condition. Still, Hisui was a Great Demon…

Inu Yasha bared his flat-topped human teeth at Hisui and displayed his fingernails—then remembered how thoroughly unintimidating that was when he was in human form. He cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets to hide the fact that they had no claws. "I am not an embarrassment!"

She laughed. "Of course you are. Look at you. You're a filthy urchin with no skill whatsoever. Guts aren't everything, you know. You need skill…and intelligence, another thing you seem to lack. You're a common dog."

"…a common…dog…?" Inu Yasha ground out through teeth that refused to unclench. "Take that back, bitch!"

Giggle. "Make me."

Sesshomaru rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "That was mature..."

"Ah-HA!" Inu Yasha crowed and stabbed a triumphant finger at Hisui, who just sort of blinked at him in confusion and disgust. "My point, exactly! You're just a spoiled little baby!"

"THAT WILL BE ENOUGH!" Roared Sesshomaru and Mikoto in unison. They looked at each other in astonishment for a moment, then accepted that they were agreeing on something important and got on with it.

"Inu Yasha," Sesshomaru commanded in an angry hiss, "shut up!"

"'Shut-?'"

"You are not helping!" He pointed at Kagome and added. "Make him sit if he opens his mouth again."

Kagome gulped. Inu Yasha fumed. Sesshomaru turned his ire on Hisui, but Mikoto beat him to it.

"If you abandon the Jewel, mother, I will withdraw my challenge."

"Who says I want you to withdraw your challenge," Hisui huffed. "I don't need impertinent children nipping at my heels. I should have killed you long ago!"

Gulp. The others backed up a bit more, and Tachi decided this would be a really good time for him to try to escape again. He was stopped by Shunusuke, who held onto him by his collar and kept him from struggling with a look that bespoke the most horrifying punishment for disobedience.

"Thank you," Mikoto told him with a polite inclination of his head. When he looked up, he saw that the rise at the top of the beach was now sported a small contingent of humans in dark suits. Sesshomaru's people, he guessed. He figured his own weren't far behind. Even as he thought that, about a dozen kitsune appeared in front of the humans. One of them leaned heavily on his two companions, and Mikoto recognized Shinai, Tsurai and Gin. He didn't know the others but guessed them to be Shinai's allies. Mikoto turned to his mother with a grim look. "I think things have gotten a little too hot for you, Mother. What will it be? Forsake the Jewel and leave these kids alone, or persist and deal with us and them," he pointed at the dunes and was gratified to see Hisui's face turn a few shades paler. "I don't think apologizing to Shinai will make it all better, so it might be best if I hire him to keep him out of trouble." He gave Sesshomaru a lopsided smirk and added: "I doubt he'd be amenable to working for Sesshomaru."

Hisui looked from the small army to Mikoto, then Sesshomaru, where her gaze lingered. After a while, she smiled pertly and gave her lover a little peck on the cheek. "Very well, Darling," she said to Mikoto, then hung herself off Sesshomaru's arm, "you win this round. I forsake the Jewel, since it already had another destiny, anyway. And you may have Shinai, too, if he'll have you. There. Is that what you want?"

"One other thing, Mother," Mikoto told her in a hard voice, "leave the Eastern Lands alone, or face challenge from me and the South."

She bit her lip and glared for a few moments, then shrugged and giggled. "Oh, very well. Yawn! What a tiring evening this has been! Sess-Darling, take me back to the hotel so I can properly apologize to you for being such a bore."

He sighed and didn't budge. "Not until you admit to Shinai that you lied and apologize for attacking him without good reason. He was your most loyal operative, Hisui. What you did to him was shameful." When she only tossed her head at him, he added: "Do it, or sleep alone."

She pouted, but he refused to give ground, so with her head held high, she stalked over to where Shinai hung on Gin and Tsurai, paused, then inclined her head almost imperceptibly and said: "I attacked you without just cause. I was wrong and I apologize." Before he could accept or decline her apology, she turned and walked back to Sesshomaru.

"Definitely a shrew," Gin muttered in Shinai's ear.

"You're better off without her," Tsurai added in his other ear.

Shinai found he wanted very much to be alone in his secret little hidey hole tree in Australia and disappeared. After a moment's deliberation, Gin and Tsurai reluctantly decided not to follow him. They reported to their boss instead, while behind them, one by one, the other kitsune disappeared, and the humans relaxed their guard.

Sesshomaru freed himself from Hisui and went to his brother. "I want you to know you are not an embarrassment to our family or my organization. Skill will come with training, and I have high hopes for your ability to learn quickly."

Inu Yasha looked at him in shock and couldn't find anything to say for a long time. By the time he did, Sesshomaru and Hisui were halfway down the beach, and he didn't feel like chasing after them. Kagome startled him when she hooked her arm through his and gave him a sweet little peck on the cheek. "Now if you can just learn to keep your mouth shut…" she teased.


	35. Chapter 35

Crazy Little Thing Called Love:  
Chapter 35 (The End)

Saturday morning found Inu Yasha and his friends, both old and new, enjoying breakfast on the Green Mermaid's back veranda and trying to avoid saying goodbye. In spite of all the ups and downs they'd had, Inu Yasha knew he'd miss Yuki and Shunusuke. He still thought Yuki was a bit weird but felt sort of sorry for her and Miroku. Goodbye would be hardest for them. He wondered if they'd ever be together again. The Priest who had taught Miroku had told him if he couldn't get rid of his curse before the year was out, the Air Rip would suck him in. Inu Yasha wondered if Miroku had told Yuki about that.

He figured he'd especially miss Shunusuke, though. Shunusuke had gotten him to do things he'd never imagined himself doing, like playing guitar and going to parties. When he came back to this time to train with Sesshomaru, he definitely planned to hook up with Shunusuke. He really wanted to spar with him again. It was the closest thing he'd ever had to real sword training and it had whet his appetite for more. Maybe he'd be nice and bring Miroku and Sango along.

Sango seemed to have warmed to Shunusuke somewhat, but Inu Yasha suspected they were parting as just friends for now. If they met again, he had no doubt Shunusuke would try to upgrade his status to Romantic Interest.

Only Rei Rei seemed truly content. She was home and back to her normal life…and she knew the truth about the murder of the Great Demon of the East. Doubtless, she planned to tell the young heir the truth and help protect him from Hisui Oukami until he was old enough to avenge his father.

"Excuse me," the waiter interrupted Inu Yasha's thoughts politely. He held out an envelope with Inu Yasha's name on it. "This came for you, sir."

Inu Yasha took the envelope, and the waiter bowed and went away. "Huh. Who's sending me notes?" Then his stomach clenched. What if it was Hisui playing with his mind again? Or one of those bloody kitsune?

The others broke off their conversations to look at him curiously. "Well, don't just sit there," Kagome urged him with a nudge, "open it!"

Inu Yasha tore open the envelope with a claw, then tossed it onto the table. Shippo picked it up and turned it over to look at the writing on its face with a furrowed brow while Inu Yasha read the note it had contained.

"'Inu Yasha,'" he began slowly, "'I'm sorry I couldn't help you out this time, but a person can't be in the same place at the same time as themself without canceling out their existence—or so say the scientists. I didn't feel like testing out their theories. If you're reading this, it's Saturday, and you're about to go home. To make up for not coming to your rescue and to prove my identity, here's some inside information: Naraku attacked Kaede's village last night, but Kikyou helped her drive him off. When you go home and find out that's true, you'll believe that I'm who I say I am. Maybe we can meet when you show up for work next time. Take care of yourself, Jerk Boy!'" Inu Yasha stopped there and stared at the page in disbelief. He couldn't even bring himself to look up at Shippo's curious face as it peered over the top of the note.

Kagome looked over to see the stamp and name at the bottom of the page and almost choked. On Inu Yasha's other side, Miroku leaned over to see, and his jaw dropped. He looked from the paper to Shippo, then Inu Yasha.

"Inu Yasha!" Sango demanded. "Read it! Who's it from?"

Inu Yasha closed his eyes and listened to the blood pound in his ears for a few moments, then swallowed hard and said: "It's from Foxfire, the Great Demon of the South. Otherwise known as Shippo." He put the note down and wrapped both hands around Shippo's throat and shook him with an angry snarl. "This isn't funny, fox!"

"Gag! I…didn't write…that!" The little kitsune choked. "I mean…me, me. Not me, him, me. Inu Yasha!"

"Inu Yasha, let him go right now!" Kagome shouted in his ear. "You're hurting him!"

"Sesshomaru would've said something!" Inu Yasha growled but he let go of Shippo's neck. The fox fell flat on his back on the table, gasping for air. "Mikoto or Hisui would've said something! Hell," he glared at Yuki and Shunusuke in turn, "one of you would've said something!" He thumped his fist onto the offending document and hissed: "This is a really bad joke, Shippo!"

"I told you," Shippo gasped from his prone position, "I didn't write it! I don't believe it, either."

"Well," Kagome mused, "Yuki and Shunusuke did say the Great Demon of the South is a kitsune. And anyway, we'll know if it's legitimate if we get home and what the note says happened to the village is true."

Inu Yasha frowned thoughtfully. She was right, but… "Kitsune don't get to be Great Demons," he pouted, "they're not mean enough for it. Just tricky."

Everyone looked up and beyond Inu Yasha, then a familiar hand touched his shoulder. He smelled his brother, then to his disgust, Hisui. So much for a nice farewell breakfast with people he actually liked. "Good morning, Brother." He chose not to acknowledge Hisui.

She, of course, chose to acknowledge him. With an exuberant "darling!" and a kiss on each of his cheeks. Much to Inu Yasha's delight, she didn't seem to want to sit down and join them. He wiped her kisses from his cheeks with a disgusted scowl and growled at her.

"Oh, darling, let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?" She cooed and blew smoke at him till he coughed. "No hard feelings. Until next time, of course."

"There will be no next time," Sesshomaru reminded her in a tight voice that made it sound like he'd said those exact words at least a dozen times already that morning. Inu Yasha suspected he had.

Sesshomaru noticed the note in front of Inu Yasha and looked over his brother's shoulder to read it. After a few moments, he straightened up and frowned at Shippo, who was just getting his wind back and was sitting up looking at him. "So Foxfire is…you? Four hundred years later?" He sounded skeptical. "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Shippo threw up his hands in disgust. "I didn't write that!"

"My point, exactly—"

"I mean, me," Shippo corrected him. "Me, younger me. Not me, older me. There's information in there that'll prove it once we get home!" He sighed with aggravation and added vehemently: "I don't even want to be a Great Demon!"

"Good thing," Inu Yasha grumbled, "you'd make a lousy one."

Shippo narrowed his eyes at him and bared his fangs.

"You're too cute," Inu Yasha added. "Great Demons aren't cute."

Well, Shippo could hardly be mad at him for calling him cute, but still…"I wouldn't be such a bad Great Demon, I just don't want the job, is all. Too much like work."

Sesshomaru and Hisui smiled at that. "Yes, little fox, it certainly is," Sesshomaru sighed. "A lot can happen in a few centuries. Who knows? Maybe this really is from the future you. I'm curious to hear if that proof in the letter actually proves anything. I think I'll pay the Great Demon of the South a visit, however, just to be sure. It's time we met."

Inu Yasha pierced Shippo with a mean look: "If it really is you, you're in deep shit for not helping us, Furball! Old kitsune are a lot more powerful than little baby kitsune, like you!"

"I am not a baby!" Shippo shot back.

Inu Yasha folded his arms and tossed his head with a huff. "Close enough."

"Oh yeah?" Shippo hopped up and got in Inu Yasha's face with an angry growl, his tiny fists balled up and shaking at the smart mouthed half-demon. "You're such a jerk!"

Deja vu all over again. "A…jerk? I thought I proved to everybody this week that I'm not a jerk! I'm a hero, dammit!"

Hisui agreed with Shippo. "You are a foul-mouthed, filthy, tasteless, adolescent punk. In a word: A Jerk."

That was when Sesshomaru figured it would be a good idea to separate his girlfriend and his brother before they started a rematch of last night. "Brother, I'll see you in two weeks to begin your training. Report to me at our father's castle." He favored the rest of the group with a tight smile, then took hold of Hisui's arm, spun her about and led her back to the hotel. She didn't seem to want to go.

"We'll meet again, darling!" She called back to Inu Yasha with a teasing wink and cheerful wave.

"I told you," Sesshomaru growled, "there will be no next time!"

"And stop calling me 'darling'," Inu Yasha muttered.

* * *

Yuki drove them back to the Higurashi Shrine, though it was a tight squeeze, getting six people into a BMW. Rei Rei found her own way home, promising to look Kagome up when school started again. Kagome's family was elated to see her alive and unharmed, though Mrs. Higurashi wasn't too thrilled to see Inu Yasha again until Kagome told her what a hero he'd been all week. She left out the cuddling parts, of course. Her mother probably wouldn't have approved of her kissing a demon to the point of arousal.

Mrs. Higurashi invited everyone in for something to drink, but Yuki and Shunusuke said they had to get home. Shunusuke was supposed to pick up some American friends at the airport, and Yuki was scheduled to leave for a train trip to the family castle in Osaka, where she worked as a tour guide for part of the summer.

"After this week," she explained sheepishly, "I think my parent's will be a little miffed if I blow it off. Call me when you come back again," she told Kagome. "Here, I'll give you the number." She found a pen and one of her father's business cards in her purse, wrote her phone number on it at the castle and in Tokyo and handed it to Kagome. "Guess I'll see you, then. It was fun meeting you guys!"

With a friendly wave, she and Shunusuke got in the car and drove away.

Kagome tucked Yuki's phone number into her pocket, then looked over at Inu Yasha, only to find him looking a little crestfallen. She reached up and patted his drooping ears and asked: "What's the matter? We'll see them again."

Inu Yasha's ears twitched away from her touch, and he shrugged. "I guess Shunusuke doesn't want to hang around with me when I come back for training."  
They looked at him curiously, and Sango asked: "Why do you say that? You guys seemed to get along most of the time."

Shippo nodded. "They got along even better when Shunusuke first showed up. They practiced sword fighting together," he smirked, "and Shunusuke kicked Inu Yasha's ass!"

Inu Yasha growled at him. "Yeah, but I kicked his when it was just hand to hand!"

Kagome giggled. "I think he'd like to hear from you when you come back."

Inu Yasha's ears drooped again. "He didn't say so, like Yuki did with you just now. He just said goodbye and drove away. I guess he's mad at me for not trusting him at the end."

"He'll get over it," Miroku told him with a reassuring pat on the back. "Don't worry about it. I don't think he's mad at you."

"And since when do you care what anybody but Kagome thinks of you?" Shippo teased. He jumped up onto Inu Yasha's shoulder and found it was already occupied by Myouga the flea. "Hey! When'd you come back, you little coward?"

Myouga huffed indignantly. "Just now. I can't very well stay in this time, and Lord Inu Yasha is my ride home."

The Higurashis' ears pricked up at that, and they asked in unified amazement: "Inu Yasha is a lord?!"

"What kind?" Sota asked eagerly. "Are you one of the Great Demons?!"

Gramps thumped him on the head and declared importantly: "Of course he isn't! He must be the son of a Great Demon!"

Inu Yasha smirked at him. "Very good, old man. Exactly right. I'm the son of the Great Demon of the Western Lands—in my time. My brother is the Great Demon in this time."

"Inu Yasha is working for him now," Kagome told her family excitedly. "So he'll be coming back with me when I come home." The enthusiasm she was hoping for didn't materialize, so she shifted gears. "He'll have a real job."

Raised eyebrows.

"What are you telling us, Kagome," her mother asked suspiciously. She looked from her daughter to the blushing half-demon next to her, then back again. "You're not thinking about marrying him at your age, are you?!"

"Mom, I just—"

"I absolutely forbid it! You're much too young!"

"I was just trying to show you how responsible he is!" Kagome shouted with an angry stomp of her foot. "And whether you like it or not, he's my boyfriend! I'm just saying he's not a bad guy. He has a good job, takes care of his friends, and protects me. That's all."

Inu Yasha's blush deepened as he listened to her speech. It was all things he wanted to hear her say, just not in front of people.

"He's a demon," Mrs. Higurashi retorted stubbornly.

"Half demon," Kagome corrected her, "and half human." And he could be full human if he chooses to use the Jewel that way, the way he was going to use it for Kikyou all those years ago. "You don't even know him!"

"Kagome…" Inu Yasha began, but Mrs. Higurashi cut him off.

"Well…" she mused, still giving Inu Yasha a look of death as she imagined the sort of boyfriend-girlfriend things that had been going on all week, "you did say he was going to be coming back to this time with you from now on. You may continue dating him on one condition, then: He must have dinner with us at least one evening each time he comes home with you, so your family will have an opportunity to get to know him."

Kagome and Inu Yasha blushed sheepishly, and Kagome told her mother in a nervous voice: "Actually, I was sort of hoping he could stay with us when he's here…"

"I'll help around the Shrine!" Inu Yasha was quick to add. "I won't be any trouble, I swear. You won't even know I'm there. In fact, I'll probably be away training most of the time, or working, so you won't have a demon hanging around your Shrine all the time."

Mrs. Higurashi raised an eyebrow at him with a wicked little smile. "You'll help around the Shrine? Meaning, if I ask you to do the dishes—"

"I can do that!"

"—or run errands? In disguise, of course."

Inu Yasha nodded eagerly. "No problem. I'll earn my keep!" Anything, just don't keep me away from Kagome.

She thought about it for what seemed an eternity to Inu Yasha, then nodded. "Alright. You can stay with us when you're here for training. You can share Sota's room with him."

"Alright!" Sota cheered. "That'll be cool!"

Though he would much rather have shared a room with Kagome, he knew it was completely out of the question, so Inu Yasha agreed to Mrs. Higurashi's terms. He actually remembered to thank her with a nice, deep bow. Gods, he never thought he'd be so polite to a human, but she was a very important human if he wanted to keep dating Kagome without sneaking around when they were in this time. Sneaking around would definitely not score him any points with the Higurashi family.

"Well, that's settled!" Gramps announced. "So, when do you leave for the past again, Kagome?"

"As soon as I put these things away and pack for the trip," she sighed. "I have to take everybody else back, too."

"I can do that," Inu Yasha reminded her. "I want to make sure Kaede's safe and I don't want to wait for you to pack a new bag."

Kagome pouted. "I'm worried, too, you know!"

Inu Yasha rolled his eyes. "I know you are. I'm just saying, the rest of us can go back and help her right now if she needs it, while you pack—"

"I don't have to pack first," Kagome insisted, "I can go right now, then come back here and get what I need later."

Pause.

"So, you're leaving now?" Gramps asked uncertainly.

Kagome nodded and handed him her suitcase. "But I'll be back this evening at the latest to get my stuff! Come on, you guys! Kaede needs us!" She ran past her friends in the direction of the well, pausing outside the entrance to the mini shrine to turn and wave a cheerful goodbye to her family. She let everybody else go in ahead of her, then with one last wave, disappeared into the shrine.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing, letting her date a half-demon?" Mrs. Higurashi asked her father.

Gramps nodded sagely and replied: "I like him. Even if he is a demon."

Sota grinned. "I told you he's cool!"

**So that's Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**On a semi-related note, does anyone have a complete copy of A Knight of Spira by Refugee, or even better the entire trilogy?**

**I've looked everywhere online for it and I've only ever found the first four chapters. Been kicking myself for not archiving it when I had the chance.**


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